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[Souldriver]

The Ms Featherbottom one is just hilarious because of the delivery... which is true of a lot of the lines in the show, I suppose.

IN THE MOST DELICIOUS WAAAAY

 

[BobbyRobby]

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

 

[AKingNamedPaul]

God these quotes have brought my day so much cheer.

I vow to re-watch all of this show in the near future.
<3 G.O.B

 

[birdman]

And the Immortal:

Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads!
Gob: Beads?!

GOB's not on board.

 

[Zoramon089]

Oh oh, someone post some quote from the doctor who speaks really literally all the time!

 

[Outdoor Miner]

Lucille: I would cry right now Michael, but I need to save the moisture *winks*. (i think that's it)

or

Tobias: I’m cloaking myself in her scent.

Lindsay: She’s not blind.

Tobias: She was when she bought this.

Lindsay: That’s the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon.

Tobias: And this time, no tears.

 

[StrikerObi]

This is a good opportunity to remind everyone that hulu.com has all of the episodes free, in decent quality and completely legit. There is no excuse!

Back to the quotes:


Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
...
...
...
Michael:The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.

I also really love

Michael: G.O.B., you have to get rid of the Seaward
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Sooooooooo awesome.

GOB's COME ON! is a perennial favorite among my friends and I.

 

[StrikerObi]

Also, I don't understand the joke here at all and it's bugged me for the longest time:

Lindsay: Michael can cry. He just doesn’t want to rust.
Tobias: Yes, he’s like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.
Michael: Tin Man?
Tobias: Is that what he’s called?
Lindsay: He knows.

Any takers?

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

 

[Pelydr]

I also really love

Michael: G.O.B., you have to get rid of the Seaward
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Sooooooooo awesome.

That was always my favorite. :lol

 

[viciouskillersquirrel]

I also really love

Michael: G.O.B., you have to get rid of the Seaward
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

What's even better is that in later episodes, when he finally does get his yacht, the name he's written on it is "The C-Word".

 

[StrikerObi]

By the way, thanks GAF. I'm starting disc one right now.

 

[Shiggie]

no Carl Weathers?
I dont have the quote now. the one about he stew and bone.:lol :lol :lol

 

[Shiggie]

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

thank you so fucking much

 

[jon bones]

This thread makes me happy AD is far and away the greatest television show created

 

[MisterAnderson]

Someone please quote Barry the lawyer.

 

[kablooey]

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

Wow, awesome. :lol

A classic that hasn't been mentioned:

George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic!
Michael: The mere fact that you call making love 'Pop-Pop' tells me you're not ready.
George Michael: :|

:lol

I need to watch me some AD again, like I do whenever one of these threads pops up.

 

[Adagio]

Lucille: They’re not going to let you in at the country club with that.
Buster (as Franklin): I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, you freak bitch!

 

[Meloche]

And the Immortal:
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads!
Gob: Beads?!

Just because it hasn't been posted yet:

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

I freaking love this one, thanks for refreshing. :lol

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

Hey, great! I'm glad you're here. I wasn't sure if you got my message.

[seriously, thanks a lot :bow]

I'll just throw in one more from our uncle t-bag:

Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant’s skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Michael: What?

 

[snacknuts]

I also really love

Michael: G.O.B., you have to get rid of the Seaward
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Sooooooooo awesome.

Beaten. My favorite of all time.

 

[Zoramon089]

Carl Weathers: Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.

 

[Souldriver]

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

Ha, I didn't get that one either. Thanks. :lol


Oh, btw. When Tobias finally listens to a tape of himself, he seems to realise he's gay, but instead he says something different. I don't understand what. "Oh Tobias, you...."?

I also really love

Michael: G.O.B., you have to get rid of the Seaward
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

I don't get that one either. Maybe it's because I'm no native english speaker.

 

[Divvy]

White Power Bill: [as he's stabbing Gob] White power!
Gob: [gasping] I'm.. white..

 

[speculawyer]

Absolutely anything said by Gob's puppet Franklin.

Franklin was pure comedy gold.

 

[MisterAnderson]

....I think I want my money back...

*cue dramatic music and Carl Weathers stare down.*

 

[joshschw]

Tobias mis-quotes the name of The Tin Man. Michael corrects him. Tobias feigns ignorance. He knows the character is The Tin Man because The Wizard of Oz is a notoriously favorite film among gay men. So much so that "friend of Dorothy" is a euphemism for "homosexual man". Lindsey is implying that her husband is gay.

cool, thanks a lot. never understood that exchange myself.

 

[Souldriver]

Absolutely anything said by Gob's puppet Franklin.

Franklin was pure comedy gold.

When he uses the audio from the magazine ad. :lol

G.O.B.: Check it out. My lips don’t move. They call me up to the stand, say something like, “Who’s this little friend?” And he’ll say...
Franklin: My name is Judge.
G.O.B.: Who’s name is Judge?
Franklin: My name is
G.O.B.: That’s a silly name.
Franklin: Judge. My name
G.O.B.: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.
Franklin: Is
G.O.B.: Oh, now you’re correcting my grammar?
Michael: G.O.B., not going to put Franklin on the stand, and your lips are moving just a little bit.
Franklin: Judge.
G.O.B.: He’s right, his name is Judge now.

 

[Nabs]

Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic getaway. Don’t tell me what that means.

Michael: Where is your dad?

Maeby: He left dressed all westerny. You can leave me out of that part, too.

Narrator: And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt.

Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.

Maeby: Well, I’m all grown up now.

:lol :lol

 

[Meloche]

Oh, btw. When Tobias finally listens to a tape of himself, he seems to realise he's gay, but instead he says something different. I don't understand what. "Oh Tobias, you...."?

"Oh Tobias, you blowhard!" [blowhard = someone who boasts/brags] i.e. he doesn't get the problems with what he's saying.

