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Fatherhood and gaming: How does one cope with it?

I will be in this situation from january. Not my own daughter, but by then I will be living with my fiancee and her 3 years-old daughter; and we plan to have more children if everything is fine.

I know I will only be able to play handheld games for some time, but that's fine. Also I can't wait to teach Ana the beauty of Mario Kart and Super Mario when she grows a bit older. And possible the beauty of Picross to her mother.

I hope that being a Nintendo fan myself will make things easier in terms of the games I/we will play at home.
 
First of all congratulations on the baby! ;)

Have you heard of the Vita yet? I would pre-order that and coming May you'll be set.
 
Got one coming in March. I'm not too worried about it tbh, my friends have an 18 month old so I have a pretty good idea of what to expect.
 
stalker said:
I hope that being a Nintendo fan myself will make things easier in terms of the games I/we will play at home.
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Yeah, us Nintendo gamers might get a better wrap. Mario games are perfect for toddlers.
 
congrats. Being a father is amazing experience. Gaming wil be last thing you wznt once you have baby you need to take care of baby and mom from now on.
you can game on weekends and some evening times.
 
I've a 5 and 7 year old (both boys). They've basically hijacked my gaming systems at the weekend (they're not allowed to play during the week). But you get a lot of joy seeing your kids playing Mario and Sonic for the first time.

That only leaves the evenings but I feel guilty stealing the tv from my wife or I'm too tired so gaming has basically ground to a halt and when I do, it's normally for around a hour or so. I've seriously lost the ability to play longer.
 
AgentOtaku said:
And that's one thing I'll definitely stress. Get them on a good sleep schedule and NEVER budge from it. Our son has been going to bed at 730-8pm, 90 percent of the time since he was born. This affords the wife and I plenty of me time as well as just breaks in a good habit.
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This, this a thousand times this. We had a horrible period where the oldest twin would go to bed at 7pm, then wake an hour later, settle for 10 minutes then would need me to sit in with her for around an hour while she went back to sleep. After that, she would wake several times during the night, often needing another hour of cuddles before she went back to sleep for a few more hours. Utterly soul-destroying, as it meant I spent my entire day chasing round girls and doing housework, then my evening readying them for bed and sitting with them while they slept, only to return downstairs to do the last bit of housework before going to bed myself. No time for anything, let alone gaming!

Now that both she and her sister are in solid 7pm bedtimes and are sleeping almost until 8am, with only a quick cuddle in the middle of the night, it's become more like a normal family routine and less like Walking Zombie Hell :-)
 
You'll get a period towards the end of pregnancy where she is knackered and sleeps all the time. This is your gaming golden age.

Then the first few months after the birth you will get barely any gaming and it wont matter cause you will be exhausted.

Youll probably then get a period where they will happily sleep on your lap while you game. which is nice.

About a year+ they will probably start sleeping through the night and going to bed at a reasonable time so you should get your evenings back for gaming.

Really though, the main thing, is just to cut out the timewasting gaming, and focus on the good stuff. Grinding for achievements or levels for the sake of it is right out, playing anything other than top tier games is right out.

But hooking up online with all the friends you dont have the time/money to see that often anymore? Absolutely. Its ace.

(Also, dont forget that kids>games. No one ever lay on their deathbed regretting not having played more xbox.)
 
i haven´t played a good game in a while now aim seriously missing out on games like deus ex, portal 2 and catherine … it kinda sucks but that is the price you pay for having a kid i guess
 
As a few others have said, its not too hard to find time.
I myself did gaming when the wif and kid were asleep hehe
 
Congrats! Kids are awesome, I have four of them.

With a newborn your gaming probably won't suffer too much, they sleep a lot. Prepare to game during nap time (or catch up on sleep from previous night's gaming) and at night when the family sleeps.

MMO's are a bad idea. Play games that you can pause/turn off at a moments notice.

