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Conan the Barbarian Teaser - Dear God Why

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Darklord said:
Well the original was garbage, even with Arnie, so I didn't expect much from this one.
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Anyone who thinks Arnold was a great Conan is to be ignored. He was a monkey faced, goggly eyed, mumble mouthed idiot with a terrible wig. None of which says Conan from the source material.

That said, underwhelming trailer.
 
krypt0nian said:
Anyone who thinks Arnold was a great Conan is to be ignored. He was a monkey faced, goggly eyed, mumble mouthed idiot with a terrible wig. None of which says Conan from the source material.

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poisonelf said:
I'm a Howard fan way more than I'm an Arnold fan, and I find the voice ridiculous and forced.

And unless you mean in a "re-imagined, based on the known stories and lore but a reboot of the concept" kind of way, Momoa is objectively a horrible Conan.

He's half the size he should be, his musculature while a bit pumped is 'weight-lifting model-like' and not that of a natural strong-man/wrestler/athlete, and finally he does not look like a Celt/German as Cimmerians were supposed to look.
Arnold is like 5'10 and Moma is around 6'5 and probably 240. I don't know how you guys can call him small.
 
charsace said:
Arnold is like 5'10 and Moma is around 6'5 and probably 240. I don't know how you guys can call him small.

Arnold is around 6'1'', but the issue is that Momoa just isn't physically imposing at all. He doesn't have the intimidation factor you'd expect from a guy playing Conan. Can you imagine hearing this guy say "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women" and taking it seriously?
 
Puddles said:
Arnold is around 6'1'', but the issue is that Momoa just isn't physically imposing at all. He doesn't have the intimidation factor you'd expect from a guy playing Conan. Can you imagine hearing this guy say "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women" and taking it seriously?

But in reality, that isn't really Conan. Arnold's Conan was a dumb oaf, when in Howard's stories Conan is a brilliant tactician.
 
Puddles said:
Arnold is around 6'1'', but the issue is that Momoa just isn't physically imposing at all. He doesn't have the intimidation factor you'd expect from a guy playing Conan. Can you imagine hearing this guy say "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women" and taking it seriously?
Arnold isn't around 6'1.
 
krypt0nian said:
Anyone who thinks Arnold was a great Conan is to be ignored. He was a monkey faced, goggly eyed, mumble mouthed idiot with a terrible wig. None of which says Conan from the source material.

That said, underwhelming trailer.

One of my friends is a big fan of Conan and agrees that the Conan movies should be considered "Ahnuld" movies and not part of the Conan mythology.

Just in the same way that Starship Troopers is my favourite novel but I still consider the movie to be great in it's own way even though it's a complete piss take.
 
Arnold is an awesome movie Conan, but it is not the Conan from the books. The problem is that the Arnold film is what most people think of when they hear Conan, so it is the ruler that the new movie will be judged by.
 
PhoncipleBone said:
Arnold is an awesome movie Conan, but it is not the Conan from the books. The problem is that the Arnold film is what most people think of when they hear Conan, so it is the ruler that the new movie will be judged by.

Good thing the new one has A LOT more nudity in it.
 
It's weird. Even as a child of the 80s, I can divorce Arnold from the Conan mythos pretty easily. Maybe it's because I really liked the cartoon and read the comics and know how much the earlier Conan movies deviated from the books. Even though Momoa isn't quite as big as I think he needs to be (muscle-wise), I really don't have a problem with him. Not even the voice.
 
GuitarAtomik said:
It's weird. Even as a child of the 80s, I can divorce Arnold from the Conan mythos pretty easily. Maybe it's because I really liked the cartoon and read the comics and know how much the earlier Conan movies deviated from the books. Even though Momoa isn't quite as big as I think he needs to be (muscle-wise), I really don't have a problem with him. Not even the voice.

