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[UnholySpectacle]

Dude, drink a bottle of -Sauerkraut juice-

After that, drink 1 glass of water.

That's the best you can do! It is healty and it solves your problem

OK, people need to start reading the whole thread now. It's worth it, trust me.

 

[mashoutposse]

X-Ray

now there's one dude i'll never pat on the back

 

[Uncooked]

Congratulations on the shit!

 

[hockeypuck]

I look in the toilet and the Juggernaut turd looked like a huge black dick. The head was very large, hard, and VERY dark

Congrats on stooling. If your crap also looked very tarry (literally, like black tar), go see a doctor (urgently, but not necessarily emergently). You could be having melena/GI bleed.

A normal KUB should be less dense than Sp0rk's.

 

[SRG01]

Never


The doctor said it's most likely IBS, (very) low possibility it could be Crohn's disease :\

Crohns. One of the worst diseases in existence.

 

[Prince of Space]

CLOSURE FINALLY. Fuck soap operas, I have Timedog's "Shitting Escapades."

As the World Turds.

Great ending to an epic saga.

 

[Chumly]

Im so glad I can take 2-3 healthy nice shits a day :lol This thread is made of win

 

[WordAssassin]

I want to say this thread is worthless because Timedog completely failed to take pictures of his epic black cock shit, and thus cannot upload them onto ratemypoop.com or even prove to us that he actually took said shit. What if he's still clogged and just wanted us off his case?

But then sp0rsk comes in with the fucking x-ray. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR DOCTORS SPORSK. Why can so many of them not fix you? Is there not some way to simply put a vacuum to your ass and suck it all out, so to speak? You've been to how many doctors in how long and NONE of them can help you? Fuck that, dude. That really sucks.

 

[ten5ive9ine]

Sporsk, weigh yourself before and after. See what percentage of your body is fecal matter.

 

[Mdk7]

"Carefully remove the poop from the shoulder area"

Sorry man but i'm like dying here! :lol
You got some cool self-irony sp0rsk!

Thread of the forever in any case...

 

[lil smoke]

IBS is what gasteroenterologists say when they don't know what the F is going on. It doesn't mean anything. I have digestive problems and have seen many doctors, and after they rule out the colon/hiatal hernia/acid reflux/etc. they then tell you you have IBS, and send you the bill.

Seriously, get a 2nd/3rd opinion. Do you have a normal scent, or do you smell weird after you shower? This could be anything.

 

[Captain Glanton]

But then sp0rsk comes in with the fucking x-ray. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR DOCTORS SPORSK. Why can so many of them not fix you? Is there not some way to simply put a vacuum to your ass and suck it all out, so to speak? You've been to how many doctors in how long and NONE of them can help you? Fuck that, dude. That really sucks.

Evidently we've found the industrialized country with a worse medical system than the US.

 

[smurfx]

this thread should be made into a movie.

 

[kame-sennin]

what he said. it's not a shoulder but it's still pretty high up.

and what do you mean "they gave me an enema. It's not totally healed" the enema? what's not healed? and IBS...I have that. (we're all sharing shit stories now, aren't we) It's currently my last week of finals ever since I graduate on the 15th. I'm stressing about it and it's not exactly making life super happy fun fun for me.

I feel your pain. There were a few classes I thought I would fail because of that. Assuming you have the kind of IBS were your tract moves too fast (the opposite of sporsk), I suggest eating a lot of white bread and staying away from whole wheat, eggs, and dairy. That tends to slow things down a bit.

IBS is what gasteroenterologists say when they don't know what the F is going on. It doesn't mean anything. I have digestive problems and have seen many doctors, and after they rule out the colon/hiatal hernia/acid reflux/etc. they then tell you you have IBS, and send you the bill.

Seriously, get a 2nd/3rd opinion. Do you have a normal scent, or do you smell weird after you shower? This could be anything.

This is true and incredibly frustrating. IBS is basically the label the medical community has given to people with stomach problems they've given up on

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

I feel your pain. There were a few classes I thought I would fail because of that. Assuming you have the kind of IBS were your tract moves too fast (the opposite of sporsk), I suggest eating a lot of white bread and staying away from whole wheat, eggs, and dairy. That tends to slow things down a bit.



