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GAF, I need to vent. I'm about to snap.
- Thread starter McBryBry
- Start date
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Thank you. I'm not saying I can't cook for myself. I'm saying I can barely afford gas for work and the dollar menu, let alone buying meals for me, my brother, and sometimes my girlfriend to last days. I would be fine if there was some food in the house to cook.
Ok, then one kid. Give me a good reason why she shouldn't pay for groceries to feed her 16 year old.
It sounds like her gf is paying for both his and his brother's meals, which is something I'd feel bad about (maybe ashamed is the wrong word) if I was in a similar situation.
And I didn't appreciate your previous attempt at making me look like some macho guy who thinks girls can't pay for their bf's food or something.
And yeah OP I don't see a happy resolution for you unless you're willing to talk to her or get someone to do it for you.
outunderthestars
Banned
Again, you need to sit down and have a calm, reasonable conversation with her. Ask her what you can do to help. This is a character defining period of your life. Be a strong person, don't judge her, and help her through a difficult time.
If you aren't willing to talk to your Mom tell your Dad she isn't feeding her sons.
Many custody agreements cover your kids until they are 21 not just 18, let alone the 16 year old.
Otherwise just gotta get over it.. you won't talk to her because you are afraid you'l get angry but you are telling the internet you are about to "snap?"
You have to drop the defeatist attitude and do something.
Many custody agreements cover your kids until they are 21 not just 18, let alone the 16 year old.
Otherwise just gotta get over it.. you won't talk to her because you are afraid you'l get angry but you are telling the internet you are about to "snap?"
You have to drop the defeatist attitude and do something.
akachan ningen
Member
You need to do the right thing, OP.
I do feel bad about it, she knows I'm not a huge fan of her spending money on me. But there's nothing I can do to help it.
OnionPowder
Member
Just trying to get your point of view. A lot of people would find it wrong just because it's the girlfriend. No harm meant.
I'm talking money here. I can't pay for the food out. There's no "defeatist" in that. My bank account does not contain enough money to pay for the food there, and then get gas enough times for work before the next check.
outunderthestars
Banned
Can your brother get a part time job?
It really isn't expensive, at all, to cook cheap meals and buy your own groceries. I get the feeling that you don't actually know how to cook because you keep making the excuse that you can cook, but you have no groceries, but you can afford to waste money on the dollar menu for two people. Pasta is extremely cheap.
And yet I bet if I clicked on your recent post history you play plenty of videogames.
Yeah! From back when I had a job close to home, when my parents were happily together and the house was plentiful with food, that was the time I bought my games/systems, because I had the money to save or spend. I haven't bought one since Bloodborne, Witcher 3 being a birthday present from a friend.
As is the case so often in life, things are often better when you talk about them. Having a discussion with your mom while trying to keep your emotions in check is good practice for the "real world™." There will be many occasion where you're going to have to deal with people you want to snap at with whom you have 0 connection (unlike you here with your mother). Any other advice besides suck it up is going to be worthless if you aren't willing to discuss anything.
Here's a protip OP: With what you're spending on the dollar menu, you could be cooking plenty.
http://parentingsquad.com/6-dinner-ideas-for-under-six-dollars-for-a-family-of-six
http://www.builtlean.com/2013/04/15/healthy-food-budget/
http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/my-money/2014/09/03/6-healthy-dinner-recipes-that-cost-6
Frittatas are delicious btw. Try cooking one.
http://parentingsquad.com/6-dinner-ideas-for-under-six-dollars-for-a-family-of-six
http://www.builtlean.com/2013/04/15/healthy-food-budget/
http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/my-money/2014/09/03/6-healthy-dinner-recipes-that-cost-6
Frittatas are delicious btw. Try cooking one.
Gas. 04 Trailblazer and an hour commute don't mix well.
I'll try to figure out ways for cheap meals. And I'll attempt talking to my mom this weekend.
Sell some of your stuff?
10 seconds of searching reveals you have a flagship Sony phone that is 8 months old, a gaming PC with a GTX970, bought some graphic novels a few weeks back.
You claim you don't have money to eat; you are a 19 year old man.. sell your toys.
Not detective gaffing you; I just have a hard time swallowing sob stories on gaming forums from people with high end tech. When I was your age I had no parents giving me anything, and i sure as hell wasn't using modern tech.
m_shortpants
Member
So you aren't getting paid enough to even make it to your job? I'm a little confused here.
Ninja Scooter
Member
all of your work money goes towards gas expenses to get to work? So you net no money from your paychecks? Unless it's some kind of internship that's probably a sign that you should find a different job.
I know I'm going to sound like a dick, but get a new job. If you're not bringing money home then it's pointless.
It's a low pay entry level position in my career, the first I've gotten. It doesn't pay the greatest.
outunderthestars
Banned
OnionPowder
Member
Is it full time? If so even minimum wage at 40 hours a week would be like 20% in gas if you filled up $50 a week
OnionPowder
Member
Sell your plasma before your 970
1) When I got the phone? That was my parents.
2) I spent over a year saving for that computer. It's not like it was easy spending.
3) The novels were right as this was starting, before I got the new job in the city and my mom quit paying for things. I had expendable income then.
You're right in that I might have to sell some things. But it's not like I've never had expendable income. It just disappeared in the past two weeks or so.
Part time, that's the killer. Majoring in radio broadcasting and got lucky in getting this job, as most have to intern first, but I found a good connection. But it's only been a few weeks, and I'm not making much. $236 a check. And I fill up on more than one occasion per week.
AwesomePossum
Member
Uh, you're a fucking adult.
