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Could straight men and women just be friends?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8kpYm-6nuE

No

I actually had this girl I was friends with put this movie on and then "I got it" and we got busy. It got weird after when I tried to make out with her at a party and then she just like pushed me off. Was funny cos I just wanted to get some ass and then she wrote me this letter (lol) and gave me this long, drawn out explanation that she was in school and had to 'focus' on it. I was like I just wanted to get down baby. Then she took it personal because I didn't have 'feelings' for her. I miss her though :(
 
AndresON777 said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8kpYm-6nuE

No

I actually had this girl I was friends with put this movie on and then "I got it" and we got busy. It got weird after when I tried to make out with her at a party and then she just like pushed me off. Was funny cos I just wanted to get some ass and then she wrote me this letter (lol) and gave me this long, drawn out explanation that she was in school and had to 'focus' on it. I was like I just wanted to get down baby. Then she took it personal because I didn't have 'feelings' for her. I miss her though :(
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Why can't we be friends?
 
Devolution said:
The logic that prevails in this thread isn't about feelings, it's about not being friends with an entire gender because you either can't ignore your genitals and or you degrade people to sexual objects and their company alone isn't enough.
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Right. Anyone who thinks that way is awful, and also misunderstands the question. The question is pointed at the distinction between "friends" and "just friends." Without the "just," you can tack on all kinds of feelings and tension. And that's generally what happens. Which is fine. That's how we are. But that's my answer to the question.

Devolution said:
There's nothing much to be condescending about really. In the real world people have friends of both sexes and it's not some thing that is entirely impossible. And if someone finds another person attractive, big fucking deal, it happens. If they're worth being friends with the answer is obvious. Getting rejected is one thing, there's your feelings argument. Deciding that you can't be friends with the opposite gender, especially if they're attractive, suggests a problem with how you view them.
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I agree with everything you've said, but see above.
 
Yes. I have just friends. I've also had fuck buddies. I've had friends with sexual tension you could cut a knife with. It's not a big deal.
 
Entropia said:
They think that the guys are just being friendly/nice to them because they're expecting sex at the end. See the the "Friendship tokens for sex"picture that's floating around the internet. Never in the history of existence has it never been reversed btw.
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wow

http://lawsonry.com/2012/08/when-nice-guys-arent/

What she's describing is known as "having it both ways." Expecting every guy who experiences rejection to immediately buckle down and "just be friends" in a totally platonic way is expecting every guy to be the Good Guy Greg meme. Any guy who's not a saint will take at least some significant time to get over the girl and move on enough to just be her friend.

Of course, a lot of guys do have a hard time realizing when it's time to give up.

Hetero male/female friendships can work fine as long as either there's no attraction (preferable) or both parties can properly compartmentalize it (which often isn't easy, especially if you're younger).
 
Aeana said:
But men and women can't get and understand each other?
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It's more difficult, not saying it doesn't happen but is uncommon. Men and women are different, whether is upbringing, or genetics, or hormones, I don't know, but they are notoriously different, is hard to deny that.
 
I have 3 lady friends I'm super close with, but truth be told if any of them wanted my dingaling then I'd pounce. Right now of course I just respect them and their space, treat them like any of my guy friends, and am there for them/vice versa.

So yes you can, but control your penis.
 
Yes, I can be just friends with a girl. I can tell you though, any girl I'm friends with for long enough, I'm gonna want to hook up. I won't because of respect but it will be in my mind.
 
mantidor said:
It's more difficult, not saying it doesn't happen but is uncommon. Men and women are different, whether is upbringing, or genetics, or hormones, I don't know, but they are notoriously different, is hard to deny that.
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I don't think that men and women are that different. I mean, there are some differences. If I hear women talking about their menstrual cycles, for instance, I can't really offer anything useful. However, I do think that a lot of the supposed differences aren't really all that meaningful, and are often just as a result of conditioning. Meaning, if it seems weird for a guy and girl to be friends, it's primarily because we think it's weird, and not largely due to any intrinsic properties of being male and female.
 
blackflag said:
Yes, I can be just friends with a girl. I can tell you though, any girl I'm friends with for long enough, I'm gonna want to hook up. I won't because of respect but it will be in my mind.
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See? Real talk.

When you develop a connection with someone, that thought is gonna come up.
 
Is it that you can't hook up and still be friends? Regardless of gender? Are people more worried about what might happen afterwards? If things will be awkward or is it once you have sex, things are over?

Everything is still being treated in one way or the other. There seems to be no middle ground. You can find a person attractive but not want to date. Does that mean you can't be friends? Now if you are in a situation where you want to be with said person and they don't and you need to space yourself from it, that is understandable as well. It isn't as cut and dry as one would think.
 
It's not hard at all for me, I'm incredibly picky when it comes to what I look for in a women after going through some really fucking terrible relationships, so while I might be attracted to most of my female friends, I don't feel the urge to get with them, because I know they'd drive me insane due to this or that, and then it would be the last straw and I'd go on a massacre.

And as much as I like sex, I can't do it without real feelings there, and definitely not something like a one night stand.
 
