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[Afro Samurai]

Bonus points if you have less casualties on your side.

Bonus points if you can win the battle without Gandalf's help.

You have a very limited time to prepare for battle. I believe there were a few days to prepare. Use whatever resources you have with you.

 

[strafer]

Was helms deep the battle in the rain?

 

[Bedameister]

Eagles

Was helms deep the battle in the rain?

yes

 

[faint.]

Was helms deep the battle in the rain?

Yes.

 

[zma1013]

Close the city drain, have everyone shit over the wall. Tada no weak point.

 

[Arkos]

Eagles

Should have been first post.

I mean, they did a pretty good job didn't they?

 

[MMarston]

*press Enter*


*type whosyourdaddy*

 

[KidGalactus]

Lie on floor.

Wait to die.

 

[PaleFolklore]

Gather all the MMA pros from GAF MMA threads and put a Korn tape in the boombox

 

[Moff]

Unite the clans

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

seal off the poop pipe

challenge the orc army to a grind off and have the elf bro thrash them to victory.

 

[Merguson]

Pledge alliance to Saruman and Sauron.

 

[Shaanyboi]

I'd cover the earth around Helm's Deep in paste, so whenever they step close to it, their feet are caught in paste and they can't go anywhere. Also the paste has oil mixed into it, so then you set those fuckers on fire.

It'll smell bad but oh well.

 

[Unit 33]

Helms Deep is surrounded by an unusually steep mountainous bottle-neck sort of valley.

Wait for the Orcs to turn up in numbers, and then initiate an artificial landslide, killing many, and trapping whatever is left.

 

[Divvy]

Plug up that stupid water gate hole.


Also Eagles

 

[Nudull]

Summon Exodia.

 

[Aylinato]

Would of had my army called in the first place instead of allowing orcs to terrorize my lands and people

 

[Bedameister]

Should have been first post.

I mean, they did a pretty good job didn't they?

I wanted to make it first post but had to wait 50sec because I posted in another thread, sorry

 

[Htown]

assuming you start with the same conditions that the Rohirrim in the movie had, there's not much else you can do but what they did. Fight hard and hope.

The Uruk-Hai had much larger numbers, better equipment, and explosives. It's kind of impressive the Rohirrim at Helm's Deep lasted as long as they did.

Plug up that stupid water gate hole.

They plugged it with stone in the books, didn't help much.

 

[zma1013]

Would of had my army called in the first place instead of allowing orcs to terrorize my lands and people

He uh kinda exiled them because he was under the control of the bad wizard and weasleman so Gandy had to go get them first.

 

[Tubobutts]

Let the Uruk-Hai eat the children and old people. Hope Gandalf arrives before they finish.

 

[Matt_]

Building a moat would help a bit I'm sure

 

[Frankenstrat]

Wall spikes and drain closure. Dig some kind of moat if possible. Archers, archers, archers. They can be all Crecy-like and shit on the arrowheads to promote death and disease among the enemy.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Little you can do I think. That Orc army was huge and I don't think there was much time to prepare.

 

[Shredderi]

 

[John Kowalski]

shoot fire arrows at the explosives before they reached the wall

 

[NealMcCauley]

Shitton of traps starting at least two miles away from the wall. Pull a braveheart and douse the field with oil, then light it with flaming arrow, though the rain might ruin that idea.

If there are no rules then a Davy Crockett.

 

[itwasTuesday]

/noclip

 

[Calabria]

easy, build moat and soaked the ground with oil

 

[jackdoe]

Send the hero units to the front of Helms Deep, and have them occupy the enemy forces by their lonesome. Bonus points if Legolas and Gimli have a Hobbit trilogy stile power up for hero elves and dwarves. Seriously, this hero unit shit was ridiculous in the Hobbit trilogy.

 

[Oersted]

Get Erkenbrand, the guy from the book. And Huorns, also from the book.

Also, attack earlier from more than one side. Thats the best strategy against an enemy bigger in numbers.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Dig trenches outside the walls. The enemy pretty much had an easy walk to the walls. It's really odd that the walls did not have any sort of dry moat as this was a very standard feature.

Demolish the stone bridge. Why let them have a bridge in are they worried about the real estate value or something. Stones from the bridge could be tossed from the walls.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

I'd close up that hole in the wall and have everyone shit in the Emerald Caves, fuck Gimli and his legacy

 

[Megalosaro]

Book version or movie version? Battle was pretty different in both.

 

[Gleethor]

With a gun

 

[Sesuadra]

Tesla coils. A LOT of em. 3 or 4 rows of Tesla Coils

That's how I won command and conquer games in the past.

Tesla coil everything. God I love tesla coils.

 

[Netherscourge]

Call Peter Jackson and tell him to have Elrond send you an army of Elves at the last minute.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Did the Orcs have cavalry? If not, keep your horse behind and give them to the Elvish help since they are better archers. While the Orcs march assault them over and over again from the side, keeping out of their range while thinning the numbers before they reach the castle.

When they are there, keep attacking and retreating over and over since you have the speed advantage, while you have the men in the castle holding the wall.

 

[gurudyne]

shoot fire arrows at the explosives before they reached the wall

Yep, this is the one. Keep Legolas on scouting duty for the spiky balls, then nail every one with fire arrows, fire bottles, Molotovs, torches, matches, flint and tinder, that guy with a little too much static build up, birthday cakes--anything that burns really. Repeat until no spiky balls remain. Then standard siege protocols. Should hold til morning.

 

[orochi91]

Oil.

Burning hot oil everywhere.

 

[weekev]

Why did noone invite the orc army in for a nice cup of tea and some biscuits. Maybe chatting about their differences would have made them realise that they arent so different after all. Why all the need for all that violence over a stupid piece of tiny jewellery. I mean, the lettering on it is cool and I especially love the fire trigger for it but come on folks, he made one ring, maybe he could make one million and everyone could have 1.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Why did noone invite the orc army in for a nice cup of tea and some biscuits. Maybe chatting about their differences would have made them realise that they arent so different after all. Why all the need for all that violence over a stupid piece of tiny jewellery. I mean, the lettering on it is cool and I especially love the fire trigger for it but come on folks, he made one ring, maybe he could make one million and everyone could have 1.

They should have had the eagles drop leaflets into Mordor and then march naked towards Mount doom.

 

[Eggbok]

 

[hobozero]

Eagles

I don't know, I would probably go with the Steelers or the Cardinals if we're talking purely defense.

 

[Purkake4]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Spoiler

And do a fake Gandalf.

 

[seanoff]

Fast jets and fuel-air weapons.

That'd work

 

[Moonkid]

Attack from the skies. The codex astartes names this maneuver, steel rain!

 

[WadiumArcadium]

Call Radagast. He can bring some rabbit reinforcements or something.

 

[Staccat0]

I would snow board down a a rail and kill them all with my elf bow.

 

[Wag]

Yoda.