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Do Americans have Christmas crackers?

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Pumpkin pie is just disappointment in an edible format.

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Usually its the paper crown, fake moustache (or frog), and bad joke, but one year we got some "Luxury" Christmas Crackers - inside were things like keyfobs, and pen knives, and travel clocks - I got a mini screwdriver set.

Ah, I see this has already been covered.

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the crackers, the pigs in a blanket, the mince pies, the shortbread, the yule log, the raw nuts, the pudding, and the trifle... oh the trifle. And of course the turkey.

Brussel sprouts can go straight to hell though.
 
I asked my British coworker about this heresy when I took over for her tonight. She got all excited and started telling me about this little keychain deck of cards she got from one, and how she found one in a Christmas store here but it was $20. Then she starts talking about advent calendars and how American ones don't have chocolate. Then she brings up American chocolate and how terrible it is. Says she goes to a specialty chocolate store in the city and sticks to the English section She makes a gagging sound to describe a Hershey bar. I bring up the cookies and cream bar. She gives me an unimpressed look.

GAF, how do I get someone deported?
 
I asked my British coworker about this heresy when I took over for her tonight. She got all excited and started telling me about this little keychain deck of cards she got from one, and how she found one in a Christmas store here but it was $20. Then she starts talking about advent calendars and how American ones don't have chocolate. Then she brings up American chocolate and how terrible it is. Says she goes to a specialty chocolate store in the city and sticks to the English section She makes a gagging sound to describe a Hershey bar. I bring up the cookies and cream bar. She gives me an unimpressed look.

GAF, how do I get someone deported?
We Brits are allergic to American chocolate, it tastes like women's farts and vegetable fat.
 
No, I don't have any Christmas crackers. What, do you think I'm just fucking made of GP? Those things were worth millions of gold when I fucking played RuneScape, I can't imagine what they're worth nowadays. And don't get me started on fucking partyhats, all those maxed level 126 motherfuckers strutting around with their fucking status-symbol blue and white partyhats on showing off just how rich they were when I would have killed for so much as a chance to PK someone for a purple!

But noooo, I'm just down here in the eternal struggle with my poverty gear, grindin' for weeks to afford a whip and decent armor. Fuck.
Lol the crackers and partyhats are ridiculously expensive nowadays. Is it sad that runescape was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread? :p
 
Lol the crackers and partyhats are ridiculously expensive nowadays. Is it sad that runescape was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread? :p

That reminds me i had a blue halloween mask on my account when i quit about 5 years ago. Worth anything?
 
I asked my British coworker about this heresy when I took over for her tonight. She got all excited and started telling me about this little keychain deck of cards she got from one, and how she found one in a Christmas store here but it was $20. Then she starts talking about advent calendars and how American ones don't have chocolate. Then she brings up American chocolate and how terrible it is. Says she goes to a specialty chocolate store in the city and sticks to the English section She makes a gagging sound to describe a Hershey bar. I bring up the cookies and cream bar. She gives me an unimpressed look.

GAF, how do I get someone deported?
All this made me do is get up and get a chocolate bar
 
That reminds me i had a blue halloween mask on my account when i quit about 5 years ago. Worth anything?

Yes they are like a 109M on the grand exchange but the street price is probably several hundred mils. If you still remember your account details you should help a fellow scaper out ;)
 
This thread is making me glad I haven't been unfortunate enough to experience a british christmas, 'murica all the way



What
No
Pumpkin pie is the best pie

Some things just don't translate across countries. Pumpkin pie and root beer are flavors that non-americans struggle to appreciate.
 
Some things just don't translate across countries. Pumpkin pie and root beer are flavors that non-americans struggle to appreciate.

I can understand that. I have learned to like pumpkin pie, I struggled at first but now it my favorite type of pie. I still don't like root beer though, but I do like root beer floats.
 
American reporting in that root beer, pumpkin pie and Hershey's chocolate are all last resort options

It's why they smear that shitty peanut butter in their chocolate, by the time the saltiness has passed the gag reflex has eased.

so fucking true
 
I think I will go to some import stores to see if I can find these this year.

