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I Did It

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I finished all the porn on the internet.

It took me over ten years, 14,600 cups of coffee and 23 gallons of lube to do it, but I fucking did it. I know new porn is being produced around the world as we speak, but I am satisfied with how far I've cum. I have transgended fapping and would like to now introduce:

Sapping

That's right... sapping. Next generation space porn. Basically I just jerk it to formations seen on various planets via satellite imagery that kinda' look like boobs and butts and what-have-you. Also rovers. I have a thing for rovers now. My curiosity is keeping my head clear. The best news is that I'm working on a deal with an undisclothed space agency at the moanment who wants to send me to Mars. Scientits want to know how a human being with an evolved libido can fare in an alien world.

That said, here are some issues I would like to be cleared up bi the time I get back to Earth after eight long, hard years of working on the red planet:

Virtual reality -- We have been flirting with this for years; why don't have way better VR by now?

Wars -- There is no need for war if you have love. We need like... way moar love.

Money -- The standard formula of blowing money on college-->getting a job-->earning money is obsolete. New policies need to be asstablished around the world to solve this.

That's pretty munch it. I need to go start my training in the low buoyancy stimulator now and hopefully there won't be any more moisture penetration in my wetsuit. I can't believe they're spending all this money to get me off the ground and all they're giving me for the trip is Spaceballs on VHS and 60 lbs of Corn Nuts. Cosmonauts have it hard.
 
That's right... sapping. Next generation space porn. Basically I just jerk it to formations seen on various planets via satellite imagery that kinda' look like boobs and butts and what-have-you. Also rovers. I have a thing for rovers now. My curiosity is keeping my head clear. The best news is that I'm working on a deal with an undisclothed space agency at the moanment who wants to send me to Mars. Scientits want to know how a human being with an evolved libido can fare in an alien world.
Freudian slip?
 
GwhEU.gif


What is up with the terrible, terrible threads today?
 
I finished all the porn on the internet.

It took me over ten years, 14,600 cups of coffee and 23 gallons of lube to do it, but I fucking did it. I know new porn is being produced around the world as we speak, but I am satisfied with how far I've cum. I have transgended fapping and would like to now introduce:

Sapping

That's right... sapping. Next generation space porn. Basically I just jerk it to formations seen on various planets via satellite imagery that kinda' look like boobs and butts and what-have-you. Also rovers. I have a thing for rovers now. My curiosity is keeping my head clear. The best news is that I'm working on a deal with an undisclothed space agency at the moanment who wants to send me to Mars. Scientits want to know how a human being with an evolved libido can fare in an alien world.

That said, here are some issues I would like to be cleared up bi the time I get back to Earth after eight long, hard years of working on the red planet:

Virtual reality -- We have been flirting with this for years; why don't have way better VR by now?

Wars -- There is no need for war if you have love. We need like... way moar love.

Money -- The standard formula of blowing money on college-->getting a job-->earning money is obsolete. New policies need to be asstablished around the world to solve this.

That's pretty munch it. I need to go start my training in the low buoyancy stimulator now and hopefully there won't be any more moisture penetration in my wetsuit. I can't believe they're spending all this money to get me off the ground and all they're giving me for the trip is Spaceballs on VHS and 60 lbs of Corn Nuts. Cosmonauts have it hard.


WW70U.gif
 
If I take this thread seriously for more then 5 seconds I have to ask, how on earth does one know for sure they've seen all the porn on the internet? And wouldn't that also mean you've seen lots of illegal content?
 
I finished all the porn on the internet.

It took me over ten years, 14,600 cups of coffee and 23 gallons of lube to do it, but I fucking did it. I know new porn is being produced around the world as we speak, but I am satisfied with how far I've cum. I have transgended fapping and would like to now introduce:

Sapping

That's right... sapping. Next generation space porn. Basically I just jerk it to formations seen on various planets via satellite imagery that kinda' look like boobs and butts and what-have-you. Also rovers. I have a thing for rovers now. My curiosity is keeping my head clear. The best news is that I'm working on a deal with an undisclothed space agency at the moanment who wants to send me to Mars. Scientits want to know how a human being with an evolved libido can fare in an alien world.

That said, here are some issues I would like to be cleared up bi the time I get back to Earth after eight long, hard years of working on the red planet:

Virtual reality -- We have been flirting with this for years; why don't have way better VR by now?

Wars -- There is no need for war if you have love. We need like... way moar love.

Money -- The standard formula of blowing money on college-->getting a job-->earning money is obsolete. New policies need to be asstablished around the world to solve this.

That's pretty munch it. I need to go start my training in the low buoyancy stimulator now and hopefully there won't be any more moisture penetration in my wetsuit. I can't believe they're spending all this money to get me off the ground and all they're giving me for the trip is Spaceballs on VHS and 60 lbs of Corn Nuts. Cosmonauts have it hard.

I think that's all the puns and innuendo within your post but maybe some of it is unintentional or I'm missing some. Regardless, I'm not really sure what on earth this thread is meant to be about. Is this just some random "joke" thread or is there something I'm not grasping with regard to the thread?

EDIT: Also, your tag with this thread is...an interesting combination.

EDIT 2: Thanks Leezard for stimulator!
 
I finished all the porn on the internet.

It took me over ten years, 14,600 cups of coffee and 23 gallons of lube to do it, but I fucking did it. I know new porn is being produced around the world as we speak, but I am satisfied with how far I've cum. I have transgended fapping and would like to now introduce:

Sapping

That's right... sapping. Next generation space porn. Basically I just jerk it to formations seen on various planets via satellite imagery that kinda' look like boobs and butts and what-have-you. Also rovers. I have a thing for rovers now. My curiosity is keeping my head clear. The best news is that I'm working on a deal with an undisclothed space agency at the moanment who wants to send me to Mars. Scientits want to know how a human being with an evolved libido can fare in an alien world.

That said, here are some issues I would like to be cleared up bi the time I get back to Earth after eight long, hard years of working on the red planet:

Virtual reality -- We have been flirting with this for years; why don't have way better VR by now?

Wars -- There is no need for war if you have love. We need like... way moar love.

Money -- The standard formula of blowing money on college-->getting a job-->earning money is obsolete. New policies need to be asstablished around the world to solve this.

That's pretty munch it. I need to go start my training in the low buoyancy stimulator now and hopefully there won't be any more moisture penetration in my wetsuit. I can't believe they're spending all this money to get me off the ground and all they're giving me for the trip is Spaceballs on VHS and 60 lbs of Corn Nuts. Cosmonauts have it hard.

ibsqpxAIhbklkn.gif
 
I think that's all the puns and innuendo within your post but maybe some of it is unintentional or I'm missing some. Regardless, I'm not really sure what on earth this thread is meant to be about. Is this just some random "joke" thread or is there something I'm not grasping with regard to the thread?

You forgot "stimulator", but I think you caught everything else.
 
I think that's all the puns and innuendo within your post but maybe some of it is unintentional or I'm missing some. Regardless, I'm not really sure what on earth this thread is meant to be about. Is this just some random "joke" thread or is there something I'm not grasping with regard to the thread?

You missed one... but kudos to you fur the effort so far.
 
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