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[Artanisix]

"The problem seems to be that he's between a rock and a hard place."

Says he can cook, but spends his hard-earned cash on chickenburgers from McDonalds instead of several cartons of pasta, cans of beans, and other cheap foods.

Has a new phone, an expensive video card, an ips monitor, and more toys. Hasn't considered selling them yet.

Has zero empathy for his mother's divorce. Her mom is forty, he's nineteen. Mom had OP when she was twenty-one years old and has put up with his shit for half of her life. OP hasn't bothered talking to his mom yet.

Does OPs situation suck? Yes. Hard to feel sympathy when there are a lot of solutions in front of him.

 

[McBryBry]

You're welcome.

Like I said, I'm gonna try to talk to her, and do what I can about meals. So really. Thank you.

 

[outunderthestars]

Like I said, I'm gonna try to talk to her, and do what I can about meals. So really. Thank you.

Awesome. Cooking GAF has a few inexpensive/beginner recipe threads with great food ideas.

 

[Jigorath]

Dude, you're nineteen... go buy your own groceries and learn how to cook.

 

[Oxirane]

As my mom would say, "Do you have two broken arms?"

Are you and your mom famous on Reddit, by any chance?

 

[ZackieChan]

Your job is part time? Maybe you should find another part time job, as well? What are you doing with the rest of your time? Now some lawns or something. Your girlfriend is babysitting - can you help with that?

Also, the Neogaf OP rule of actually talking to the other person being a last resort is in full effect, it seems.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

Tell your mom to sell something if she doesn't have money. Stop avoiding the fight and just talk like an adult even if your mom isn't acting like one.

Also, the $5 or whatever you gf is buying food for your brother and you can make a lot of food. Stop using this as a crutch too. You can make good soups that will last like 5 or 6 meals.

If all else fails, sell your own shit.

 

[Skeyser]

OP keeps stressing the fact that there's no food, but he gets to get fat off that sweet sweet free McDonald that his gf gives him.

 

[EatinOlives]

Yeah, you should talk to your mom. It sounds like the "couponing" is a way to occupy her mind with something else, the pot smoking helps her deal with stress, and while she probably knows that she hasn't cooked in a long time, that she thinks "well they're feeding themselves".

In other words, the divorce is taking a toll on her. That's not to say she isn't neglecting you, which she is, but chances are good she's not noticing the extent of the neglect.

 

[Magni]

It's a low pay entry level position in my career, the first I've gotten. It doesn't pay the greatest.

How long have you had this job? Ask for a raise/look for other jobs.

 

[Partition]

excuse me ????????

you are NINE-TEEN

or in mathematical terms, 18 + x = 19, x = 1, one year PAST turning into a legal adult.

you live in YA moms home for FREE, even after her going through a divorce, you still expect her to baby you and cook YA meals and do YA laundry? no food in the house? wait, you have a job too? you can't buy YA own food?

jesus christ. not to mention cooking is fucking easy. food network is on basic cable which I'm sure you make use of, that your mom pays for, i've taught myself to become a pretty accomplished cook { S I M P L Y } by watching that channel and putting what I learn into practice.

good for ya mom though, I'm glad she's able to enjoy her life with her friends and hasn't become a slave to HA nine teen year old.

 

[Atlantis]

excuse me ????????

you are NINE-TEEN

or in mathematical terms, 18 + x = 19, x = 1, one year PAST turning into a legal adult.

you live in YA moms home for FREE, even after her going through a divorce, you still expect her to baby you and cook YA meals and do YA laundry? no food in the house? wait, you have a job too? you can't buy YA own food?

jesus christ. not to mention cooking is fucking easy. food network is on basic cable which I'm sure you make use of, that your mom pays for, i've taught myself to become a pretty accomplished cook { S I M P L Y } by watching that channel and putting what I learn into practice.

good for ya mom though, I'm glad she's able to enjoy her life with her friends and hasn't become a slave to HA nine teen year old.

 

[chronic_archaic]

I'll have to echo some statements here. My mom was hospitalized last year - I was 17 at the time. I only worked two days a week (mental health issues), pretty much using most of that cash to sustain myself while my older sister managed bills and such. You can really stretch food money far if you try. I tend to like rice myself - it's incredibly filling and easily beats Ramen for a cheap meal. 19 is still quite young - so I don't blame you being upset your mother has effectively stopped carrying. But on the flipside - this is time you need to start forming into your own self, and having an idea of what you want to do for the future now, not later.

 

[Wensih]

couponers buy shit like 23 pounds of mayo, and $300 worth of toilet paper for $30. Its never anything good like a bunch of steaks, or even bread and water.

TP is expensive yo. If I could find $300 of toilet paper for $30, then I would buy that too.

