(I should preface this story by saying I was born in the States, but my parents are African immigrants. I grew up in a nearly all white neighborhood.)
I was about 5 or 6 or so and my mother was watching some court proceedings on TV. I wandered into the living room while a lawyer was speaking about an ongoing case.
"The defendant proceeded to use the 'n-word' several times while interacting with the plaintiff."
My mom shut off the TV when she realized I was listening.
"What's the 'n-word'? I asked.
My mother didn't meet my gaze and ignored me.
"Go play." she said.
Later my older brother told me about the word nigger, and what it used to be used for.
As a kid who loved making new friends, I was very confused about how someone could apparently dislike me without getting to know me first, or insult me because my skin was brown. I remembered that the kids at school were fascinated by my hair and always wanted to touch it, and they would look at the palms of my hands and ask me why they weren't the same color.
"If I flipped you upside down I could clean the floor!", one kid used to say.
Even when I heard those things before it never dawned on me until that moment that I was different from them, and they had all clearly noticed. I then understood that I was black and the whole world would perceive me as such.
Kids are just curious though, I don't hold any ill will.
I was about 5 or 6 or so and my mother was watching some court proceedings on TV. I wandered into the living room while a lawyer was speaking about an ongoing case.
"The defendant proceeded to use the 'n-word' several times while interacting with the plaintiff."
My mom shut off the TV when she realized I was listening.
"What's the 'n-word'? I asked.
My mother didn't meet my gaze and ignored me.
"Go play." she said.
Later my older brother told me about the word nigger, and what it used to be used for.
As a kid who loved making new friends, I was very confused about how someone could apparently dislike me without getting to know me first, or insult me because my skin was brown. I remembered that the kids at school were fascinated by my hair and always wanted to touch it, and they would look at the palms of my hands and ask me why they weren't the same color.
"If I flipped you upside down I could clean the floor!", one kid used to say.
Even when I heard those things before it never dawned on me until that moment that I was different from them, and they had all clearly noticed. I then understood that I was black and the whole world would perceive me as such.
Kids are just curious though, I don't hold any ill will.