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Dumb *fictional* evil companies?

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Do the Decepticons count?

They are pretty shit at everything they do. Megatron keeps going on about being the most powerful weapon in the universe yet he can't even conquer the earth.
 
Shinra? "Hey we control the world already, but lets fuck it up!"

Umbrella. Does this even need to be discussed?
I think Shinra became powerful because they were using the Mako Reactors. Which seems weird because it I don't believe they were powering anything else besides Midgar and maybe their bases/research labs.

Their biggest problems were unearthing an Eldritch Abomination and injecting its DNA into soldiers.
 
There's some alternate Resident Evil universe where Spencer stood up to his board of directors and told them about his plan to make horrible zombies and monsters from viruses and the directors just fired him because mansions and monsters and mercenaries are just distracting from the excellent growth that Umbrella has experienced in the first aid and erectile dysfunction medication markets.
 
Weyland-Yutani's policies seemed self-destructive. I understand the fact that one of Cameron's common themes is to cast a cynical view on big business, but I can't believe any corporation is that dumb.
 
Omni Consumer Products
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They were big meanies in Robocop movies and tv show. Not to mention they always manage to fail in their ploys.
 
Team Magma/Aqua

"I hate water, let's just cover it all up with land by releasing this giant fucking pokemon"
"I hate land, let's just cover it all up with water by releasing this giant fucking pokemon"
"Maybe this was a bad idea..."

Thiiissss! So fucking dumb, lol
 
Umbrella's problems are technically in a span of months/a year. They had investors while working in secret on biological warfare stuff, not exactly "dumb." Especially since those investors basically stopped investing as soon as the "Raccoon City Incident"/Bio2-3 happened and 3's nuking of an entire Midwestern town brought the company and their stuff to light. By 2005 (though I think Bio:Umbrella Chronicles "exclusive"/canon-chapter was based in 2003? Which was skeleton crew but still "dead"?) the company was already gone.

</canon nerd>

So as far as like the 1970-1990's Umbrella? Not really stupid.
 
What evil company in movies, television, etc. do you think is the most hilariously incompetent? My bet would probably have to go to Umbrella. How many facilities do you have to lose to zombies before you realize that they may not be the best choice business-wise?

I immediatly thought of Umbrella when I read your post. How many times do things need to go horribly wrong?

Also, InGen post-Hammond retirement. Because they thought bringing a T-rex to San Diego was a good and reasonable way to make money.
 
Any company run by a Captain Planet villain.

Turn an entire tree into a single elevator button? Sure. Plastic is so 1991.

Have a bunch of crude oil? Don't sell it! Dump it into the ocean!
 
Umbrella's problems are technically in a span of months/a year. They had investors while working in secret on biological warfare stuff, not exactly "dumb." Especially since those investors basically stopped investing as soon as the "Raccoon City Incident"/Bio2-3 happened and 3's nuking of an entire Midwestern town brought the company and their stuff to light. By 2005 (though I think Bio:Umbrella Chronicles "exclusive"/canon-chapter was based in 2003? Which was skeleton crew but still "dead"?) the company was already gone.

</canon nerd>

So as far as like the 1970-1990's Umbrella? Not really stupid.

We're talking more about their business decisions rather than their failure at coverups. Poor decision-making on their part played a huge role in the leadup to their downfall. Their pharmaceutical front probably made more money than their biological weapons business did. On top of that, their founders were nuts and most of their creations are insanely impractical (vital organs on outside of body is probably a bad idea). And while the Umbrella from the games is questionable, Umbrella from the movies is just baffling. Why were they selling biological weapons to countries DURING the zombie apocalypse? Why is the Red Queen actively trying to destroy humanity to maintain the company when a company needs consumers to function? And whose bright idea was it to turn the person whose life they screwed up the most into the ultimate weapon?
 
Team Rocket.

But do crime syndicates really count as companies? But if we're going to include them, Team Aqua/Team Magma from RSE have got to be the most incompetent of the Pokemon villains. Not only because they get beat by a kid like the rest of them, they're main motivations are incredibly lame.
 
At least the later Resident Evil games explained that the old heads of Umbrella were some kind of weirdos who thought that zombie viruses would give people immortal superpowers if they just researched them long enough.

That was the point of the series from the very beginning. The bioweapons were a side-project. The entire concept of the series mythology spawned from a Japanese scientist's theory about viruses being an important component to evolution.

