you're free, dude
you're so free you should change your name from shacklesmcgee to shacklesmcfree
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GAF, Have you ever been on a "break"?
- Thread starter shacklesmcgee
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you're so free you should change your name from shacklesmcgee to shacklesmcfree
terrisus
Member
Well, to be fair, GAF did tell you this would happen... >.>
How are you feeling?
I am a bit late in posting but around November last year, my gf and I went on a 1 week break. Everything felt fine after that for a couple of weeks until I took a vacation from school to go home and visit for Christmas and New Years, and we broke up on the winter solstice... Sad but strangely fitting that our 2.5 year relationship ended on the darkest day of the year.
shacklesmcgee
Member
oh and she broke up with me cuz she posted this
last night and all I asked was if we could talk today or tomorrow. So she emails me that we're breaking up and doesn't want to talk or see me again lol
like c'mon
lol you have the bedside manor of a dick ;p
you all have been really amazing and helpful, I do want to thank you all.
Feeling good, at my cousins/best friends thinking about moving out to LA like we always wanted to. I find it more comical now than anything.....an email lol
oh and the things she says....woooo boy
yuppp
last night and all I asked was if we could talk today or tomorrow. So she emails me that we're breaking up and doesn't want to talk or see me again lol
like c'mon
lol you have the bedside manor of a dick ;p
you all have been really amazing and helpful, I do want to thank you all.
Feeling good, at my cousins/best friends thinking about moving out to LA like we always wanted to. I find it more comical now than anything.....an email lol
oh and the things she says....woooo boy
yuppp
TheBaldEmperor
Member
My wife tried to have us go on a break when we were dating. I told her we either break up or work out our issues. We decided we would work through our issues and I'm so thankful we did. In our case it set a precedent that there wasn't going to be game playing in our relationship. Her and her previous boyfriend went on breaks all the time. Not all breaks are game playing though and that's my personal experience and that may not be what is right for every situation. Sorry you are going through this OP.
holy shit man. what a rude awakening.
terrisus
Member
A bedside manor?
So, like, a house inside of a house?
xzibit.jpg
manner
Seriously though, I'm sorry for your loss.
But, having some forewarning is better than none at all.
ThisGuy
Member
That's a lame way to split after 2 years. Hit the gym, see some friends and meet new women to win.
Try to avoid being up in her business, it's gonna hurt ya.
Hey GAF,
Worst week of my life these last couple days, my GF asked for a break last Tuesday, and I've been a complete wreck since then. After having not the best weekend, and saying something really stupid Tuesday morning, I was supposed to go over and she asked me not to. I felt so bad I bought her some things and left them on her doorstep to say sorry, but I didn't actually see her. Later that night, she texted me about how she had sent me an email explaining the situation. The email said she wanted a break, and some stuff about our relationship, but not a whole lot. I emailed back asking if she wanted to break up, she called saying " i dunno, I need time".
So, it was bad enough I don't really know what's going on with her, she's been posting stuff online about us that really, really hurts. Stuff like "I'm FINALLY going out" or " for the first time in 2 years...." (we've been dating two years).
I've jumped from every single emotion, and have no idea what's gonna happen when we do talk....if she asks to meet in a public place, I'll just die.
Not sure what I'm looking for here, just kinda wanted to vent....but GAF, have you ever been on a "break"? Did it work out? Was it for the better? Or was it just prolonging the inevitable break up?
Thanks everyone
I know a lot of people on GAF say breaks = relationship over, but that's not always true; after reading the bolded, though, it's a wrap.
edit: nevermind. sorry, op. that's a shitty way to break up with someone. it's weird that a large portion of time can be dissolved in a simple text/email, but sometimes it's for the best (you and her). enjoy being single. get out there to bars, clubs and hang with friends. it'll take a while to get past it, but life goes on and maybe next time you can break up with somebody.
also it sounds like your girl just pulled some sasha grey shit and you don't want that anymore, bruh.
shacklesmcgee
Member
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Doesn't sound like she loves you with the way she's acting. Break it off and find someone respectful instead.
terrisus
Member
Unfortunately, I know far more about bad relationships than I would like.
And didn't do any of the things that I would recommend myself doing now >.>
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
So many people need to learn this. If they weren't dead sick of you without a made-up mind, they'd go on. Move on.
