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[bill0527]

Holy shit, wow. You didn't keep that job, did you?

I did until I found a better job a few months later. I wasn't even reprimanded or anything. I had to have a conference call with people at the corporate office explaining what happened. First question they asked me - why didn't I call the store manager to come unlock the door? I told them it was because she told all of us assistant managers not to call her if we locked the keys in the office because she wasn't going to come help.

That immediately took all the heat off me and the store manager ended up getting in trouble over the whole incident.

 

[jstevenson]

Okay I'm more interested in this part of your story than the rest of it, spill the beans!

same!

 

[DR3AM]

i ordered supplies from a shady company. pens, paper clips, note pads and other crap, after 2 weeks we get 8 huge boxes full of supplies and a week later we get an invoice of $4500. FML

 

[Khalifa Jayy]

I work at a bank, and we deal with a lot of merchants/business owners at our specific branch. My co-worker was asked to withdraw and deposit [transfer, in other words] about ~$400k from one business owner's savings account to her checking account to cover payroll for that weekend. He withdrew it and desposited into the same account and neither of them realized til Wednesday of next week when she had over three pages of fees. Yikes. Reversing those, crediting all the stores who cashed checks, etc. It took over a month and a half to fix everything.

 

[Zwei]

I used to work in retail, and I (on more than one occasion) forgot to order restocking shipments.

oh shit, I was supposed to order a truck TODAY?!

 

[siddx]

Got a coworker pregnant. Wasn't dating her, she had a boyfriend back east, and she was crazier than a motherfucker. Ended up leading to me losing my job.

 

[pompidu]

Got a coworker pregnant. Wasn't dating her, she had a boyfriend back east, and she was crazier than a motherfucker. Ended up leading to me losing my job.

From your Stripper thread?
Meant strip club

 

[BertramCooper]

Got a coworker pregnant. Wasn't dating her, she had a boyfriend back east, and she was crazier than a motherfucker. Ended up leading to me losing my job.

How did the Maury taping go?

 

[shira]

not me, but cutting the head off a 21 week old baby /thread
Its the gaborn thread

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=448297

 

[DualShadow]

not me, but cutting the head off a 21 week old baby /thread

WTF.....

 

[siddx]

From your Stripper thread?
Meant strip club

lol yes sir. I still have dreams once in a while where she'll suddenly pop into my dream and berate me for a while before I go back to killing zombies, flying spaceships, pulling a Rambo on some aliens or whatever other random dream I'm having. One minute i'm sniping a swarm of zombies from an old run down shack in the woods, the next she's yelling in my ear about what a loser I am while I gently remind her I am the only reason she isn't zombie food.

 

[Bentendo]

not me, but cutting the head off a 21 week old baby /thread

Um... am I reading this right?

 

[Dr.Horrible]

I worked in corporate security at a bank and part of my job was to review fraudulent transactions and obtain video of said fraudulent transactions so we could file police reports. In one instance I failed to match up the tape and the transaction correctly and ID'd the wrong person. It just so happen an officer we worked with knew the girl (teenager) and went right to her mom. This caused the mom to question the girl and resulted in a big fight and the teenager took off from home for a bit (not more than a day I don't think). Of course it gets back to me, I double check the tape and go "OH SHIT!".

I had to come clean to my bosses about my fuck up as well as the police and mother. I then had to right an apology letter which was sent to the family along with a $100 gift card to the mall (bank paid for it, not me).

It sucked, but me being upfront about it and being a very good employee overall helped save my ass.

 

[CrankyJay]

Biggest fuck up? Made a variable in C++ for some temperature reading an unsigned int ... nothing thinking that temperatures can go negative. This was for a military application. I got shit for a month or two after that. Visited an airforce base a few months later "Oh, so you're that guy who made this an unsigned int." /facepalm

None of our testing showed this error because we were in warmer temperatures, and my code is reviewed by at least 4 other people, so an entire team fucked up I guess. But as soon as the device went in subzero temps we got the call.

