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I just came out to my mother

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Ryck said:
Yeah when my cousin came out to his mom they sent him to therapy and church. Apparently the therapist was gay too so they just talked about gay stuff.

That is funny as hell. I hope your mom comes around to this. People shouldn't be feeling their children are failures because of this. They need to understand this better.
 
GSG Flash said:
Yes I would. I guess I just have a higher opinion of parenthood and parents (who actually bring up their kids) in general than you do.
you have got to be fucking insane if you would respect your parents if they were physically abusive. you just pretty much told GAF to not care about any of your posts.
 
krypt0nian said:
Wow talk about abused wife syndrome. I take people as they are. Family only means something if they behave like family.

In the case of the OP, his family actually seems like they care, and that's why I said that they deserve respect no matter what because they brought you up. A case like Kinitari's would be an exception because his dad was obviously an asshole and seems like he had no hand or responsibility in bringing him up.

btkadams said:
you have got to be fucking insane if you would respect your parents if they were physically abusive. you just pretty much told GAF to not care about any of your posts.

Depends on abusive in what way. Hitting children to discipline them is much different that hitting children just because they can. I don't know of many parents that do the latter.
 
GSG Flash said:
In the case of the OP, his family actually seems like they care, and that's why I said that they deserve respect no matter what because they brought you up. A case like Kinitari's would be an exception because his dad was obviously an asshole and seems like he had no hand or responsibility in bringing him up.

What about the scenario I mentioned with regards to Stephen Bennett? Let's say your parents told you YOU couldn't bring home a girlfriend home for Thanksgiving or Christmas (I'm assuming you're an adult and out of the house), are you saying you'd respect your parents wishes?
 
Gaborn said:
What about the scenario I mentioned with regards to Stephen Bennett? Let's say your parents told you YOU couldn't bring home a girlfriend home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, are you saying you'd respect your parents wishes?

Yes because my parents have said exactly that to me, and you know what? I respect their wishes.
 
castle007 said:
I can't believe some of you people!!

What the hell is this "fuck parents" mentality?? I can kind of understand if you are 15, but other than that...

There's no rule saying you have to like or be friends with your parents. My parents were even somewhat understanding of me being gay (at least considering my expectations), but I still hated 'em.
 
GSG Flash said:
Yes because my parents have said exactly that to me, and you know what? I respect their wishes.

Seriously? I mean... SERIOUSLY? :lol :lol :lol that's ridiculous. What happens if you got married and they didn't like your wife?
 
Gaborn said:
Seriously? I mean... SERIOUSLY? :lol :lol :lol that's ridiculous.

May be ridiculous to you, but not to me. Like I said, I highly respect my parents and I would give my life for them if I had to.
 
Gaborn said:
Seriously? I mean... SERIOUSLY? :lol :lol :lol that's ridiculous. What happens if you got married and they didn't like your wife?
raymond generic web.jpg
 
GSG Flash said:
May be ridiculous to you, but not to me. Like I said, I highly respect my parents and I would give my life for them if I had to.

I would as well, but I also have other people in my life that are important. I don't believe that someone that loves you would make you choose between the two. And I know of no one that would willingly leave their wife/husband at home if their parents didn't approve, they'd just go to their spouse's house.

Kinitari - :lol :lol :lol Yep, and even there, Frank and Marie don't like Deborah - but they still accept her during the Holidays, because they know they're a package deal.
 
Gaborn said:
I would as well, but I also have other people in my life that are important. I don't believe that someone that loves you would make you choose between the two. And I know of no one that would willingly leave their wife/husband at home if their parents didn't approve, they'd just go to their spouse's house.

Kinitari - :lol :lol :lol Yep, and even there, Frank and Marie don't like Deborah - but they still accept her during the Holidays, because they know they're a package deal.

Spuse is a bit different from girlfriend.

And whoever I got married to, I would make sure that my parents did like her before I tie the knot. There's no point in ruining a family because of that, especially since marriage should be a happy occasion for both sides.
 
LOL I'm surprised no one commented on this gem of idiocy:

domokunrox said:
Uh, well, you know, Not having a father figure is the leading cause to young males feeling like they're homosexual or bisexual according to research studies, so its not rediculous that she thinks this. Its right up there with Child Molestation, Child Rape, Early prepubescent Sexual experiences, etc.

In fact, there is a study that links divorced parents leading to child homosexuality and the rampant rise of divorce statistics and coming out in the past 40 years.
 
GSG Flash said:
Spuse is a bit different from girlfriend.

