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Conan the Barbarian Teaser - Dear God Why

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John Milius is A Boss.
600full-john-milius.jpg

He should be the only one allowed near a new Conan. His work on the Rome tv series shows he still got some creative juices left.

King Conan Crown of Iron

With an older bearded Arnold.
 
SonicBoom said:
looks better then I initially anticipated but thats not saying much
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If you like the original Robert E Howard stories, Age of Conan, etc...you'll like this. If you're expecting another John Milius/Arnold version of Conan...you won't.
 
Where is my US release of Solomon Kane dammit!? >:|

The only good thing about Pathfinder was the poster. Looked like a nice Frazetta homage - then the movie went and f*cked all that up with terrible action scenes and bad effects. So sick of green screen shenanigans.

Clancy Brown doesn't deserve to have that turd on his record.


soundscream said:
John Milius is A Boss.
600full-john-milius.jpg

He should be the only one allowed near a new Conan. His work on the Rome tv series shows he still got some creative juices left.

King Conan Crown of Iron

With an older bearded Arnold.
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Hell yes.

Though Hollywood seems dumbfounded how to market a movie to audiences with a lead over 35 these days. =_=;
 
Morn said:
If you like the original Robert E Howard stories, Age of Conan, etc...you'll like this. If you're expecting another John Milius/Arnold version of Conan...you won't.
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Or if you think Nispel is crap could be added as well.
 
soundscream said:
Or if you think Nispel is crap could be added as well.
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Nispel's directing is fairly competent. I liked his work in Pathfinder. The problem with that movie wasn't the directing, it was the god awful script. Karl Urban did the best with what he had to work with.
 
JdFoX187 said:
Nispel's directing is fairly competent. I liked his work in Pathfinder. The problem with that movie wasn't the directing, it was the god awful script. Karl Urban did the best with what he had to work with.
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No, the direction was pretty awful too.

Terrible action scenes. Another stinker was the whole segment where they're traversing that sheer rock face - it was one of the most boring and tedious moments that should have been harrowing and exciting.

If you could scrub some of the artsy-fartsy off of it Valhalla Rising is the movie Pathfinder wishes it could be; but even VR has some tough parts to get through. Though that's more due to budgetary restraints, not a wildly incompetent director.
 
JdFoX187 said:
Nispel's directing is fairly competent. I liked his work in Pathfinder. The problem with that movie wasn't the directing, it was the god awful script. Karl Urban did the best with what he had to work with.
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Yeah, Pathfinder was just boring, the script was actually shoe-horned in IIRC, as originally the movie was meant to have little to ni dialogue. Visually though, it was really nice at times.

He did the remake of TCM though, of which I am in the camp that enjoys it quite a bit. Love how grimy it is.

The best recent Viking movie is probably Outlander...lol
 
Morn said:
FYI, the Arnold's Conan is Conan in name only.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conan_...ilm)#Relation_to_Robert_E._Howard.27s_stories
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Yeah, I've read a lot of Howard's stuff, and there are differences in the details, but none of that matters because the first movie absolutely captures the spirit of Howard's Conan. Little details take a back seat IMO when it comes to screen adoptions in comparison to big things like atmosphere and the basic essence. For example, the exclusion of web shooters in Raimi's spider-man movies is a good example of a detail that really didn't matter. It hurt absolutely nothing, and they still did a great job capturing the essence of the spider-man mythology.


This movie actually may also have a lot of faithfulness in terms of the basic idea, but this actor is simply not Conan. I just can't see him in the role. His line delivery and everything else just feels off to me. He doesn't have the right kind of screen presence.

The script may be more faithful, but I don't think they've gotten the other details right. Hopefully I'll be proven wrong, because I really love the character.
 
Dead said:
Yeah, Pathfinder was just boring, the script was actually shoe-horned in IIRC, as originally the movie was meant to have little to ni dialogue. Visually though, it was really nice at times.

He did the remake of TCM though, of which I am in the camp that enjoys it quite a bit. Love how grimy it is.

The best recent Viking movie is probably Outlander...lol
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Saw the TCM remake once, never cared for it. Those aren't my sort of movies. But yeah, the "dialogue" in Pathfinder was pretty fucking bad. I do like the idea of having little to none. I need to go back and check out the graphic novel it's based on.

Was Outlander any good? It's at the bottom of my Netflix queue, but I like James Caviezel and the premise interested me, but the subsequent failure to get a distributor and direct-to-DVD nature kind of put me off of the film.
 
