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[ChiTownBuffalo]

Wait...

 

[nicoga3000]

It's bad of me, but I really want to know how this situation plays out. I'm pretty sure (as someone posted earlier) that since she's already a nun (as opposed to considering it or whatever), you're chances are ~0%.

But again, I'll watch this play out.

 

[FairyD]

If I were you. I would fake interest in religion/whatever to get closer to the nun. Use her as you own personal bible reference. Ask her all sorts of questions. Make it innocent enough so you two could meet for coffee so she could go over your questions and such.

During those coffee talks you could get to know her a little more and find out more about her life. This is the tricky part though, since she's a nun she is going to be feeling mixed emotions. You're going to have to make the first move on her.

Edit: Tempt her feelings, make a first move like a peck on the lips and keep pulling her in slowly. Eventually she will have to choose between her faith and you. If you tease her long enough she might give in.

 

[sixteen-bit]

I hear they don't put out.

 

[kai3345]

If I were you. I would fake interest in religion/whatever to get closer to the nun. Use her as you own personal bible reference. Ask her all sorts of questions. Make it innocent enough so you two could meet for coffee so she could go over your questions and such.

During those coffee talks you could get to know her a little more and find out more about her life. This is the tricky part though, since she's a nun she is going to be feeling mixed emotions. You're going to have to make the first move on her.

This sounds like a really shitty thing to do actually

 

[SillyEskimo]

First reply nailed it as usual. Also this thread delivers the lolz. Keep us updated OP. Oh and give us pictures.

You can't take photographs of nuns because they believe it steals their soul. Wait, that is Catholics, right?

 

[thehypocrite]

Go for it OP, the worst thing it could happen is that she will reject you. But if she says yes you would have stolen 1 Gods waifus.


GO CLARK GABLE!!!

 

[Nocebo]

Not sure if serious. A life-altering decision like that isn't something anyone should take lightly.

I've been told religion is wholly faith based so I figured a decision like that would most likely go through the heart and not the mind.

You can't take photographs of nuns because they believe it steals their soul. Wait, that is Catholics, right?

Wasn't it the catholics that believed that unbaptised dead children's souls go to a place called limbo? And then they suddenly decided this place doesn't even exist?

 

[Atramental]

You're not advising him to go for it and try to get her to forsake her beliefs for his selfish wants? You're a disgrace to everything your avatar stands.

The only selfish desires I'm interested in are the ones that are actually possible and much more beneficial in the long run.

 

[The Elite]

Take her apple picking and then spring a snake on her when she least expects it.

If you can find one that talks - bonus!

 

[Megadragon15]

Tell the nun that you are her density.

 

[jaxword]

This sounds like a really shitty thing to do actually

Sounds like more of the usual lies and deceptions people put up to attract mates.

 

[Ezalc]

The only selfish desires I'm interested in are the ones that are actually possible and much more beneficial in the long run.

You aren't very good at your job as a demon/devil.

 

[makingmusic476]

My dad was in the seminary and my mom was contemplating becoming a nun when they first hooked up.

They're still very Catholic, traditionalist even, and my mom is a religion teacher. Coming out as Atheist this past month wasn't too fun. =/

Edit:

Honestly OP, this will never work out. You'll just come off as an evil Atheist trying to turn her away from the church and get into bed with her. It'll probably only push her deeper into her faith.

Maybe if you merely tried to form a more general friendship at first, with her trying to convert you but you somehow converting her, then tackle relationship prospects from there... but that seems like a lot of work.

 

[The Albatross]

Everything about this is bizarre and unbelievable.

My dad was in the seminary and my mom was contemplating becoming a nun when they first hooked up.

They're still very Catholic, traditionalist even, and my mom is a religion teacher. Coming out as Atheist this past month wasn't too fun. =/

Eh, if your dad was in the seminary, he's probably an atheist himself.

#YouWontGetItUnlessYouKnowALotofCatholicPriests

Wasn't it the catholics that believed that unbaptised dead children's souls go to a place called limbo? And then they suddenly decided this place doesn't even exist?

Not really. Limbo was never part of the catechism, but this was the theory of Augustine of Hippo, perhaps the most respected Saint in Catholic Theology. Because Augustine was so bad ass, this idea was carried by a lot of Catholics, but the Church itself never held it in official catechism.

 

[Dyno]

If you could pull it off it would be awesome. She would be so guilt-ridden that it would be hot! Crying and sucking, crying and sucking. That is a romantic encounter that would warm you on your death bed.

