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Girl Age: Part Two. AKA: I Hate My Life
- Thread starter KR3W
- Start date
- Status
DontStopTheTatakai
Banned
KR3W said:
Heh
BronzeWolf
Banned
NaughtyCalibur said:
I have the same problem. I have my friends (engineers, you know the type) come asking me why the girl is having so many "doubts". I always tell them NOT TO SAY THEY LIKE THEM, it's as awkward for them as it is for you. I think dating is good as long as it is fun for you and for them. If you are having fun, it's very probable that she is having fun and she'll love that.
Conversations like the ones you had only undermine your chances with her
They never do what I advise them to do and always end up failing, or succeeding IN SPITE of their mishaps, not because of them.
If what you are doing doesn't produce you good results, why keep doing it?
Touch her, touch her often, touch her early, put your face near hers, it's quite simple pulling a kiss, really.
(I am not a Don Juan by any means, but one doesn't need to be a sailor to know where the wind blows)
DanteFox
Member
Since you know this girl from church, and you say she is christian, I'm going to assume you're christian. This makes giving you advice very easy, since I know where your coming from (except for the middle eastern culture). As you can see, most people here will tell you to move on and try different things. Here's my advice: if you don't feel she is worth it, move on. If you feel she's truly wife material, and you love her, just remember that "love is patient, love is kind". Odds are, if you know she feels the same way about you, you just have to be patient with her, let her think things over, and respect her decision and her culture while at the same time persistently trying to win her over. That's really all you can do.
Again, whether or not she's worth, only you know. If she is, she's worth waiting for.
Again, whether or not she's worth, only you know. If she is, she's worth waiting for.
Never tell a girl you like her.
So far you've been doing well, right up to the point where you turned into a lemming and started running towards the cliff.
I'm going to show you two sentences and I want you to figure out what the difference is between them:
1. I like you too.
2. I like you.
Can you spot the difference?
Yes, I know that it's fairly obvious, but this is where a guy screws up the beginning of what otherwise could be a great relationship.
Sentence #1 is in reply to her saying that she likes you. It's perfectly fine to answer back that you like her too. Then talk about what a hot day it is, or something in a safer zone of conversation.
Sentence #2 is where the guy, all horny and infatuated with his new (girlfriend) toy that he turns into a wussy puppy and says "I like you" in the hopes that these couple of words will make everything in the relationship even better, no matter what a dork the guy internally feels he is, no matter how amazed he is that he actually has a chance with the girl of his dreams. The guy is trying to overcome his insecurities with these few words.
Of course all that he's really done by blurting out "I like you" is given all the power of the relationship away to the girl, shown how easily controlled he can be because he's such a wuss, not the intelligent and confident guy the girl thought he is (up to the blurting out, that is).
Then she says back to him "You're a great friend" and that's the end of their dating. Of course the guy is blindsided, he never saw it coming. And for the rest of his life he'll never figure out the reasons why he messed up.
After all, all he said was how he felt about the girl, right?
Wrong!
In these few words he gave away a mountainful of information and every bit of it was BAD!
Girls need to feel attraction to a guy. And there are plenty of ways that this attraction happens and grows. And girls need to continually feel this attraction get stronger, for it to grow as the relationship progresses or it's over.
Ways that girls feel attraction:
1. Physical attraction - You're a clean, nice smelling guy that dresses well and has a better than average body type
2. Intelligent attraction - You're smart, capable and she instinctively knows that you'll be able to take care of her
3. Humor attraction - You're funny and using your humor you make her feel safe and all warm and fuzzy inside.
Of course there are many more ways for girls to be attracted to guys and I'm not going to cover all of them here, but you get my point right? Nothing above says that she feels more attraction when the guy is mooning over her saying "I like you". It's a relationship destroyer.
BTW. The whole religious/conservative parents thing is just an excuse; a really good excuse because you apparently believe it.
So far you've been doing well, right up to the point where you turned into a lemming and started running towards the cliff.
I'm going to show you two sentences and I want you to figure out what the difference is between them:
1. I like you too.
2. I like you.
Can you spot the difference?
Yes, I know that it's fairly obvious, but this is where a guy screws up the beginning of what otherwise could be a great relationship.
Sentence #1 is in reply to her saying that she likes you. It's perfectly fine to answer back that you like her too. Then talk about what a hot day it is, or something in a safer zone of conversation.
Sentence #2 is where the guy, all horny and infatuated with his new (girlfriend) toy that he turns into a wussy puppy and says "I like you" in the hopes that these couple of words will make everything in the relationship even better, no matter what a dork the guy internally feels he is, no matter how amazed he is that he actually has a chance with the girl of his dreams. The guy is trying to overcome his insecurities with these few words.
Of course all that he's really done by blurting out "I like you" is given all the power of the relationship away to the girl, shown how easily controlled he can be because he's such a wuss, not the intelligent and confident guy the girl thought he is (up to the blurting out, that is).
