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[SF Kosmo]

Thought my wife was borderline, she even went to see a shrink once our marriage was going rough. Many tests, sessions and discussions later she got "luckily" tested for ADD and NPD.
What a combo...

Yeah there are a lot of people out there who have borderline traits or behavior patterns who aren't necessarily borderline. And these people are various degrees of livable.

I dated another woman for a bit who was diagnosed as having some but not all BPD markers. And those things made it really hard to date her and have been an issue in her subsequent relationships, but she's able to be normal to the other people in her life and has actually become a good friend. Her drama and dissatisfaction seem reserved just for whomever she is dating.

 

[Bartski]

I survived a BPD ex-fiancée who almost got me killed. One word: run

 

[Artoris]

had an ex with it and survived just

 

[Puscifer]

One day, we’ll be able to treat BPD, maybe with chemogenetic treatments like DREADDs. Until then, avoidance of BPD people is probably prudent.

It's treatable with behavioral therapy and can drastically reduce symptoms or full blown remission. I know because I went through it but the first step is like an addiction, you have to admit you have a problem and want to get help.

I ruined the best relationship I ever had once I started switching, but the thing is soon after I recognized the problem and sought help and started treatment, specifically dialectical behavioral therapy, to address the issue. The amount of things that are water off a ducks ass to me now is astronomical.

This thread depresses me reading like we're monsters and I get it, but I don't know what else to say other I'm sorry...

 

[Days like these...]

It's treatable with behavioral therapy and can drastically reduce symptoms or full blown remission. I know because I went through it but the first step is like an addiction, you have to admit you have a problem and want to get help.

I ruined the best relationship I ever had once I started switching, but the thing is soon after I recognized the problem and sought help and started treatment, specifically dialectical behavioral therapy, to address the issue. The amount of things that are water off a ducks ass to me now is astronomical.

This thread depresses me reading like we're monsters and I get it, but I don't know what else to say other I'm sorry...

How did you get past blaming everyone else for all your problems/failures and accept responsibility for your words and actions if you don't mind me asking because my ex pwBDP is perfect and infallible, nothing is, has been or will ever be her fault and at the same time she is a victim of everyone's jealousy, hatred and life being just plain "unfair".

 

[Puscifer]

How did you get past blaming everyone else for all your problems/failures and accept responsibility for your words and actions if you don't mind me asking because my ex pwBDP is perfect and infallible, nothing is, has been or will ever be her fault and at the same time she is a victim of everyone's jealousy, hatred and life being just plain "unfair".

Honestly that doesn't sound like BPD, that just sounds like immaturity and ego. The best video I can ever give someone in regards to what is like in the mind of a BPD person and dealing with them is this one I'll link below.

For me, like I said, BPD was like an addiction for me in that *I* had to be the one to recognize *MY PROBLEMS* and get the help for *MYSELF.* Additionally, and maybe this helped, but I was an IT contracter for the military and personal responsibility is a huge thing in your success there, and forcing that level of accountability onto me made me more disciplined as a result when I knew I had to answer for my work on an almost daily basis.

This video, holy shit, when I tell you that it's like someone dug into my personal life and just plastered it onto a YouTube video...

 

[Days like these...]

Honestly that doesn't sound like BPD, that just sounds like immaturity and ego. The best video I can ever give someone in regards to what is like in the mind of a BPD person and dealing with them is this one I'll link below.

For me, like I said, BPD was like an addiction for me in that *I* had to be the one to recognize *MY PROBLEMS* and get the help for *MYSELF.* Additionally, and maybe this helped, but I was an IT contracter for the military and personal responsibility is a huge thing in your success there, and forcing that level of accountability onto me on a daily basis is pretty crazy and I can say for sure humbled me and made me miss disciplined when I knew I had to answer for my work on an almost daily basis.

This video, holy shit, when I tell you that it's like someone dug into my personal life and just plastered it onto a YouTube a video...

I'm sure my ex also has NPD

 

[Days like these...]

Honestly that doesn't sound like BPD, that just sounds like immaturity and ego. The best video I can ever give someone in regards to what is like in the mind of a BPD person and dealing with them is this one I'll link below.