When the little one gets old enough (happens sooo fast), be ready for "Can I play? Can I play? Can I play? Can I play? Can I play?"
 
Garcian said:
I simply ignore the cries of my children...

It's tough - my gaming time has seriously depleted since having kids; I play when everyone has gone to sleep - providing I'm not too knackered myself.

Once thing it has taught me is that I'm now a whole lot more choosy with which games I buy.

EDIT - and congratulations!
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Heh, its like my future self beat me to the punch with this post
 
First and fore most, congratz! My wife and I are also expecting our second one.

Now a few things I learned the hard way, gaming as a whole will change for you, allow me to do some bullets points for you:

- sleep time is precious comodity during the first year, most of your gaming will be done after 9 or 10pm. It's up to you if you want to game or sleep that couple of extra hours instead, trust me you'll find yourself choosing the latter more often than not.

- even if you find yourself with some spare time ask yourself, does my wife need something I could help her with? You need to show support to your wife and not just rush to game as soon as you have some time free.

- I stick to playing one game at a time, single player game that is, I only buy my next single player game after I finish the one I am playing, unless there is so crazy sale on steam then que my games. I also have my default go-to multiplayer game (tf2), which I can play in short burst of 30 minutes or 1 hour sessions.

- I found myself playing more and more on the pc than on my PS3, that's because I let my wife watch her shows on tv which is a perfect opportuity for me to have some gaming time.

- Get an iphone-ipod, learn to love it, these devices are ideal for quick gaming fix.

- with time you'll learn to adjust to yiur new gaming schedules, as a gamer you have evolved, you are now a gamer dad, enjoy it, it's awesome!
 
basically 90% of my gaming is when everyone else in the house is asleep. sometimes i'll negotiate an afternoon at the weekend if there's a new game i want to get stuck into.

The PSVita will be out by the time your little one arrives, so that might also be a good option!
 
Congrats on the kid. Once you have one, videogames won't seem like that big a deal anymore.

That said, if you were ever into longer, exploratory, immersive games, you can kiss them goodbye unless you are OK with playing them in 1-2 hour chunks over the course of two months. Long gone will be your days of sitting in front of a computer screen for 4, 5, 6 hours at a time immersed in these worlds. Cancel your Skyrim and Dark Souls pre-orders. You will quickly gain a very clear understanding of why people gravitate towards iOS and handheld games that can be played in small chunks.
 
I'm adjusting to this as well, but it's been a lot easier than I had expected (5-week old baby here)

First and foremost, these days, I tend not to enjoy long gaming sessions so having a little one around hasn't had that much of an impact on my gaming. I do play more handheld and PC stuff (as it's upstairs and easy to get in small bits here and there), but I still get serious gaming time in the evening (usually 8:30/9:00 to around 10:30 or 11:00 depending on when I decide to go to bed).

So, really, due to the way I've been playing these last few years, it's worked out surprisingly well. I simply don't enjoy long sessions and appreciate games more when I take my time. Furthermore, I do not enjoy online multiplayer gaming, which I suspect would be very difficult with a baby around. At least with single player games, I can drop what I'm doing at any time and tend to his needs.

I've also found that Netflix availability in most rooms of my house has been a blessing. If there's a film I really want to enjoy, I'll wait until I have time to dedicate, but for a lot of movies on Netflix I don't need to be completely focused. Feeding our little guy while catching part of a movie that I can then pick up later works great!

"Hmm, do I really want to play Wii or should I stick with 360?"
photo-3.jpg
 
Congrats!

My daughter is a little over 3 now. Being a dad is awesome.

As for gaming...say hello to iOS. At least that's what happened to me. The time just isn't there for long game sessions (as that really isn't your priority at that point anyways).
 
You could give up watching football; after all you'll only be missing Liverpool's brand of dross on a saturday afternoon after you get knocked out tonight :p

Congratulations though man!!!!
 