Until I checked the subtitles I initially thought he said 'blow hard', which could also be another euphemism.

Ugh, I just can't stop thinking of hilarious lines:

Narrator: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well...
Gob: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."
Narrator: ...his ideas failed to evolve.
Gob: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
Gob: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in.
Gob: This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in Fuck City.
Stan Sitwell: You're fired.

Gob: I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with Fuck Mountain.

 

[GrimReaper]

 

[alr1ght]

this was one of my fav scenes.

 

[StrikerObi]

Under-appreciated exchange here from Top Banana

Lucille:You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsey:Oh, that's funny, 'cause I was gonna say you might want to lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol.
Lucille:...mine was better.

Another great one:

George Sr:There was two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars lining the walls of the banana stand!
Michael:Why didn't you say something about it!?
George Sr:How much clearer can I say THERE'S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
Guard:NO TOUCHING!
George Sr:NO TOUCHING!
Guard:NO TOUCHING!

 

[Souldriver]

Oh man, the gifs :lol , the quotes :lol

It's caused me to watch the series again. And I've got finals coming up

 

[RevenantKioku]

I don't get that one either. Maybe it's because I'm no native english speaker.

I'd imagine you know the word c*nt, right? Well that could be referred to as the c-word (sea-ward).

 

[Souldriver]

I'd imagine you know the word c*nt, right? Well that could be referred to as the c-word (sea-ward).

OOoooooh

 

[j-wood]

Tobias: "Why am I not going underwater? DEAR GOD WHY AM I NOT GOING UNDERWATER?!"

:lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[Divvy]

Lindsay: Lupe I need you to come and Dustbuster
Lupe: I NO DUST BUSTER ANYMORE!
Lindsay: Fine I'll do it myself
Lupe: *Gasp*

 

[Link1110]

Mysterious Pimp : I can't just have my girls turning illusions for free, you know!
Michael: GOB?

 

[Traumahound]

Michael: ...But I can't. I have to teach George Michael how to drive.
Gob: Michael if I make this comeback I'll buy you one hundred George Michael's you can teach to drive.
Michael: You're losing blood aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait that doesn't work after his line.

Lindsay Funke: [discussing Michael's dislike of George Michael's girlfriend] You know, maybe if you stopped judging her, he'd trust you. Look, if you say no, you're just going to drive him right to her.
George Michael Bluth: Hey, Dad, can you drive me to Ann's?
Michael: Nnnn... Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes.
George Michael Bluth: Great. I'll wait in the car.
Michael: I don't think that worked.

 

[BorkBork]

Tobias Fünke: Time for me to take off my receptionist skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince Of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Michael: What?

Narrator: GOB was at Ancient Chinese Secret that very moment.
Gob: I'm looking for something to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want slow! Wait, that's Indian...
Chinese Shop Owner: Tea for dong!
Gob: What is this?
Chinese Shop Owner: It's the sword of destiny. Very powerful. Comes with back story.
Gob: Yeah, I make up my own patter. Just ring it up with the dong tea.


Michael: Go ahead and tell Gob that I'll be telling the cops that it was him in the truck, so he'll be joining me here. I have a nice, hard cot with this name on it.
Lucille: You'd do that to your own brother?
Michael: I said "cot."


Michael Bluth: You may want to start acting like the president, GOB. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees.
Gob: Yeah, like the president has to worry about alienating the employees.
Narrator: In fact, GOB had started to alienate some of the employees.
Gob: [in the break room] Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit! COME ON!
Gob: [at the elevator] Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. COME ON!
Gob: [in the bathroom] Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit! COME ON!

The show's a freaking gold mine.

 

[Cheesemeister]

 

[Jack Scofield]

In addition to the quotes, Arrested Development has a ton of visual gags. I absolutely love when Tobias is wearing his leather fetish outfit (he's oblivious as to what it really is, of course) and accidentally chokes himself with the chain.

Oh God, I feel like watching this show again, right now.

 

[Brian Fellows]

Barry: I got Michael out of his marriage, didn&#8217;t I?
Michael: Actually she died.
Barry: You&#8217;re kidding me. I&#8217;ve been taking credit for that for years.
Michael: Credit?

Barry: And you don&#8217;t want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
G.O.B.: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow&#8230;you should be the lawyer.

Barry: So, basically, you&#8217;re about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stockholders. Now, unfortunately, it&#8217;s a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry: That&#8217;s what they said on &#8220;Ask Jeeves.&#8221;

 

[Nabs]

i love little shit like this

 

[NotWii]

Congrats neoGAF, you've made a transcript of the whole series

 

[aznpxdd]

Congrats neoGAF, you've made a transcript of the whole series

Seriously, the whole show is gold. Pure gold.

 

[NotWii]

Seriously, the whole show is gold. Pure gold.

Yeah, that's why I don't really like these threads, I'd rather just go watch the show.

 

[AKingNamedPaul]

I don't remember the exact quote but when Micheal is pretending he listened to G.O.B's album and said something along the lines of it was good.

and g.o.b says "look at us, crying like a couple of girls"
and its just him crying :lol

/me is finished butchering the hell out of the scene but someone can bring up the correct quote plz.

 

[Ventrue]

Michael: It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

Narrator: So Michael decided to do a little detective work.
Michael: Did you burn down the storage unit?
T-Bone: Oh, most definitely!

GOB: Taste the happy, Michael!
Michael: Tastes a lot like sad.

 

[RevenantKioku]

Yeah, that's why I don't really like these threads, I'd rather just go watch the show.

If you'd help me take off my illegitimate-fathering cock-muffler and put on my analrapist boxer shorts, I'd be sure to show you how to avoid causing yourself this grief.

 

[Brian Fellows]

I have a sweet analrapist t-shirt.