Support NeoGAF

[Eiolon]

Basically, I have an addiction to online gaming. I am not blaming it on the games or their respective developers because it's not their fault. I am just looking for advice or pointers from anyone who may have had this problem before.

And yes, I do realize that I have real-life responsibilities. I know perfectly well what I need to do in life, I just don't have the motivation to do it - though luckily I have not skipped work just to play as I realize I still need to eat and pay the Internet bill.

I've tried everything from deleting all my characters to selling my game systems and PC. I just keep coming back to it.

 

[Stoney Mason]

Stop fighting what you know in your heart you want! Surrender!!














But seriously what games are you addicted to? WoW? or is it other games?

 

[Eiolon]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

 

[Tauntaun]

I've tried everything from deleting all my characters to selling my game systems and PC. I just keep coming back to it.

"What are you gonna do when you're born to play FPS? Guess there's nothing left to do BUT play FPS" - FPS Doug

Spoiler

are you a serial killer?

 

[Vague]

I dated a guy addicted to WoW. We were together for 8 months and in that time he pretty much sucked me dry of all my funds i have never known him to have a job, although he has looked but perhaps not aggressively so...fast forward to 3 months after we split, he's been run out of the state because he stole from the people who's house he was staying in...rent free...he is now living with people he met on WoW...all the way on the other side of the country.

WARNING: Do NOT let this happen to you.

 

[Stoney Mason]

I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

Dude, you rock if that's true!

 

[Tuvoc]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

2 weeks of vacation to play WoW?

wow...

 

[Tauntaun]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

That's not cool man, you need to sort out some issues if you're putting games before wife/work/life. You might want to see a counselor, seriously.

 

[GodMike]

Quit being that stereotypical gaming nerd, get a life, find some pussy, and live happily ever after.

Otherwise, just off yourself already.

 

[Vague]

Quit being that stereotypical gaming nerd, get a life, find some pussy, and live happily ever after.

Otherwise, just off yourself already.

He's married....read thread, then post...thanks

 

[distantmantra]

That's not cool man, you need to sort out some issues if you're putting games before wife/work/life. You might want to see a counselor, seriously.

Seriously. Really step back and take a look at your situation before it leads to separation/divorce.

 

[Stoney Mason]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

Well I sympathize as there are a few things that I could categorize myself as being addicted too but online gaming isn't one of them....I'm sure there are internet support groups for such things that would be more useful, helpful, and understanding than GAF though.


Without being too cliche I guess I would ask what makes you addicted to these games. To be honest I find MMORPG's to be a bit boring but everybody has different taste. I mean what pleasure are you deriving from them that makes you want to play them that much and can that pleasure be derived in other activities that would make you feel better? I know that's so general as to be almost meaningless but whatever addictions I have, they always tend to be in compensation for some feeling I can't get any other way. If I can cut back and do other things that I feel better about, then I don't feel so bad about doing certain things in moderation.

 

[Eggo]

I was going to post something smart and quippy, but I don't have the heart. I think the OP is suffering from a real problem which will eventually be recognized as a legitimate illness by medical professionals.

 

[Dr_Cogent]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

This is all sorts of stupid. If you value your marriage, quit the game. If you don't, continue on with the idiocy.

 

[Tuvoc]

He's married....read thread, then post...thanks

Yeah, I'm sure she loooves the cyber cock.

 

[Stoney Mason]

Quit being that stereotypical gaming nerd, get a life, find some pussy, and live happily ever after.

Otherwise, just off yourself already.

Yeah Dawg! Get some pussy yo! Me and GodMike are running a train on some ho's now!!Swordfighting an shit!!!

Thug Life ya punk beyotch!!!!

 

[Zapages]

I was going to post something smart and quippy, but I don't have the heart. I think the OP is suffering from a real problem which will eventually be recognized as a legitimate illness by medical professionals.

I think it already is... I think its called Computer Addiction is under instant Self-Gratification category....

Seriously you need to go and meet some clinical psychologist.

 

[ronito]

WoW will cost you your marriage. Just stop playing. Honestly, uninstall it. In a week or so you'll be much happier.

 

[Vague]

Yeah, I'm sure she loooves the cyber cock.

I hope he atleast has the sense to take breaks from WoW for sex. :lol

 

[Tuvoc]

I hope he atleast has the sense to take breaks from WoW for sex. :lol

For all we know he could be cheating on her with a lv60 Mage

Spoiler

ok, I'm done

 

[kablooey]

Currently it's WoW. I just got the beta invite and I am very tempted to stay home from work to play for a couple of days (can be sick for 2 days without needing a doctors note). I already have 2 weeks of vacation set aside for its release which is pissing my wife off because I am not spending any vacation with her.

