teruterubozu
Member
Money? You lucky fuckin' bastards.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
How old, is too old, to still be getting birthday..
- Thread starter Nix
- Start date
- Status
Joe Shlabotnik
Banned
I'm going to mildly back the OP here. Only because as an example he mentioned he got a bag of Oreos for his birthday and he doesn't even like cookies, which is kind of a weirdly thoughtless attempt at actually buying a present.
Spokker
Member
Which is why I responded to the thread. I certainly wouldn't have responded to the thread if you had posted it on your parent's forums.Nix said:
That it bothers you says something about you. It is unwise to worry about someone else failing to fill up your bowl. Better things happen when you worry about keeping other people's bowls full. It is the wisdom of Louie C.K.
D
Deleted member 81567
Unconfirmed Member
So parenting is now about obligation and not genuine love.Salmonax said:
AtomskEater
Member
I'm 22, and usually mom takes me out to dinner. It's a rare occasion if dad calls for my birthday. I wouldn't say you're ever too old for money or gifts on your birthday, but yeah once you get older people are no longer really "obligated" to get you much of anything.
MaizeRage25
Member
I turned 27 today and my parents still wrote me a check even though I insisted that it wasn't necessary.
I would just not deposit them, but my dad will hound me about it until I do.
I would just not deposit them, but my dad will hound me about it until I do.
fernoca said:Well, yeah we know it's easy. XD
But because of a few medical conditions/allergies I had (and have); just recently I learned that I can eat lobster (my mother can't eat it); so been looking around since it's something I always wanted to eat (just like how recently we learned I can't drink milk; even when I'm not lactose intollerant and can eat/drink stuff with milk). Was set to go to a restaurant, until we were told that the lobster there just sucks. But I rather have them paying for food that we all can eat and enjoy, rather than just something for me.
it depends on the resturant , i wouldn't go to red lobster , however a local resturant with good reviews could be good.
Good luck with it
D
Deleted member 81567
Unconfirmed Member
Gifts are on a birthday. Celebrating the day you came into our lives.Salmonax said:
Trojan X said:
A person who bluntly expresses their feelings; I don't hate that. Yes, I'm aware that they have no obligation to give me birthday money/gifts or even cards, but you have to understand that I'm a present person. I buy presents for everyone, it's what I do. Hell, I don't think I have enough in my budget for myself sometimes, that's how much I like holidays/birthdays.
All I'm saying is that I'm a present person. If that makes me a materialistic egotist, fine. I can live with that. If that makes me a douche, fine, plenty of people call me a douche on a daily basis anyway. It doesn't amend the fact that ok, I want presents, is that wrong? And if the present just so happens to come in the form of money, all the better. That said, I don't think that when one reaches an arbitrary age, he suddenly becomes an adult. I'd like to think that I have at least a few more years left that I can still act, and behave spoiled around my parents.
Oh, and presents for my parents kill me, that's how much I spend on them. Money isn't really the issue. Thanks though Morals-GAF, for setting me straight!
Well, does the parents know he doesn't like cookies? Maybe they saw him eating an Oreo one time and were like "oh let's get him that; he seemed to enjoy it". My parents did it a few months ago (though I like cookiesJoe Shlabotnik said:
). I bought a bag of Mini Oreos and ate them while waiting for them at the mall. What they decided to do? Next week they bought a box with 24 bags of Mini Oreos. Two weeks ago, I wanted to eat a Snickers because I haven't eaten one in months, so I got one (and they saw me of course; since I shared it with them too) What they decided to get me? Well..she wanted to buy the box of Snickers (the box people usually buy to sell for $1 each); but "was too pricey"; so she got me a (big) bag of Mini Snickers.
Is the kind of small details like that which is why I love them, and don't actually expect money (or anything) from them..or even gifts on holidays/occations. They know I'm going through difficult times (including unemployment) and stuff; but still look for ways to cheer me up (even when I'm not depressed
).If not, I'll just call you and have you make it for me/us.eastmen said:
Dude Abides
Banned
Let them know how it bothers you and maybe they'll take you to Chuck E. Cheese for your birthday. They have a band, you know.