 

[Sai-kun]

excuse me ????????

you are NINE-TEEN

or in mathematical terms, 18 + x = 19, x = 1, one year PAST turning into a legal adult.

you live in YA moms home for FREE, even after her going through a divorce, you still expect her to baby you and cook YA meals and do YA laundry? no food in the house? wait, you have a job too? you can't buy YA own food?

jesus christ. not to mention cooking is fucking easy. food network is on basic cable which I'm sure you make use of, that your mom pays for, i've taught myself to become a pretty accomplished cook { S I M P L Y } by watching that channel and putting what I learn into practice.

good for ya mom though, I'm glad she's able to enjoy her life with her friends and hasn't become a slave to HA nine teen year old.

totally agreed with this lol

 

[xxracerxx]

Wait...am I understanding correctly that the OP only earns enough to pay for gas to and from his job? Good lord.

 

[OnionPowder]

Part time, that's the killer. Majoring in radio broadcasting and got lucky in getting this job, as most have to intern first, but I found a good connection. But it's only been a few weeks, and I'm not making much. $236 a check. And I fill up on more than one occasion per week.

If you spent $70 a week on gas then you'd still have around $160 for everything else. Are you paying rent? If not then go buy some food. If you are then tell your mom that you are taking part of the rent and you're going to the store to buy everybody some food.

EDIT: unless you're paid biweekly. If true then how are you filling up more than once a week if you're working like 20 hours or so a week.

 

[Kieli]

Paying rent to live at your family house weirds me out.

edit: i mean if ur goig to pay rent, why pay it to ur parents when u can pay it to someone else to get your own room/apartment and not deal with nagging or stupid rules or whatever

 

[m3k]

Start cooking... Leave your mum alone, give your bro money and if your mum starts relying on you tell her to sort her shit out. You need to learn how to cook youngn

 

[besada]

How long have you had this job? Ask for a raise/look for other jobs.

Or get a second job to make up the difference. If he's only working twenty hours, there's no reason not to get another part-time job. Food crisis solved!

 

[kamakazi5]

I don't really care about the mom part, like you already said you would do, try and speak with her. If nothing comes of it then take a little out of what you pay in rent and use it for buying some food to cook. I skimmed most of the thread so I'm not sure if you covered it but but what about getting another part time job?

All situations are different but I moved out at 17 to live with a friend and paid a little in rent but still got by. I made crap money as well but did work more hours than you. It's tough but don't depend on her to do anything for you. If she kicked you out tomorrow you wouldn't just drop dead, you would fight even harder. You're lucky you have a vehicle, job, and place to live. Just do your best to work a little harder and you'll be good.

 

[EatinOlives]

This may have already been answered, but are you currently a student?

 

[Qasiel]

Paying rent to live at your family house weirds me out.

edit: i mean if ur goig to pay rent, why pay it to ur parents when u can pay it to someone else to get your own room/apartment and not deal with nagging or stupid rules or whatever

When I was still living at home and started earning money I used to throw my parents some cash to help out around the house. The "rent" you usually pay your parents is far less than actually renting a place yourself.

 

[FZZ]

ITT I learned that at 19 you're a grown adult and your mom smoking pot and choosing to party over getting food for her kids is okay because she's having a hard time.

Fucking OP needs to grow up and act like an adult!

 

[Kinokou]

That's what I would think, but any time I ask about groceries she tells me she has no money. And sorry, but I'm not gonna be ashamed that my girlfriend sees what's going on and tries to get some semi real food in me.

Here's my thoughts this: Your GF is either delusional about the cost of groceries VS eating out or she actually enjoy eating out more and doesn't mind paying.

So it's the first case and you are to bring up groceries again I suggest you take a practical approach, find out how much you spend eating out for X days, now take the same amount of days and see if you can compose a menu that is less costly and which you are able to make at home and present it to her as a valid option to eating out with the price comparison mentioned. Buying in bulk usually makes things cheaper in the long run, but you might lack some variety in the beginning.

Or if it is the second case you keep going as you do in the food way.

And best of luck when you take the situation up with your mom, hopefully she will understand that she has been acting irresponsible towards you and (especially) your brother.

ITT I learned that at 19 you're a grown adult and your mom smoking pot and choosing to party over getting food for her kids is okay because she's having a hard time.

Fucking OP needs to grow up and act like an adult!

Sorry to single you out, but as OP said his brother is still underage. It's not okay to neglect her underage son like that, OP being concerned not just about himself and asking for advice is a very adult thing to do.

 

[jond76]

You say you're 19 and just started your career? Pull the rip cord and bail out. Your brother can go stay with dad so it won't be both of you.

You are emancipated, the door is there, you just gotta walk through it.