Wow. Er, no pun. I'm not really in a position to throw stones, what with problems of my own, but you really need to see someone about that. I think you should just quit playing cold turkey, and maybe you can try to do something with the wife that fulfills the same role for you as the game does.

 

[Lost Fragment]

I dated a guy addicted to WoW. We were together for 8 months and in that time he pretty much sucked me dry of all my funds i have never known him to have a job, although he has looked but perhaps not aggressively so...fast forward to 3 months after we split, he's been run out of the state because he stole from the people who's house he was staying in...rent free...he is now living with people he met on WoW...all the way on the other side of the country.

WARNING: Do NOT let this happen to you.

Uh, damn.

 

[Vague]

Uh, damn.

Its sad, really...but i giggle about it a little bit every day....karma is a bitch.

 

[Maya]

This may be a good time to wean yourself off, and start playing Oblivion.

I can say this: After you play Oblivion (being able to save and walk away at any time) and complete the Dark Brotherhood line of quests, you will think that you have never played a better video game ever in your life.

 

[PhlegmMaster]

Christ, dude, don't listen to some of the guys in this thread. They're partly right, you DO have a problem, but you're not ill, and you don't need counseling. You have a small character flaw, and this obsession you have with online gaming is the way it manifests. All you need to do is realize you have a problem (you did), make a decision, and hold yourself to it.

Limit yourself to a set amount of gaming time per week. Make plans for a vacation with your wife. You don't have to change your entire lifestyle, games aren't drugs that require you to stop enjoying them completely to recover your humanity, or something.

Again, make your decision, and stick with it; tell your wife about if you feel a need to talk about it to someone, but don't, I repeat, DON'T expect her to keep you from breaking your promise. You're the one who made it, so you're the only one who's responsible.
Believe me, you'll feel much better about yourself if you do this through your own willpower rather than because your wife or your counselor are nagging you about it constantly.

"You can do it!!"

 

[Kingpen]

Don't put your marraige before games.... if she lets you play as much as you seem to lead on, then value it.... But spend some vacation time with her at least. i would say spend 10 of those days with her, and 4 on yourself with WOW

Like in my situation, I have an awesome wife that has issues with how much I am addicted to games. She understands though, and lets me play when I want. I know when to draw the line though on it becoming too much as well. I also don't buy games I know she isn't going to tolorate like DOAX2 (if I were single, I would have it)....

Just try to recognize all that she probably has given you in terms of your gaming habits, and realize that there is a line to draw...

She will leave you eventually if you don't recognize this....

 

[Ryu]

I went through a similar problem. For awhile, WoW was a nice fit for me to avoid some serious things happening in my life (mostly deaths in the family) and it was the only way I knew how to cope. Then one day a couple of months ago I just realized every goal I had in the game was meaningless and that there would be no end in sight. Everything I "earned" was never mine to begin with and the only thing I had lost was money and time in my life - two luxuries people try their entire lives to gain and I had squandered them both for 1's and 0's. After that, I sharded all my tier 3 gear, sent the shards to the guild bank, said my goodbyes, deleted the character and moved on with my life. Haven't looked back since.

It's one thing to realize the problem, another to act on it, and another to continue with stopping it. Just imagine how your wife would feel if you approached her with the time and care like you approach a videogame...

 

[sky]

To the OP: Do you actually want to quit?

Or are you just saying it because you know you play alot, and think cutting down might be a fairly good idea? I think it's an important distinction. If you don't really think your life is taking a negative turn because of your gaming, and you don't truly want to quit... you won't. It's like smoking, or anything else.

Either way, you should let others around you know that you are trying to quit. Let them help you. Have someone you can call or hang out with when you get a craving to play. Don't just quit without a plan, replace your playing time with something else concrete.

 

[echoshifting]

-Check out Olganon. Battling addiction is incredibly difficult without the proper support structure. If you really want to completely QUIT a 12-step program is probably not a bad idea. Their site is a little messed up right now but it's a good organization.

-Get on a regular sleep schedule and STICK TO IT. Use Diphenhydramine-based sleeping pills if you need to. Do not sleep in, even on the weekends.