Bradach said:
basically 90% of my gaming is when everyone else in the house is asleep. sometimes i'll negotiate an afternoon at the weekend if there's a new game i want to get stuck into.

The PSVita will be out by the time your little one arrives, so that might also be a good option!
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Already preordered one.

Also thank you for the congrats.
 
AgentOtaku said:
Our son has been going to bed at 730-8pm, 90 percent of the time since he was born. This affords the wife and I plenty of me time as well as just breaks in a good habit.
Click to expand...

This was huge for us. 7:30-8:00 is her bedtime, which leaves a decent amount of time for hobbies. I would also cut out multiplayer and mmo's if you're into that sort of thing. Games you can pause and stop playing quickly will be very appreciated by your wife and may even score you some brownie points for extra play on the weekends :).
 
iapetus said:
If my experience over the last 18 months is anything to go by, welcome to the handheld gaming ghetto. :)
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LOL this is also the reason why I've been doing more handheld gaming as well. I know I wanted a PSP and DS back when we had our first regardless of kids but they have turned into awesome avenues since it's harder to manage a PC or console than a little device. Handhelds have been great for breaks too and also potty trips.

As was also said, you will find yourself watching less tv especially when the baby gets old enough to watch TV. You have to deal and game or do stuff while the baby naps or when your kids get old enough to be at school, you will appreciate that free time even more.

I also just read the bed time thing (I was done until that lol). My older son is in bed by 9 and the baby goes to bed when I do or I put him to bed and hang around with him until he goes to sleep. Night time is the main primary time for PC and console gaming these days. When my near 2 year old takes a nap, I may get on the PC too.

It can work and you still get you 3-5 hours of you time.
 
jonno394 said:
Does everyone here actually want kids? I know I don't. My last "proper" relationship of a few years ended last October because the girl I was with wanted us to start trying for a child and i said I didn't want a kid for another 5 years or so (i'm only 25). This caused her to basically hate me and the relationship because I wouldn't give her what she wanted, so I just lol'd and went home and played Mafia 2.

I'm in no rush to have kids, infact I can safely say I wouldn't be sad if I never had one.
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"HERP! The thread title is specifically about people who have kids and how they manage their gaming time - I think I'll go in and shit it up with pointless bullshit about how I don't want kids!"

Think before you post, fucko.

As a father of three, I agree with everyone else - just game in your free time. Be willing to sleep less. Be aware that some years you will get more game time than others. Enjoy and revel in your children.

Edit: DOH! Forgot to say congrats to the soon-to-be-new father :).
 
Congrats!

Good to see this thread here cause it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately. The misses and I are "trying for our first" and I'm not sure what to expect. I guess it'll be just fine, it's not like I still play 20hours/week anyway. (since we've been renovating our new house for 6 months...)

I'm a sucker for long RPGs though but I'm not gonna stress about it too much, there's always a pause/save button :)
 
Whatever you do, get the kid on schedule! Sometimes this doesn't always work (teething, sick etc.) but establish some type of schedule for their sleep / eat / play and you will have more free time (which doesn't mean playing game, sometimes it's just so that you can get some sleep!

Anyway, congratulation on you little one. Mines are older now and sometimes I do miss them being little. I still remember when my son ask me to help him get through certain sections of Halo, now it's the other way around. ><
 
Son is 2.5 years old - i've switched to playing hand helds lol.

No seriously - the Vita, 3DS and iOS will see a huge chunk of gaming the next year or so.
 
My wife is Due this Saturday and I know when this baby girl finally does arrive my gaming time will being going down drastically.

Hopefully, somehow, i can convince my wife to let me get a PS Vita down the road. That will at least allow me some gaming in the evening after the wife falls asleep.
 
get a Handheld 3DS/vita/android/iphone prepare to game on that during commutes etc..

home consoles you will mostly game less on...for the first 2 years kiss any free time to game away..