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
A BREAK ALWAYS SIGNIFIES THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
So many people need to learn this. If they weren't dead sick of you without a made-up mind, they'd go on. Move on.
bakerbakes
Member
Yea, a "break" comes just prior to a breakup. Get out.
you are definitely better off. It will hurt for a while, probably for over a year, but you will be much stronger on the far side of this. Chin up, get some rad hobbies, and kick some ass. We believe in you!
AuthenticM
Member
If she posts these things on social media for all (including you) to see, you should break up just for that. Don't lose your time.
edit: well, it looks like it's over. Spend some time with your buddies and try to cheer up.
edit: well, it looks like it's over. Spend some time with your buddies and try to cheer up.
Munch Poke
Member
Agreed. Don't chase someone forever, because life is too short. But as someone doing something similar with their loved one I have to agree that you should try as hard as possible to make it work.
However if she's having fun make sure you are too. And that's whatever your definition of fun is. I'm certainly not saying go chase tail lol. But don't waist your precious life on earth in any situation. Life is too short and if you guys do get back together, or if not, you should not ever feel as if time was wasted sitting around. Make good memories in any part of life as much as possible.
Well, I dunno
if she's feeling pretty liberated after just wanting a "break" then things were pretty dire. It was obvious that a breakup was inevitable.
Having said that, I'm not gonna put any blame on her or call her a dick. There were things that you screwed up on, OP. I'd do some soul searching and try to see where I went wrong. You mentioned saying stupid things, did you do it often?
In the end, it's going to work out for the best, for both of your sakes. Having done the breakup over email sucks, but it shows just how toxic things were between you two.
if she's feeling pretty liberated after just wanting a "break" then things were pretty dire. It was obvious that a breakup was inevitable.
Having said that, I'm not gonna put any blame on her or call her a dick. There were things that you screwed up on, OP. I'd do some soul searching and try to see where I went wrong. You mentioned saying stupid things, did you do it often?
In the end, it's going to work out for the best, for both of your sakes. Having done the breakup over email sucks, but it shows just how toxic things were between you two.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Well, if you look at it, most of those asking for help are young and new to relationships (or in their first) and those that tend to do the helping have had a bit more experience and know the signs. Nothing is ever foolproof, but usually when someone is on here fearing their relationship is over...their relationship is over.
I see it more of seeking confirmation from a third party that you (the one having issues) isn't crazy and it is indeed what you thought it was. Gaf gives that outside look, and that's that.
TheContact
Member
My wife (girlfriend at the time) broke up for a few weeks. Partly because of how I acted (I didn't want to drive to her house 45 minutes every day like she wanted) and her not being entirely over her ex of 3 years. I was ok with the break eventually although I did make it clear it isn't what I wanted at first. She ended up calling me back a few weeks later and we have been together ever since. 7 years now. But my advice to you is to let it go and give her space and if she wants you back then you should consider it. Break ups seem hard but honestly you'll find another girl and you can never have sex with too many girls in your life
The_Inquisitor
Member
I've seen a break work ONCE for a friend. I consider him an outlier.
Almost every case is the same though. The OPs are emotional wrecks, the relationships look like they are going to explode etc etc.
OP, you deserve better than a cowardly exit like that. Find somebody who actually appreciates you. PM if you ever need anything.
terrisus
Member
To quote a post I made in another thread last week:
If you want more nuanced relationship advice, head over there.
LiveFromKyoto
Member
There is exactly one counter for the "I want a break" technique, and unfortunately for the OP it's a just frame - as soon as she says it, you have to say "yeah, I think you're right." She'll probably start to hedge - show you're disappointed, but don't waver. Then don't contact her. She'll self-ring out within 3 days.
shacklesmcgee
Member
She never ever showed it was dire, that it was a long, long time coming, but she not once showed it.
And I know I screwed up. But it really didn't seem this toxic. I sometimes said she was a "problem child", and teased her a lot, but always joking. I guess she finally had enough.
I know its over, I just think it's not fair that she won't even talk to me. Very rude and disrespectful. The social media posts as well.
