Support NeoGAF

[Messypandas]

i had a friend, who whilst taking a dump in a wobbily public stall, accidently tipped the (very full) toilet bowl spreading the lumpy, shit-watery contents underneath the other stalls (which were occupied). Lets just say he got out of there very fast

 

[PjotrStroganov]

Women not wanting to sit down obviously is why there are alot of misfires in the toilet. But I think that's only part of the problem. I bet the explosiveness of the situation is caused by the fact that women refuse to fart in public. They just bottle it all up, only to be released in the rest room. Imagine the carnage when all the air that is trapped releases and propels all that is blocking it outwards.

 

[Alien Manobo]

I bet the explosiveness of the situation is caused by the fact that women refuse to fart in public. They just bottle it all up, only to be released in the rest room. Imagine the carnage when all the air that is trapped releases and propels all that is blocking it outwards.

Reminds me of a certain MythBusters episode.

 

[Jarmel]

LEGENDARY

Edit: The pictures are gone, which is a horrible shame as they where masterful in their awfulness and detail.

Oh god I laughed so hard at this.

The worst story I have is a personal one. One of the few times I love the anonymous part of the internet. I had just drunk a Gatorade bottle full of vodka, as I had never been drunk before and wanting to see what it felt like. I was fine for about 15 minutes but got tired and went back to my dorm room. I feel asleep. While I was sleeping, I shat myself. I woke up in the middle of the night with shit everywhere in my bed. I rushed to the bathroom and sprayed crap all over the toilet. After this mess was done, I tried to take a shower which also ended up with shit all over the shower stall. I then went back to my bed and had to take everything off the bed and throw it on the floor. In the morning I had to throw everything out but my dorm room smelled like shit for a week. I got so wasted that I was still drunk when I woke up and didn't sober up until 4 or 5 in the afternoon.

I haven't touched an alcoholic drink again.

 

[FOOTE]

I was maybe 8 years old when I saw my first (and only)nasty bathroom experience, this was probably also my first experience in an American store too.

I was at a Target or Walmart and I went into the bathroom. As you go through the door there is a stall wall that blocks your view from the rest of the bathroom. I remember when I walked in that it smelled horrible, and I said out loud " it stinks!", and said it really loudly. Then I turned the corner and witnessed one of the most crazy things ever in my life to this point of my life. Shit was spread out all over the bathroom. Little chunks about two inches in diameter on the the floor, streaks were streaming over the walls and mirrors. I stood there for like 10 seconds looking in awe before I noticed a rather large woman burning a hole through my soul as she looked at me. I locked up, and I couldn't move. She said to me "You need to leave." And she then returned cleaning the mess.. with toilet paper. After that I can't remember anything that occurred, I don't know if I used the urinal or anything.


A more humorous story, or at least it is funny to me. When I was in high school, I was in the bathroom and the janitor was in there doing regular cleaning stuff, I guess. He going through the bathroom and I guess he decided that he needed to take a shit. So he went into a stall, and right away I hear "What is this?!" I'm looking in the mirror to look back at his stall, and he comes out and makes eye contact with me and says "Acting like someone wants to see they shit" He was pissed off, and I'm pretty sure he thought for whatever reason that I was the perpetrator.

Those are my lame stories.

 

[Nostalgic Nightmare]

The best , worst story in a bathroom will always be my best friends. I've told it here before but basically when he was around 15 he tried to fellate himself in the bathtub. To do this he got naked, and swung his legs over his head trying his best to just get his eager braces-lined mouth close enough.
In this heated attempt he also forgot to lock the door, so when his dad entered the bathroom to take a shit, he was greeted by three eyes, all of them brown. And the best part was my friend was so horrified, he froze up, just locked eyes with his dad, almost imagining the disgust and contempt his father must have seeing the fruit of his loins in it's darkest, pathetic moment. This was one of those moments that neither would forget.

 

[MicH]

I don't actually have any disgusting bathroom-stories, I guess I'm quite lucky with that.

However, I do have a personal story. I was like 13 or so, and just got out of the shower one day in my summer break. Just as I've put on my clothes, I feel a fart coming. I didn't think more of it, and pushed a bit to get it out, when suddenly I feel it's warmer than normal farts.. and then the sensation of something warm dribbing down your leg comes. Oh god. It was horrible. I had just showered and put on clean clothes when I sharted myself. Pants and underwear got thrown out. From that day I have never pushed my farts out.

EDIT: Oh right, I have another one! When I was 15 I was in USA with my family. At the last hotel just before we headed home, I needed to shit badly. So I got out in our bathroom and did my business. I flushed. It wouldn't budge. I opened the door and said to my mom: "Mom, the toilet is clogged. What do I do?". She told me to try and flush again. BIG MISTAKE. I saw the waterlevel rise and rise until it finally got over the toiletseat and splashed onto the floor. It was horrible. Shit and urin everywhere.

The most embarrassing part was, that we called the reception and when the janitor (?? seemed like a normal receptionist, ouch) came and cleaned the toilet we all sat and watched. Sooo horrible and I have been teased with it ever since.

 

[Jarmel]

The best , worst story in a bathroom will always be my best friends. I've told it here before but basically when he was around 15 he tried to fellate himself in the bathtub. To do this he got naked, and swung his legs over his head trying his best to just get his eager braces-lined mouth close enough.
In this heated attempt he also forgot to lock the door, so when his dad entered the bathroom to take a shit, he was greeted by three eyes, all of them brown. And the best part was my friend was so horrified, he froze up, just locked eyes with his dad, almost imagining the disgust and contempt his father must have seeing the fruit of his loins in it's darkest, pathetic moment. This was one of those moments that neither would forget.

Sweet Jesus. That's something neither party will never ever talk about. Ever.

 

[ATF487]

Not so much of a horror story, but anyway:

In High School I used to spend time in the library during study periods, and the bathroom near the library was also close to the classroom for the special education kids. One day I had to take a shit, and I was in a stall; the door didn't really lock correctly but it had never been an issue before, and I figured that if it was closed no one would bother me. But I was wrong, mid shit, some kid burst through and just didn't know what to do when he saw me. I muttered something about it being occupied, and he just stood there staring for a few seconds before he realized that he probably shouldn't be there.