 

[Jokergrin]

I was an assistant manager at a bookstore and was told by my store manager that if I ever locked my store keys in the office to not call her because she lived 45 minutes from the store and would not drive in to unlock anything. She said to call a locksmith and pay for it out of our own pocket if it happened.

So I locked my keys in the office. It was one of those doors that automatically locks behind you so it was easy to do. I didn't call her, instead decided to crawl up into the ceiling and remove some of the ceiling tiles and drop down into the office like some James Bond shit. While crawling through the ceiling, I hit a weak ceiling support right over the men's bathroom and crashed through. I damn near ripped 2 fingers off my left hand and busted my ankle because I landed directly in a sink in the men's bathroom and the force of me falling knocked the sink off the wall and then the bathroom flooded.

Cost the company about 8k to fix the ceiling and bathroom plus my workman's comp for a month. It took 20 stitches and then a months worth of rehab to get my fingers working again, plus my ankle, plus having to pay my salary for a month while I was off work.

LOL!!!!!

You win thread.

You are like that youtube crook that falls through the ceiling

 

[PackerinMN]

Got drunk before working security at a Guster concert in college... we mutually agreed that I resign. Not exactly a high point in my college days, I learned a valuable lesson.

 

[Osiris]

Okay I'm more interested in this part of your story than the rest of it, spill the beans!

I left it out because it's unfortunately kinda boring, simply put it was a fairly small dept. Only myself and my boss were qualified and experienced enough to run the systems there and we didn't run the usual 24 hour shift most mainframes ran for, instead we ran the systems for 7am to 7pm coverage, with one of us on early shift and the other on lates with us overlapping during business hours, hence the nightly shutdown.

My boss then had health problems leading to a heart bypass and I found myself with an extended period of 12 hr days / 72 hour weeks as I singlehandly had to cover both shifts. It was during this time the 'accident' occurred so I already had some "understanding" from management about work / stress levels etc. This was compounded by the fact that I was the only person who knew the systems at all on the premises, so was, quite literally, unreplaceable. even a contractor being brought in would only know the hardware and OS, and that alone wasn't enough to run a departments whole mainframe and systems. (Systems as in the whole from a business perspective, rather than just the IT / Software etc.). They wanted rid of me, work environment was hostile and uncomfortable for quite a time after, they just couldn't do anything about it.

I'll bet after I left they never made the mistake of being utterly reliant on a single individual again, that's for sure.

 

[CrankyJay]

One more fuck up...when I was 16 I was working at a Wegmans supermarket in the dairy department. Somehow I landed the closing shift for a Superbowl. A few of my friends showed up mid shift and convinced me to skip out of work. When you close a department you need to make sure all the shelves are full of product and neatly ordered.

The next day at work my boss called me on the phone and chewed me out, said if I ever let the department looking like that ever again I was gone. Whoops. It was completely my fault. I felt bad for all the extra work my co-workers had to do in the morning to make up for my bullshit.

 

[The Outsider]

I work as a projectionist, and I dropped a print of the newest Harry Potter as I was trying to move it around. It took about three hours to put back together, and fortunately, it happened after all showings were ran so I was just there until 3 in the morning fixing it. Found out the next day that one of the reels I put back on trying to fix it was upside down, so we had a few unhappy customers during the first show the next morning. Someone else fixed it pretty easily though, fortunately.

I also accidentally scratched a print of Cowboys and Aliens. We had to order another print, which ran us a couple grand, I think. I didn't have to pay anything for it myself, they just kinda made me feel bad about it. Movie sucked anyway, so I still say I was doing a favor to everyone.

 

[FairyD]

Got drunk before working security at a Guster concert in college... we mutually agreed that I resign. Not exactly a high point in my college days, I learned a valuable lesson.

The key to hiding being drunk is to stay as quiet as possible until you sober up.

 

[jchap]

I had a high-voltage transmission line insulated with transformer oil decompress due to a flaw in my seal design while in a high vacuum bell jar dumping 10 gallons of oil into a $100k turbomolecular pump. I smelled like transformer oil for weeks fixing that pump.

 

[TurtleSnatcher]

Got mad at my boss for not including me on emails and asked him why he wasn't including me on that conversation.