-Consider seeing a therapist to assess your general mental health. You don't have to mention online gaming, but it's probably a good idea to find out if you are clinically depressed or if you have other behavioral issues that could be inhibiting your ability to recover.

-If you want to regulate your playtime instead of completely stop, have a friend (or your spouse) lock out your account via parental controls. Let them establish a password on the Blizzard website and have them block out your account so it can only be accessed during certain hours of the day. This can also be useful if you want to stop but you can't let your account go: just have this person make your account inaccessible at all hours of the day.

-Find something else you enjoy doing as much or more than playing online games, preferably something with a social element, and preferably NOT other video games. Other nerdy stuff would be okay. Take up Warhammer; paint models! Read. Start exercising. Join a board game club. Etc.

Good luck. You can do it!

 

[firex]

I just recently discovered something with WoW that's pretty awesome. There's a parental controls thing within account management where you can set the times you can play. Just use that and limit yourself to like 3 hours a day or something.

 

[bjork]

How can you be addicted to "hit rat for xp, get thread and weave a skirt, fetch this book by hitting more rats and skeletons"?

 

[Eiolon]

Thanks for the comments and advice everyone. Perhaps I will look at getting some professional help.

There's tons of backstory that I could fill you in with to help you better understand but I'll save it for the shrink.

 

[Jenov]

This may be a good time to wean yourself off, and start playing Oblivion.

I can say this: After you play Oblivion (being able to save and walk away at any time) and complete the Dark Brotherhood line of quests, you will think that you have never played a better video game ever in your life.

The problem is you just don't understand. For a guy in this position.. something like Oblivion would not catch his attention. Playing that game he would be bored out of his mind, and I'm really not joking. You could buy him a 360 and the game yourself, give it to him, and I garuntee you 100% he won't play it more than like an hour.

 

[Jenov]

Thanks for the comments and advice everyone. Perhaps I will look at getting some professional help.

There's tons of backstory that I could fill you in with to help you better understand but I'll save it for the shrink.

I was an extreme addict to wow dude and I'm just going to tell you the ****ing truth.

You have to stop cold turkey, and when you do, you will always want to go back. I haven't played WoW for 18 months.. I even remember the DATE that I quit, it's ****ing pathetic. And I STILL WANT TO PLAY TO THIS DAY.

Time will go slow for you, it will go really slow, and you MUST find other activities to do. You MUST find things to fill in that void that WoW was created into. You have to stop, and you have to hold out. You have to delete your characters, get rid of your subscription....

And the one most important thing that you MUST do to break the habit..... complete cut off all contact with your friends on there. Do NOT leave a goodbye note, do not tell any special friends that you're outta there, do not do any of that...

Log off one day like it's a normal thing, delete your shit, and don't touch it. Don't contact them through AIM, or anything else. You must get rid of it, or it will literally own you forever. Even when the game dies, Blizzard will be well prepared with a new one.

Get off now or you're ****ed. And holy shit you're ****ing married, you MUST stop now.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

The problem is you just don't understand. For a guy in this position.. something like Oblivion would not catch his attention. Playing that game he would be bored out of his mind, and I'm really not joking. You could buy him a 360 and the game yourself, give it to him, and I garuntee you 100% he won't play it more than like an hour.

Eh, I managed to log about 30 hours into Oblivion while playing WoW. I wouldn't say it made me hate WoW so much as realize how they were both stupid.

My advice is to not try and go pure cold turkey. There's no reason to delete your characters or sell your gaming rig. Just realize that you don't need to be playing and the fact that there isn't much point to in the first place should float to the surface.

 

[Jenov]

Eh, I managed to log about 30 hours into Oblivion while playing WoW. I wouldn't say it made me hate WoW so much as realize how they were both stupid.

My advice is to not try and go pure cold turkey. There's no reason to delete your characters or sell your gaming rig. Just realize that you don't need to be playing and the fact that there isn't much point to in the first place should float to the surface.

Yeah see you obviously weren't addicted.. lol

 

[Son of Godzilla]

Yeah see you obviously weren't addicted.. lol

Sarcasm? I can't really tell. I was very much addicted btw.

 

[Eiolon]

The problem is you just don't understand. For a guy in this position.. something like Oblivion would not catch his attention. Playing that game he would be bored out of his mind, and I'm really not joking. You could buy him a 360 and the game yourself, give it to him, and I garuntee you 100% he won't play it more than like an hour.

You are 100% completely right. I cannot stand a game that does not have online play and communication. I used to be a hardcore console guy from Atari to the N64. Once I got my hands on the original Diablo I was pretty much done with consoles (though I did have a DC for PSO).