JdFoX187 said:
Saw the TCM remake once, never cared for it. Those aren't my sort of movies. But yeah, the "dialogue" in Pathfinder was pretty fucking bad. I do like the idea of having little to none. I need to go back and check out the graphic novel it's based on.

Was Outlander any good? It's at the bottom of my Netflix queue, but I like James Caviezel and the premise interested me, but the subsequent failure to get a distributor and direct-to-DVD nature kind of put me off of the film.
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Outlander is a solid B movie. The creature design is pretty cool, and the effects for the most part are surprisingly decent considering the tiny budget. It definitely deserved a better release than what it got.
 
Outlander aka Space Beowulf is pretty damn fun. Solid cast too.

Check it out for sure.

Although I seem to recall there being something about the ending I didn't cotton to.
 
The Take Out Bandit said:
Outlander aka Space Beowulf is pretty damn fun. Solid cast too.

Check it out for sure.

Although I seem to recall there being something about the ending I didn't cotton to.
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Outlander was a terrible film, with a ridiculous premise, terrible plot, decent cast and good creature design. Such a waste of a film.
 
Least convincing Conan of all time, I remember a few shots of him from the set. Nothing changed. Also, awful teaser.

You should look at Conan and be fucking awed and afraid. This kid makes me want to slap him no matter the slight beefing up he received for this movie. Forced raw voice, forced scowl, ridiculous.

Well, I grew up with Howard's stories and then the Savage Sword of Conan comics, no way that a sterile movie of 2011 could ever live up to that, but I suspect they'll be able to fuck it up even more than what's to be expected.
 
Not much to tell about the film from that but it was a horribly cheesy teaser. the only line was a bad one: Conan's line summing up his character reeks of needless character explanation. Part of what made Arnold's Conan so great was how much he was able to express without words. He was what he was.

Expectations set at rock bottom.
 
GhaleonEB said:
Part of what made Arnold's Conan so great was how much he was able to express without words. He was what he was.
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Arnold was 6'4" and jacked to fuck back then. Hell, he had to cut a whole lot of muscle to play Conan because he couldn't hold a sword and shield properly otherwise.

Just like in The Terminator, Arnold's physical presence alone was enough His acting capabilities - however limited people think they are - just cemented it in place.
 
industrian said:
Arnold was 6'4" and jacked to fuck back then. Hell, he had to cut a whole lot of muscle to play Conan because he couldn't hold a sword and shield properly otherwise.

Just like in The Terminator, Arnold's physical presence alone was enough His acting capabilities - however limited people think they are - just cemented it in place.
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Yep. The sheer bravado and machismo of Arnold's portrayal of iconic characters (Terminator, Conan, Dutch, John Matrix) is what cemented them into cinema's history and I don't think its possible for any living actor today to recreate that. Some of the movies weren't necessarily the greatest, but who cares.
 
Night_Trekker said:
I really need to sit down and watch the Arnold films some time.
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The first movie is incredible, one of the best fantasy movies of all time imo. The 2nd less so.
 
Criminal Upper said:
Believe it or not, aliens worshiped as gods is a recurring theme in Conan.

Anyway:

wrath-amon-revealed-in-his-true-form.jpg
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This was a surprisingly watchable animated show.

It's a kiddie Conan for sure, but I was entertained. Some good lines scattered in the otherwise pretty silly dialog.

This trailer... well, no comment.
 
All the places i try and go watch it are saying trailer is no longer available. How could they do this to Conan? HOW COULD THEY DO IT!!!
 
I knew I know the line (only in german though, I had to search it ;)

“I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom’s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer’s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.”
 
derFeef said:
I knew I know the line (only in german though, I had to search it ;)

“I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom’s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer’s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.”
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Yea but I somehow doubt Howard pictured Conan saying that line in Bale Batman voice.
 
Fuckkkk.....that was much worse than I could have even imagined.

I will wait until the full trailer to judge completely.
 
derFeef said:
I knew I know the line (only in german though, I had to search it ;)

“I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom’s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer’s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.”
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Yes yes, but it was delivered terribly. In a terrible artificially gravely voice.
 
I don't get the backlash. It was a shitty teaser but what teaser isn't... really?

I don't hold high hopes for this film at all but I'd hardly write it off just because of this teaser.
 
Revolutionary said:
I don't get the backlash. It was a shitty teaser but what teaser isn't... really?