Me walking to his office and sitting down.. he turned around and heard my rant.

Yet as I was walking over and sitting down.. he had sent the emails to me. I felt like an ass

 

[LProtag]

I'm a substitute teacher. So far none of the kids under my watch have physically wounded each other so I guess I haven't screwed up completely yet.

I have gotten real sarcastic, more so than I should, to some kids though. They were totally misbehaving though so it wasn't like they could call me out on anything as I was being pretty lenient with them.

 

[PackerinMN]

The key to hiding being drunk is to stay as quiet as possible until you sober up.

Yeah, I can't remember exactly what gave me away, but I think it had to do with me talking too much.

 

[bathala]

First job

Co-workers shortcutting work. Didn't report it


Fired

 

[Jme]

Working tech support, a person called in with some email client issues. One of the basic troubleshooting steps for this particular email client was to delete and re-add the account. However, this client also deletes any off-line emails (stored locally on the computer) without warning when this happens, and it was my job to walk the customer through making a copy of her offline database. A step I would later realize I forgot.
After we re-add her account, she asks "where are my emails" and it dawns on me. Oh fuck. After some double checking I realized I had to tell her it's all gone, sorry. (And really, there is no way to recover it, and no warning, it's just poof, gone with the click of a button... a glaring design flaw in my opinion but whatever.)
She tears into me, about how this was her personal business email address, and I just lost 5 years of her emails with customers and contacts. Five years of her hard work, gone because I forgot to have her move a folder. I felt sick to my stomach. I got written up like 3 times (from my boss, his, and the poor 3rd level tech that her call got escalated to.)

I still feel bad.

 

[MIMIC]

I'm a substitute teacher. So far none of the kids under my watch have physically wounded each other so I guess I haven't screwed up completely yet.

I have gotten real sarcastic, more so than I should, to some kids though. They were totally misbehaving though so it wasn't like they could call me out on anything as I was being pretty lenient with them.

Oh, I'm sarcastic with my kids all the time. lol But I've quickly learned that 5th graders do NOT understand sarcasm at ALL. It confused me when they thought I was being serious.

As for the worst thing I've done: I completely forgot to show up one day (I posted about it, lol). I apologized and nothing has come of it.

 

[Xevren]

I work as a projectionist, and I dropped a print of the newest Harry Potter as I was trying to move it around. It took about three hours to put back together, and fortunately, it happened after all showings were ran so I was just there until 3 in the morning fixing it. Found out the next day that one of the reels I put back on trying to fix it was upside down, so we had a few unhappy customers during the first show the next morning. Someone else fixed it pretty easily though, fortunately.

I also accidentally scratched a print of Cowboys and Aliens. We had to order another print, which ran us a couple grand, I think. I didn't have to pay anything for it myself, they just kinda made me feel bad about it. Movie sucked anyway, so I still say I was doing a favor to everyone.

At least what you dropped was somewhat big to move. I've had some of my projectionists drop the smallest shit. Last year one dropped Fighting, thing was super small.

 

[kittens]

I worked at Gamestop for a few months in the summer of 2006, but got fired for accidentally leaving the register open.

I was better off.

 

[Wads]

Sounds like we have similar jobs, OP, other than the fact the I mostly code in SAS.

Not my current job, but I once deleted all the Purchase Orders in the application I supported for my first job. I forgot the where clause which created a huge problem. No purchase orders meant nobody could place an order with out system. Took most of the rest of the day and the entirety of my team to clean up my mess.

 

[balddemon]

I worked at a gym until two mondays ago...here's 2 of the reasons why I don't work there anymore

1. long story but I pissed in a water bottle and left it at the gym....that's like the big kahuna.

2. I had a key to the gym, and since we're closed overnights on friday and saturday, i thought it'd be a good idea to fuck my girlfriend there...it was a great idea. until my drunk ass left the doors unlocked and the guy who opened that morning told the manager who got pissed lol.

so now i'm unemployed woo

 

[The Outsider]

At least what you dropped was somewhat big to move. I've had some of my projectionists drop the smallest shit. Last year one dropped Fighting, thing was super small.