Urban Scholar
Member
Hmm honestly I think after 21, a person should stop caring. I know I did. Now I'm a present person and I like giving to everyone. Now at 25, when my day rolls around I don't ask nor want anyone to give me anything. If we can hang out like any other day and have fun as usual that's more than enough.
Stormwatch
Member
I turn 29 this month and I get money from my parents and 1 of my aunts. I almost wish I didn't get money, though. It seems kinda awkward to be this old and still get birthday gifts from relatives.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
My only problem with birthday money is when it becomes circuitous.
My girlfriendgot her brother cash for his birthday in June. He then got her the exact same amount of cash for her birthday in July. If they're going to do this, why bother at all? If my Mom is going to get me a $50 Kindle gift card for Christmas, the same day that I get her a $50 gift card for somewhere else, what's the point? Gifting for the sake of gifting seems very falsely sentimental.
Now, that being said, obviously there's going to be some level pushing stuff around. My Mom pays for a family restaurant dinner for my birthday, I do the same for hers. Now she gets expensive highball coffees so I probably pay a little more than she does, but it's ultimately just pushing money around. Still, it doesn't seem as bad because at least the money is abstracted in the form of an experience.
I do think that birthday presents start getting a little silly by the time you get enough money on your own to be able to buy anything you're receiving. That's the case with me. It's very rare that someone is going to find something that I honestly couldn't or wouldn't have bought myself, so it's mostly just passing junk around. I try to go above and beyond to include some level of surprise when I give gifts.
I got my Mom a WD set top box last year and a portable hard drive and so now if she wants a loan of a movie or TV show from me, instead of having to keep track of all the discs, I'll just rip the discs and she takes the files on her hard drive. When she opened it she had absolutely no idea what it was, but I showed her how to play episodes of some of the shows she liked and she liked that a lot. This year for my girlfriend's birthday I got her, among other things, Child of Eden. She'd never heard of it before and certainly never asked for it, but she seems to like it pretty well. They were both financially able to buy those things, but never would have.
My birthday gifts almost never surprise me. I like games, but anyone shopping for me is just going to ask me which ones I want. Ditto board games. Ditto books, and I prefer kindle books anyway. Clothes they might have a different eye for that I do, but it's never going to be a surprise. I kinda feel like I'd be just as happy if I didn't have to buy anyone any gifts and just bought myself stuff for my birthday.
We don't do Father's Day and I only started reluctantly doing Mother's Day over the last few years. Neither of my parents really cared about it when I was a kid, Dad thinks most holidays are stupid. My inlaws go nuts for it though, where Aunts give "Mothers Day" cards to their nieces who have babies or cousins give Mothers Day cards to other cousins. A bit overkill. There's not even sentiment, it's just obligation. Barf.
It should be noted that I live in the same city as my parents and my inlaws, so I suspect if I was moved away somewhere else we'd probably stop celebrating birthdays as much.
My girlfriendgot her brother cash for his birthday in June. He then got her the exact same amount of cash for her birthday in July. If they're going to do this, why bother at all? If my Mom is going to get me a $50 Kindle gift card for Christmas, the same day that I get her a $50 gift card for somewhere else, what's the point? Gifting for the sake of gifting seems very falsely sentimental.
Now, that being said, obviously there's going to be some level pushing stuff around. My Mom pays for a family restaurant dinner for my birthday, I do the same for hers. Now she gets expensive highball coffees so I probably pay a little more than she does, but it's ultimately just pushing money around. Still, it doesn't seem as bad because at least the money is abstracted in the form of an experience.
I do think that birthday presents start getting a little silly by the time you get enough money on your own to be able to buy anything you're receiving. That's the case with me. It's very rare that someone is going to find something that I honestly couldn't or wouldn't have bought myself, so it's mostly just passing junk around. I try to go above and beyond to include some level of surprise when I give gifts.
