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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Salamando

Member
Is Instagram like (I don't know Baseball euphemisms that well) social first base?
Most of the younger girls I've met so far are very keen on texting on instagram instead of whatsapp or viber
The means by which you can message a lady don't matter, as long as she's responding and ultimately agrees to a date.

In baseball terms, it's more like you've just hit the ball. Could be an out, could go foul, could be a home run....
 
I didn't knew Instagram even had messaging, "oh you mean the meme aggregation app?", so I found it weird to use it instead of straight up messaging apps
 
Sliding in a DM is the same as texting or anything else. I met a girl at an outing with some friends, but didn't make a move that night. She added me on Instagram a few days later and I directly asked her out in my 1st message. Treat it the same way as any other form of communication, but obviously try and get a cell phone number ASAP. Don't flirt online too long, get to meet in person quickly.
 

vern

Member
Is Instagram like (I don't know Baseball euphemisms that well) social first base?
Most of the younger girls I've met so far are very keen on texting on instagram instead of whatsapp or viber

I mentioned it at least once before, but instagram got me so many dates back in the day, even before it had DMs. I am a pretty decent photographer (if I do say so myself 😉) and lead a relatively interesting life so those things help, but I used to get tons of girls commenting and messaging me on there. I also like you meet girls and they say add Instagram as opposed to handing out a phone number. Nobody uses phone numbers outside of America anyway.
 
So I need to curate my eyegee then.

Funny story about texting, one time someone thought I could get them drugs and what they got instead was relationship advice.
 
There's not much else to say, we started texting, normal conversation starters, then the topic shifted to if I could get party drugs, I laughed it off but we kept texting and eventually the conversation got personal.
People in real life have approached me before thinking the same, so I don't get too bothered about it anymore.
 

vern

Member
There's not much else to say, we started texting, normal conversation starters, then the topic shifted to if I could get party drugs, I laughed it off but we kept texting and eventually the conversation got personal.
People in real life have approached me before thinking the same, so I don't get too bothered about it anymore.

You should probably get a haircut and some new clothes.
 
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I'm European though
 

gaiages

Banned
Cool! Speaking of dribbling fluids, does your penis work?

We are your biggest cheerleaders.

omfgggggggg

eh, I don't think that's the issue, I wear espadrilles for crying out loud
Also can't do anything about my hair, due to a lack of it

lol it's probably more due to the way you act. I always have people thinking I'm high because I'm so non-chalant about like everything... but I don't smoke/do drugs at all lol
 
Looks like old Chinese man slippers. I wear them too.

I couldn't bring myself to wear these tbh, I prefer laces (even speed laces) too much.

These are the latest additions to my collection:

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145177.jpg

I need some formal shoes but I've been lazy.... Also, haven't finished my tinder account because I'm an idiot, but hopefully it should be up in a week or two.
 
Went over to her house tonight to watch a movie.

Afterwards she said she's a mess right now, doesn't know if she's ready for anything, and doesn't want to lead me on.

Sigh.
 

Peltz

Member
Fucking hell why can't I meet women this forward 😢
Many women are this forward when you start being forward with them first. You just need to create an atmosphere of being very open without fear of embarrassment early on in the date.

One of the last dates I went on when single was with a bumble girl who's name I literally did not remember when we met up. I blanked on it. And somehow it came out when I said "Hi___" then paused on it.

Before she got mad, I literally told her, "sorry, I go on a lot of these. I have been on a ton of bumble dates and sometimes they blur together. Please don't take it personally." And she actually was very cool and understanding and became very forward with me physically that night. She initiated everything.

So just be yourself even if it's embarrassing and girls will generally be the same way.
 
Went over to her house tonight to watch a movie.

Afterwards she said she's a mess right now, doesn't know if she's ready for anything, and doesn't want to lead me on.

Sigh.

That's pretty vague tbh. Did you ask her if she wants to continue seeing you or if she wants to cut it off?
 
I made an OK Cupid profile yesterday, and I'm having serious second thoughts. I made the account with the intention of finding a serious relationship, but looking through my matches, all I can think about right now is sex. And yeah, sex would be nice, but it's not gonna solve any of the emotional issues I'm having right now. And I'm questioning my ability to look for potential partners right now.

I think I should just bow out of the dating game right now. I think I'm actually feeling worse than I did before.
 

Neoweee

Member
I made an OK Cupid profile yesterday, and I'm having serious second thoughts. I made the account with the intention of finding a serious relationship, but looking through my matches, all I can think about right now is sex. And yeah, sex would be nice, but it's not gonna solve any of the emotional issues I'm having right now. And I'm questioning my ability to look for potential partners right now.