 

[Piscopink]

The problem is you just don't understand. For a guy in this position.. something like Oblivion would not catch his attention. Playing that game he would be bored out of his mind, and I'm really not joking. You could buy him a 360 and the game yourself, give it to him, and I garuntee you 100% he won't play it more than like an hour.

Play Oblivion on the PC!

It will feel like logging in. It will have better graphics. It will have a huge open-ended world with amazing landscapes. It will have quests, and swords, and armor upgrades.

And it will have the ability to save the game and walk away. WoW does not.

I haven't played an MMO since.

 

[Piscopink]

This thread should be moved, btw. :lol

 

[rs7k]

LOL, I thought this was about gambling, something I definitely could have related to.

But if you need help with a video game, well God help you. :lol :lol

Spoiler

I don't mean to be a complete dick, but being 'addicted' to video games is a huge insult to people with real addictions. Just distract yourself doing something else, go on a vacation without touching anything electronic, go to the gym etc. The first step is realizing how absurd being "addicted" to online gaming is and then walk away and go grab a beer or something.

 

[Stoney Mason]

You are 100% completely right. I cannot stand a game that does not have online play and communication. I used to be a hardcore console guy from Atari to the N64. Once I got my hands on the original Diablo I was pretty much done with consoles (though I did have a DC for PSO).

I think that's part of your problem. I love console games for the very fact that they do end. Just like a movie or a book or anything a videogame has natural time to end itself. Games that artificially pad that by making a game "never end" strike me as tedious and ultimately rather pointless. The very fact that once people hit a level cap in MMORPG's and yet continue to do the things that probably got boring 15 levels ago boggles my mind. But like I say I know people love these games but I always wonder why. Is it the social element? I would think it would have to be because the actual combat and running around the world strike me as nothing special. Perhaps its getting attached to a character you spend so much time with... Not sure...


Either way I would suggest console games as a way to ween yourself away. I think the best game for you to be playing if you want to continue playing games are ones that actually end so you get closure. Just my two cents.

Or like I said, maybe play online games that end in bursts. Like FPS's or RTS's. At least they also have endings in a sense that a match is either won or lost.

 

[Steriletom]

Just in case you don't manage to quit...

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=online+divorce+advice&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

 

[Stoney Mason]

Spoiler

I don't mean to be a complete dick, but being 'addicted' to video games is a huge insult to people with real addictions. Just distract yourself doing something else, go on a vacation without touching anything electronic, go to the gym etc. The first step is realizing how absurd being "addicted" to online gaming is and then walk away and go grab a beer or something.

I sort of hear you but then I think a lot of other "REAL" addictions sound just as lame to me when I hear people talk about them. The obvious advice is just to not do that thing. Easier said than done in certain cases. To the individual as long as they give it an honest go to stop something I tend to be sympathetic. Like I say, I hear you that some addictions are more dangerous than others but an addiction tends to be because a person is lacking in some area and that can manifest itself in many different ways.

 

[Learn2read]

I think that's part of your problem. I love console games for the very fact that they do end. Just like a movie or a book or anything a videogame has natural time to end itself. Games that artificially pad that by making a game "never end" strike me as tedious and ultimately rather pointless. The very fact that once people hit a level cap in MMORPG's and yet continue to do the things that probably got boring 15 levels ago boggles my mind. But like I say I know people love these games but I always wonder why. Is it the social element? I would think it would have to be because the actual combat and running around the world strike me as nothing special. Perhaps its getting attached to a character you spend so much time with... Not sure...


Either way I would suggest console games as a way to ween yourself away. I think the best game for you to be playing if you want to continue playing games are ones that actually end so you get closure. Just my two cents.

Or like I said, maybe play online games that end in bursts. Like FPS's or RTS's. At least they also have endings in a sense that a match is either won or lost.

I think it's the "if I play just 30 more minutes I'll get x more exp, or x loot" etc that keeps people coming back, much moreso than the need to establish a social life they can't get in real life. IMO, the fact that the experience is a social one online does give these addictive "accomplishments" a sense of legitimacy though.

 

[Nicktals]

Christ, dude, don't listen to some of the guys in this thread. They're partly right, you DO have a problem, but you're not ill, and you don't need counseling. You have a small character flaw, and this obsession you have with online gaming is the way it manifests. All you need to do is realize you have a problem (you did), make a decision, and hold yourself to it.