We're talking more about their business decisions rather than their failure at coverups. Poor decision-making on their part played a huge role in the leadup to their downfall. Their pharmaceutical front probably made more money than their biological weapons business did. On top of that, their founders were nuts and most of their creations are insanely impractical (vital organs on outside of body is probably a bad idea). And while the Umbrella from the games is questionable, Umbrella from the movies is just baffling. Why were they selling biological weapons to countries DURING the zombie apocalypse? Why is the Red Queen actively trying to destroy humanity to maintain the company when a company needs consumers to function? And whose bright idea was it to turn the person whose life they screwed up the most into the ultimate weapon?

Bioweapons made as much if not more than the pharmaceutical front. Meanwhile, the B.O.W.s with organs on the outside were proof-of-concept prototypes. They remove it later.

Umbrella (in the games) is fine. They've actually never directly caused any incidents in the series:

BIO0/1: Accident (caused by Marcus)
BIO2/3: Intentional Leak & Accident (caused by Birkin)
BIOCV: Attacked by rival company
GS: Goldman leaks virus because he's a psychopath trying to cover up his murders.
GS4: Morpheus leaks virus on boat, virus leaks in his facility because of his lack of care.

So on and so forth. The people who instantly mention Umbrella as an example of a "dumb" company either don't actually pay attention or just go with the whole "lol something with zombies can't have a decent story" thing.
 
Virtucon.
Virtucon owns cable companies in 38 states, a steel mill in Cleveland, shipping in Texas, oil refineries in Seattle and a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories. Also majority institutional shareholder of coffee chain Starbucks.
Think about it, this is a world-class multi-billion-dollar company (it got made this way over the years the actual owner was away), then when the owner comes back, he squanders its income on some of the stupidest schemes to make less money than his own company actually makes.
 
Any company trying to monetize on dangerous animals/aliens/creatures as "bio-weapons", with them consistently ending up backfiring, is pretty stupid.

I mean a good bio weapon would be a powerful and easily spreadable but controllable virus, not a giant frog with claws.
I'd take Ebola over a Xenomorph.
 
Any company trying to monetize on dangerous animals/aliens/creatures as "bio-weapons", with them consistently ending up backfiring, is pretty stupid.

I mean a good bio weapon would be a powerful and easily spreadable but controllable virus, not a giant frog with claws.
I'd take Ebola over a Xenomorph.

The thing is, in Resident Evil, they are tried, proven and work. Umbrella makes billions on them and they give the company quite a bit of political influence. Otherwise they wouldn't be there. The accidents you see don't reflect on their actual effectiveness.

This is in comparison to Alien, where the entire concept of a Xenomorph bioweapon is pretty much just a hunch. There's also the whole thing about what you see in a given story is what you're bound by. Xenomorph's could be extremely effective as a replacement for regular human soldiers. But the story only shows you what happens when they are in situations quite different from their purpose in war.
 
Virtucon.

Think about it, this is a world-class multi-billion-dollar company (it got made this way over the years the actual owner was away), then when the owner comes back, he squanders its income on some of the stupidest schemes to make less money than his own company actually makes.

But ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
 
That was the point of the series from the very beginning. The bioweapons were a side-project.



Bioweapons made as much if not more than the pharmaceutical front. Meanwhile, the B.O.W.s with organs on the outside were proof-of-concept prototypes. They remove it later.

Umbrella (in the games) is fine. They've actually never directly caused any incidents in the series:

BIO0/1: Accident (caused by Marcus)
BIO2/3: Intentional Leak & Accident (caused by Birkin)
BIOCV: Attacked by rival company
GS: Goldman leaks virus because he's a psychopath trying to cover up his murders.
GS4: Morpheus leaks virus on boat, virus leaks in his facility because of his lack of care.

So on and so forth. The people who instantly mention Umbrella as an example of a "dumb" company either don't actually pay attention or just go with the whole "lol something with zombies can't have a decent story" thing.

