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Had a few beers, then a game idea.

S

Sethos

Banned
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What is it?
The best fucking thing since snus.

Yeah yeah, what’s it about?
It’s a furniture assembly game.

What …
Relax bro.

Maybe an explanation is in order?
Jeez what’s with you. We all know IKEA furniture in general requires assembly. Sometimes it takes way too long, sometimes the manuals makes zero damn sense and I’ve even heard stories of LENNART assisted suicide.

You really believe that will catch on?
No.

What’s with the name?
Sheer brilliance!

Yeah but the reasoning behind the name?
God. Well I obviously can’t call it something IKEA related as that’s probably copyrighted. So IKEA became IDEA with a NO slapped in front of it, suddenly you have NO IDEA ( How to assemble this shit ).

Okay, so do you just build furniture?
Pretty much.

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The game’s core is just assembly. You get a toolbox, a manual and a clean interface to click pieces together.

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Of course there’s more to it. This isn’t some easy to assemble shit where everything just goes according to plan.

Gameplay modes:

Time-Attack – In a race against to clock, you need to assemble your assigned furniture before your wife comes home. Your toolbox will be missing some tools, manual will not be 100% accurate and a few screws might be missing.

Nag-Attack – Your wife is home. She will make your work difficult. You will be name-called, you will be called out for you incompetency, she might borrow tools or the manual for a few minutes and tell you how it is done – Which usually isn’t 100% accurate. You are on a shorter time limit as she wants her shit assembled asap.

Survival-Build – World as come to an end. You are stuck in an underground bunker and need to assemble survival related furniture. You now have to work against the clock but also keep an eye on your hydration, hunger and even blood levels as you might cut yourself while assembling.






Be honest GAF, how bad is this idea? Should I just go watch a movie?
 
It sounds like one of those " toy" games, in concept at least, depends on how deep you go with it, could be an entire interior design level etc.
 
Sounds like this should be a mobile game where you have micro-transactions that allow you to hire Swedish handymen to speed up certain parts of the assembly process.
 
I kind of like it. Nag-attack mode sounds pretty good. Also, another fun thing to do with IKEA furniture is partially disassemble it while moving to a new living space. have it get damaged in transit, and loose some screws needed to hold it together.
 
Would it have intentionally bad QWOP/Surgeon Simulator controls?

Also, once you complete the furniture there should be a bonus round where you get to smash it to pieces with a sledgehammer.
 
if you put a decorating aspect into the game like Animal Crossing, I'm sure it would improve.

you could order something from a catalog (ikea style) then it arrives and you are scored for how well you put it together in the time limit. like, it could be imperfect but still stand and be lop-sided or something

then you decorate a room and are graded on that as well
 
This is hilarious. They should intentionally make puzzles impossible by forgetting one proprietary screw.
 
So a furniture assembly simulator you say.


Sound so boring it would actually be interesting! Would buy for little money

Nag-attack mode sounds like the shit!
 
Was half expecting a Kickstarter link in that OP. As a guy that drinks many beers and buys stuff from Ikea I can get behind this idea.
 
OP I think your idea has some merit. Perhaps not as you described, a somewhat similar idea along the lines of a Minecraft, but more photo-realistic and interior-focused.

Basically a sand-box type of game where you can build furniture from scratch however you want. Could be free-to-play and people could pay for more textures / pieces for more customizable furniture.

Could design, share and trade your rooms and furniture with other users. Create your dream mansion from the ground up.

I'd give it a shot at least.

I might be just describing a graphic design class though too.
 
Wii U exclusive

Requires Motion Plus controllers, manual is on the Pro controller and in chinese
 
Only hype if the game comes with Swedish Meatball pre-order bonus, and game includes micro-transactions to buy votive candles and pillows in game.
 
What about the ludonarrative dissonance from being nagged despite already building hundreds of items of furniture which no one person could find use or space for.
 
you could also have your guy miss with a hammer and mess up his fingers and stuff, making the rest of the job harder

bleeding all over your new armoire
 
More Ikea than idea.

When can I pledge to the Kickstarter?
 
I could write the story!

"It was a rainy afternoon, the kind that clouds your sinuses and makes things seem hazy. She told me to meet up on the corner of Rice and Halsted, but I knew what she was up to.

I was going to be rubbed out by a dame half my size. The only question? What sort of weapon she'd use.

Turns out, I was early. Five minutes, in fact, and I thought about heading home to finish that desk I was building. But then I remembered how bad I am at building things so it left my mind.

The time came, and the bird was right on the clock. With her steely eyes already narrowed, she mutters some disbelief. She had every right. Not many men walk to their graves with a calm exterior.

Before I could get a word out, bam! The gun shot was the only thing I heard. Not the lines of hatred she said after the trigger was pulled.

My vision blurry, I took to my car, and dodged traffic to make it home. Blood seeped out like a water fountain. I giggled, thinking about how I was going to wash this out later.

With home in sight, I accelerated and rammed right through garage door and stumbled out of my car. My body caught itself on the box containing the desk I never assembled. If it wasn't completed before my death, I'd regret it in hell.

I slowly rose my bloody hand, tore open the box, and marveled at the contents.

GAME START! BUILD TIME GO!"
 
This is amazing Sethos, but I would never, ever, ever, ever, play it. Fucking hate assembling furniture, but I admire the tipsy creativity.
 
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