Just to be clear to everyone, Christmas in America is not uniform across the country.

It is a time when people bring out family specific traditions, regional traditions, and reach far back into their heritage.

So while my family doesn't make mincemeat pies, I would not be at all surprised if my neighbor does. My father is from Mexico, we always make tamales in addition to a big Christmas dinner. Other families bring traditions from Russia, Germany or china. My mother sometimes makes some steamed pudding thing that is really old world, and unlike anything she cooks normally. That comes from some tradition in her family from way back.

Popular depictions of Christmas in media will boil it down to what everyone shares, Christmas tree, presents, santa, turkey dinner....but it won't show the more unique aspects that every family includes in their celebration.
 
I've always thought of them as universal aspect of Christmas celebrations but apparently Americans don't bother with them? Is this true or is Wikipedia lying again?

They're not common, but you can buy them at craft stores, holiday stores, and even Wal-Mart.

My family gets them most years, but not many other Americans do.
 
Fruit Cakes are probably the saddest holiday dessert item.
Like for real, who eats that shit?
No one, that's who.

Are you in the US? Fruitcake is pretty much treated as a joke here. No one seems to like them. I think Johnny carson used to joke that there is actually only one fruitcake in existence, and it is just passed from family to family. Not sure if it is like that in other countries.
 
I'll admit to liking pumpkin pie and the occasional root beer, but in solidarity with everyone else who has tasted the glory that is British chocolate, I can confidently say American chocolate is fucking horrendous. In particular, Hershey's is just... dear God, it should be illegal to fit that much disappointment into that small a package.
 
Some moron forgot to buy the crackers. I'm not sure I can make it through the day with my sanity intact if I can't wear a paper hat.
 
I asked my British coworker about this heresy when I took over for her tonight. She got all excited and started telling me about this little keychain deck of cards she got from one, and how she found one in a Christmas store here but it was $20. Then she starts talking about advent calendars and how American ones don't have chocolate. Then she brings up American chocolate and how terrible it is. Says she goes to a specialty chocolate store in the city and sticks to the English section She makes a gagging sound to describe a Hershey bar. I bring up the cookies and cream bar. She gives me an unimpressed look.

GAF, how do I get someone deported?

Which is all the more hilarious because British chocolate is vile shit. I mean cadbury is chocolate for animals. It's true Hershey sucks, but at least the US has very good chocolate (Tcho, Vosges, taza, many others) which can is easily findable in big cities. I have not yet found good British chocolate (I just moved to London) though I am sure it exists.

On topic, I brought crackers to my family this year, and everyone was thoroughly unimpressed. The 'bang' was barely audible, and the presents useless trash (it was the 'fancy' crackers kind with screwdrivers and shit). The joke sucked. I don't think I will be adopting this tradition.
 
On topic, I brought crackers to my family this year, and everyone was thoroughly unimpressed. The 'bang' was barely audible, and the presents useless trash (it was the 'fancy' crackers kind with screwdrivers and shit). The joke sucked. I don't think I will be adopting this tradition.

You got a screwdriver set?? That's the best prize!

And yes the jokes are always rubbish. And once you've been in the UK for a few Christmases you will know all of them.

Anyway, only a couple of hours to the best meal of the year. I can't wait! Will be wearing my paper crown soon.
 
That reminds me i had a blue halloween mask on my account when i quit about 5 years ago. Worth anything?

Yeah about 100m haha, feel free to donate it to a worthy cause (me). Give it a few more years and it'll be worth a billion probably.

OT: Crackers are essential for Christmas, Americans are missing out on waking up old people who fall asleep during Christmas dinner to the sound of exploding gunpowder.
 
The only fruit cake worth eating is the German Stollen, everyone in Europe loves that. Don't think the U.S has it in stores unless you buy it from a German store? It's entirely different to other fruit cakes. The marzipan is what makes it amazing and spices.

fancy-stollen-december-1st.jpg
 
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