Gowans007 said:
Get ready for free time to drop for gaming, but you get to swap it with plenty off awesome things with your kid.
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^^ THIS THIS THIS THIS,
 
CONGRATS to all the new parents in the thread but trust me, you will find time to game just not at the hours you are used to but you won't want to and if you do then you're doing it all wrong.
This is why I am slowly but reluctantly making the move towards console gaming from PC gaming, it just happens to be easier and more painless. When gaming on my PC and it's my turn to look after the kids than I can't just relax with my sennheisers on and concentrate but with a console I can be in the same room as them while they play on the floor with their toys.
Maybe one day I will go back to PC gaming but not in the near future.
 
I have a two year old daughter and work a lot. During the week, I can play on the weeknights from about 10:00pm 12:30pm 3 or 4 nights a week. On the weekend, sometimes for an hour or two during the day when she naps, and then again at night. from maybe 9:00pm to 1:00am.

I only watch maybe an hour or two of TV a week, all that time above is my free personal time and I like to spend it all gaming

With a kid, if you want to have extended gaming sessions, its going to be at the expense of your own sleep.

Also, good surround headphones are essential. I have an older wireless Turtle Beach pair for my Xbox.
 
The main point is to get used to playing in bursts. Be ready for interruptions such as diaper changes, comforting if your toddler does a barrel roll or trips on that banana made of air, or just play with you infant. Handhelds and PC's with sleep modes are a godsend. I think that's why lost have just naturally migrated to handhelds and have come to appreciate them more. You are coming in at the right time too with 3DS out and VITA coming. We're at the peak of handheld performance and quality thus far. The best days are yet to come with the VITA/3DS.
 
PJX said:
I just found out my wife is pregnant with our first child, well will be our first child for the both of us. Assuming everything goes smoothly, I am going to be a father next May. As a gamer, I have been finding it increasingly hard to find the time to game much the last 3 years due to work. I'm just wondering with a child due, will the time I have to game become non-existent? How do you fathers cope?
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1. Priorities, dude. (You'll find gaming is significantly less important).

2. Not sure your specific situation, but since my wife stays at home with our daughter she is worn out by the end of the day and goes to bed earlier, which means a couple nights a week I stay up later and play games.

3. Playing with your kid is 1000% more enjoyable than any video game. Don't sweat it.
 
You can still game you just do it during the hours you should be sleeping while conditioning your body to require less sleep overall. I typically get between 4-6 hours of sleep during the week depending on how long I stay up for hobbies (games/music).

It catches up to you sometimes and you'll need a day to just crash but it's pretty much the only way without flat out neglecting your children.
 
Marco1 said:
CONGRATS to all the new parents in the thread but trust me, you will find time to game just not at the hours you are used to but you won't want to and you you do then you're doing it all wrong.
This is why I am slowly but reluctantly making the move towards console gaming from PC gaming, it just happens to be easier and more painless. When gaming on my PC and it's my turn to look after the kids than I can't just relax with my sennheisers on and concentrate but with a console I can be in the same room as them while they play on the floor with their toys.
Maybe one day I will go back to PC gaming but not in the near future.
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hand helds are the future man, nothing like a quick trip to the loo for a bit of sit on the porcelain throne with a handheld and have a quick tear through of the latest handheld game you have...all in the knowledge that you like to take a bit longer on the toilet to do your business and you get a little respite..it's the little things I tells you :P

as all other fathers said, Priorities, gaming is just a hobby a mild distraction...you child will be the main focus of everything. :D
 
Congrats to you! My wife and I are also expecting our first child in January, and this has very much been on my mind, as well. I absolutely can't wait to be a father, but at the same time wonder where I'll fit in reading and gaming time. My plan is to keep the 3DS and a book handy, and if I have the time to sit in front of the PC, I'll stick to single player games only. I also plan on stockpiling games during the holiday Steam sale. I don't think I've finished even half the games I bought last year. A kid is surely going to eat into my gaming budget, so I doubt I'll buy more than 1-2 new $50-60 games a year, if that.
 