I got my Mom a WD set top box last year and a portable hard drive and so now if she wants a loan of a movie or TV show from me, instead of having to keep track of all the discs, I'll just rip the discs and she takes the files on her hard drive. When she opened it she had absolutely no idea what it was, but I showed her how to play episodes of some of the shows she liked and she liked that a lot. This year for my girlfriend's birthday I got her, among other things, Child of Eden. She'd never heard of it before and certainly never asked for it, but she seems to like it pretty well. They were both financially able to buy those things, but never would have.
My birthday gifts almost never surprise me. I like games, but anyone shopping for me is just going to ask me which ones I want. Ditto board games. Ditto books, and I prefer kindle books anyway. Clothes they might have a different eye for that I do, but it's never going to be a surprise. I kinda feel like I'd be just as happy if I didn't have to buy anyone any gifts and just bought myself stuff for my birthday.
We don't do Father's Day and I only started reluctantly doing Mother's Day over the last few years. Neither of my parents really cared about it when I was a kid, Dad thinks most holidays are stupid. My inlaws go nuts for it though, where Aunts give "Mothers Day" cards to their nieces who have babies or cousins give Mothers Day cards to other cousins. A bit overkill. There's not even sentiment, it's just obligation. Barf.
It should be noted that I live in the same city as my parents and my inlaws, so I suspect if I was moved away somewhere else we'd probably stop celebrating birthdays as much.
Spokker
Member
Money is the entire reason you posted this thread. You like receiving gifts and you prefer money as the gift and now that the well has run dry you are "irritated."Nix said:
It doesn't matter if you are a "present person." Not everybody is like you, including your parents. The best part about gifts is the giving. This is just basic stuff you learn when you are a child.
You're absolutely right. The whole thing becomes a farce when you are an adult.Stumpokapow said:
The best gift is taking someone out to dinner, because that brings everybody together in a way that a cards or cash cannot. Another good gift is flying somewhere out to see the family or something. Its all about spending time together.
Diprosalic
Banned
my parents never gave me money for birthday/christmas. i get a gift for about 100$. i always tell them to stop but they never do 
.
.
TetraxShards
Member
24th birthday yesterday, got some money from pretty much everyone in the family. Not huge amounts, but it's the thought that counts and it's nice to be thought of. At the very least, you should get a card on your birthday or even a phone call if you're seperated from your nearest and dearest.
As far as giving gifts on birthdays, I usually get the older members of the family something small and a card. I spoil the shit out of my nieces and nephews.
As far as giving gifts on birthdays, I usually get the older members of the family something small and a card. I spoil the shit out of my nieces and nephews.
PhoncipleBone
Banned
bengraven said:
No, but I am another 1979 baby just like you.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
Oh also I hate cards. Hate giving them, hate receiving them.
If they're homemade or visually interesting or there's a letter in them, awesome. If not, it's just a piece of colourful paper you're paying $5+ for, I giggle when I see it, and then I throw it out a few days later. Waste of paper, harms the environment, waste of money, and almost never has any real sentiment behind it.
I read something on some eco-hippie blog once about how "it's impossible to win the competition for most sentimental" and I kind of agree. Simply putting 2011 in the corner and signing your name on a pre-made Hallmark card with some stock poetry is nauseating.
If they're homemade or visually interesting or there's a letter in them, awesome. If not, it's just a piece of colourful paper you're paying $5+ for, I giggle when I see it, and then I throw it out a few days later. Waste of paper, harms the environment, waste of money, and almost never has any real sentiment behind it.
I read something on some eco-hippie blog once about how "it's impossible to win the competition for most sentimental" and I kind of agree. Simply putting 2011 in the corner and signing your name on a pre-made Hallmark card with some stock poetry is nauseating.
Urban Scholar
Member
Stumpokapow said:
Sounds like fun times sir.
Wark
Member
I still know people that are older than I am that complain about not getting presents and I find that completely selfish; it seems to ruin their day when they don't get something other than a card or a "happy birthday". I guess it's different for everyone though.
