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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
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anigif_sub-buzz-25972-1479741401-2.gif
 
So I'm friends with a woman for like 3 years and 3 months ago we both confirmed we really like each other a lot, so we're kinda dating on the down low since then... We resolve conflicts well but once in a blue moon she throws me for a loop with an immature response.

This time it's after a discussion where I put my foot down on something she wanted, (and I'm right on this front) and after I explained my stand and she's being pouty because she didn't get her way she closes by texting: "Do whatever you want to do. You always end up doing what you want anyways." which is BS, I always consider her comfort, needs and concerns whenever it calls for it, but I'm not here to play games or be manipulated into caving either.

What the hell does a man trying to preserve his sanity say to that kind of thing? Not glorify it with any response? Id like to say something but I'm not gonna argue further. But I also don't want this to form some stupid conflict... And it's that I don't want to be a peace-maker and compromise either, I compromise plenty with her whenever there's a genuine need for it. I'm just not willing to satisfy some BS entitled-teenager style request.

what do please?
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...

what in the flying fuck
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...
Gifts they've given me, sometimes, sure. Mementos, like toothbrushes and shit? Fuck NO! That is creepy ass shit! Heck, I even delete most pictures.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...

WHAT
THE
FUCK
IS
THIS
SHIT
THIS
IS
NOT
OK
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...
idk if memento is the right word but an ex gave me Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3 for the PS2 and I still have it, and probs won't ever get rid of it.
But used condoms? that ain't right.
 
afroguy10 said:
I've recently become single. Heart wasn't in the relationship anymore after almost 2 years so decided to cut my losses, not drag it out for both our sakes and break up with her.

I'm just trying to get back into it now, gonna start going to the gym again this week, eat a little healthier and then start looking around d again. Gonna have to install Plenty of Fish and Tinder again, in a way I've missed the patter you can get on it.

I know there's two girls at work who are interested in me as well. I'm not averse to work flings and stuff and my works a hotbed for it so might explore those options but I'll definitely keep my wits about me.

As sad as I am that my relationship is over I'm actually quite excited to be single again!
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Keep up the positive mindset!
 
Cuban Legend said:
So I'm friends with a woman for like 3 years and 3 months ago we both confirmed we really like each other a lot, so we're kinda dating on the down low since then... We resolve conflicts well but once in a blue moon she throws me for a loop with an immature response.

This time it's after a discussion where I put my foot down on something she wanted, (and I'm right on this front) and after I explained my stand and she's being pouty because she didn't get her way she closes by texting: "Do whatever you want to do. You always end up doing what you want anyways." which is BS, I always consider her comfort, needs and concerns whenever it calls for it, but I'm not here to play games or be manipulated into caving either.

What the hell does a man trying to preserve his sanity say to that kind of thing? Not glorify it with any response? Id like to say something but I'm not gonna argue further. But I also don't want this to form some stupid conflict... And it's that I don't want to be a peace-maker and compromise either, I compromise plenty with her whenever there's a genuine need for it. I'm just not willing to satisfy some BS entitled-teenager style request.

what do please?
Click to expand...

This aint even your girlfriend and you already getting this passive aggressive bullshit. Well without knowing what you guys were even arguing about all I would suggest is leave it alone right now and address it a bit later when everyome calms down.

It sounds like yall got a lil bit too much drama for "dating on the low" though
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...
This deserves its own thread. Where you finally ask your friend why she does that.
 
Spoiled Milk said:
You guys ever wake up and finally realize what your type is?
Click to expand...

It's more like I've learned to abandon "type"-ing altogether. A few key girls in my dating history taught me that what I thought was important isn't and that I can have amazing chemistry with girls who weren't my "type". I'll now go out with just about anyone as long as there's attraction and similar morals/values.
 