 

[Citizen Mane]

Sounds like you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your mom if she's not feeding her 16 year old. If you're buying yourself fast food all the time, there are plenty of cheap food options at grocery stores you could pick up and easily make yourself. Might be a better option. You're working so you can probably scrounge up something to feed yourself, but there's no excuse for her to not feed your brother.

Lol @ GAF shitting on this kid for being upset that his 40 year old mother is more interested in partying than being a parent to a 16 year old. I'm sure you all paid every cent for your STEM degrees and anime figurines without help from mommy and daddy, very awe-inspiring.

 

[Shuggananas]

You've got a job, I suppose you can afford food or even a place of your own

 

[Bananajama]

My folks went through a divorce last year

Hadn't had a clue where my dad went

The next 3-6 months were a general personal hell for me as we have no relatives nearby so it was just me and my mum. But I put up with it and did what I could because well - it's my Mum.

Had to dash out of work on multiple occasions to see my Mum in hospital after suddenly collapsing at work.

Booked time off to look after her at home as I wasn't sure what frame of mind she was in.

Did all the grocery shopping, cooking, washing & cleaning not because she wasn't doing it but I wanted my mum just to relax and do whatever she needed to mentally heal.

From what I've read - I think she just needs a supportive shoulder and time to find her feet again. The smoking pot doesn't help obviously.

But get things done around the house, cook meals for the family.
Show you're trying to hold what you have left together.

And talk.

 

[jimmyd]

When I was going through hard times I sold my PS3, games, TV, guitar amplifier, expensive jackets only once-worn, books...
I learned how to make flatbreads/tortillas with just flour, water, salt and oil (couldn't afford to buy bread, it disappeared too fast). Food was usually canned chickpeas/cannelloni beans made into a curry or with a tomato based sauce with rice or pasta (good idea to have these long-life foods on hand, luckily I already did). Apples for snacks when I could buy them. It was depressing as hell and I went anaemic plus probably very deficient in many other nutrients but didn't go too hungry. Thousands of online recipes to help you out with what little ingredients you might have at home.

 

[numble]

You've got a job, I suppose you can afford food or even a place of your own

His job involves reenacting the struggles of Sisyphus.

 

[Gnome]

If you can afford to move out, do so.

 

[Nugg]

There's a typo in your first post OP, you said you're 19 when it's obvious you're 13.

Spoiler

Ask your mother for money (or better, get a job), go grocery shopping and cook your goddamn food.

 

[Magni]

Or get a second job to make up the difference. If he's only working twenty hours, there's no reason not to get another part-time job. Food crisis solved!

He's spending that much gas for a part-time job? Wow yeah get a second job if you can't find a full-time one.

 

[PayOffWizard]

- "Me (19) and my brother (16) live with her" (You're an adult and you live in her house)

- "my mom will refuse to give him gas money" (Why should you're mum just give you or your brother money? you should be thankful if she gives you $10 pocket money a week.)

- "Tonight was the first real homemade meal I've had in weeks" ( Learn to cook its really not that hard. Maybe make a meal for her and your brother)

- "There's no food in the house. She hasn't gone grocery shopping since she kicked my dad out"
(Do it yourself)

- "My girlfriend usually pays at restaurants when we go" ( i dont even...)

Please change the title of the thread to - GAF, I'm living the dream. Free rent, free food.

 

[TheChewyWaffles]

I do not get the empathy here for a mother who will not feed her children. That's neglect and she should be ashamed, divorce or not. Some of you have your priorities way out whack.

OP is it not possible for both of you to leave and live with your dad?

 

[SmokyDave]

Take some responsibility and cut your mum some slack at what must be a very difficult time for her.

 

[acheron_xl]

There's a typo in your first post OP, you said you're 19 when it's obvious you're 13.

Spoiler

Ask your mother for money (or better, get a job), go grocery shopping and cook your goddamn food.

It's another data point for my realization that adulthood really starts around 26 nowadays.

 

[Atolm]

I don't get all those responses "She's having a hard time, let her have fun and smoke weed". A 40-years old smoking pot and partying with boys the same age as OP's is fucking ridiculous, and more so in this case when she's neglecting an underage kid.

You see, the hard thing about parenting is that once you're a father you have zero excuses for neglecting your kids and a divorce is not a valid one. Everyone asks OP to behave like an adult, well, the same goes for the mother too.

Also just because OP is 19 doesn't mean he has the maturity to fight off this situation because you don't get the adult trait the day you turn 18, you know.

So stop blaming OP. He's not the one behaving like a kid; his mother is. Partying and smoking weed is what OP should be doing by now, not his mother.

 

[Seraph_Nicholas]

Dude, sign up for food stamps.