Yes and no, what about fiance? What about someone you've been seeing for over a year?

And whoever I got married to, I would make sure that my parents did like her before I tie the knot. There's no point in ruining a family because of that, especially since marriage should be a happy occasion for both sides.

Unless you're going to live in perpetuity near your parents that's a little unrealistic without bringing them home.
 
I dont see myself living my life trying to live up to everybody's expectations. I used to be like that and it almost drove me insane.

I will not share the story of my father and me, but I will say he has been an idiot for most of my life. And while I rarely talk trash about him, the only thing he gets from me is cold indiference, which is actually the worst kind of punishment.

I have nothing but love for my mother. Im hopeful she'll get over it. If anyone dares to call me a bad son because I dont agree with her stance on bisexuality or homesexuality, then they're idiots. I have tried to be the best I can be for her, since I was 15 Ive been taking her to countless rahab facilities and mental institutions.
 
About bisexuaity - if you're good either way, why not just go for the socially acceptable, just so everyone else is happy too?
 
mrkgoo said:
About bisexuaity - if you're good either way, why not just go for the socially acceptable, just so everyone else is happy too?

Because dating is dating and attraction is attraction? Someone might like both equally, but be particularly attracted to a male (or a female) and... that's that. You don't really control who you have feelings for.
 
mrkgoo said:
About bisexuaity - if you're good either way, why not just go for the socially acceptable, just so everyone else is happy too?


If you had to choose between someone you love and someone who is "socially acceptable", which one would you choose?
 
Uncle said:
If you had to choose between someone you love and someone who is "socially acceptable", which one would you choose?

Yep, and incidentally before someone else brings this up, bisexuality is NOT an argument in favor of polygamy. I like brunettes and blonds and redheads, (and people with black hair aren't so bad either...) but that doesn't mean if I was able to marry a brunette I should be able to marry a blond at the same time.
 
Gaborn said:
As sad as the results are, it's not that uncommon that some people try it.


GSGFlash - What if your parents followed Stephen Bennett's advice and not allow them to bring their partner home for dinner? I'm all for respect, but I think parents also have to respect their children enough to respect their family... if they still want to be a part of their Children's lives that is:

this is one of the saddest things I have ever read here at NEOGAF.

how would people be against themselves and their very nature just to please strangers or society?

If you are gay, you stay away of women and learn to love yourself the way you are, there is no ex-gay bullshit, it really is saddening.
 
GSG Flash said:
Spuse is a bit different from girlfriend.

And whoever I got married to, I would make sure that my parents did like her before I tie the knot. There's no point in ruining a family because of that, especially since marriage should be a happy occasion for both sides.

Wow. So if you found the love of your life but your parents didn't like her, you wouldn't get married. You seem to be basing your entire life off whatever your parents want.
 
sphinx said:
this is one of the saddest things I have ever read here at NEOGAF.

how would people be against themselves and their very nature just to please strangers or society?

If you are gay, you stay away of women and learn to love yourself the way you are, there is no ex-gay bullshit, it really is saddening.

It's sad, but the way I look at it, arming yourself with knowledge is the best defense against the shysters and con men of the ex-gay "movement," and of course the women:

The good reverend tells us the best way to overcome our own homosexuality is to imagine Jesus as a gay man. "The love and the passion that you feel for another of the same sex, try to see Jesus and try to give him that same passion and love and desire," she says. "He can handle it. He takes it, and he will rework it and give you the deepest, greatest love affair." She whispers: "Jesus is a man. What if he were a gay man and he desired you, and he wanted your body totally for himself? Whoa! What if?"
 
Gaborn said:
Yes and no, what about fiance? What about someone you've been seeing for over a year?

Well, I'm fairly religious and since there's no dating in my religion, I wouldn't really ever be in that situation. But let's say hypothetically that I was starting to see someone, I wouldn't keep them hidden from my parents and if my parents didn't approve then so be it.

Kusagari said:
Wow. So if you found the love of your life but your parents didn't like her, you wouldn't get married. You seem to be basing your entire life off whatever your parents want.

I don't really have that kind of a view about love, to me love comes and goes, there won't ever be a love of my life until I get married.

And yes, pleasing my parents is a pretty important aspect of my life.

That's just how I see things, and I understand it differs extremely from not only GAF perception of life, but also the whole western view of life, but I think that's why there is little respect for parents and elders in general nowadays.
 