Personally, I'm 24 now and I haven't caerd about getting Christmas or birthday presents since I was about 17 or so. If I really want something, then I'll just purchase it for myself rather than just wait for someone to buy it for me. I don't expect gifts, but I wouldn't be upset if someone bought or made me something because I know they're just trying to make me happy for the day.
With that said, I feel that giving is more satisfying than receiving on my birthday. If I have a couple family members or friends free for the day, I usually bring them out to dinner because it makes me happy to see them happy.
Personally, I'm 24 now and I haven't caerd about getting Christmas or birthday presents since I was about 17 or so. If I really want something, then I'll just purchase it for myself rather than just wait for someone to buy it for me. I don't expect gifts, but I wouldn't be upset if someone bought or made me something because I know they're just trying to make me happy for the day.
With that said, I feel that giving is more satisfying than receiving on my birthday. If I have a couple family members or friends free for the day, I usually bring them out to dinner because it makes me happy to see them happy.
Spokker said:
Totally agree with this; monetary gifts have not been a big deal for me for a long time (I will be 30 in a month). I would much rather do something with my parents (and family in general) on/for my birthday. Stuff that's less common, like going to a baseball game or something, is great, but even just going out to dinner is good.
les papillons sexuels
Banned
I'd say 25 is when you should stop expecting gifts, from then on, maybe a dinner and some cash depending on how well off you are.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
Urban Scholar said:
Plus side:
- Home cooked meals whenever I want them
- Easier to steal stuff from their kitchens instead of buying some spice or something that I need for a recipe but don't normally stock
- Always have someone to give me a lift if my old-ass car breaks down
- Never need to get a taxi to the airport
- Get gobs of stuff gifted to me that I didn't do anything to deserve
Minus side:
- Tons and tons of inherited "heirloom" garbage around the apartment that we can't cull because of "sentimental" reasons.
- "How ya doing" drop-in visits every few days for no reason
- Have to drive them to the airport
- Have to do free tech support for all the relatives
- Have to put up with hearing about my little sister's teenage misadventures or how my divorced parents are bickering over some dumb crap
- OMG MY GIRLFRIEND'S SECOND COUSIN HAD A KID!!!! SOCYUUUUT!!!! WE JUST HAVE TO ATTEND HIS FIRST BIRTHDAY~!!!!!
- Have to give gifts to people I don't know or care about because they're distant relations
The Abominable Snowman
Member
After age 17 I started getting birthday blowjobs
I will always accept money, no matter how old I get or how fat my wallet is. I learned how much it affected my great-grandmother when I was younger when I turned down money from her. It actually made her sad like I rejected a gift from her and rejected her love. Even if it was just a $10 bill and her last. I'd just take it from her and give it to my grandmother or mother to go towards her medicine or whatever.
not from my parents though 
I will always accept money, no matter how old I get or how fat my wallet is. I learned how much it affected my great-grandmother when I was younger when I turned down money from her. It actually made her sad like I rejected a gift from her and rejected her love. Even if it was just a $10 bill and her last. I'd just take it from her and give it to my grandmother or mother to go towards her medicine or whatever.
SonicMegaDrive
Member
I get nothing and like it.
Krauser Kat
Member
sex and small gift is all i ask for from my wife. this being our first year married, it was great.
Perfect Blue
Banned
19 and I get money but I never ask for it so eh, I'll take it.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
The Abominable Snowman said:
Not that I'd decline free money or argue with your no doubt octogenarian great-grandmother, but my personal opinion on this stuff is that if your great-grandmother wanted to show you "love", a thoughtful letter or a gift especially picked out for you would be significantly more valuable than $10.
I'm not wealthy. I have a well paying job. I do okay. But I'm not wealthy. And a $10 gift to me might as well be an envelope filled with lint.
Robobandit
Member
I'm 30 and I still get presents from my parents. On occasion I spend more on my mother than she spends on me.. but I have more income.. my dad has most everything he wants already and can be hard to buy for.. so I just send him an amazon gift card so he can get something when he decides he wants it.