Birkin only leaked it because Umbrella's soldiers shot him and stole the samples. On top of that, they released unstable BOW's into the city to cover up the evidence, who then mutated out their controlled and tried to go on murder sprees to create more evidence against them. That, coupled with improper disposal of bioweapons qualifies as incompetence. Besides, if you sell people the virus to start the zombie apocalypse, what exactly would you plan to do with the money? The currency in the apocalypse is bottle caps so it's all worthless. There's no off button to stop the zombies once they've done their jobs as bioweapons. They keep spreading.The zombies are too hard to contain, the BOW's had a bad habit of mutating out of control after getting shot at too many times, and there was really no way that Umbrella could have come out of that business strategy with their finances intact. I'm sorry but zombie creatures just don't seem like a viable business move, especially ones that can be defeated by random groups of 2 people and were meant to take on whole armies.
 
What evil company in movies, television, etc. do you think is the most hilariously incompetent? My bet would probably have to go to Umbrella. How many facilities do you have to lose to zombies before you realize that they may not be the best choice business-wise?

EDIT: Keep it fictional, guys.

im gonna also go with Umbrella... and who is still giving them all this money to make facilities after all this lol
 
Birkin only leaked it because Umbrella's soldiers shot him and stole the samples. On top of that, they released unstable BOW's into the city to cover up the evidence, who then mutated out their controlled and tried to go on murder sprees to create more evidence against them. That, coupled with improper disposal of bioweapons qualifies as incompetence. Besides, if you sell people the virus to start the zombie apocalypse, what exactly would you plan to do with the money? The currency in the apocalypse is bottle caps so it's all worthless. There's no off button to stop the zombies once they've done their jobs as bioweapons. They keep spreading.The zombies are too hard to contain, the BOW's had a bad habit of mutating out of control after getting shot at too many times, and there was really no way that Umbrella could have come out of that business strategy with their finances intact. I'm sorry but zombie creatures just don't seem like a viable business move.

1) Birkin leaked the virus in the sewers long before he was ever actually attacked. He knew he would be, so he leaked the virus to cause an outbreak that would slow down Umbrella's agents. He then causes a second, larger leak after becoming a monster.

2) Umbrella didn't release a single "unstable" B.O.W. into the city. It released the Tyrant T-103, which was their best product. They also deployed Nemesis-T Type in order for it to demonstrate its effectiveness... and it did very well. They mutate out of their control after much damage they normally wouldn't receive. Vats of molten steel, chemical incinerators and magnetic rail cannons aren't going to be lying around.

They also deployed Hunters, but these were already one of their most effective bioweapons. There was no hope of any evidence being produced by the bioweapons in the city because Umbrella's political influence already cut-off all media within the city and blockaded it. Anyone who escaped was taken into custody by the U.S. Army, and either executed or recruited into a top-secret unit whose ulterior purpose was to prevent knowledge on bioweapons getting out. Then the missile wiped out whatever evidence was in the city itself.

3) Umbrella disposes of all their bioweapons properly (usually via incineration, whether chemical, molten or flames). The only time it didn't was when certain employees intentionally overloaded their processing capacity to cause an outbreak.

4) There is no "zombie apocalypse" in the games. Umbrella also hired mercenaries specifically for the purpose of clearing up any outbreaks caused by their bioweapons. These were also highly effective.

5) Zombies weren't sold as a bioweapon. They are also extremely easy to deal with if you have a decently sized military unit and could be controlled (in a way) by the Tyrant, although I can't mention anymore about that right now.

6) No B.O.W. went out of control from mere shooting. It took a vat of molten steel for the Tyrant T-103. For Nemesis-T it took chemical incineration... and even then it retained its objective and could only be stopped after being blasted several times with a magnetic rail cannon... only to keep attempting to accomplish its objective before either being destroyed by a revolver or a missile.
 
3) Umbrella disposes of all their bioweapons properly (usually via incineration, whether chemical, molten or flames). The only time it didn't was when certain employees intentionally overloaded their processing capacity to cause an outbreak.

4) There is no "zombie apocalypse" in the games. Umbrella also hired mercenaries specifically for the purpose of clearing up any outbreaks caused by their bioweapons. These were also highly effective.

I've always thought that Wesker was ironically their most successful Tyrant.

T.A.L.O.S. went out of control from mere shooting, and the factory overload was caused by lab waste. The mansion's self-destruct sequence was meant to destroy any traces of Umbrella's involvement, which included any infected or BOW's, it took care of most, but not all. I wasn't referring to the zombies themselves being shipped out, I meant the virus. They didn't do a very decent job of disposing of Lisa Trevor either. Wasn't the possible beginning of the zombie apocalypse the point of Resident Evil 6? You have to admit that their employee roster is questionable, though.