GSG Flash said:
Well, I'm fairly religious and since there's no dating in my religion, I wouldn't really ever be in that situation. But let's say hypothetically that I was starting to see someone, I wouldn't keep them hidden from my parents and if my parents didn't approve then so be it.



I don't really have that kind of a view about love, to me love comes and goes, there won't ever be a love of my life until I get married.

And yes, pleasing my parents is a pretty important aspect of my life.

That's just how I see things, and I understand it differs extremely from not only GAF perception of life, but also the whole western view of life, but I think that's why there is little respect for parents and elders in general nowadays.

For me, people don't deserve respect from the virtue of being old, they have to earn it.
 
GSG Flash said:
Well, I'm fairly religious and since there's no dating in my religion, I wouldn't really ever be in that situation. But let's say hypothetically that I was starting to see someone, I wouldn't keep them hidden from my parents and if my parents didn't approve then so be it.

Out of curiosity what religion doesn't allow dating?
 
GSG Flash said:
Well, I'm fairly religious and since there's no dating in my religion, I wouldn't really ever be in that situation. But let's say hypothetically that I was starting to see someone, I wouldn't keep them hidden from my parents and if my parents didn't approve then so be it.



I don't really have that kind of a view about love, to me love comes and goes, there won't ever be a love of my life until I get married.

And yes, pleasing my parents is a pretty important aspect of my life.

That's just how I see things, and I understand it differs extremely from not only GAF perception of life, but also the whole western view of life, but I think that's why there is little respect for parents and elders in general nowadays.
I am glad I do not subscribe to your religion. I think love should be the choice of a person, and not of their parents.

I'd comment more, but... yeah... not really my place...
 
GSG Flash said:
Well, I'm fairly religious and since there's no dating in my religion, I wouldn't really ever be in that situation. But let's say hypothetically that I was starting to see someone, I wouldn't keep them hidden from my parents and if my parents didn't approve then so be it.

I don't really have that kind of a view about love, to me love comes and goes, there won't ever be a love of my life until I get married.
But what if the girl you're seeing is the one you want to marry and become the love of your life? If your parents don't agree, you shrug it off and wait for the next love of your life who you may not love as much as the girl you let go? I'm sorry man, but if the idea of 'love of one's life' to you means the one you're allowed to live with for the rest of your life instead of the one you want to live with... that's quite depressing.

And yes, pleasing my parents is a pretty important aspect of my life.
A more important aspect than pursuing your own happiness? You don't interfere with your parents' lives by being with the one you love, you're simply living your own. That's your right as a human being and it's a parent's responsibility to not interfere with these choices when they have to be made by someone else. You'll always be their child even as an adult, that doesn't give them the right to treat you as one. This is not even about respecting your parents. You can respect someone without respecting some of their choices or opinions. Even if they don't respect yours, it's not within their right, even as parents, to deny you your happiness when it is harmful to no one (even if they will argue it harms them).

That's just how I see things, and I understand it differs extremely from not only GAF perception of life, but also the whole western view of life, but I think that's why there is little respect for parents and elders in general nowadays.
Allow me to say that I'm pleased your perception of life is not shared by many around me. As I said, I think it's a bit depressing to read. Most respect and love their parents, and the ones that don't usually have more than enough reason for it. You can love and respect your parents without having them dictate your adult life.
 
Gaborn said:
Out of curiosity what religion doesn't allow dating?

I'm a muslim

Timber said:
But what if the girl you're seeing is the one you want to marry and become the love of your life? If your parents don't agree, you shrug it off and wait for the next love of your life who you may not love as much as the girl you let go? I'm sorry man, but if the idea of 'love of one's life' to you means the one you're allowed to live with for the rest of your life instead of the one you want to live with... that's quite depressing.

Like I said, my view of love is that love comes and goes, love goes only as far as attraction will take it. It may be depressing to you, but that's probably because I can't really express my feelings well in words and it makes it seem more depressing than it is.

A more important aspect than pursuing your own happiness? You don't interfere with your parents' lives by being with the one you love, you're simply living your own. That's your right as a human being and it's a parent's responsibility to not interfere with these choices when they have to be made by someone else. You'll always be their child even as an adult, that doesn't give them the right to treat you as one. This is not even about respecting your parents. You can respect someone without respecting some of their choices or opinions. Even if they don't respect yours, it's not within their right, even as parents, to deny you your happiness when it is harmful to no one (even if they will argue it harms them).

Here's the thing, I'm happy if my parents are happy. And where did I say that my parents don't let me enjoy my life? I'm enjoying my life just fine.

