SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
As a writer, it's after reading all of this where my level of belief in your story begins to wane. It's a bit too methodical in the wording.
No offence.
As a writer, you ought to know that holding an audiences attention when regaling them with a story - fiction or not, requires a certain literary finesse.
See any "I JUST SHIT MY PANTS IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!" story.