 

[Atramental]

You aren't very good at your job as a demon/devil.

A common misconception about us demons is that we are unrestrained hedonists.

We are actually very practical minded beings. I'm always thinking two steps ahead and analyzing all possible outcomes before I act upon any given situation.

 

[riceckr]

I don't know OP, I don't understand why you went to church in the first place? Maybe you're a little on the agnostic side? That's the only way I could see it working with the nun, as if you were just a tad bit curious.

 

[makingmusic476]

Eh, if your dad was in the seminary, he's probably an atheist himself.

#YouWontGetItUnlessYouKnowALotofCatholicPriests

But I do know a lot of Catholic priests! My dad's best friend is a priest, as are three of my parent's other good friends. I go out to eat with priests on a damn near monthly basis. They're all firm in their belief.

Plus, there's a lot of backstory behind why my dad left the seminary (loss of motivation/desire after Vatican II, i.e. traditionalists), and the pain he felt upon my revelation was quite visible in both his words and actions. =(

@OP:

I would also be worried about what is going through the head of somebody that young who became a nun in this society. They're in it DEEP.

 

[Aylinato]

Uh if you got her to leave her vocation, you pretty much have to marry her. It's like someone leaving a marriage to be with you.

One of the girls I dated in college became a nun. I think I was the last guy she dated prior to that...

what

 

[Ezalc]

A common misconception about us demons is that we are unrestrained hedonists.

We are actually very practical minded beings. I'm always thinking two steps ahead and analyzing all possible outcomes before I act upon any given situation.

That's disappointing, I thought you guys were more badass when I thought all you guys wanted to do was to fuck everybody up.

 

[The Elite]

A common misconception about us demons is that we are unrestrained hedonists.

We are actually very practical minded beings. I'm always thinking two steps ahead and analyzing all possible outcomes before I act upon any given situation.

Did you come up with the talking snake?

That was brilliant man. Kudos.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

What she isn't heterosexual?

 

[phillipgessert]

It's bad of me, but I really want to know how this situation plays out. I'm pretty sure (as someone posted earlier) that since she's already a nun (as opposed to considering it or whatever), you're chances are ~0%.

But again, I'll watch this play out.

Near the 8th, someone will bump the topic, saying they wonder what happened or will happen. Three or four people will give a shit enough to say 'me too'. Then the OP will post about three paragraphs of a story that fizzles everything out and lets him off the hook for future updates.

 

[dinazimmerman]

Is her name Lemore?

 

[Hari Seldon]

Nun will convert OP. I would bet money on it haha.

 

[Mael]

But I do know a lot of Catholic priests! My dad's best friend is a priest, as are three of my parent's other good friends. I go out to eat with priests on a damn near monthly basis. They're all firm in their belief.

Plus, there's a lot of backstory behind why my dad left the seminary (loss of motivation/desire after Vatican II, i.e. traditionalists), and the pain he felt upon my revelation was quite visible in both his words and actions. =(

@OP:

I would also be worried about what is going through the head of somebody that young who became a nun in this society. They're in it DEEP.

That's indeed hardcore

 

[WedgeX]

what

Yep. Happened my sophomore year.

Not the girl you're thinking of, most likely.

 

[Wilbur]

Thread reminds me of the time I fucked a nun.

 

[Foob]

looks like you suffer from the kavorka

the lure of the animal

 

[VariantX04]

I've been told religion is wholly faith based so I figured a decision like that would most likely go through the heart and not the mind.

Your heart doesn't make decisions.

 

[The Albatross]

But I do know a lot of Catholic priests! My dad's best friend is a priest, as are three of my parent's other good friends. I go out to eat with priests on a damn near monthly basis. They're all firm in their belief.

Yeah, I was just kidding, but also alluding to the personal philosophical struggle that even devout priests, clergy, and theologians have (at least those who I know)

 

[bengraven]

OP, take it from me. I've dated a decent amount of women and many of them were Christians.

It never works out in the end when you're an athiest. You're not going to change HER mind and she likely isn't going to change your's. But she has dedicated her entire life to God. Every little thing will be a blessing from God, from every meal to every bright sunny day, to just waking up in the morning. It would get on your nerves.

I've met women who are so deep in Christ that they may as well be nuns and I don't mean to say they're just major Jesus freaks. They're people who sew Jesus into their very fabrics.

