I literally just watched Edge of Seventeen (but yeah sometimes i feel that way too)
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How did you learn to love yourself? *Depression Rant*
- Thread starter Omega Kirby
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I literally just watched Edge of Seventeen (but yeah sometimes i feel that way too)
I just stopped keeping up appareances for other people's sake, I know it's probably not the most elaborate of responses but that really was what got me out of the hole I was digging for myself.
I don't care what people think of me or how I'm expected to be. Stressing over that took to much time and energy out of my life.
I don't care what people think of me or how I'm expected to be. Stressing over that took to much time and energy out of my life.
runlikehell
Banned
LSD helped me a lot, and meditation.
I wish I could say something helpful, but I feel the same way. Only without all those cool activities and social life. Every year it seems I'm spending more and more time at home, not doing anything and feeling sorry for myself. It's like I already gave up.
Still, there are friends and acquaintances who support me (sometimes in a not-so-friendly manner, but I know they mean well and want to help me feel better, or at least I hope so), and that's a very important thing. One of them even convinced me to start going to the gym with him next month, even though I used to think it was futile. But fuck it, it's my life and I'm gonna do it anyway! Now it's a matter of finding more outdoor activities, and forcing myself to do the things I like but stopped doing, like playing bass (still need to learn quite a lot) and writing shitty songs, plus maybe learning some more programming languages in order to change jobs in the future.
So I don't know, maybe it's not really about feeling happy, but about doing the things you enjoy and discovering what you like. Keeping yourself busy and everything. Having a good time with your friends, be it at a bar or playing Mario Kart in someone's house. As for finding a SO, I have no idea, that's something I'm 100% confident will never happen to me. But if you keep doing all those interesting things (and yes, they are interesting, even if it's hard to realize it), chances are you'll find someone eventually. It's great that you have the motivation to do all those things, and I hope you never lose it. That's something amazing indeed.
Still, there are friends and acquaintances who support me (sometimes in a not-so-friendly manner, but I know they mean well and want to help me feel better, or at least I hope so), and that's a very important thing. One of them even convinced me to start going to the gym with him next month, even though I used to think it was futile. But fuck it, it's my life and I'm gonna do it anyway! Now it's a matter of finding more outdoor activities, and forcing myself to do the things I like but stopped doing, like playing bass (still need to learn quite a lot) and writing shitty songs, plus maybe learning some more programming languages in order to change jobs in the future.
So I don't know, maybe it's not really about feeling happy, but about doing the things you enjoy and discovering what you like. Keeping yourself busy and everything. Having a good time with your friends, be it at a bar or playing Mario Kart in someone's house. As for finding a SO, I have no idea, that's something I'm 100% confident will never happen to me. But if you keep doing all those interesting things (and yes, they are interesting, even if it's hard to realize it), chances are you'll find someone eventually. It's great that you have the motivation to do all those things, and I hope you never lose it. That's something amazing indeed.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
I hate the fact that I'm a dickhead, but usually my strategy is just to lean into it.
Jzero
Member
Drugs definitely helped me. Still don't love myself though.
First off, seek out a therapist and talk
to him about this issues. Depression is a real disease and it's treatment most often than not involves specialized care.
Like another user has said, I don't love myself, but I accept and understand me. I know my faults and limitations, as well as my qualities. From your post I'm guessing you're familiar with your negative points, try doing some introspection and figure out what you like about yourself, doesn't matter if it's the most futile or useless quality, it's still yours.
to him about this issues. Depression is a real disease and it's treatment most often than not involves specialized care.
Like another user has said, I don't love myself, but I accept and understand me. I know my faults and limitations, as well as my qualities. From your post I'm guessing you're familiar with your negative points, try doing some introspection and figure out what you like about yourself, doesn't matter if it's the most futile or useless quality, it's still yours.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. If I had to say how it turned out for the better, I would say there were a lot of factors like:
- I decided to change how I behaved, be more open and sincere. Even if I didn't have that much confidence, I decided to make an effort to show the world that I do until I believe it myself.
- Made some new friends, tried to approach them without the usual "I need to be careful, I don't want them to leave when they see how worthless I am". I mean, they are new people, what do I have to lose? If they drop me, I'll just be back at square one.
- Volunteering helped me to. It makes you feel useful, which I'd say is quite great. Mine was related to kids. I think it's quite a big boost to your confidence, since they usually see you with a better light than yourself.