It just crumbled as I was trying to drop it down to a lower platter. I was in shock for a good minute. What a mess.

 

[BakedPigeon]

We had this smoking hot trainer at work and she was a bit of a feminist.

She came over to my cube and asked "I need a count of all our employees."

I turned the monitor her way and said "Sure. Here it is."

I proceeded to type in the SQL

select count (*) from EMPLOYEE

except I forgot the "o" in count.

lol thats pretty good shit right there.

alright so my first job i had i was going to fart on one of my fellow co workers as a joke, but instead i sharted! true story had to have my mom bring me some extra underpants haha

you got issues buddy.

 

[789shadow]

I start my first job tomorrow, so I'll get back to you.

 

[APerfectCircle]

2 of mine. I was managing a team in finance company working with insolvency.

1st one- i had to schedule a meeting with someone from an old department i worked with. So i talked to them over same time (msn like internal IM program). They said yep sure, see you in 5 mins. This person was a pretty crazy woman who was super rude, not too cute and just unpleasent. Me and my friends in my old department had nicknamed her "caveman" which i know was mean, but office is full of this shit. I went to IM my friend "Got a meeting in 5 mins with caveman, wish me luck". I sent it to the wrong person, that being said "Caveman". I managed to get out of it, but when i noticed, my whole head just went into meltdown.

2nd one- Im not sure how serious this was, because i had quick and was 2 weeks from leaving when i found out. We had to deal with a lot of insolvency reports of diff kinds, and we had a small team so couldnt work everything. I was told we wernt working a certain file due to time constraints. That file contained about 2 million dollars of account. My manager knew about it, but then one day she told me that senior management had brought up how pleased they were with the decrease in insolvency figures of approximately 2.5 million dollars for the quarter. I'm glad i left before i found out what consequence that could have had.

 

[Bernbaum]

I had sex with a coworker.

This is a bad one to make because it's not a standalone incident and can come back to bite you in the arse later on at any stage in your career.

It's also common as hell.

-

In addition to the above, the incident I felt worst about was when I was working in a Cafe and showed up to work hungover/still drunk. Emptied my guts into a rubbish bin in the kitchen right near where food was being prepared. Very surprised/lucky I didn't get fired.

 

[Giard]

Worked in a warehouse, we basically had to go around in aisles filling boxes (I called it grocery shopping) and print out stickers to stick on each box so that the client would know what items were in every box.

Basically I switched the stickers so the first box was actually the last box of items...not a huge mistake as all the items got to the right client anyways, but the boss was still pretty mad.

More of an accident than a fuckup, but in that same warehouse, employees could buy stuff and have their orders prepared on shelves besides the exit doors. One guy ordered a bucket of chlorine, and the only space left on the shelf was the top one. I'm a pretty small guy, so I had to lift the bucket overhead to put it on the top shelf. There was a small crack on the bottom of the bucket, and some powdered chlorine went straight into my eye. Burned like hell.

I went to the hospital afterwards. I live in Quebec, so usually when you go to the emergency ward, you have to wait about 5 hours. There were about 20 people already waiting, yet I only waited 10 minutes till the doctor saw me. I got some angry stares when I stood up...

 

[BakedPigeon]

I saw concrete, mostly freeways. The saw blades we use are very expensive because there are diamonds inside of the segments (teeth) of the blade, to help cut the concrete. You need to have water going to the blades or else they will burn up.

Anyways, one day I put a brand new head (6 blades) on my saw and flipped my water on and proceeded to make my cut, without realizing I never started the honda pump, which provides pressure to help the water move through the hose and the saw I ended up burning all the blades up quicker then I could realize what had happened. Were talking like $30,000 worth of blades. Needless to say my boss was not pleased.

 

[oneils]

Worked in a warehouse, we basically had to go around in aisles filling boxes (I called it grocery shopping) and print out stickers to stick on each box so that the client would know what items were in every box.

Basically I switched the stickers so the first box was actually the last box of items...not a huge mistake as all the items got to the right client anyways, but the boss was still pretty mad.