This is true and incredibly frustrating. IBS is basically the label the medical community has given to people with stomach problems they've given up on

yeah, I guess it is that. I always figured I had a fast metabolism since food moves so quickly through me. and you're telling me to stay away from three staples of my diet. That's like telling me to go Atkins!

 

[bionic77]

Im so glad I can take 2-3 healthy nice shits a day :lol This thread is made of win

Isn't that a lot of crapping?

 

[kame-sennin]

yeah, I guess it is that. I always figured I had a fast metabolism since food moves so quickly through me. and you're telling me to stay away from three staples of my diet. That's like telling me to go Atkins!

If you actually have IBS, eggs and dairy will kill you. Whole wheat isn't horrible, but people with IBS don't need that extra fiber. You should check out this book. The author is kind of an idiot, but there are some good pointers in it.

 

[Kyoufu]

*bump*

So I just took a crap 10 minutes ago, and sadly, it was a little "sharp" and after I wiped, I saw some blood, so I wiped again, and saw even more blood.

Gah, so depressing. I've had blood down there before, but it hasn't happened in a while, and I'm never constipated. Time to see what the doctor says.

 

[WordAssassin]

*bump*

So I just took a crap 10 minutes ago, and sadly, it was a little "sharp" and after I wiped, I saw some blood, so I wiped again, and saw even more blood.

Gah, so depressing. I've had blood down there before, but it hasn't happened in a while, and I'm never constipated. Time to see what the doctor says.

How bight was it? Unless it was like dark red or mixed IN the stool, there's not a whole lot to worry about, prob'ly just a small tear. Sometimes when I take MASSIVE shits, there's blood. Sometimes enough blood to look like I've literally ripped myself a new one. Just go to the store and buy some Tux medicated wipes and eat some bananas for the next few days.

 

[Kyoufu]

How bight was it? Unless it was like dark red or mixed IN the stool, there's not a whole lot to worry about, prob'ly just a small tear. Sometimes when I take MASSIVE shits, there's blood. Sometimes enough blood to look like I've literally ripped myself a new one. Just go to the store and buy some Tux medicated wipes and eat some bananas for the next few days.

It was very bright actually. Not dark at all. I'm thinking that because of the sharpness of the shit it may have caused a fissure or something. Going to do as you say and eat some bananas and also buy medicated wipes. Definitely going to see the doctor though, can never be too sure about these things :/

Thanks for the reassurance btw, I freak out when I see blood down there

 

[M3wThr33]

Isn't that a lot of crapping?

No one really knows outside of their own experiences. (Hell, there's a lot of debates about how people wipe. Sitting down, bending over, back to front, front to back.)
NORMAL is anywhere from twice a day to twice a week. We're all different.

As for IBS and whatever, doctors still don't know everything. They seriously don't know what's going on during a lot of it and just make the most cautious guess to help.

 

[Vallarfax]

I haven't taken a shit in almost 2 weeks. I feel fine.

http://aboutbreathing.com/images/colon.jpg

 

[Vallarfax]

*bump*

So I just took a crap 10 minutes ago, and sadly, it was a little "sharp" and after I wiped, I saw some blood, so I wiped again, and saw even more blood.

Gah, so depressing. I've had blood down there before, but it hasn't happened in a while, and I'm never constipated. Time to see what the doctor says.

If you've been excessively tired and been peeing all the time you may want to go have yourself checked out. 2 years ago around this time I was sleeping alot, peeing on the hour, and my bm's were sharp and infrequent and it turned out I have Diabetes.

You may just be having an off month, but that my 2 cents.

 

[Kyoufu]

If you've been excessively tired and been peeing all the time you may want to go have yourself checked out. 2 years ago around this time I was sleeping alot, peeing on the hour, and my bm's were sharp and infrequent and it turned out I have Diabetes.

You may just be having an off month, but that my 2 cents.

I had a diabetes test last month when I had an anxiety attack, doctor said I was fine. My peeing is normal and I just took a shit again, this time it was soft and no blood when I wiped. Don't you just hate random shit like this?