- Changing my looks a bit worked well. Maybe go for a haircut and other stuff that's closer to the mainstream. It may look better than what you initially thought.
- I changed some of my habits. Mainly those that made life easier to go through despite not having the life I wanted. Double down in the stuff that makes you feel good WHILE being with other people.
Going to therapy may be helpful. I personally didn't, and I think I'd only have done it as a last resource. But that was me being stubborn and thinking therapists are unnecesary. In retrospective, I made an awesome friend that kind of fullfilled that role, so I could say I was really lucky.
I understand that going to therapy may be problematic, since you won't want others (like your family) knowing that you have those problems, and sometimes it's hard, or at least scary, to change the dynamics in an already established relationship of any kind. But it's not and option that should be neglected.
- I decided to change how I behaved, be more open and sincere. Even if I didn't have that much confidence, I decided to make an effort to show the world that I do until I believe it myself.
- Made some new friends, tried to approach them without the usual "I need to be careful, I don't want them to leave when they see how worthless I am". I mean, they are new people, what do I have to lose? If they drop me, I'll just be back at square one.
- Volunteering helped me to. It makes you feel useful, which I'd say is quite great. Mine was related to kids. I think it's quite a big boost to your confidence, since they usually see you with a better light than yourself.
- Changing my looks a bit worked well. Maybe go for a haircut and other stuff that's closer to the mainstream. It may look better than what you initially thought.
- I changed some of my habits. Mainly those that made life easier to go through despite not having the life I wanted. Double down in the stuff that makes you feel good WHILE being with other people.
Going to therapy may be helpful. I personally didn't, and I think I'd only have done it as a last resource. But that was me being stubborn and thinking therapists are unnecesary. In retrospective, I made an awesome friend that kind of fullfilled that role, so I could say I was really lucky.
I understand that going to therapy may be problematic, since you won't want others (like your family) knowing that you have those problems, and sometimes it's hard, or at least scary, to change the dynamics in an already established relationship of any kind. But it's not and option that should be neglected.
Randomizer
Member
I'd advice going to a therapist or counsellor. But also look for any self-esteem classes or groups you could attend.
But damn I wish I was capable of the half the shit you are doing. My anxiety and depression is so crippling I can barely leave the house. I myself only recently discovered that the source of my own anxiety and depression is caused by extremely low self esteem. I also suspect some long undiagnosed disorder like ADHD or autism. It's extremely frustrating to expect so much from myself yet manage to give others a completely free pass.
But damn I wish I was capable of the half the shit you are doing. My anxiety and depression is so crippling I can barely leave the house. I myself only recently discovered that the source of my own anxiety and depression is caused by extremely low self esteem. I also suspect some long undiagnosed disorder like ADHD or autism. It's extremely frustrating to expect so much from myself yet manage to give others a completely free pass.
Paracelsus
Member
If you don't care, you don't. Medication only serves to make you think you care, so do words of other people who in their own mind care and think it's the only way ("you haven't experienced life unless you traveled all over the world").
It would be interesting to know what do you actually care about.
For me a lot of things have hit me hard recently like the thought I'm dying because of how I've been feeling yet doctors/tests have shown that nothing is wrong, anxiety, jealousy from others doing well in life while sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a rut has affected me and changed me a lot. It can be hard trying to do things and sometimes you get stuck on that one track kind with an negative thought that just doesn't want to leave. Thankfully though and I feel like it's the best thing you can do is talk to people like family members, near and dear friends, or even a therapist.
My mom who has been dealing with depression for a large portion of her life is always the person I can talk to because we can see eye to eye. She always manages to make me feel better and not let these things get to me and can have me coming out positive. I'm glad I can talk to her as well as my GF who inspired me to do better and helps me out in overcoming my fears. So yeah, all it takes it to talk to someone who would be the right person to do so. Hope that helps!
My mom who has been dealing with depression for a large portion of her life is always the person I can talk to because we can see eye to eye. She always manages to make me feel better and not let these things get to me and can have me coming out positive. I'm glad I can talk to her as well as my GF who inspired me to do better and helps me out in overcoming my fears. So yeah, all it takes it to talk to someone who would be the right person to do so. Hope that helps!
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
If you don't care, you don't. Medication only serves to make you think you care, so do words of other people who in their own mind care and think it's the only way ("you haven't experienced life unless you traveled all over the world").
It would be interesting to know what do you actually care about.
Man, that Ronnie comic sings to me. I do stuff like try to be social because it's what normal people do and it ends up sucking.
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