This is a tough one. On one hand, Conan needs to be big and strong enough to hold a lady in his arm while outrunning running water. He also has to be FAST enough to do the same thing as well as be seen as a blur when fighting. Howard often describes him as a wolf. Wolves are not burly, so there needs to be an imposing thing about Conan as well as something sleek to imagine he's not an oaf. I imagine anyone hired to play this role would conflict in some way with Howard's descriptions. Momoa seems like a great compromise. Also, you have to remember that Howard's descriptions are all in different parts of Conan's life (Scarlet Citadel vs. Tower of the Elephant for example) as well as by different people of different cultures. Conan when viewed by a Shemite on one hand may be different than by an Hyrkanian or Aquilonian. It seems the basics are there, though. I think he looks and sounds great for the role, though the delivery of the line for Queen of the Black Coast doesn't feel quite right (mostly because it's delivered to someone else and in a different instance than in the story from which it's been taken).

That said, I think the teaser sucks, but I still have hope for the movie.
 
It's just a teaser, looks fine for what it is. It's not like the original was anything special, im sure this will be just as much of a brain dead B movies as the old ones were.
 
The whole debate on the size of Conan is pretty moot since the original stories often contradicted what kind of physique he had. He is often described as being large, very muscular, yet at the same time nimble as a thief. The stories were pulp in origin and more comic book like in reality than many other fantasy stories attempted. Even in the later comics you would have the giant looking Conan bouncing around like a ninja, yet it's not much different from the books portrayals. Also early book art also often greatly differed in how Conan looked when it came to muscular stature.

Morn said:
But in reality, that isn't really Conan. Arnold's Conan was a dumb oaf, when in Howard's stories Conan is a brilliant tactician.

Except this isn't true at all. Conan's victories in Howard's original stories were pretty much all granted to him thanks to other powers, usually of mystical and magical in origin. Conan almost never won against his many powerful enemies or escaped bad situations without some form of mystical power intervening in his favor. As King Conan, his big military victories and his crown were saved by others help always. Hour of the Dragon, the largest Conan story Howard did is pretty much about Conan going from place to place and being saved by someone or some power.

Conan was more lucky than brilliant. He was a bad ass yes, but he himself in the old short stories saw himself in simple terms. He was a survivor more than anything.
 
BattleMonkey said:
Except this isn't true at all. Conan's victories in Howard's original stories were pretty much all granted to him thanks to other powers, usually of mystical and magical in origin. Conan almost never won against his many powerful enemies or escaped bad situations without some form of mystical power intervening in his favor. As King Conan, his big military victories and his crown were saved by others help always. Hour of the Dragon, the largest Conan story Howard did is pretty much about Conan going from place to place and being saved by someone or some power.

Conan was more lucky than brilliant. He was a bad ass yes, but he himself in the old short stories saw himself in simple terms. He was a survivor more than anything.

Not totally true. Conan in The Scarlet Citadel and Black Colossus is actually quite a good tactician and leader of armies.
 
Team Vernia said:
Not totally true. Conan in The Scarlet Citadel and Black Colossus is actually quite a good tactician and leader of armies.

Scarlet Citadel once again has some outside source save Conan with mystical powers and helps him overcome the big bad and is the one who defeats the evil wizard.

Black Colossus was one of the few cases where Conan does most of the work himself, yet a rarity in Howards stories
 
Laughably worthless trailer.

I wasn't expecting much from this movie anyway, what with Jason Momoa not being an acting powerhouse. But I still won't make a real judgment 'til I at least see some real footage from the movie.
 
Meh. That showed nothing. My hopes are not high, but this changes nothing.

I just think that going with the director of Pathfinder was an incredibly bad mistake if Lionsgate wants this to be a profitable franchise again.
 
PhoncipleBone said:
Arnold is an awesome movie Conan, but it is not the Conan from the books. The problem is that the Arnold film is what most people think of when they hear Conan, so it is the ruler that the new movie will be judged by.
I agree completely. Unfortunately, I'm starting to have a feeling that this movie will suck regardless.
 
Pretty optimistic about the upcoming film, but yeah, that teaser was fucking awful. Came off as some random fanmade shit on da youtubes.
 
Most people would argue that style-heavy Nispel directs better trailers than he does actual films. Too bad they shit the bed with this thing.

That smoke effect looks so fucking cheap, like a fan project or something.
 
RyanDG said:
You know, I've been thinking about this whole thing with a new set of eyes today...

It could've been worse.

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Sorry about that.
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Not even a reason :(
 
It'll be mediocre, and it'll bomb, and there's really no reason at all for this to be 3D, but regardless, the trailer doesn't seem any worse than Immortals
 
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