• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Did you ever took a dump so large you had to break it in half in order for it go away down the toilet

Did you ever gave birth to a monster that wouldn't go down the toilet?

  • yes

    Votes: 20 39.2%

  • no

    Votes: 23 45.1%

  • I poop only flowers and rainbows

    Votes: 8 15.7%
  • Total voters
    51
Status
Not open for further replies.
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
So, did you?
I did a few times. This one time I didn't poop for 4 days and I was eating a lot of ham, sausages and bacon. After 4 days I finally needed to go. It was so large, it couldn't go down the toilet.
I flushed and it wouldn't go away. It was so huge. So I had to use the toilet brush to break it in half/mush it in order for it go go down.
After it went down I cleaned the brush with flushing a few times. All was good.

So, how bout you? Did you ever gave birth to a monster that wouldn't go down the toilet?
 
Last edited:
ScarletSpider

ScarletSpider

Banned
No, and that’s that the good lord’s honest truth. Now, that’s not to say I’m above it. I ain’t. Matter of fact, I’ve taken shits where it’s just a literal mountain of shit. Every time it happens I mutter “revenge of shit mountain” and ask my old lady if she wants to peep it before I flush, which is obviously a plunger-required experience. I’m pretty sure I got that “shit mountain” thing from an old thread here as a matter of fact.

Edit: fixed typos
 
Last edited:
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
ScarletSpider said:
No, and that’s that the good lord’s honest truth. Now, that’s not to say I’m above it. I ain’t. Matter of fact, I’ve taken shits where it’s just a literal mountain of shit. Every time it happens I mutter “revenge of shit mountain” and ask my old lady if she wants to peep it before I flush, which is obviously a plunger-required experience. I’m pretty sure I got that “shit mountain” thing from an old thread here as a matter of fact.

Edit: fixed typos
Click to expand...
I find this hilarious. But I understand that. I used to take a picture when I took a large dump. I was proud I guess.
 
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
Thaedolus said:
Your title says gold member but I think you’re stone
Click to expand...
tumblr_opxwgorioa1saea7uo3_400.gifv
 
Last edited:
Robot Carnival

Robot Carnival

Member
had a HUGE one a few days ago (about the size of a Red Bull can but longer) and I was kinda worry it won't flush, but good thing my toilet is one of those old ones that has a strong flush.
 
Rbk_3

Rbk_3

Member
I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

"My what?"

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML.

I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.
 
Jaxx_377

Jaxx_377

Neo Member
My wife sends me an image like this almost every week from her work, some even bigger. She consistantly clogs the toilet at her medical practice and hides while maintenance come up and fixes the clog.


ANFsE1q.jpg

If that came out of my ass Id go home for the day.
 
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
Jaxx_377 said:
My wife sends me an image like this almost every week from her work, some even bigger. She consistantly clogs the toilet at her medical practice and hides while maintenance come up and fixes the clog.



If that came out of my ass Id go home for the day.
Click to expand...
That's not normal, man. There's something wrong with her. I don't mean the size I mean the bubbles. It's so wavy and bubbly.
This is what "normal poop" is supposed to look like.
WARNING, GRAPHIC IMAGE, NOT SAFE FOR WORK NOR TO LOOK AT

83029743-595785454608864-5504081897849880576-n.jpg
 
Jaxx_377

Jaxx_377

Neo Member
Elektro_Demon said:
That's not normal, man. There's something wrong with her. I don't mean the size I mean the bubbles. It's so wavy and bubbly.
This is what "normal poop" is supposed to look like.
WARNING, GRAPHIC IMAGE, NOT SAFE FOR WORK NOR TO LOOK AT

83029743-595785454608864-5504081897849880576-n.jpg
Click to expand...

I agree, it's like a bunch of small poops get together to storm the gates. Her doctor told her to drink more water and eat more fiber.
 
Mohonky

Mohonky

Member
Nope; but I sometimes have to take a shit that requires me to go full on early man and remove my clothes because I find it too restricting and then I have to really concentrate to the point the grimacing cUses my facial cheek muscles to burn.

.....and yet never have I dropped a log capable of not being flushed.

Mine do have almost tentacle like grip to the side of the bowl tho.
 
GymWolf

GymWolf

Member
Jaxx_377 said:
My wife sends me an image like this almost every week from her work, some even bigger. She consistantly clogs the toilet at her medical practice and hides while maintenance come up and fixes the clog.


ANFsE1q.jpg

If that came out of my ass Id go home for the day.
Click to expand...
I don't know why, but i have mad respect for a woman that can make that monstruosity on a daily bases.
 
GymWolf

GymWolf

Member
NeoIkaruGAF said:
I still took an unflushable dump once. I was at my GF's house and I was so terrified to not see it flush that I didn't think to use the toilet brush to break it. So I called my GF, she took a look, was horrified, but then said "zero initiative, huh?", grabbed the brush and proceeded to get rid of the monster.
Click to expand...
I took a shit like 4-5 times a day so they are little compared to people that only shits 1 time a day (probably).
 
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
NeoIkaruGAF said:
I still took an unflushable dump once. I was at my GF's house and I was so terrified to not see it flush that I didn't think to use the toilet brush to break it. So I called my GF, she took a look, was horrified, but then said "zero initiative, huh?", grabbed the brush and proceeded to get rid of the monster.
Click to expand...
You need to marry that girl.

Also, I found this while browsing the never ending sea of videos over on youtube. It's insane.
Dude's filming himself taking a dump at walmart but then there's a guy in the comments asking if he can get in touch with him. I guess he wants to take dumps together.
It's hilarious. I had to post it here. "I'm also a shitter" I died, I fucking died.
bbBk8SA.jpg
:messenger_tears_of_joy::messenger_tears_of_joy::messenger_tears_of_joy::messenger_tears_of_joy::messenger_tears_of_joy:
 
Last edited:
M

MadAnon

Member
Wtf is that monstrosity? Does she eat white bread all day every day? I wouldn't be surprised if she has huge hemorrhoids after shitting bricks like that regularly.🤮

Get some oats, veggies, fruits and water in her diet immediately!
 
Last edited:
ThatStupidLion

ThatStupidLion

Member
CyberPanda said:
Tip: Use laundry detergent to break the poop up. Just put a capful in the toilet, and let it sit for 5 minutes or more. The enzymes in the detergent break the poop up really well, and it will go down the toilet like butter. You're welcome.
Click to expand...

im suspicious of you Panda
 
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
Yoshi said:
He was here for around a year and only posted about poo. Or shitposted. Often both at the same time.
Click to expand...
My threads are based on real life. I have no reason to lie to you people. I'm a pretty open person. Not the sanest person ever, I admit.
But I did notice that I'm talking about death and shit a bit too much lately.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

I've had a rough Christmas and I just want to vent
45
4K
Dev1lXYZ replied
  • Locked
The Crimson Fleet vs UC SysDef quest chain in Starfield is some of the worst shit I've seen in any role-playing game ever
2
67
8K
BigLee74 replied
  • Poll
IGN: Resident Evil 5 simply can't be remade, at least not to the standards of Capcom's best work. So the answer is not to remake, but to rewrite.
2 3 4 5
247
16K
laynelane replied
I'm having a second honeymoon with Cyberpunk 2077 after revisiting it for the first time since the disastrous launch
2 3
145
7K
DeaDPo0L84 replied
LTTP: Lords of the Fallen (2023) | Great potential, bad design decisions
Opinion LTTP
11
1K
ChoosableOne replied
Top Bottom