always crazy bacon said:
The more he posts the more I'm recognizing Lookatmego as pre-rehab Russel Brand. I'm not saying this a a humorous forum post. I read his autobiography part one and two and in it he describing his sex addiction as being joyless and compulsive. He's either going to hit rock bottom or get some help.
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I hit rock bottom last year. Got help, got better. Went through therapy and saw a psychologist. I'm a long way from that point. At least I'm not being hospitalized from anxiety attacks anymore. Slippin up a bit now but I think I can nip this in the bud before it gets too bad. I know what I have to do.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answers to.
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I've watched enough episodes of Hoarders to know it's her way of maintaining a connection to these men, even if they've forgotten her and she's forgotten them. They can trigger memories, hopefully happy ones.
LookAtMeGo said:
I hit rock bottom last year. Got help, got better. Went through therapy and saw a psychologist. I'm a long way from that point. At least I'm not being hospitalized from anxiety attacks anymore. Slippin up a bit now but I think I can nip this in the bud before it gets too bad. I know what I have to do.
Click to expand...
Good luck sir. May your recovery be smoother than your descent.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I feel like creepiness is roughly 98% male-domianted here, so I wanted to throw out this question to the field: do you keep mementos of partners?

(I don't. It's always a solemn feeling when I throw out a girl's toothbrush.)

My friend apparently keeps used condoms. She also keeps, and then doesn't wash, her panties that guys used to wipe themselves off with (though I'm not entirely sure of the logistics here). At least the condoms are in trash cans.

I feel slightly ill. And, anyway, back from the edge: Brazilian girl and I texted back and forth a bit all day.
Click to expand...

If, IF, she's hard-up and predatory, she's keeping DNA evidence for potential blackmail.

Anyway, I'm not too attached to anything given to me--mostly because everyone sucks at gifting me anything practical.
 
Gotdatmoney said:
This aint even your girlfriend and you already getting this passive aggressive bullshit. Well without knowing what you guys were even arguing about all I would suggest is leave it alone right now and address it a bit later when everyome calms down.

It sounds like yall got a lil bit too much drama for "dating on the low" though
Click to expand...
always crazy bacon said:
It's common, is the thing she wants going to cost you money? Tell her to pay for it herself. She is just being immature, don't validate her behavior. Best to ignore it, if it's too frequent then time for her to go.
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Thanks for the input!

Yeah I shoulda been more forward about what we're arguing about:

I needed some crucial details/input from her on something that's going to lead to a gift she'll get later, but now that she knows there's a surprise coming up, she wants me to spoil it "just because", and I'm like "Nah, you can wait", and she's like "well if you're gonna be like that, then I don't want it"... :[

She knows its part of a set of individualized gifts im giving out to her and a few of her friends, so I'm gonna just make her gift anyways, give them to all her friends like I planned so she knows I called her bluff on excluding her, and later if she asks about it or it's no longer an issue... I'll give her her gift. I'm not spoiling a gift and bending to her will, but I'm also not a monster. Good idea?
 
always crazy bacon said:
When you love someone, real love not infatuation from afar they become more attractive to you. You'll never have a dream girl before you are in a relationship with them if you want both. Its impossible before the fact.
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Sure, but some things are fundamentally never going to change. Thats basically relationship 101. Don't go into a relationship expecting a person to change who they are.

In my case (without getting too specific), the type of girl i am attracted too and the type of girl i will have a happy relationship with are almost personality polar opposites. Nothing wrong with knowing that.
 
always crazy bacon said:
When you love someone, real love not infatuation from afar they become more attractive to you. You'll never have a dream girl before you are in a relationship with them if you want both. Its impossible before the fact.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I've had this conversation with friends and even my dad before. I never thought my mom was a particularly attractive person, but my dad would up and down swear to me that my mom was the most attractive person alive to him in the world.

Now that I'm in a serious relationship, I understand what he was talking about when I was growing up. My girlfriend to me is the most beautiful person alive. She's become even more attractive to me as time has gone on and our relationship has flourished.

Sure, there might be "objectively" more attractive people in the world, but on a personal level she is more attractive to me. She loves me, and I love her. We respect each other, and we work as a team. That makes her far, far more attractive to me than any of those celeberities on TV. I'd say she wasn't my "dream girl" starting out (if there is even such a thing), but she's certainly (and quite literally) my dream girl now. I'm one happy lesbian.
 
Is it a bad idea to start talking to a girl who is also working with me on a group project? I think she"s attractive and interesting (and might even be interested in me), but I also fear that talking to her might make things awkward in terms of working together (the project lasts until December).
 
