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I feel lost GAF, and I need some advice.

Fools idol

Member
Can I ask how old you are OP? Sounds like to me you’ve hit a midlife crisis.


I am 34 years old. You may be right sir. I am relieved in a way that this thread has even as many responses as it does without everyone just telling me to GTFO here with my shit.

Joking aside, I am truly humbled by the replies so far. I almost feel like an idiot for not thinking about some of these suggestions sooner myself, and I realised I need to be more open to trying new things especially exercise which I typically hate. Maybe doing more stuff outside of my comfort zone will indeed help.

Being successful has very little to do with whether you are leading a happy, fulfilling life. Stop putting yourself down for trying to address your problems.

You've identified a lot of it. Find a new primary goal, whether it's starting a new business, going back to school, climbing Everest, as long as it's challenging and worthwhile.

Your routine is not ideal. Get daily workouts in. That is the foundation for everything in life.

Secondary goals are important too. Learning an instrument, e.g. guitar or piano, is a lifelong pursuit that will grow in value with the time you dedicate to it.

Taking up a sport will help to solve your friends issue and give you another avenue to pursue growth and mastery. It's difficult not to make a bunch of friends in something like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.


thanks man, in particular the part about my routine. I know it's not healthy, I tend to just shy away from working out as I look like shit, which is something I have really needed to solve for a long time. My diet is also terrible. I was wondering why your username was red before I realised you are the creator of GAF, nice! thanks for taking time of your day for a response.

True that, but he is clearly a very determined, disciplined and principled guy. He just needs to find a way to apply these skills to his private time.
For work-oriented people it can be helpful to regard mental hygiene as a project that also requires work :)

I was once, but now I feel like I struggle to get out of bed most days. I don't really know why but I am going to pull at some suggestions in here as hard as it may be and bring myself back out of the hole.


Consider doing volunteer work, or maybe joining some social clubs.

I still work, but i also give some of my free time to the State Emergency Service, and the Rural Fire Service. Learned some crucial life skills and have met some incredible folks.
I have done this and do this regularly. While I think its important and will continue to do it, after a few times it really doesn't contribute to my mental health in any way. I feel it is my duty to help people who need it, which is why I continue to keep up my donating and charity work for both people and animals.

One thing I will say there are some replies in here that lean towards the 'you have so much money, why do you feel this way' route and I totally understand. I was of this opinion too once, but let me tell you, having millions in the bank does not fix much once your living costs are covered. I thought it would make my anxiety go away, but nope, my fucked up brain just created different things to worry about. I am quite literally proof that money does not buy true happiness my friends.
 
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I can't speak for you, OP. But for me, I realized that life is just distracting me from the things that really matter. Once I have the basic necessities of life met - food, clothing, shelter, social/financial stability, loving relationships, and hobbies - all that is left is nothing. Think of anything that you can do in life and then visualize the end of it. Death. So the reason why everything feels pointless is because, ultimately, it is. So I asked myself what do I really care about in life? What is my purpose? I found my answer in my Lord and Savior, Jesus. For me, no matter what I end up doing in life, it will be rotted by time. So I looked into the metaphysical for my answer. Obviously, people find their own reasons for life that wont be mine, and that is ok.

I have friends that say their purpose is to raise a family or experience the different sights of the world or meet and make as many meaningful relationships as possible. I don't have the wisdom or authority to say one way is right or wrong.

It is up to you to define your purpose in life. Honestly, from your post, you fulfilled all the things that society tells us are important, but have you ever answered the question yourself? Remove the distractions of physical and emotional needs and ask yourself what is important to you. I will be praying for you, OP. I hope you find your answer soon! And may that answer last for the rest of your life.
 

Fools idol

Member
I can't speak for you, OP. But for me, I realized that life is just distracting me from the things that really matter. Once I have the basic necessities of life met - food, clothing, shelter, social/financial stability, loving relationships, and hobbies - all that is left is nothing. Think of anything that you can do in life and then visualize the end of it. Death. So the reason why everything feels pointless is because, ultimately, it is. So I asked myself what do I really care about in life? What is my purpose? I found my answer in my Lord and Savior, Jesus. For me, no matter what I end up doing in life, it will be rotted by time. So I looked into the metaphysical for my answer. Obviously, people find their own reasons for life that wont be mine, and that is ok.

I have friends that say their purpose is to raise a family or experience the different sights of the world or meet and make as many meaningful relationships as possible. I don't have the wisdom or authority to say one way is right or wrong.

It is up to you to define your purpose in life. Honestly, from your post, you fulfilled all the things that society tells us are important, but have you ever answered the question yourself? Remove the distractions of physical and emotional needs and ask yourself what is important to you. I will be praying for you, OP. I hope you find your answer soon! And may that answer last for the rest of your life.

wow, that's a great post man, thankyou.

I have to be honest with you, I am not a religious man. I often times questioned the thought of higher powers than that of this world, even to the point where I distinctly remember standing very drunk and very cold out side of a church yard shouting at the sky like a crazy person asking why I was going through so much shit while my peers from high school were all doing fine, I was homeless. It's really hard to think there is a 'reason' for some guy taking a piss on your tent because he thinks its funny and its so cold that you have no choice but to sleep in a piss stained tent. :messenger_grinning_sweat:

Your question to me is a great one, and one I will need to think long and carefully about.
 
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