Allow me to say that I'm pleased your perception of life is not shared by many around me. As I said, I think it's a bit depressing to read. Most respect and love their parents, and the ones that don't usually have more than enough reason for it. You can love and respect your parents without having them dictate your adult life.

That's your opinion and I respect it. I just turned 20, so I wouldn't say my I'm completely an adult yet, but I don't expect my parents to dictate my adult life, just like my grandparents don't dictate theirs, nor do they currently. It seems like some of you think that I live and die by what my parents say, the truth is that there are many things I do that my parents would not approve of and I do get into arguments with them about a lot of things. But in the end, I still respect my parents and grandparents more than I respect anyone else in this world, and if I'm responsible for doing something that makes them unhappy or sad, I won't do it or I'll try to convince them otherwise, I think it's the least I can do for them giving me such a great childhood.
 
Gaborn said:
You don't really control who you have feelings for.

I guess whoever posted that "Free will doesn't exist" thread today was right! :lol

But I agree with what you say. Props to you, OP, for coming out--I commend you. (Funnily enough, today is National Coming Out Day, so it's kind of ironic that this thread of all threads would get bumped on this day of all days.)
 
Masked Man said:
I guess whoever posted that "Free will doesn't exist" thread today was right! :lol

But I agree with what you say. Props to you, OP, for coming out--I commend you. (Funnily enough, today is National Coming Out Day, so it's kind of ironic that this thread of all threads would get bumped on this day of all days.)

You can't control love... but you can react to it in different ways. You can embrace, you can deny it, you can express it to them, you can suppress it. You can let it consume you, you can control it to the point that you're always on edge, always wondering. You can spend years, pining, waiting, wondering if they feel like you do, afraid to act, afraid of rejection, afraid of the world, afraid of tomorrow, afraid of the next second. You can tell them, endure one moment of AGONIZING uncertainty in exchange for knowledge. No promise of acceptance, no guarantee you won't be rejected, but a MOMENT, a second in time where there's still that possibility... and then you know.
 
funkmastergeneral said:
Indeed, there is no way two gay men could have a conversation and not just have sex with each other.

it was just a joke dude :lol

I thought he was talking about the priest. It was basically a joke about gay priests

Greatness Gone said:
Castle007, retarded as always.

Greatness Gone

that is all I have to say



how is Crushed banned and yet GG is still allowed to post?? :(
 
White Man said:
There's no rule saying you have to like or be friends with your parents. My parents were even somewhat understanding of me being gay (at least considering my expectations), but I still hated 'em.


Im sure the feeling is mutual.
 
btkadams said:
GG chill i enjoy reading your outlandish posts but youre going to get banned lol.
Cause of what? I think he's well within limits when it comes to mocking castle007 given the insane amount of dumb shit that guy spews out on a daily basis.
 
Timber said:
Cause of what? I think he's well within limits when it comes to mocking castle007 given the insane amount of dumb shit that guy spews out on a daily basis.
I agree with Castle007 on the gaming side but viciously disagree with him on the OT side. He has no understanding of sexuality whatsoever and yet draws conclusions on it.

That irks me, in defense of hotnessgone.

That being said, hotnessgone is a bit too homo for my bisexual tastes, although I have a feeling he's good in bed and we could have fun.
 
Timber said:
Cause of what? I think he's well within limits when it comes to mocking castle007 given the insane amount of dumb shit that guy spews out on a daily basis.

this just shows that you don't know what the fuck you are talking about
 
In defense of GSG Flash:

I am another who believes in respecting your parents wishes, just the way I was raised I guess. However I will never go as far as to say your parents wishes should be a factor in determining your future spouse or life in general. I learned the hard way whilst growing up that living life for your parents happiness is such a idea on so many levels that in the end you become resentful if they get it wrong better to make your own mistakes not your parents.

Now I don't know if you have ever been in love Flash but please, please, please do not give it up when you find it due to pressure from your parents. You will only end up being resentful towards them over time which will ruin your relationship anyway.

My thoughts toward the OP are as follows it was probably the right decision to tell them its not the sort of thing you can hide forever. However, you should try and always maitain some line of communication to your parents even if the relationship goes cold. Try and talk to them even if the responses are cold and always be open to them.
 
Timber said:
Cause of what? I think he's well within limits when it comes to mocking castle007 given the insane amount of dumb shit that guy spews out on a daily basis.
i have never agreed with anything castle007 says but saying hes retarded and a bitch isnt really adding much to any debate.
 
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