I don't hold high hopes for this film at all but I'd hardly write it off just because of this teaser.
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You can´t please Arnold fans AND Howard fans it seems. But the most backlash comes clearly from the Arnold fans here. Looking in the howard forums... it's quite the opposit as most people seem to like the voice and are pleased to hear Howard's lines, even if it is not 1:1.

Again, shitty teaser, but I stand my opinion - Momoa is a great Conan from what I have seen.
 
derFeef said:
You can´t please Arnold fans AND Howard fans it seems. But the most backlash comes clearly from the Arnold fans here. Looking in the howard forums... it's quite the opposit as most people seem to like the voice and are pleased to hear Howard's lines, even if it is not 1:1.

Again, shitty teaser, but I stand my opinion - Momoa is a great Conan from what I have seen.
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I'm a Howard fan way more than I'm an Arnold fan, and I find the voice ridiculous and forced.

And unless you mean in a "re-imagined, based on the known stories and lore but a reboot of the concept" kind of way, Momoa is objectively a horrible Conan.

He's half the size he should be, his musculature while a bit pumped is 'weight-lifting model-like' and not that of a natural strong-man/wrestler/athlete, and finally he does not look like a Celt/German as Cimmerians were supposed to look.
 
poisonelf said:
I'm a Howard fan way more than I'm an Arnold fan, and I find the voice ridiculous and forced.

And unless you mean in a "re-imagined, based on the known stories and lore but a reboot of the concept" kind of way, Momoa is objectively a horrible Conan.

He's half the size he should be, his musculature while a bit pumped is 'weight-lifting model-like' and not that of a natural strong-man/wrestler/athlete, and finally he does not look like a Celt/German as Cimmerians were supposed to look.
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Uhm, a Cimmerian does not look like a Celt or German, sorry. Dark skinned, black hair, light eyes.
 
derFeef said:
Uhm, a Cimmerian does not look like a Celt or German, sorry. Dark skinned, black hair, light eyes.
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I don't think Conan was dark skinned, but "bronze skinned" or darkened by wandering in the open. Cimmerians are referred to as "dark skinned" in comparison to the northern barbarians, but certainly not as dark skinned as Zamorans, Stygians or even Zingarans for example.

Celt is so broad a category, many peoples are included, and by German I meant early Germanic/Teutonic tribes, not modern day Germans. I remember reading when I was obsessed with Conan that Cimmerians are based in appearance to Celts for culture/coloring and Germanic tribes for size and facial features.

These of course can be endlessly debated, but one thing is certain, Conan did not look Hawaiian.
 
poisonelf said:
I don't think Conan was dark skinned, but "bronze skinned" or darkened by wandering in the open. Cimmerians are referred to as "dark skinned" in comparison to the northern barbarians, but certainly not as dark skinned as Zamorans, Stygians or even Zingarans for example.

Celt is so broad a category, many peoples are included, and by German I meant early Germanic/Teutonic tribes, not modern day Germans. I remember reading when I was obsessed with Conan that Cimmerians are based in appearance to Celts for culture/coloring and Germanic tribes for size and facial features.

These of course can be endlessly debated, but one thing is certain, Conan did not look Hawaiian.
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Fair enough if you refer to the Celts as in culture, weapons, skills.
 
Looks pretty forgettable frankly, and without someone of Basil Poledouris' genius scoring the film (a great score can sometimes elevate a film from mediocrity in my opinion), they'll be no redeeming features.
 
Doesn't look any more ridiculous than the original Conan. So it might be fun.
 
Momoa is an absurd choice (Howard would be rolling in his grave!) although he was awesome in Stargate Atlantis. I watched with an open mind, but winced when he spoke that final line. He's just too Ronon to play Conan. Ha.
 
JdFoX187 said:
I thought Jason Moa, or whatever the hell his name is, was good in Stargate Atlantis. I've been anticipating this for a while, as I'm also a fan of Marcus Nispel's work. Shit trailer though. I do wish whoever had the rights would bring over Solomon Kane stateside. Such an awesome fucking movie that is vastly underrated and under appreciated.
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Solomon Kane was awesome for what it was.

The new Conan trailer does indeed look a bit shit.
 
Arnold is not even close to 6'4''. He was probably just over 6'1'' in the movie. Momoa is probably even heavier given that he is much taller than Arnold. Arnold looks no heavier than 230 lbs in Conan and I would say Momoa is definitely within that range.
 
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