 

[Apharmd]

do we like need a monthly topic on GAF for shit

i dunno, i mean the saga of timedog ended awhile ago and we still have people coming in chiming in with plenty of problems and being met with an equal amount of advice/answers, and before we realize it the topic page has gone to double digits.

and we're only talking about crapping.

 

[perryfarrell]

http://aboutbreathing.com/images/colon.jpg

Now that's some appetizing shit right there

 

[Femmeworth]

http://aboutbreathing.com/images/colon.jpg

Jesus Christ! I was eating you bastard.

 

[Shorty]

http://aboutbreathing.com/images/colon.jpg

no....way!

 

[Jacobi]

Crohns. One of the worst diseases in existence.

Nayo. Mine was healed or at least it doesn't bother me anymore (if I take the medicine).

 

[ILL2]

http://aboutbreathing.com/images/colon.jpg

that's definitely a Katie Couric

 

[cashman]

Type 1? type 5?

I type 6'd the other day. I think it was the first time in my life I've ever done that and it felt horrible, type 3 feels the best

 

[cashman]

fucking A this thread broke me, and I saw it for the first time. Christ, I wish I had my childhood and innocence back

 

[Kyoufu]

I took a shit at my friend's house (fucking hate taking shits at any toilet that isn't my own) and I bled once again. The thing is, it wasn't sharp shit at all. It was pretty soft, but I could feel it burning as it came out.

I'm a soldier, wounded in battle. MEDIC!

 

[OxtheMidget]

I'm crapping as a type this

 

[Rabid Wolverine]

Until today I went 3 days without crapping.

Never came to mind until I saw this thread again :lol Had an ice cream attack, that shit flew right through the spring valley.

 

[Anasui Kishibe]

 

[UnholySpectacle]

fucking A this thread broke me, and I saw it for the first time. Christ, I wish I had my childhood and innocence back

I assume 2G1C?

 

[Duress]

That's hot.

 

[sprsk]

I just thought I'd let everyone know that I've been dumping every day for the past 5 days and today I had my first regular stage 4 poop in almost 2 years.

;_;

 

[Ogni-XR21]

Some time ago my doctor said I might have a very light form of IBS. I started testing and it turns out that I only have problems if I eat too late. Too bad my daily schedule is setup to have the main meal in the evening, so now I'm trying not to eat too much for dinner but have a proper meal for lunch. This kind of sucks cause I go swimming/running regularly after work, and not being able to eat a proper meal after that sucks.

 

[Osaka]

This reminds me of when I was a kid... I held a shit in for far too long.
When I went to crap it out, I pushed too hard and my asshole turned inside out (sorta). My intestines were semi-out-of-my-ass and were being pinched by my sphincter. It started turning blue so my parents had to call the ambulance.... Luckily with the help of some warm water it slid back in and no damage was done.

HOLY SHIT.

 

[CoolS]

I just thought I'd let everyone know that I've been dumping every day for the past 5 days and today I had my first regular stage 4 poop in almost 2 years.

;_;

Hey I actually wanted to ask that in your whale thread.

Good to hear, it must feel really good I'd imagine.

 

[M3wThr33]

I just thought I'd let everyone know that I've been dumping every day for the past 5 days and today I had my first regular stage 4 poop in almost 2 years.

;_;

Is that GOOD news?

 

[Kyoufu]

I just thought I'd let everyone know that I've been dumping every day for the past 5 days and today I had my first regular stage 4 poop in almost 2 years.

;_;

Good to hear but, what does stage 4 poop mean? Runny shit?

 

[M3wThr33]

Good to hear but, what does stage 4 poop mean? Runny shit?

 

[Kyoufu]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bristol_Stool_Chart.png/460px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png[/IMG]

Ah I see. I had type 4 yesterday

 

[shpankey]

i always have Type 4 with the occasional Type 6.

oh how i miss the old Type 2 days

 

[RyuHayate]

I like Type 4s. How do you keep 'em?

 

[Timedog]

Holy shit!

 

[jtardiou]

I don't poop enough, probably only 3 times a week. What are some foods I can intake that will help me poop more regularly?