For me, like I said, BPD was like an addiction for me in that *I* had to be the one to recognize *MY PROBLEMS* and get the help for *MYSELF.* Additionally, and maybe this helped, but I was an IT contracter for the military and personal responsibility is a huge thing in your success there, and forcing that level of accountability onto me on a daily basis is pretty crazy and I can say for sure humbled me and made me miss disciplined when I knew I had to answer for my work on an almost daily basis.

This video, holy shit, when I tell you that it's like someone dug into my personal life and just plastered it onto a YouTube video...

Yeah that video describes her to a T.

 

[Puscifer]

Yeah that video describes her to a T.

Trust me, it was miserable. My brain could see what I was doing, I could recognize what I was thinking wasn't rational and I couldn't bring myself out of it and me, the person typing this, was taken over like I was possessed by something and I acted out for days and just wanted it to end but I couldn't.

Who wants to live like this? I don't get it. I had one incident and couldn't fathom wanting to go through it again let alone live like that full time. But that goes back to what I said, the person with BPD has to be the one to recognize that there is a problem and do something about it otherwise they'll just live with it.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

Honestly that doesn't sound like BPD, that just sounds like immaturity and ego. The best video I can ever give someone in regards to what is like in the mind of a BPD person and dealing with them is this one I'll link below.

For me, like I said, BPD was like an addiction for me in that *I* had to be the one to recognize *MY PROBLEMS* and get the help for *MYSELF.* Additionally, and maybe this helped, but I was an IT contracter for the military and personal responsibility is a huge thing in your success there, and forcing that level of accountability onto me made me more disciplined as a result when I knew I had to answer for my work on an almost daily basis.

This video, holy shit, when I tell you that it's like someone dug into my personal life and just plastered it onto a YouTube video...

Just watching a couple of clips of this and I noped out. Still got ptsd from this shit.

After that relationship, any hint of drama and I’d cut people out of my life instantly. Just not worth it.

 

[DeaDPo0L84]

Looking forward to the inevitable Netflix documentary detailing your death.

 

[Puscifer]

Just watching a couple of clips of this and I noped out. Still got ptsd from this shit.

After that relationship, any hint of drama and I’d cut people out of my life instantly. Just not worth it.

Trust me, when my psychologist IDd it and was describing what he saw it's kind a lightbulb went off and my life was never the same, for the better. Watching that clip alone, and I hate saying this, triggered the fuck out of me seeing how I came across to people.

Again, no clue how the hell anyone could ever recognize these problems in themselves and not ever want to do something about it.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

Trust me, when my psychologist IDd it and was describing what he saw it's kind a lightbulb went off and my life was never the same, for the better. Watching that clip alone, and I hate saying this, triggered the fuck out of me seeing how I came across to people.

Again, no clue how the hell anyone could ever recognize these problems in themselves and not ever want to do something about it.

Glad you figured it out and course corrected/are able to control it.

 

[Artoris]

Looking forward to the inevitable Netflix documentary detailing your death.

Be careful what you wish for it might be your door it might be knocking on next

 

[Grildon Tundy]

Honestly that doesn't sound like BPD, that just sounds like immaturity and ego. The best video I can ever give someone in regards to what is like in the mind of a BPD person and dealing with them is this one I'll link below.

For me, like I said, BPD was like an addiction for me in that *I* had to be the one to recognize *MY PROBLEMS* and get the help for *MYSELF.* Additionally, and maybe this helped, but I was an IT contracter for the military and personal responsibility is a huge thing in your success there, and forcing that level of accountability onto me made me more disciplined as a result when I knew I had to answer for my work on an almost daily basis.

My ex exhibited some of the behavior from that video. Stuff like taking hours to calm her down, constant drama, and her possibly faking a pregnancy to see how I'd respond--still not sure if that was legit or not but certain things make me think it wasn't (in hindsight). Anyway, she did a number on me and it's a big part of why I haven't been too interested in a long term relationship since.

 

[SF Kosmo]

It's treatable with behavioral therapy and can drastically reduce symptoms or full blown remission. I know because I went through it but the first step is like an addiction, you have to admit you have a problem and want to get help.