The Omega Man said:
First and fore most, congratz! My wife and I are also expecting our second one.

Now a few things I learned the hard way, gaming as a whole will change for you, allow me to do some bullets points for you:

- sleep time is precious comodity during the first year, most of your gaming will be done after 9 or 10pm. It's up to you if you want to game or sleep that couple of extra hours instead, trust me you'll find yourself choosing the latter more often than not.

- even if you find yourself with some spare time ask yourself, does my wife need something I could help her with? You need to show support to your wife and not just rush to game as soon as you have some time free.

- I stick to playing one game at a time, single player game that is, I only buy my next single player game after I finish the one I am playing, unless there is so crazy sale on steam then que my games. I also have my default go-to multiplayer game (tf2), which I can play in short burst of 30 minutes or 1 hour sessions.

- I found myself playing more and more on the pc than on my PS3, that's because I let my wife watch her shows on tv which is a perfect opportuity for me to have some gaming time.

- Get an iphone-ipod, learn to love it, these devices are ideal for quick gaming fix.

- with time you'll learn to adjust to yiur new gaming schedules, as a gamer you have evolved, you are now a gamer dad, enjoy it, it's awesome!
Click to expand...

Having a 2 year old myself, i can condone this message.

Some other tips:

Try to get on a schedule, after my baby goes to sleep i spend 1 hour playing and then its time to watch TV with the wife and go to sleep, if you do this regularly and at the same time, there wont be friction as every party is expecting it.

Also portable gaming is a must, i play tons of DS while i watch my baby play with her toys in the living room, if for any reason she needs my help i can just close the clam shell on the DS in a matter of seconds.
 
I don't have kids, but stuff like this tells me that game developers have yet to fully adjust the structure of mainstream games for what has supposedly become the "median" demographic - 37-year-olds with kids. Even I have to wait until close to midnight most nights to get in good gaming time because most games still aren't conducive to interruptions. That needs to change. It'd be great if next-gen consoles had some kind of universal temporary save state feature or something.
 
I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old.

At first, when they are not on a sleep schedule, forget it...unless you have a very lenient wife/partner, who doesn't mind you abandoning them at a time where she is exhausted and a hormonal wreck....so forget it.

Around the 2-4 month point, the little one will be on a sleep schedule, and you can play at night...if you have energy...but also realize, this is your only time to spend with your wife/partner..so be careful.

In regards to playing on weekend afternoons, or any time while they are awake, forget it. I used to play a ton on weekends when I had nothing going on , now the only time I play is weeknights, after 9:30pm, assuming Im not too tired to care.
 
Get an iPad.

That's where the majority of my gaming time is centered when my daughter is awake.

...That is, until she learned to use it herself. Now I can't go near the thing while she's awake.
 
PJX said:
I just found out my wife is pregnant with our first child, well will be our first child for the both of us. Assuming everything goes smoothly, I am going to be a father next May. As a gamer, I have been finding it increasingly hard to find the time to game much the last 3 years due to work. I'm just wondering with a child due, will the time I have to game become non-existent? How do you fathers cope?
Click to expand...
We've had several related threads, hopefully they offer some good advice too:

Gaming with babies!
Parent GAF - How do you game?
So many awesome games out now, and coming..how can a married father keep up?
Married GAF - How and when do you find time to play?
ITT: We talk about Gaming Addiction and Married life
 
Once they get old enough, you get back time you lost while they were small. You'll save a bunch of games for retirement, too. lol!
 
As a father of a 20 month old boy, I can say the pause button will be your best friend. Every game needs pausable cutscenes by the way.

You will lose some time, but you'll see that with fatherhood, you'll be proud to give up some free time.

Also, introduce them to your interests. Back when lbp2 came out, my son watched it as if it were a cartoon. These days, he is a HUGE Thundercats fan with me so we watch it all the time.
 
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