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Dolphinfucker: The Book

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J

JoeBoy101

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No. Not kidding.

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A 58-year-old writer is revealing that he had an intimate relationship with a dolphin in the 1970s.

In 1971, Malcolm Brenner says he began a nine-month emotional and sexual relationship with a dolphin named Ruby.

His passionate, real-life romance with the marine mammal is the basis for his new novel, Wet Goddess: Recollections Of A Dolphin Lover (Brenner).

Brenner met the sea seductress while taking photos of Ruby for a Florida amusement park and things escalated from there.

He says the dolphin would nuzzle, flirt, and dance for him in the water, making it known that she wanted something more than friendship.

The constant “come-ons” led Brenner to look at Ruby as a person. At the dolphin’s suggestion they got physical and engaged in sex, an experience he calls “phenomenal.”

Brenner suspects many people have had similar affairs with dolphins because the animals are so human-like. By the way, beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida.

Brenner says a relationship with a dolphin is hard because they’re clingy and “require attention 24/7.” Since his tryst with Ruby, he’s never loved another.
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The happy 'couple':
20100405dolphinman.jpg
 
How do you not click this thread? How?! :lol
 
beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida.
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Florida never ceases to amaze...

Brenner says a relationship with a dolphin is hard because they’re clingy and “require attention 24/7.”
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typical male, afraid of commitment...
 
God damn why can't I find a picture of that creepy dolphin guy on the internet anywhere. When I type "creepy dolphin guy" into Google he should be the first thing to pop up.
 
KevinCow said:
God damn why can't I find a picture of that creepy dolphin guy on the internet anywhere. When I type "creepy dolphin guy" into Google he should be the first thing to pop up.
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Oh you're just beggin' for an avatar quote, aren't ya? No way. Not doin' it.
 
At the dolphin’s suggestion they got physical and engaged in sex, an experience he calls “phenomenal.”
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That's the part that gets me. Really? How exactly did the dolphin suggest it? Palm him a Magnum?
 
Tarazet said:
Ordered and will cheerfully report back with a synopsis.
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My synopsis

n38383.jpg


Bestiality not being illegal isn´t bad as long as actually having sex with an animal is prohibited by animal protection laws. So no bestiality law doesn´t always mean sheep fucking is legal.


PS: Whale wars from SP is on right now. This gives "Fuck you dorphin!" a whole new meaning. Maybe Japanese are scorned dolphin lovers out for revenge?
 
Well, the thread title says it all.

I guess some people just wanna bang dolphins. The internet has damaged by ability to be shocked and surprised.

JoeBoy101 said:
That's the part that gets me. Really? How exactly did the dolphin suggest it? Palm him a Magnum?
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Oh I think you know how.
 
Binabik15 said:
Bestiality not being illegal isn´t bad as long as actually having sex with an animal is prohibited by animal protection laws. So no bestiality law doesn´t always mean sheep fucking is legal.
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Couldn't he just take her out to international waters though?
 
First time a story taking place in my hometown has been posted here :lol

Of course it had to be about dolphin fucking.
 
This heard this guy one time he went extremly into disgusting detail even explaining how they have excellent control over their sexual organ.
 
Slate's advice column once printed a letter from someone claiming to discover they were sexually aroused by dolphins after a visit to an aquarium park. The guy gave the writer the benefit of the doubt and addressed the issue straightforwardly, with the caveat that he mostly assumed his leg was being pulled.

I kind of wonder if this is like a decades-long running joke or meme.
 
I guess this is a good place to ask this:

I read a book a long time ago about some guy studying a pack of dolphins and eventually spending enough time with them till he was accepted as part of the family; he ended up sleeping with one of the female dolphins... I remember reading the book and being freaked out when it happened - I think I was about 12 or 13 at the time but I cannot remember the name of the book. I almost feels like it was a dream but I'm hundred percent sure it isn't.
 
JoeBoy101 said:
Why does that phrase no longer seem absurd to me anymore?
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Bestiality is as old as animal domestication. Taking a broader view of our history as a species, it's an extremely common practice. It's not hard to understand why it used to be widely practiced, either. The only difference now is that we have a social taboo against it.
 
ok, so he did it.... i guess I can get my head around it, people are weird.

Writing the book is a bit of a head scratcher though.
 
Man... any girl he's ever called ugly must feel like shit right now.

catfish said:
ok, so he did it.... i guess I can get my head around it, people are weird.

Writing the book is a bit of a head scratcher though.
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Maybe he's trying to raise awareness that dolphins can and should be fucked?
 
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