Also, itemize expenses incurred by you/your brother, and show her. If she says 'I don't have money', ask her what her plan to GET money is. Ask her if she has any suggestions for ways that you can help. Don't allow her to disengage from her problems and her family.

Jesus, a babysitter and someone who makes LESS than a babysitter, raising two kids...

 

[Transhuman]

So stop blaming OP. He's not the one behaving like a kid; his mother is. Partying and smoking weed is what OP should be doing by now, not his mother.

hahahaha

I mean I knew there'd be some pro-sheltered posts, but still...

 

[MaschinenZimmer]

The shitting on the OP in this thread is ridiculous. He is 19 years old and has no basic cooking skills. That should tell you a lot about the household he has grown up. Expecting that he should turn magically into a full blown adult in a time frame of a few weeks is kind of unrealistic.

He is clearly still in the "I CAN BE ANYTHING!!" -phase. Dude is wasting his time and money on some shitty no future job and nobody had the balls to tell him that a job in which nobody is willing to pay money to live a life is of no worth. OP, if a job costs you more money than you earn, it's not a job, it's a hobby. Radio broadcasting? Give me a break. Ask yourself for what skill people are willing to pay for. Then learn or study that skill.

Talk to your mom and if that ain't help, contact the authorities. 19 or not, she still has a 16 years old and 40 years old women should have her priorities straight. Smoking weed? Fine, not more worse than alcohol imo; but not when it interferes with your parental responsibilities.

 

[WanderingWind]

The shitting on the OP in this thread is ridiculous. He is 19 years old and has no basic cooking skills. That should tell you a lot about the household he has grown up. Expecting that he should turn magically into a full blown adult in a time frame of a few weeks is kind of unrealistic.

He is clearly still in the "I CAN BE ANYTHING!!" -phase. Dude is wasting his time and money on some shitty no future job and nobody had the balls to tell him that a job in which nobody is willing to pay money to live a life is of no worth. OP, if a job costs you more money than you earn, it's not a job, it's a hobby. Radio broadcasting? Give me a break. Ask yourself for what skill people are willing to pay for. Then learn or study that skill.

Talk to your mom and if that ain't help, contact the authorities. 19 or not, she still has a 16 years old and 40 years old women should have her priorities straight. Smoking weed? Fine, not more worse than alcohol imo; but not when it interferes with your parental responsibilities.

Yeah, listen to this guy. Narc on your mom. That will definitely help matters.

 

[Transhuman]

The shitting on the OP in this thread is ridiculous. He is 19 years old and has no basic cooking skills. That should tell you a lot about the household he has grown up. Expecting that he should turn magically into a full blown adult in a time frame of a few weeks is kind of unrealistic.

How many more months should he suck his thumb before moving on with his life?

 

[30yearsofhurt]

You're 19 and you're complaining about your mum not cooking you dinner?

You lazy shit.

Get up off your arse and start doing something yourself.

 

[ogbg]

At some point you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that you need to provide for yourself and eventually others too. May as well be now.

 

[Seraph_Nicholas]

http://dss.mo.gov/fsd/fstamp/

Here's the application. You can print it at any local library or work-aid center. It's called Worksource here in Washington, but most states have something like it. Put it in, and god willing they'll give you a card the same day. YMMV, but that's how it's done around here.

 

[aku:jiki]

lol at venting about how real the struggle is while driving to work as some kind of radio intern in an '04 SUV, eating out every night and chilling with the latest videogames.

OP should probably try working in construction, driving a '68 Volvo where the doors don't open, using a CRT from 1989 and having to figure out ways to make ramen not taste like ramen every single night.

 

[Caronte]

And this, OP, is why you don't talk about your parents issues in GAF. It's always the same.

 

[MicH]

The shitting on the OP in this thread is ridiculous. He is 19 years old and has no basic cooking skills. That should tell you a lot about the household he has grown up. Expecting that he should turn magically into a full blown adult in a time frame of a few weeks is kind of unrealistic.

He is clearly still in the "I CAN BE ANYTHING!!" -phase. Dude is wasting his time and money on some shitty no future job and nobody had the balls to tell him that a job in which nobody is willing to pay money to live a life is of no worth. OP, if a job costs you more money than you earn, it's not a job, it's a hobby. Radio broadcasting? Give me a break. Ask yourself for what skill people are willing to pay for. Then learn or study that skill.

Talk to your mom and if that ain't help, contact the authorities. 19 or not, she still has a 16 years old and 40 years old women should have her priorities straight. Smoking weed? Fine, not more worse than alcohol imo; but not when it interferes with your parental responsibilities.

Came here to say this. It may be your dream, but you're obviously not in a place where you can have a job that's really just an unpaid internship