FallingEdge said:
Now if you are in a situation where you want to be with said person and they don't and you need to space yourself from it, that is understandable as well. It isn't as cut and dry as one would think.
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And that's fine because that's person to person. Doesn't really have much to do with the opposite gender so much as it didn't work out and you can't deal with the rejection.
 
Gorillaz said:
Yea you can. Lets be honest the thought of taking it a "step further" will always enter your mind.
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So then you can't.

You can be friends, yes, but with that thought in your mind you can't be "just" friends, as the OP's question clearly asks.

Dear everyone: please read and copy the thread title 500 times in your notebook, making sure to underline the word "just."

Your reading comprehension abilities will thank you.
 
It's fairly natural for males to feel sexual attraction to any attractive woman they meet in their life-time, doesn't mean they should act on those feelings just because they have them though.
 
HappyBivouac said:
So then you can't.

You can be friends, yes, but with that thought in your mind you can't be "just" friends, as the OP's question clearly asks.
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It's a natural thought tho, not only with guys but girls too. It's all about self control.

EDIT: somebody is desperate to prove it can't work out eh?
 
Both are single?
Both are similarly attractive?

Maybe some can be just friends.

BUT there is still a difference:

If the female friend seriously asks to have sex / go out for a date / try to see if their friendship can turn into relationship - the man will likely answer with yes.

If the male friend seriously asks to have sex / go out for a date / try to see if their friendship can turn into relationship - the woman will likely answer with NO.
 
SolidusDave said:
Both are single?
Both are similarly attractive?

Maybe some can be just friends.

BUT there is still a difference:

If the female friend seriously asks to have sex / go out for a date / try to see if their friendship can turn into relationship - the man will likely answer with yes.

If the male friend seriously asks to have sex / go out for a date / try to see if their friendship can turn into relationship - the woman will likely answer with NO.
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I think you just told everyone that you're desperate.
 
nilbog21 said:
I think it works even with sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is such a lowly form of desire
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Depends. It's like the weather for me. Some days I'm horny as fuck and others I could care less about getting a piece of ass.

I can't imagine being married, ugh
 
Yeah definitely. In high school I had a bunch of female friends who were attractive to me, and some who were not. Woman are people too guys lol. If you want to jump every girl you see, you need to stop being a horn ball.
 
Air said:
Yeah definitely. In high school I had a bunch of female friends who were attractive to me, and some who were not. Woman are people too guys lol. If you want to jump every girl you see, you need to stop being a horn ball.
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It's not every girl even if they're fit. Some girls just have it
 
Only on gaf could you find this question asked seriously. I have way more female friends than male, including my best friend. It's been like that for the majority of my life. I'm married as well and my wife is quite close friends with them. It's a win-win.
 
I don't think I clearly understand the question. I have quite a few female friends that I would have sex with no doubt. But since I'm fairly sure it's not going to happen I can perfectly handle just being friends with them.
 
No, not really, most of my female friends are gorgeous women, and ex-gf's of current close friends. So there's also that barrier of bullshit I have to battle through. I wont have any of it.

Also: I find the contrast responses between married men in this thread and single men very intriguing.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
No, not really, most of my female friends are gorgeous women, and ex-gf's of current close friends. So there's also that barrier of bullshit I have to battle through. I wont have any of it.

Also: I find the contrast responses between married men in this thread and single men very intriguing.
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Even before I was married and a typical playboy, I still kept my female friends closest of all. Heck I remember having sleepovers with my female friends, same bed and everything, absolutely zero sexual tension (at least from my end, dunno bout them) ..attractive women too. I was usually chasing some other girl though and they of course knew that as well. I used to be friends with a lot of my guy friends' girlfriends too, like they'd call me to talk about their guy. I've been called a "good listener" practically my entire life, though I have zero idea what I do different other than listen. Trust me, this isn't a stealth brag post, just pointing out not every guy is a sex-crazed cock monster with every female they know, married or not. I have zero problem admitting I'm more of a hopeless romantic type though (read: Dawson, not Pacey).
 
worldrevolution said:
Even before I was married and a typical playboy, I still kept my female friends closest of all. Heck I remember having sleepovers with my female friends, same bed and everything, absolutely zero sexual tension (at least from my end, dunno bout them) ..admitting I'm more of a hopeless romantic type though
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What happens when you wake up with massive wood and it's poking her back?
 
JokerOfSpades said:
Most guys I know say no. Well, they say they wouldn't be friends with someone they wouldn't fuck.
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You're hanging out with some seriously broken men.

Obsessed said:
I swear we have this thread every couple months.
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It's kind of needed, though. I see the assertion/implication that men can't be friends with women pop up alarmingly often on GAF.

Actually, you know what, no. These types of threads aren't needed. What the men of GAF need is a crash course on how to be emotionally healthy and have healthy interpersonal relationships. I call dibs on the OT.
 
I vastly prefer female friends. I've never had a problem with just being friends with a girl. I get along better with them in general.


Aww, bottom of the page
 
Like the hat? said:
I vastly prefer female friends. I've never had a problem with just being friends with a girl. I get along better with them in general.


Aww, bottom of the page
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i see you boo

edit:

wait a minute

Jokerofspades said:
Most guys I know say no. Well, they say they wouldn't be friends with someone they wouldn't fuck.
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so they have sex with all of their friends
 
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