ForkNetwork said:
Is it a bad idea to start talking to a girl who is also working with me on a group project? I think she"s attractive and interesting (and might even be interested in me), but I also fear that talking to her might make things awkward in terms of working together (the project lasts until December).
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yes
 
ForkNetwork said:
Is it a bad idea to start talking to a girl who is also working with me on a group project? I think she"s attractive and interesting (and might even be interested in me), but I also fear that talking to her might make things awkward in terms of working together (the project lasts until December).
Click to expand...

Not at all go ahead and if she rejects you act totally cool.

Wait is this work related or school?
 
ForkNetwork said:
Is it a bad idea to start talking to a girl who is also working with me on a group project? I think she"s attractive and interesting (and might even be interested in me), but I also fear that talking to her might make things awkward in terms of working together (the project lasts until December).
Click to expand...

If she rejects you, are you going to be to be able to suck it up and bury those feelings?

Are you willing to take the risk that any relationship could south and damage your group project grade?
 
ForkNetwork said:
Is it a bad idea to start talking to a girl who is also working with me on a group project? I think she"s attractive and interesting (and might even be interested in me), but I also fear that talking to her might make things awkward in terms of working together (the project lasts until December).
Click to expand...
If it's school, go for it.
If it's work, don't.
 
Ernest said:
If it's school, go for it.
If it's work, don't.
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I'll agree with this.

Advocatus Diaboli said:
snip
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DateCast Episode 1: Morbid Momentos

Spoiled Milk said:
You guys ever wake up and finally realize what your type is?
Click to expand...

I've met a few girls in my life where I thought they were a great or perfect match for me, but they were all a bit different in their own ways, so I don't really know if I have a type. I know for a fact that I like girls who are a bit more out-going, clever and like to shit talk each other though.
 
Spoiled Milk said:
You guys ever wake up and finally realize what your type is?
Click to expand...
I have a type, but I don't adhere to it. My "dream girl" doesn't exist. Found that out the hard way.

backslashbunny said:
Sort of. I've always had a preferred type, but I gave everyone a shot.

Ended marrying a mam who my perfect man/checklist type to t.

That is so weird, and no. I actually keep men as memories in my mind through song. Every guy I've ever fell in love with, there's a song or two that I associate with them.

So, I have a playlist called "the men I've loved," and that's my "memento" list.
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I do this with games. I let my "Klonoa" go a long time ago, but it was for the best. "Mirror's Edge" and I are bros now. I have a love-hate thing going with "Phantasy Star." I'm kinda digging "Ogre Battle" at the moment; we have some eerily similar emotional scars.
 
BuddyTheBestPuppy said:
How does that help?
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Sex has a mental and physical component, and Porn can negatively impact both.

Excessive masturbation can condition your penis to only receive pleasure from specific stimulation - namely, your hand. You can become numb to intercourse and oral as they can't provide the same pressure and/or tempo as your hand. On the other hand (sorry), it could also cause you to have no lasting power. When masturbating, you don't typically delay the O. The O is the goal, and you rush to get there.

Excessive pornographic consumption can warp what you're attracted to. If you only ever watch movies with big-boobed women wearing too much makeup and lingerie, your mind might have difficulties equating "normal" women with sex.
 
Just would like to say thanks to you guys for telling me about myself in the last tread. I look back and want to headbutt a knife over how I acted over the situation. I was such a bitch and could have handled things so much better.

I have a date lined up on Wednesday which im sure I would have never got with the same outlook I had back then, so again, thank you. Ill be sure to not get too drunk and post like last time ahahah.

I guess sometimes you just need a bunch of anonymous people to rip you a new one.
 
Going to meet up with a friend of a friend for lunch this saturday, I've met her before and we had good chemistry. I'm going to have a lot more time to date now that I...
Finished Persona 5. 109 hours. I don't know why I bothered, considering it just left me with a void in my heart like P4G ending did. I'll come good again, but these games usually leave me feeling a little numb for a couple days after I've beaten them. I don't know, maybe mediking will know what I mean haha. 10/10 goty tho

Edit: Fuck, top of page isn't where I wanted to be.

j.rob said:
.
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Best of luck dude, great to see you're in a better place than you were!
 
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