Does your hardware just break all the fuckin time, or what? The main reason people freak out about all this is because "oh god what if it breaks what if I lose it" and man these have GOT to be fringe cases, aren't they? I sure as hell don't go through hardware every other week. It sucks when it happens, but if the issue is that it's a bit inconvenient to resolve if it does, is that really worth all this hullabaloo? It sucks if you lose it, absolutely, I won't defend Nintendo on that system. But if it breaks, just send it in, get it fixed. To not buy stuff because you want to "handle your broken hardware differently" is stretching the limits of credulity here.
It sure is nice living in a region where you officially get supported by Nintendo. In my case, I don't live in the US, but I still have to send in any repairs to the US repair centers, which makes repairs incredibly expensive. At that point, I may as well buy a brand new piece of hardware that hasn't broken on me yet, but Nintendo won't give me that option at the expense of losing all my digital games.
Like I said, having only a single option to handle my broken hardware is great.
You know that lost item police reports are an actual thing, right? And in fact they use the same forms as stolen property reports in a lot of places?
If I go to my police station to file a report for "something I lost", I'd get laughed out of the station.