I think I should just bow out of the dating game right now. I think I'm actually feeling worse than I did before.

It can be intimidating, but any kind of relevant experience will help build the foundation for future confidence.
 
I don't think she even knows, seems confused.

I just told her to get her head straight and let me know.

Ah. That's fair. Just don't wait on her. Gotta put her outta your mind and move on. If she comes around great. If not you're stillnon the ball.

Personally I cant do the "let mw know" thing. I just say that I enjoy dating the person but I can't wait in flux so I guess this is where we go our separate ways.
 
I think I should just bow out of the dating game right now. I think I'm actually feeling worse than I did before.

This is me too at the moment buddy, having not activated any of the profiles I've made so far, but we'll power through this shit damn it. Run with it, learn from conversations and dates, improve and grow. It does feel worse at the start, but you need to have an honest go at it before you consider giving up.
 

jimmypython

Member
Fucking hell why can't I meet women this forward ��

Many women are this forward when you start being forward with them first. You just need to create an atmosphere of being very open without fear of embarrassment early on in the date.

One of the last dates I went on when single was with a bumble girl who's name I literally did not remember when we met up. I blanked on it. And somehow it came out when I said "Hi___" then paused on it.

Before she got mad, I literally told her, "sorry, I go on a lot of these. I have been on a ton of bumble dates and sometimes they blur together. Please don't take it personally." And she actually was very cool and understanding and became very forward with me physically that night. She initiated everything.

So just be yourself even if it's embarrassing and girls will generally be the same way.

Yes. This is certainly true in my case. I was making ourselves extremely comfortable physically throughout the date (minor touching etc). And i guess the weather kinda helped by the end of the date as we were walking to my car. It started pouring and we shared one tiny umbrella, during which I said: "well i guess we'll have to show people that we are on a date now ;)" lol

Regarding remembering names, yes, I am having this problem right now - I can't be certain about the name of the girl for another potential first date next week lol.
 
I made an OK Cupid profile yesterday, and I'm having serious second thoughts. I made the account with the intention of finding a serious relationship, but looking through my matches, all I can think about right now is sex. And yeah, sex would be nice, but it's not gonna solve any of the emotional issues I'm having right now. And I'm questioning my ability to look for potential partners right now.

I think I should just bow out of the dating game right now. I think I'm actually feeling worse than I did before.
I can only stand to look at OKC profiles for so long before I feel like I'm shopping at a grocery store, everything starts to look the same, and paralysis sets in. It's a very unsettling feeling. I go in, rapid fire off messages that at least give the impression I read their profile, and get out.
 

artsi

Member
There's this damn cute local girl that started following me and is liking all my photos with me in it, so I'm considering about sliding into her DM's and ask what's what.

The rich girl (I need a better callsign for her lol) is still my priority, I really like her, but man needs to have some backup plans.

LOL she slid into my DM's first.

Works this way too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 

Peltz

Member
I made an OK Cupid profile yesterday, and I'm having serious second thoughts. I made the account with the intention of finding a serious relationship, but looking through my matches, all I can think about right now is sex. And yeah, sex would be nice, but it's not gonna solve any of the emotional issues I'm having right now. And I'm questioning my ability to look for potential partners right now.

I think I should just bow out of the dating game right now. I think I'm actually feeling worse than I did before.

No offense, but a relationship wouldn't solve any of your emotional issues either... no matter what they are. It's important to be in a good place mentally or else you really won't be able to give any relationship the care it deserves.
 
No offense, but a relationship wouldn't solve any of your emotional issues either... no matter what they are. It's important to be in a good place mentally or else you really won't be able to give any relationship the care it deserves.

Yeah, I just feel lost right now. I'm tired of being alone, but I'm not sure what I really want or need right now. And looking at profiles on OK Cupid just reminds me how much I struggle to connect to others.
 
Man, this girl i hung out with twice was all up in business last night after i told her i was hanging with my friend. I told her i couldnt see her last night because i was taking my friend out for dinner as thanks for watching my dog while i go see baby driver tonight.

Straight up asking where we are going... I like her but damn, slow your roll, you dont need my gps coordinates.

I had a date last night that cancelled because work was going to go to long. I messaged another lady and she was down. Had a great conversation over wine outside this cafe. Dropped her off at her place. I get 1 block away and she texts me if i want tea or something for dropping her off. I dont think i have backed up so fast on a chicago street ever. Had another great conversation that lead to more things.

Good times.
 
Man, this girl i hung out with twice was all up in business last night after i told her i was hanging with my friend. I told her i couldnt see her last night because i was taking my friend out for dinner as thanks for watching my dog while i go see baby driver tonight.