Then she says back to him "You're a great friend" and that's the end of their dating. Of course the guy is blindsided, he never saw it coming. And for the rest of his life he'll never figure out the reasons why he messed up.
After all, all he said was how he felt about the girl, right?
Wrong!
In these few words he gave away a mountainful of information and every bit of it was BAD!
Girls need to feel attraction to a guy. And there are plenty of ways that this attraction happens and grows. And girls need to continually feel this attraction get stronger, for it to grow as the relationship progresses or it's over.
Ways that girls feel attraction:
1. Physical attraction - You're a clean, nice smelling guy that dresses well and has a better than average body type
2. Intelligent attraction - You're smart, capable and she instinctively knows that you'll be able to take care of her
3. Humor attraction - You're funny and using your humor you make her feel safe and all warm and fuzzy inside.
Of course there are many more ways for girls to be attracted to guys and I'm not going to cover all of them here, but you get my point right? Nothing above says that she feels more attraction when the guy is mooning over her saying "I like you". It's a relationship destroyer.
BTW. The whole religious/conservative parents thing is just an excuse; a really good excuse because you apparently believe it.
Look here. Keep her around. Try to temper your feelings, but keep her around as a friend if that's all you can get for now. Either one day she'll see the light, or you'll have a friend that you like a lot. Either way you win, if you get what I'm saying.
Edit: But of course what I'm saying is: shop around as long as she isn't committed to you.
Edit: But of course what I'm saying is: shop around as long as she isn't committed to you.
SundaySounds
Banned
Dude, I'm not saying give up on her, but Don't get your hopes up. Go meet some other people. If she decides later that she's ready, that's cool, but there's no sense in just sitting on your ass waiting for it to happen.
I believe people need to date around before a relationship can be serious and lasting. People need to find out things about themselves, get experience, and know what they want.
She's too unexperienced, doesn't seem like she can date anytime soon, and you will never be able to tap that ass in a million years with her strict family.
Also, you don't love her.
Find an older girl you can spend time alone with.
She's too unexperienced, doesn't seem like she can date anytime soon, and you will never be able to tap that ass in a million years with her strict family.
Also, you don't love her.
Find an older girl you can spend time alone with.
jamesinclair
Banned
KR3W said:
My favorite part.
What you need to do is take away her fearful emotions and make her feel safe. All she sees right now are problems with getting involved with you due to religion, age, and culture. These problems surfaced in her mind because you told her you like her, forcing her to weigh all factor conciously. The reason she had to weigh these factors in the first place was because she didn't feel safe enough about the future.KR3W said:
Since you like to talk to girls about feelings before you even get to know them properly I'll give you this advice: Don't tell her she's safe with you, make her FEEL safe with you.
Iced_Eagle
Member
I just got out of a relationship man, and let me tell you... if crap like this gets in the way, let it be.
If it's meant to happen, it will happen eventually regardless. Do NOT force it though, or you will cause a shitstorm from her parents and good luck coming back from that hole, especially from how you describe it.
Also, realize that you are fucking 18 and she is 17. You just have a big crush, that's all. Even though you may not want to move on, you will. No matter how "heart broken" and depressed you may feel, they will pass. Trust me, these past two weeks I've been heartbroken and depressed as fuck. I hateeee it, but I know it will pass. I hope you can make the same realization.
Maybe a year or two from now, you will still be talking to her and you can work something out then. It will be even more magical then because it will be like "We've waited so long for this!"
If it's meant to happen, it will happen eventually regardless. Do NOT force it though, or you will cause a shitstorm from her parents and good luck coming back from that hole, especially from how you describe it.
Also, realize that you are fucking 18 and she is 17. You just have a big crush, that's all. Even though you may not want to move on, you will. No matter how "heart broken" and depressed you may feel, they will pass. Trust me, these past two weeks I've been heartbroken and depressed as fuck. I hateeee it, but I know it will pass. I hope you can make the same realization.
Maybe a year or two from now, you will still be talking to her and you can work something out then. It will be even more magical then because it will be like "We've waited so long for this!"
People who let their parents rule their love life freak me the fuck out.
Stay strong OP, you should keep being friendly with the girl without expecting more out of it. You'll see where it goes from there, if she can't make a decision you probably deserve more than her.
Stay strong OP, you should keep being friendly with the girl without expecting more out of it. You'll see where it goes from there, if she can't make a decision you probably deserve more than her.
UnholySpectacle
Member
Like many others have said, you are 18, move on. I know it is pointless to give this advice because you don't know any better, and still won't till 10 years from now. Ah, to be young again.
caffeinated
Member
I just read the OP.
I don't wanna be an asshole but this sounds like she wants to keep looking for a better chances(man) while keeping you like a safety school.
If she is that religious and got only one shot for marriage, I wouldn't blame her for doing this. That's the most reasonable thing to do in that kinda case.
I don't wanna be an asshole but this sounds like she wants to keep looking for a better chances(man) while keeping you like a safety school.
If she is that religious and got only one shot for marriage, I wouldn't blame her for doing this. That's the most reasonable thing to do in that kinda case.
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