I ruined the best relationship I ever had once I started switching, but the thing is soon after I recognized the problem and sought help and started treatment, specifically dialectical behavioral therapy, to address the issue. The amount of things that are water off a ducks ass to me now is astronomical.

This thread depresses me reading like we're monsters and I get it, but I don't know what else to say other I'm sorry...

You did the right thing though, and that earns you a lot of credit and sympathy. And that was the crux of it for me, I had all the patience and empathy in the world but if someone knows and accepts their diagnosis, knows how they are hurting people and STILL refuses to get help, that's where it becomes their problem and no one else's. And unfortunately that is most people with BPD.

My wife also struggles with mental illness (Complex PTSD), and yeah there are times where she does or says some abusive shit as a result, but she owns it, we get through it, she works on it in therapy, and she takes accountability. And to me, that's not this huge strain on the relationship, we all slip up sometimes, right? It's totally different than someone who just does the same shit over and over with no remorse.

 

[LegendOfKage]

It's treatable with behavioral therapy and can drastically reduce symptoms or full blown remission. I know because I went through it but the first step is like an addiction, you have to admit you have a problem and want to get help.

I ruined the best relationship I ever had once I started switching, but the thing is soon after I recognized the problem and sought help and started treatment, specifically dialectical behavioral therapy, to address the issue. The amount of things that are water off a ducks ass to me now is astronomical.

This thread depresses me reading like we're monsters and I get it, but I don't know what else to say other I'm sorry...

This reminds me of a post I made during the Johnny Depp trial when someone was asking how can someone feel sorry for Amber Heard after everything she did. I explained my thoughts, but I also posted a video from someone working in the mental health field who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It's great that there's help people can actually get, and I'm happy for you that you found that help. It's sad that seeking help is probably far more the exception than the rule.

It doesn't help that so many in the media, even those who constantly claim to care about mental illness, barely talked about Amber Heard from that perspective. What could have been a great moment for education about BPD, and what WAS a great moment for education about BPD for those who actually watched the trial, was largely just ignored by the mainstream. I think society ultimately failed both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Depp still never really got his career back, and Heard no doubt will continue to hurt those around her and not seek help.

Anyhow, here's the post and the video:

How about the fact that if she does have borderline personality disorder, she could have a fear of abandonment so strong that it has warped her perception of reality to the point where the level of emotional pain and distress in her mind justifies her actions. I still absolutely think Johnny should win this case, of course. This video did a lot to change my view of the situation. It's understandable that people would hate Amber for the pain she's caused, but if literal mental illness is driving her to these actions, she needs help. And if she doesn't get that help, she's going to ruin the rest of her life, and many other friendships and relationships as well.

If she does have borderline personality disorder, the good news is that it can be treated.

 

[Days like these...]

This reminds me of a post I made during the Johnny Depp trial when someone was asking how can someone feel sorry for Amber Heard after everything she did. I explained my thoughts, but I also posted a video from someone working in the mental health field who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It's great that there's help people can actually get, and I'm happy for you that you found that help. It's sad that seeking help is probably far more the exception than the rule.

It doesn't help that so many in the media, even those who constantly claim to care about mental illness, barely talked about Amber Heard from that perspective. What could have been a great moment for education about BPD, and what WAS a great moment for education about BPD for those who actually watched the trial, was largely just ignored by the mainstream. I think society ultimately failed both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Depp still never really got his career back, and Heard no doubt will continue to hurt those around her and not seek help.

Anyhow, here's the post and the video:

It seems like you care more about pwBDP than for those of us who have suffered from their cruelty. I feel no empathy for a pwBPD or NPD who refuses to seek therapy

 

[Negotiator]

Tell her to try the ketogenic diet:

Can a Ketogenic Diet Help Treat Bipolar Disorder?