Limit yourself to a set amount of gaming time per week. Make plans for a vacation with your wife. You don't have to change your entire lifestyle, games aren't drugs that require you to stop enjoying them completely to recover your humanity, or something.

Again, make your decision, and stick with it; tell your wife about if you feel a need to talk about it to someone, but don't, I repeat, DON'T expect her to keep you from breaking your promise. You're the one who made it, so you're the only one who's responsible.
Believe me, you'll feel much better about yourself if you do this through your own willpower rather than because your wife or your counselor are nagging you about it constantly.

That seems like bad advice. He said he's deleted all his characters, everything. He's tried this on his own. Some people don't have the willpower (myself included) to get rid of addictions. Also, if you have an addiction, you never "just cut back". You stop. You may not stop cold turkey, but I can't think of any situation where you have an addiction to something, and then after being treated, you still have contact with that something.

I don't mean to be a complete dick, but being 'addicted' to video games is a huge insult to people with real addictions. Just distract yourself doing something else, go on a vacation without touching anything electronic, go to the gym etc. The first step is realizing how absurd being "addicted" to online gaming is and then walk away and go grab a beer or something.

I've had a real addiction, and I don't find it insulting. Anytime something starts controlling your life, whether it's drugs, booze, videogames, it's a serious addiction. And there's no shame in seeking help.

 

[bill0527]

If its as serious as you claim to be, then you need to be a man about it.

Unplug your computer from the wall, take it out back, and destroy it with a sledgehammer. That'll pretty much end your addiction right there if you've got no way to play the game.

Unfortunately though, its just not that easy sometimes. You probably have an addictive personality like I do. If you're the type that gets addicted to things easily, your addiction will just transfer to something else once WoW is gone for good.

First thing you should do is admit to your wife, what you just admitted to a couple hundred strangers on a message board. Then explain to her that you have an addiction and you need her advice and help.

 

[rs7k]

I sort of hear you but then I think a lot of other "REAL" addictions sound just as lame to me when I hear people talk about them. The obvious advice is just to not do that thing. Easier said than done in certain cases. To the individual as long as they give it an honest go to stop something I tend to be sympathetic. Like I say, I hear you that some addictions are more dangerous than others but an addiction tends to be because a person is lacking in some area and that can manifest itself in many different ways.

You could also say some people have personalities that seem to feed on addiction. I was addicted to online gambling, and the potential rewards were really good, so it was hard to quit. Smoking for me was a bitch and a half. I've quit for 5 months now, after trying for two years. Drinking was surprisingly easy. What's happened to me is that those addictions were very costly and I didn't want to support them anymore.

For drinking, I gave my driver's license away to someone who moved to another city. I can't get into a bar now (yay!). For smoking I used nicotine patches and tons of perseverance.

I can relate more to the OP in terms of the online gambling. An addict will find a way no matter what. I used to block myself from sites all the time, but how easy is it to get a new username? Eventually poker sites started tracking credit card numbers, so I quit for a bit, then got another CC. I decided to quit when I maxed out my new CC in 3 hours ($1500) and lost it all. That was a low point for sure, to lose that much money to some online guy overseas. Three weeks later, I decided to play again, so I put $20 in, and I was rationally able to make all the money I lost from gambling ever, and then some. I don't know how I did it, but doing that was enough for me to permanently quit. That was last year.

If the OP fails to control his online gaming, even after trying, he shouldn't despair. By failing each time, you'll just feel more guilty and you'll eventually go longer and longer without periods of play. If you're truly ****ed, then go see a psychiatrist. If you asked me for a diagnosis, I'd say OCD, but I'm no doctor.

Wow, long ass post. In a way, we can all relate to his problems considering we're always on GAF :lol

 

[Ramirez]

I don't mean to be a complete dick, but being 'addicted' to video games is a huge insult to people with real addictions. Just distract yourself doing something else, go on a vacation without touching anything electronic, go to the gym etc. The first step is realizing how absurd being "addicted" to online gaming is and then walk away and go grab a beer or something.

That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard on here.It might seem stupid to you,yet I find it stupid that people could get addicted to cigs or gambling,it's all in how much someone really enjoys doing whatever activity their addicted to,whatever it may be.None are anymore stupid than the other really.

 

[epik]

I conquered my addiction to WoW by selling the account for 600 dollars of cash. Now I havent played a mmorpg or practically anything on the pc in almost a year now.

I hardly even touch my 360.