More of an accident than a fuckup, but in that same warehouse, employees could buy stuff and have their orders prepared on shelves besides the exit doors. One guy ordered a bucket of chlorine, and the only space left on the shelf was the top one. I'm a pretty small guy, so I had to lift the bucket overhead to put it on the top shelf. There was a small crack on the bottom of the bucket, and some powdered chlorine went straight into my eye. Burned like hell.

I went to the hospital afterwards. I live in Quebec, so usually when you go to the emergency ward, you have to wait about 5 hours. There were about 20 people already waiting, yet I only waited 10 minutes till the doctor saw me. I got some angry stares when I stood up...

From what I understand, eye problems will get you through right away. There is usually an eye-doctor on call who will be around to make sure you aren't going blind. Unless all the other people waiting had an issue with their eyes, you weren't really jumping ahead of them. Of course, they don't know that...I guess.

 

[gate777]

Worked at a supermarket when I was younger. During a super busy saturday, we had canola oil on sale and it was flying off the shelves. I was in charge of the displays, the ones at the front and back of the aisles that have all the specials. Of course the lazy fucks in charge of the aisles didn't refill their specials so EVERYBODY was raping my display.

I couldn't keep up anymore so I said "fuck it". Now these diaplays have a very tall section of product along the back end with a smaller section right in front with product for people to take. I didn't refill it for 20m and the entire front section was completely gone leaving the full boxes in behind and it was stacked as tall as 5-6 metres.

People started ripping the lower boxes apart and taking oil from the lower column leaving the display teetering like Jenga. It didn't fall, but one customer decided to rip a bottle of canola from close to the bottom and the top popped off, soaking his shirt, pants and shoes in oil.

I laughed in his face once he brought me the half empty bottle. If it fell it probably would have crushed 10 customers and spread canola oil across the entire store like a flood.

 

[Anno]

Instead of sending an email to a coworker in another department who's name began with "All" I sent it to "All Lotus Notes Users". This is in a company of more than 11,000 employees. Later that afternoon there was actually a note on our intranet home advising everyone to disregard my email.

 

[LightOfTruth]

I was an assistant manager at a bookstore and was told by my store manager that if I ever locked my store keys in the office to not call her because she lived 45 minutes from the store and would not drive in to unlock anything. She said to call a locksmith and pay for it out of our own pocket if it happened.

So I locked my keys in the office. It was one of those doors that automatically locks behind you so it was easy to do. I didn't call her, instead decided to crawl up into the ceiling and remove some of the ceiling tiles and drop down into the office like some James Bond shit. While crawling through the ceiling, I hit a weak ceiling support right over the men's bathroom and crashed through. I damn near ripped 2 fingers off my left hand and busted my ankle because I landed directly in a sink in the men's bathroom and the force of me falling knocked the sink off the wall and then the bathroom flooded.

Cost the company about 8k to fix the ceiling and bathroom plus my workman's comp for a month. It took 20 stitches and then a months worth of rehab to get my fingers working again, plus my ankle, plus having to pay my salary for a month while I was off work.

Was gonna post my story but...damn dude. Thats awesome yet so terrible. You win the thread though.

 

[Slavik81]

Biggest fuck up? Made a variable in C++ for some temperature reading an unsigned int ... nothing thinking that temperatures can go negative. This was for a military application. I got shit for a month or two after that. Visited an airforce base a few months later "Oh, so you're that guy who made this an unsigned int." /facepalm

None of our testing showed this error because we were in warmer temperatures, and my code is reviewed by at least 4 other people, so an entire team fucked up I guess. But as soon as the device went in subzero temps we got the call.

Temperature can't go negative. Use Kelvin!

 

[beanoboy7]

having a child pass away on your case load. Not really a fuck up, but the agency treats it that way....

 

[makingmusic476]

Supposedly I threw away around $2000 in cash.

My district manager claimed I stole the money, my manager was all like "there's no way he could've done that!", and loss prevention were like "we know you took it!" And on top of that the district manager told the managers at all the other stores I was a thief.

Their theory was that I threw a deposit away so that I could come back three days later and pocket the money when taking out the trash. Trash is supposed to be taken out daily, but they said I knew the trash would still be there since I was the only one that ever bothered to take it out (using my good record as evidence of guilt, eh? >_>).