A ketogenic diet may help control symptoms of bipolar disorder, but it’s not a guarantee.

www.healthline.com

Can a ketogenic diet successfully treat Bipolar Disorder? - Chris Palmer, MD

Ketogenic diet. Bipolar disorder & Schizoaffective - Case studies ketogenic diet and bipolar disorder. Overlap in effective treatments with epilepsy

www.chrispalmermd.com

How the keto diet may ease depression in bipolar disorder and other mental health conditions

Dr. Dom D'Agostino, Dr. Iain Campbell, and Dr. Bret Scher discuss the therapeutic application of the keto diet and the future of metabolic psychiatry.

www.levelshealth.com

Free, no drugs, no toxic lithium...

I also had an ex with BPD, I wish I knew earlier.

 

[Days like these...]

Tell her to try the ketogenic diet:

Can a Ketogenic Diet Help Treat Bipolar Disorder?

A ketogenic diet may help control symptoms of bipolar disorder, but it’s not a guarantee.

www.healthline.com

Can a ketogenic diet successfully treat Bipolar Disorder? - Chris Palmer, MD

Ketogenic diet. Bipolar disorder & Schizoaffective - Case studies ketogenic diet and bipolar disorder. Overlap in effective treatments with epilepsy

www.chrispalmermd.com

How the keto diet may ease depression in bipolar disorder and other mental health conditions

Dr. Dom D'Agostino, Dr. Iain Campbell, and Dr. Bret Scher discuss the therapeutic application of the keto diet and the future of metabolic psychiatry.

www.levelshealth.com

Free, no drugs, no toxic lithium...

I also had an ex with BPD, I wish I knew earlier.

My ex has, I suspect from years of googling her behavior BPD and NPD not bipolar disorder but she's never sought a diagnosis. She would just blame me for literally everything wrong in her life, especially her fits of rage.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

My ex exhibited some of the behavior from that video. Stuff like taking hours to calm her down, constant drama, and her possibly faking a pregnancy to see how I'd respond--still not sure if that was legit or not but certain things make me think it wasn't (in hindsight). Anyway, she did a number on me and it's a big part of why I haven't been too interested in a long term relationship since.

Been there, brother. Took me 8 years plus, but you'll get there. I had already screwed up a couple of great relationships with great women because I didn't trust myself. I realized the woman interested in me at the time was awesome in all ways and hot, so wtf was wrong with me? It was me, not her, still didn't trust myself after the madness of the BPD relationship, didn't need to screw up another one because of some asshole. Still married, still happy as hell.

It seems like you care more about pwBDP than for those of us who have suffered from their cruelty. I feel no empathy for a pwBPD or NPD who refuses to seek therapy

I'm with you. Fuck people with BPD who don't disclose/don't try to actually get help. No one should get involved with someone with untreated BPD, period. They'll destroy your life.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

Weird timing with this discussion and Baby Reindeer, which I have not yet watched, but seems to be about someone with BPD destroying someone's life.

 

[SF Kosmo]

My ex has, I suspect from years of googling her behavior BPD and NPD not bipolar disorder but she's never sought a diagnosis. She would just blame me for literally everything wrong in her life, especially her fits of rage.

It's pretty common for BPD to be comorbid, they're in the same cluster and can be exacerbated by some of the same childhood experiences.

BPD people can sometimes get better with DBT and medication if they're motivated, but I have never heard of an NPD person get better, I kind of think they're just toxic garbage.

 

[SF Kosmo]

Weird timing with this discussion and Baby Reindeer, which I have not yet watched, but seems to be about someone with BPD destroying someone's life.

There's more going on with that woman than BPD. It could be part of it, but she seems like schizoeffective personality disorder to me, which manifests as a lot of obsessive delusion, and seems more consistent with the crazy texting and language issues seem more consistent with that.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

There's more going on with that woman than BPD. It could be part of it, but she seems like schizoeffective personality disorder to me, which manifests as a lot of obsessive delusion, and seems more consistent with the crazy texting and language issues seem more consistent with that.

Totally. Just watched first ep, really good lol, absolutely not just BPD, even though I had seen people suggest it was BPD. Elements are there, for sure.

 

[Azelover]

Thank you everybody for contributing. I'm sorry Ive been away, but I live in Porto Alegre Brazil. Yeah, the city where the massive flooding is happening. My house is fine, but we have been working around the clock to help people here. More than a hundred people died, and many more lost everything they had. So I'm busy, but thank you again