I'll give you the other points, though. Umbrella's taking up WAAAAY too much space on this thread. I gotta stop it before this turns into a lore fight and gets sent to Gaming GAF.

All GAF members proceed to the bottom platform.

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Does CTU from 24 count? The hiring process they use must absolutely suck because of the crazy amount of moles they've had AND they never listen to the one person who saves the US time and time again: Jack Bauer.
 
I've always thought that Wesker was ironically their most successful Tyrant.

T.A.L.O.S. went out of control from mere shooting, and the factory overload was caused by lab waste. The mansion's self-destruct sequence was meant to destroy any traces of Umbrella's involvement, which included any infected or BOW's, it took care of most, but not all. I wasn't referring to the zombies themselves being shipped out, I meant the virus. They didn't do a very decent job of disposing of Lisa Trevor either. Wasn't the possible beginning of the zombie apocalypse the point of Resident Evil 6?

Umbrella's taking up WAAAAY too much space on this thread.

Wesker isn't a Tyrant in any way. He's a defective superhuman. T-A.L.O.S. remained under control, it just mutated in form. Lisa Trevor was biologically immortal, so they kept her around as a test subject. She didn't become a danger until she was left completely alone after everyone else was infected. The explosion of the mansion eradicated all creatures inside. The only exceptions would be the few Zombies and Cerberus that were already out in the forest for months.

Umbrella never once sold the t-Virus, and its very existence was a secret to its customers and its rivals. The only time they began to sell it was after 1999 when they had been crippled as a company, and by then there were several organizations able to deal with any problems that arose as a result. Then there's the fact that Zombies alone aren't much of an issue unless there were many, and there weren't a lot of potential customers with the ability to create many.

But yeah, haha.
 
Weyland-Yutani. At some point you'd figure out that monetizing ravenous uncontrollable alien monsters as "biological weapons" would be a bad idea. I mean... was there a boardroom pitch where some dude stood up and explained his plan to have the company enter the killer alien monster business?

What's sad is that it's mentioned that they also want to get all the alien gene patents and use it for treating diseases and genetic enhancements. Something much easier (and probably more profitable) to do than taming the most dangerous creature in the universe.
 
What's sad is that it's mentioned that they also want to get all the alien gene patents and use it for treating diseases and genetic enhancements. Something much easier (and probably more profitable) to do than taming the most dangerous creature in the universe.

How much do you reckon soldier salaries, equipment, medical care, etc cost in that world? Offsetting those expenses + having a weapon even more effective and durable than human soldiers in general is still quite a profitable venture. I really fail to see why this never gets taken into consideration most of the time.

Stories often depict accidents or "on the loose" scenarios, and people just assume that's the case all of the time.
 
Lol @ the graveyard. Hot damn. Umbrella is pretty fucking dumb; all that evil for evil's sake crap. I wonder if its a parody of some real agency out there.

Edit: I'm purely basing my opinion off the movies.
 
Does CTU from 24 count? The hiring process they use must absolutely suck because of the crazy amount of moles they've had AND they never listen to the one person who saves the US time and time again: Jack Bauer.

It's a non-evil government agency.

Virtucon is from a parody.

Madrigal is pretty stupid, why would a corporation ever get involved with drugs? How would that even work with accountants and audits every year?
 
Weyland-Yutani. At some point you'd figure out that monetizing ravenous uncontrollable alien monsters as "biological weapons" would be a bad idea. I mean... was there a boardroom pitch where some dude stood up and explained his plan to have the company enter the killer alien monster business?

I think Yutani was fine on its own. It only planned to mass produce predator technology, which is evil, but is actually a pretty good idea. Weyland is the real dumbass of that partnership. It was run by a crazy old guy who wanted to be immortal and planned to use an intelligent species like they were attack dogs.
 
Madrigal is pretty stupid, why would a corporation ever get involved with drugs? How would that even work with accountants and audits every year?

Wasn't it just a handful of Madrigal employees, all doing it as a side-business for personal profit? Their positions in the company just gave them access to resources.
 
In this thread I learned that people literally don't read the OP. I always assumed it was because people just skimmed but nope, apparently even three sentences is too much. That explains a lot.

As for what company, it had to be Umbrella. They are going on, what, like 7 outbreaks now? C'Mon son.

This thread taught you that? Damn, I'm just shocked this doesn't happen often like a GAF speed trap.
 
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