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Favorite Homer Simpson moments?

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No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
 
The end of the Bart of Darkness episode, where everyone EVERYONE gets the full story explained , the screaming the plants Maude everything. ..

Homer "ah but theres one thing that isnt solved where's Maude?"

Maude" Im right here Homer"

Homer" Oh I see..so everythings just wrapped up in a neat little PACKage?"

*everyone walks away*
 
Marge: I don't care who started it. I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. We love you both: you're not in competition with each other. Repeat: you are not in competition with each other.

Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! *Flicks light on and off.* Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
 
ultron87 said:
Marge: I don't care who started it. I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. We love you both: you're not in competition with each other. Repeat: you are not in competition with each other.

Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! *Flicks light on and off.* Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Click to expand...

They're both losers.
 
"Space food sticks! Did you know I went to space, Mom?"
"Of course, it was national news. Do you... still work for NASA?"
"No I work for the nuclear power plant."
"Oh Homer-"
"Well, you'll be happy to know I don't do a very good job. Actually I'm bringing the plant down from the inside." (taps nose twice)
 
Mr Burns - "Smithers are they booing me?"

Smithers - "No, they are saying boourns, boourns!"

Mr Burns - "Are you saying boo or boourns?"

*crowd throws garbage at Mr Burns*

Hans - "I said boourns"
 
"How dare you talk about Ned Flanders like that. He's a wonderful, kind, caring man - maybe even more so than me. There have been times when I lost patience with him - even lashed out at him - but this man has turned every cheek on his body. If everyone here were like Ned Flanders, there'd be no need for heaven. We'd already be there."
 
I never watched The Simpsons much (usually only at friends' houses), but my favorite 2 moments are when homer sets his cereal on fire, and when he blows up the polygraph machine. That was some funny ass shit.
 
Homer trying to convince Marge to become a surrogate mother for money.

"But Marge, we're a team! It's uterUS, not uterYOU."
 
Oooh, floor pie!

Twenty dollars?! I wanted a peanut!

You have 20 minutes to move your car, you have 10 minutes, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have 20 minutes to move your cube. (Burns' line after this is great too though.)

I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.
 
"Alright, here are your exams, fifty questions true or false."
"True."
"Homer, I was just describing the test."
"True."
"Look Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine."
"...False."
 
"Me lose brain? Uh oh!"
*everybody laughing*
"Why I laugh?"

...

"Oh, Lisa. You and your stories. 'Dad, Bart's a vampire.' 'Beer kills brain cells.' Now, let's go back to that... building thingy... WHERE OUR BEDS AND TV... is."

...

"Look what your bad egg of a son did to my teeth!"
"Dad, you and your stories. 'Bart broke my teeth.' 'The nurses are stealing my money.' 'This thing on my neck is getting bigger.'"
 
Okay, I'm like 90% done writing my rhymes now. One question:

What was that line where Homer says something to the effect of "Oh sure, you're living in a world of magic, with unicorns and little gnomes wearing little tiny hats."?

I know I have it wrong, but it's SOMETHING like that....

Anyone know?
 
Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!

?
 
Found it, Blood Feud, season 2:

Marge, you're my wife, I love you very much, but you're living in a world of make-believe! With flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats.
 
Borgnine said:
Found it:

Marge, you're my wife, I love you very much, but you're living in a world of make-believe! With flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats.
Click to expand...

THAT'S IT! Thanks man! You're a lifesaver!

By the way, I loved you in Spike of Bensonhurst
 
I'm sure its been said, but:

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel".

The greatest line he's ever said and would fit perfectly with your poem fight.
 
The one with the sugar pile and he's gaurding it; only to find an Englishman using it for his tea.

edit: I forgot the quote that goes with the scene.

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
 
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