And you want to date a woman who is not only a Christian of the most unbroken faith, but she is someone who has sacrificed everything for that faith. She has chosen to never have a romance with anyone but Christ, will never have children, can never even live anywhere outside of the church structure.

So if this is real, which I suspect it isn't, you're really naive for thinking you can be with her.



TL;DR version: you know how waitresses, strippers and prostitutes pretend to like you for money? That's what this nun is doing to get you to God's side. She'll never date you because she's got a super tall, buff boyfriend back home who takes all her money.

Mmkay, sugar?

 

[Aylinato]

Yep. Happened my sophomore year.

Not the girl you're thinking of, most likely.

no, i mean i do not know whom u speak of

 

[bengraven]

I mean, Christ, it's hard enough being married to a hardcore Christian when you're agnostic. You and this girl are even farther on the extremes.

 

[daycru]

Excellent thread, I'm rooting for you.

 

[ChiTownBuffalo]

TL;DR version: you know how waitresses, strippers and prostitutes pretend to like you for money? That's what this nun is doing to get you to God's side. She'll never date you because she's got a super tall, buff boyfriend back home who takes all her money.

Mmkay, sugar?

 

[Deleted member 81567]

How stubborn can one man be?

 

[The Elite]

I dated a girl who said she had talked to God. Didn't work out in the end. She did give great head though.

 

[nicoga3000]

Near the 8th, someone will bump the topic, saying they wonder what happened or will happen. Three or four people will give a shit enough to say 'me too'. Then the OP will post about three paragraphs of a story that fizzles everything out and lets him off the hook for future updates.

Yeah, you're probably right. I'm actually enjoying the responses more than anything. Bengraven's post is pretty much spot on, though. Christian and Atheist = lolno.

 

[Dorrin]

Given how hard it is for an atheist to date someone who is religious, much less a freaking nun I'd say your wasting your time. I'd imagine the only thing harder for an atheist to do would be to run for public office and be openly atheist.

 

[Hari Seldon]

And if this nun is as hot as the OP says she is, she has probably been dealing with knuckleheads like the OP for a long ass time lol.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

She did give great head though.

Was it godlike?

 

[RDreamer]

I've met women who are so deep in Christ that they may as well be nuns and I don't mean to say they're just major Jesus freaks. They're people who sew Jesus into their very fabrics.

This is absolutely correct. For a lot of these people there is no convincing or talking or even tempting. Their very person is built up around Jesus. They see it in literally everything, so much that it almost becomes them. Actually in a lot of cases it does become them. I don't think you can possibly imagine what goes through their brains. I mean it's like gravity. We all know it exists, absolutely, and it isn't going away. It's there affecting everything. They're like that with God, except instead of just having it around them all the time they literally dedicate their entire lives to it. It's scary in a way.

I mean, Christ, it's hard enough being married to a hardcore Christian when you're agnostic. You and this girl are even farther on the extremes.

I can imagine. I dated a girl that started to change her major to deaconess, and I was at least slightly Christian. That was hard enough. I mean her absolute conviction on some of the things she believed was beyond a normal person's. When she said God is there guiding her she said it in the same way someone would say that the sky is blue and the grass in green. Questioning it was confusing madness. And don't even start on sexuality issues. I pushed her to her own edge a lot, but God was always there. There was no slipping her away from those thought processes.

 

[ChiTownBuffalo]

Honestly, its easier just picking up girls at fellowship. A lot of them are there out of habit anyway.

 

[SuperAngelo64]

Okay, so who else read the OP and then scrolled through 3 pages hoping for hot nun pictures?

 

[Eight Diagram Bat Fighter]

Nunsense, Of course I do, but she is still human. I'm sure she has her urges.

Fixed. But you're going to tempt her to act on those urges? That's messed up.

 

[lolez2matt]

I bet you she is lesbian.

 

[RDreamer]

Nonsense, Of course I do, but she is still human. I'm sure she has her urges.

Have you ever really sat down and talked to someone that devout? I'm not going to deny that they have any urges left, but I think you'd be surprised what that way of life and overall thinking does to you after years and years. They rely on Jesus like you rely on air. You ever get urged not to breath anymore? Didn't really think so.

 

[Fare Godmace]

If you could pull it off it would be awesome. She would be so guilt-ridden that it would be hot! Crying and sucking, crying and sucking. That is a romantic encounter that would warm you on your death bed.

Uh...

Are you guys into nun porn? Maybe you'll get some tips from the dialogue.