• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

How do I properly get rid of a cursed sword?

Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg

Holy shit, you weren't kidding. That looks cursed as fuck.
 
You have to bring it to the top of the great pyramid of Egypt. Preferably during a sand storm. Then you prick your finger and smear blood all over the blade. Then hold it above your head and shout at the top of your lungs "ana huna! Ana huna! 'Inna last khayif!!"

If it works, as it should, the spirits of the ancient Pharaohs should swarm around you from all over Egypt and then enter the sword causing it to shatter into 1000 pieces.

I would get this done quick before you doom us all.
 
Future Antiques Road Show.
Appraiser: "Where did you get this incredible piece of history?"
Gaffer: "Off Topic"
Appraiser: "Excuse me?"
Gaffer: "You don't Gaf?"
Appraiser: "No."
Gaffer: "So this dude thought it was cursed so I took it off his hands if I paid for shipping costs."
Appraiser: "This is actually known as The Sword Of Good Luck and can fetch over $100,000."
Gaffer: "BELIEVE!!!!"
 
Stay a night at an Inn. That tends to cure all curses and other negative effects on you.

Be sure it's advertised as an Inn. A hotel or B&B won't do
 
Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg




He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.

Thats a Khukri.

That shit ain't from Egypt. Its from Nepal.
 
Future Antiques Road Show.
Appraiser: "Where did you get this incredible piece of history?"
Gaffer: "Off Topic"
Appraiser: "Excuse me?"
Gaffer: "You don't Gaf?"
Appraiser: "No."
Gaffer: "So this dude thought it was cursed so I took it off his hands if I paid for shipping costs."
Appraiser: "This is actually known as The Sword Of Good Luck and can fetch over $100,000."
Gaffer: "BELIEVE!!!!"

My girlfriend told me I should e-mail Pawn Stars about it
 
#Protocol Initiated#

The Anubis Sword Has Been Located

Item #245678 - Keter Class Item.
Incredibly dangerous cursed sword that could signal the end of all life. its mystical properties feed off the life energy of everyone near it, causing rapid death/spontaneous combustion. has the power to wipe out entire civilizations if paired with horus's staff.

Dispatching agents to location. also investigate suspicious Cher memorabilia, she may be a reincarnated warrior priestess.

#deploying retinal memory erasing protocol#

thread will be removed, all viewers will forget about this page once they leave.

#End Protocol#
 
Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg




He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.

Oh, shit! Curses transfer through photos, you jerk! Now we're all doomed!
 
Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg


He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.

yo thats pretty sick
for a machete i mean
 
Just remember that you should definitely not take up the sword to defend your kingdom, otherwise it will consume your soul and you will end up becoming the leader of the undead scourge.
 
Cut yourself with the sword and let the blood fall in a small ceramic bowl. Mix it with Sprite. Throw in half a cup of rum. Now dig in your backyard until you find bones. Don't worry about how it got there. Crush them. Mix it into your mixture. Go into the nearest forest. Find somebody's long-lost porn stash. Burn it, and mix the ashes into a mixture. Now finally, pee into the bowl. Mix well, serve with ice. Find a priest. Have him drink it.

Congratulations OP, you've lifted the curse.
 
That's it, the solution was so simple all along, obviously OP must bring the sword to Cher.

Yes, this needs to happen.

Anyway OP, I suggest selling it. It's obvious that having the sword around is making you uncomfortable. As others have said, you can mention the curse in the item description so a) there's no need to feel guilt about cursing the buyer, and b) you might get some decent money that way.

Best of luck!
 
eBay. Mention that's it's cursed, there's people that are into that shit out there...

Start it at $5,000.
Just kidding. $1.00 works.
 
Did you get the job at Gamestop? If so just wait for someone to come pick up their preorder of some niche Japanese RPG and tell them that they were upgraded to the super limited edition that comes with its own sword. Then sell them a warranty of the game, since they are already fucked.
 
Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg




He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.

I was tempted to ask for it before the pics, yep that thing has saw some evil.
 
Don't you see OP? You were destined to find this sword.

May strength be granted so the world might be mended...
So the world might be mended...
 
Okay, sorry for the potato quality but my Moto X's camera is borked and all of my roommates are gone. I had to settle for the 3DS camera.

7iBa0wK.jpg




He just moved halfway across the country. Can you mail swords? Guessing I can't.

That's a kukri knife from Nepal which are carried by gurkha soldiers. I bought a couple of them when I was there.
 
Top Bottom