Their only real evidence was some blurry footage showing me tossing the deposit towards the safe (which is right next to the trashcan), then closing the safe and leaving. There were bags blocking most of the view of the trashcan, so it's hard to say if the deposit landed there instead of in the safe, but the deposit apparently never made it to the bank, so the money ended up going missing at some point.

This all happened a Saturday night when I had been forced to close the store by myself since the person working with me bailed two hours early, something that's never supposed to happen. I suppose I could've just been stressed out and fucked up.

Either way, I was like fuck this shit and quit. Telling everyone I'm a thief based on incredibly weak and purely circumstantial evidence. The job sucked anyway.

This was at GameStop. Lovely company.

 

[Hydrogen Bluebird]

I had sex with a coworker.

Now that is a fuck up.

Been wanting to try that out though.

 

[Eljay]

I'm a systems engineer, I manage lots of things but one mainly is Citrix with over 4,000 users. At midnight a few years ago I re-upped our farm licenses but it seems the license file was corrupted. I broke Citrix, 4,000 users and over 30 hosted applications, 5 of which are in scope (SOX compliance) and host financial information. 1 of those 5 processes over 5 billion dollars a year in transactions. Communication was sent to the CTO and CIO immediately the next morning and guess who they called next?

Yea, I didn't find out until 5am when my phone woke me up. Big big fucked and nothing can prepare you for that kind of a feeling that washes over you. My saving grace was that Citrix had provided me with a corrupted license file, being as I installed it properly.

I shut down a billion dollar company for several hours. Yikes indeed.

Its alright, I had to deal with Citrix for awhile when I worked at JPM and we had our share of outages that forced us into manual contingency mode. I was so glad the day we jettisoned the system for our own propriety system.

 

[pj]

When I was a shop technician at a ski shop, I once used screws that were too long while mounting bindings to an $800 pair of skis. 16 screws poking through the bottom. Luckily the grizzled old magician shop technician was able to fix them. Took a while to live that one down..

 

[iKeepPlaying]

Go on...

Not really...
The first one was okay, she was like 30 or something (I was 20) but the second one was like 65.
Back then, she was really nice to me, I mean, she was always very kind, at first I thought she saw me as her grandkid or something, but... yeah... I was naive back then and well, it just happened.

 

[BakedPigeon]

Supposedly I threw away around $2000 in cash.

My district manager claimed I stole the money, my manager was all like "there's no way he could've done that!", and loss prevention were like "we know you took it!" And on top of that the district manager told the managers at all the other stores I was a thief.

Their theory was that I threw a deposit away so that I could come back three days later and pocket the money when taking out the trash. Trash is supposed to be taken out daily, but they said I knew the trash would still be there since I was the only one that ever bothered to take it out (using my good record as evidence of guilt, eh? >_>).

Their only real evidence was some blurry footage showing me tossing the deposit towards the safe (which is right next to the trashcan), then closing the safe and leaving. There were bags blocking most of the view of the trashcan, so it's hard to say if the deposit landed there instead of in the safe, but the deposit apparently never made it to the bank, so the money ended up going missing at some point.

This all happened a Saturday night when I had been forced to close the store by myself since the person working with me bailed two hours early, something that's never supposed to happen. I suppose I could've just been stressed out and fucked up.

Either way, I was like fuck this shit and quit. Telling everyone I'm a thief based on incredibly weak and purely circumstantial evidence. The job sucked anyway.

This was at GameStop. Lovely company.

I just had a really crappy experience with gamestop. I bought a used/refurbished 360 from them, before I bought it I asked the employee if he could break the seal so I could examine the unit and just make sure it is what i want. I'm not a picky person but I like my hardware to look nice, no scratches or anything. He agreed, I ended up buying the 360. A couple days later I went to return it because it was making noises and shit that freaked me out. I had to battle for twenty minutes before they would give me my cash back, even with a receipt, even with the fact that the employee was the one who broke the seal inside the store before my purchase, even within the 7 day time period. That company is just fucked up and ill never shop there again.