Straight up asking where we are going... I like her but damn, slow your roll, you dont need my gps coordinates.

I had a date last night that cancelled because work was going to go to long. I messaged another lady and she was down. Had a great conversation over wine outside this cafe. Dropped her off at her place. I get 1 block away and she texts me if i want tea or something for dropping her off. I dont think i have backed up so fast on a chicago street ever. Had another great conversation that lead to more things.

Good times.
I would have taken her to Baby Driver, perfect mix of romance and action 😉 But yeah, being controlling way too fast is a red flag. I'm sure you enjoyed that tea.
 

gaiages

Banned
I mean, she just might have been trying to make conversation by asking where you were going to eat. Have you never asked anyone that before...?

Of course, context really matters in this case.
 
I mean, she just might have been trying to make conversation by asking where you were going to eat. Have you never asked anyone that before...?

Of course, context really matters in this case.

This. I ask people what they're up to on a given night and they always think I'm trying to hang out, or at least I'm paranoid that's the case . Nah Im just genuinely curious what people do with their alone time
 

Peltz

Member
Yeah, I just feel lost right now. I'm tired of being alone, but I'm not sure what I really want or need right now. And looking at profiles on OK Cupid just reminds me how much I struggle to connect to others.

Have you read the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck? It's a good book that may help.
 

gaiages

Banned
This. I ask people what they're up to on a given night and they always think I'm trying to hang out, or at least I'm paranoid that's the case . Nah Im just genuinely curious what people do with their alone time

I like asking people where they're eating at cuz I love eating out and if it's a new place I wanna go eat there :p And I mean, talking about food is pretty easily to find a commonality with.
 

Nudull

Banned
So, was hanging out with this one girl for several months with no real intention of it going any further than that. One night, she suddenly lets out on how much she liked me and how natural it felt. We talked together, and we ended up walking away with mutual feelings. Next day, I actually do ask her out...and she pretty much acted like nothing ever happened.

Was rather weird, but oh well. Not sure what the point was.
 

Peltz

Member
So, was hanging out with this one girl for several months with no real intention of it going any further than that. One night, she suddenly lets out on how much she liked me and how natural it felt. We talked together, and we ended up walking away with mutual feelings. Next day, I actually do ask her out...and she pretty much acted like nothing ever happened.

Was rather weird, but oh well. Not sure what the point was.

She was horny?
 
So, was hanging out with this one girl for several months with no real intention of it going any further than that. One night, she suddenly lets out on how much she liked me and how natural it felt. We talked together, and we ended up walking away with mutual feelings. Next day, I actually do ask her out...and she pretty much acted like nothing ever happened.

Was rather weird, but oh well. Not sure what the point was.

Personal opinion. Someone tells you they like you what you do is ask them on a date. Don't tell them you have feelings back. Words are worthless. Actions matter. If she likes you then she will say yes. By just going "oh I like you a lot too" you haven't gained anything. Up the ante. Get something tangible.

For reference this girl isn't your friend and you shouldn't chill with her.
 

Peltz

Member
Personal opinion. Someone tells you they like you what you do is ask them on a date. Don't tell them you have feelings back. Words are worthless. Actions matter. If she likes you then she will say yes. By just going "oh I like you a lot too" you haven't gained anything. Up the ante. Get something tangible.

For reference this girl isn't your friend and you shouldn't chill with her.

Good advice ^
 
I like asking people where they're eating at cuz I love eating out and if it's a new place I wanna go eat there :p And I mean, talking about food is pretty easily to find a commonality with.

I love knowing about new places to eat and use it as a conversation piece. She first asked where me and my friend were going. I didnt know yet since i hadnt picked her up yet. So i told her that. Then 30 minutes later she asked where we ended up while i was still eating dinner with my friend. My personal context was a bit different.

I made sure Baby Driver was going to be a best friend date.
 

ACE 1991

Member
How does one differentiate between the "spark" going away from a a relationship vs. simply the comfort that comes from being in a long-term relationship?
 

Nudull

Banned
Personal opinion. Someone tells you they like you what you do is ask them on a date. Don't tell them you have feelings back. Words are worthless. Actions matter. If she likes you then she will say yes. By just going "oh I like you a lot too" you haven't gained anything. Up the ante. Get something tangible.

For reference this girl isn't your friend and you shouldn't chill with her.

Sure, just that I was caught off guard by it. Not a big loss, really.
 
Sure, just that I was caught off guard by it. Not a big loss, really.

I get ya fam. Not implying this is a big deal.

All the same though, your friends wont tell you things that make you reveal vulnerabilities and then pretend that shit never happened. Shitty people do that. Don't surround yourself with shitty people.
 
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