Beyond that! I've already wallowed and all that, and I'm going to see Jurassic World in a bit, so I'm just kinda laughing now. Posting this has/is realling helping, and you guys are all awesome. Keep doing you.
Its the truth though. Most relationship problems wouldn't be a problem if we thought of ourselves in these situations. Instead we blame ourselves for how the other person is feeling.
Nobody who really loves you would make you suffer. If she cared how you felt OP she would have broke it off rather than let you cling on to hop.
It's incredibly dickish, knowing that he can read that. You're better off without her, OP. She's very childish.
BUNTING1243
Banned
yeah, i don't think relationships are healthy when someone in one would consider a break.
also that social media stuff sounds mad childish.
break up with her. it sucks but it gets okay.
Edit: oh welp read through the thread. over 2 years and she broke up with you through email? fuck her into space you're worth so much better.
also that social media stuff sounds mad childish.
break up with her. it sucks but it gets okay.
Edit: oh welp read through the thread. over 2 years and she broke up with you through email? fuck her into space you're worth so much better.
SeriousApes
Member
.
shacklesmcgee
Member
Hahahahahah
Yeah, something just clicked.
Now...guys...I can handle a lot of things....
BUT THEY CANCELLED HANNIBAL!
Spiderjericho
Member
As someone whose ex "broke" with him after an 8-year relationship recently (that included a military deployment and a child with special needs), you're probably better off just moving on.
I went through some serious depression and acceptance issues.
She's not going to be going through the grief you're experiencing. She seems like she's cutting herself off from you.
If it's a real break then move on. If she's meant to be the one, you'll link up again. If not, don't deprive yourself of life and happiness.
Keep yourself busy. Find things that interest you to do. Engage and hang out with friends. Try out Tinder or whatever social media dating sites. Your life isn't over, it's just beginning.
I went through some serious depression and acceptance issues.
She's not going to be going through the grief you're experiencing. She seems like she's cutting herself off from you.
If it's a real break then move on. If she's meant to be the one, you'll link up again. If not, don't deprive yourself of life and happiness.
Keep yourself busy. Find things that interest you to do. Engage and hang out with friends. Try out Tinder or whatever social media dating sites. Your life isn't over, it's just beginning.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
Get some strange
The simple counter for the break proposition is actually an ultimatum: "either we work this our or not at all, no breaks". Obviously at that point a relationship is not healthy but that does not make it irreparable. In this case however social media kinda gave you some insight into what the proper course of action was.
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
Because the threads are all the same.
"My gf wants a break", "my gf was talking about seeing other people", "my gf hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks for no reason", "my gf keeps telling me 'things are complicated' with her ex bf" and the occasional, "my gf is talking about marriage and we've only been together for a week."
Not someone you want long-term, obviously. Everything will work out and you'll find someone better.
terrisus
Member
GAF, my girlfriend punched me in the face and tried to strangle me. What should I do?
DarkChronic
Member
Yeah. It's over, OP. Sorry man.
Had my ex of 5 years end it the same way about 2 years ago. Wanted it a break. Went on one for 2 weeks.
After completely ignoring me for two weeks, I finally forced her to meet up with me. I couldn't even get her to say the words, so I'm the one that had to break up with her.
She was a coward, and I know I'm better off now.
The next few weeks will be terrible. There's no getting around it. Be with friends as much as you possibly can. Do not stay home and stew in your thoughts. Force yourself out.
You will get better. I promise. It takes time.
Good luck.
Had my ex of 5 years end it the same way about 2 years ago. Wanted it a break. Went on one for 2 weeks.
After completely ignoring me for two weeks, I finally forced her to meet up with me. I couldn't even get her to say the words, so I'm the one that had to break up with her.
She was a coward, and I know I'm better off now.
The next few weeks will be terrible. There's no getting around it. Be with friends as much as you possibly can. Do not stay home and stew in your thoughts. Force yourself out.
You will get better. I promise. It takes time.
Good luck.
Mr_Appleby
Member
Idk I've never been able to love someone again once they've asked for the old breakeroony.
I'm always reminded of this
On a slightly more serious note - sorry for the loss, OP. But now that you're free, you can enjoy single life! You're better off without her
On a slightly more serious note - sorry for the loss, OP. But now that you're free, you can enjoy single life! You're better off without her
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