Last year I bought tickets to a Bob Dylan concert and we went together.
OP, it sounds like you feel entitled to a present. If it bothers you to give them nice gifts and get a bag of oreos in return.. how about have a conversation with them about stopping gift giving altogether and just keep it to a card?
Give them nice presents if you want to, but you don't have a right to expect a gift in return. That makes it seem like you think they should get you something because you got them something.
I look at anything I get from my folks as a bonus..
Last year I bought tickets to a Bob Dylan concert and we went together.
OP, it sounds like you feel entitled to a present. If it bothers you to give them nice gifts and get a bag of oreos in return.. how about have a conversation with them about stopping gift giving altogether and just keep it to a card?
Give them nice presents if you want to, but you don't have a right to expect a gift in return. That makes it seem like you think they should get you something because you got them something.
I look at anything I get from my folks as a bonus..
electricshake
Member
My 89 year old grandfather still sends my mum a cheque on her birthday. Actually I think he sends one to my dad too. They are both in their 60s and probably have more money than he does, and it's not as if they need it. We stopped getting him presents a few years ago because there wasn't anything else he needed and we were just buying stuff for the sake of it, so we just send a card and give him a call on his birthday. I still feel guilty about this but I know it's for the best.
My parents still get me birthday gifts (I'm 25) but usually they ask what I want. And then get me to go and buy it. Most of the time I don't need/want anything so they give me money, but I got a Kindle and a cover for it this year. We usually go out for dinner too.
My parents still get me birthday gifts (I'm 25) but usually they ask what I want. And then get me to go and buy it. Most of the time I don't need/want anything so they give me money, but I got a Kindle and a cover for it this year. We usually go out for dinner too.
Robobandit said:
This is exactly what I used to think. Although now, it's just a kind of afterthought, since I'm more or less busy with med-school, and paying the bills. It's not like they have to give me something, but in relation to my other siblings, (I'm number 3) I'd at least like some love. It may be just that I was always the most level-headed but okay. I like to see that GAF is above my own values~
Edit: When I say parents, I'm just generalizing, It's a single mother thing.
Houston3000
Member
I'm 25 and don't live near my parents (they're in Florida while I'm in New York).
However, I have an credit card in my drawer that is linked to my parent's account. I don't use it ever, not that I would anyways, but I've been asked explicitly not to. It's basically an emergency card my parents gave me when I moved away from Florida in-case I needed money and couldn't wait for a transfer or something (I actually think they have to approve the charge but I'm not sure). The only time I've used it is on my Birthday and Christmas - my dad would call me and tell me to buy something for myself on it, usually no more than about $100. Caveat being, it actually has to be a tangible gift, I can't just draw money off the card I have to buy a new "toy" of some sort. So no paying my bills with it or anything.
So yeah, I guess I still get gifts from my parents.
However, I have an credit card in my drawer that is linked to my parent's account. I don't use it ever, not that I would anyways, but I've been asked explicitly not to. It's basically an emergency card my parents gave me when I moved away from Florida in-case I needed money and couldn't wait for a transfer or something (I actually think they have to approve the charge but I'm not sure). The only time I've used it is on my Birthday and Christmas - my dad would call me and tell me to buy something for myself on it, usually no more than about $100. Caveat being, it actually has to be a tangible gift, I can't just draw money off the card I have to buy a new "toy" of some sort. So no paying my bills with it or anything.
So yeah, I guess I still get gifts from my parents.
Slappers Only
Junior Member
How many, of, the commas in the thread, title are necessary?
I'm an asshole.
I'm an asshole.
He's getting a card and cookies, albeit store-bought ones. They're remembering and honoring the day in the way they see fit.Dr Eggman said:
And as has been said, gifts really become sort of a silly formality once you're independent and can buy whatever you want anyway. I'd rather my parents send me a card or just call me rather than try to guess what I'd like or send me money I really don't need.
- Status