Any chance you'll expand on this? You're going to get other opportunities in your career, and you're 19. You might need to find work that takes care of more immediate issues now.
D
Deleted member 8095
Unconfirmed Member
This whole sob story of anger and needing to vent was brought on by two weeks of money problems? Good god.
soundscream
Member
How much do you make. Because if its a minimum wage job you would be better off with something closer to home. But even after gas how much do you have left from your paycheck? Because if your not paying for rent where is your money going?
PirateKing
Junior Member
OP, learn to cook. If I can do it, you can too.
Ninja Scooter
Member
You're in a shitty situation but sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, put certain things on hold or cut back on other things, it's just the way of the world. It happens at different times to different people but things aren't going to change if you just leave things the way they are. It sounds like you're parents were providing for you (and pretty nicely from the sounds of it) up until recently but you are an adult now. Time to make things happen for yourself because from the sounds of it nobody is going to do it for you anymore.
You're living under her roof, so it's hard to complain about much, I know that feel. Sounds like you're just going to have to pull the slack for your mom, find some kind of additional income for you and brother. Could also get some government assistance, although they have cut SNAP benefits,
ZackieChan
Member
It's almost as if the divorce could be more tough on her than her adult-aged son. Perish the thought.
Let's add my parents splitting, my mom turning into a different person, NO FOOD IN THIS HOUSE FOR TWO WEEKS. Heaven forbid I wanna vent.
outunderthestars
Banned
Dude. Its been two weeks. You'd probably be a mess for longer than that if you fried your GPU, let alone a 20 year marriage.
Michael F. Assbender
Banned
Jesus Christ, all the people telling OP to quit being a pussy and fend for himself. The problem seems to be that he's between a rock and a hard place. There's no money coming in for necessities, it's not going to magically fall out of his ass, and his mom (the house's primary breadwinner) has decided to fuck off and try to be a kid again.
OP, talk to her. Tell her you get that she's gone thru a lot and she wants to stretch her (newly unbound) legs, but that she still has responsibilities. Tell her you'll help as much as you possibly can, but she has to meet you halfway. Remind her that you're her son, that you love her very much, and that you're still a team--but she needs to help keep that team together because it's falling apart.
Good luck, man.
OP, talk to her. Tell her you get that she's gone thru a lot and she wants to stretch her (newly unbound) legs, but that she still has responsibilities. Tell her you'll help as much as you possibly can, but she has to meet you halfway. Remind her that you're her son, that you love her very much, and that you're still a team--but she needs to help keep that team together because it's falling apart.
Good luck, man.
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Sorry to hear that.
My mom made my childhood a living hell. Rage fits, broke stuff. Called me names. Always had to be complaining about something, never let herself be happy, sucked the life out the room. Talked about doing drugs and sleeping around when she was young destroying my image of her completely. Embarrassed me in public. Fed us nothing but fatty foods. Almost drove me insane. So I feel you.
She's your mom, though. I know it's rough, but you gotta try to love her anyway. She's human and is going to make boneheaded human moves. Move out when you can, endure it for now, and tell her what's bothering you, but don't expect it to change. See your dad when you're able to, like you've been doing. Oh, and cook your own meals. Get instant meals from the frozen aisle of the grocery store if you have to, because anything is better than fast food.
My mom made my childhood a living hell. Rage fits, broke stuff. Called me names. Always had to be complaining about something, never let herself be happy, sucked the life out the room. Talked about doing drugs and sleeping around when she was young destroying my image of her completely. Embarrassed me in public. Fed us nothing but fatty foods. Almost drove me insane. So I feel you.
She's your mom, though. I know it's rough, but you gotta try to love her anyway. She's human and is going to make boneheaded human moves. Move out when you can, endure it for now, and tell her what's bothering you, but don't expect it to change. See your dad when you're able to, like you've been doing. Oh, and cook your own meals. Get instant meals from the frozen aisle of the grocery store if you have to, because anything is better than fast food.
Hey, maybe you're right. Thanks for your wonderful advice. I've never once said she can't be a mess. It's a rough time for every single one of us. My main point is the lack of food, but at least you can read about my GPU instead of that.
Thank you. I'm gonna try and talk to her this weekend, since we work separate times tomorrow, and she's having her friends over. Gonna try to avoid that trainwreck.
Liljagare
Banned
Sounds like it is your first hard time in a now adult life. You gotta keep cool and level headed when life tosses you lemons, and boy, will life throw alot of them at you during your life time.
Its called living, and living can if you are lucky, be hard, if you are unlucky, it can be really hard most of the time. Now is the time to put the brain to good use, find solutions instead of getting stopped by the problems. It isn't always easy to do, esp. with emotions and feelings raging, but it is what you have to do in problematic times.
You'll live, and learn, and be better prepared for the next time things go awry. Communicate with the people in your life too, always remember that piece of advice! People aren't mindreaders and its awfully hard to notice if someone is depressed/upset/angry if they don't talk.
Its called living, and living can if you are lucky, be hard, if you are unlucky, it can be really hard most of the time. Now is the time to put the brain to good use, find solutions instead of getting stopped by the problems. It isn't always easy to do, esp. with emotions and feelings raging, but it is what you have to do in problematic times.
You'll live, and learn, and be better prepared for the next time things go awry. Communicate with the people in your life too, always remember that piece of advice! People aren't mindreaders and its awfully hard to notice if someone is depressed/upset/angry if they don't talk.
outunderthestars
Banned
Eating at home would be cheaper. She buys groceries and you cook the meal.
On the issue of cooking: go to the library and check out some cookbooks for people on a tight budget. Your girlfriend will respect your initiative and maturity.
You're welcome.
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