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[turnbuckle]

So, GAF, I have an update.

After sending a message earlier in the week, conveying my continued interest in contacting him, I finally got a reply and a friend request from him!



Kinda already knew the last bit from perusing his FB page. But hey, it's SOMETHING anyway. I've sent a reply, but he hasn't replied back. Again, I have no idea if it really is a matter of him losing my message or if it's just an excuse for his hesitation to respond.

But hey, progress

Ahh nice update Sounds like a pretty cool guy

Don't let him steal your kidney

:lol

 

[The Praiseworthy]

I don't care what the guys here will call me... but reading the OP posts made me tears up

I'm really really wishing you two to get along and to get to know each others so well, and over time become close as a real father and son should be.

I will pray for you man.

 

[VariantX04]

 

[Manmademan]

fun story, I was chilling at home one day when I was 12 or 13, and got a call from some dude asking to talk to my dad. He wasn't home, so I asked who it was.

The reply was "My name is [forgot the name here] and I think I'm his son".

needless to say, this was kind of a lot for me to take in. I told my dad about the call, but kept my mouth shut to my siblings and my mom.

Turned out he was looking for another dude with the same name that graduated high school the year before my dad did. Awkkkkwwaaarrrd :lol

 

[Alx]

Dali claims he gave his father a condom filled with his own semen, saying, “I owe you nothing anymore.”

 

[Mr. Sam]

My dad is adopted - expectedly, my surname is therefore the surname of his adopted parents - and I've always discouraged him from tracking down his biological parents. His real parents, I argue, are the people who raised and cared for him - not the people who gave him up as a baby.

 

[Z_Y]

So, GAF, I have an update.

After sending a message earlier in the week, conveying my continued interest in contacting him, I finally got a reply and a friend request from him!



Kinda already knew the last bit from perusing his FB page. But hey, it's SOMETHING anyway. I've sent a reply, but he hasn't replied back. Again, I have no idea if it really is a matter of him losing my message or if it's just an excuse for his hesitation to respond.

But hey, progress

"har har"?

Disown him.

 

[norinrad]

I'm happy for you, take it slow and get to know him. He sounds like a cool guy and you sound like a good person too. take baby steps and everything should work out fine.

Good luck and have fun

 

[NYR]

So, GAF, I have an update.

After sending a message earlier in the week, conveying my continued interest in contacting him, I finally got a reply and a friend request from him!



Kinda already knew the last bit from perusing his FB page. But hey, it's SOMETHING anyway. I've sent a reply, but he hasn't replied back. Again, I have no idea if it really is a matter of him losing my message or if it's just an excuse for his hesitation to respond.

But hey, progress

Good for you, man. Looks like he doesn't use Facebook that often, I would arrange another form of contact, ASAP.

Have fun, enjoy the new family!!

 

[ChiTownBuffalo]

Christmas in Hawaii?

 

[cntr]

Threads like this are always really exciting.

 

[guidop]

My dad is adopted - expectedly, my surname is therefore the surname of his adopted parents - and I've always discouraged him from tracking down his biological parents. His real parents, I argue, are the people who raised and cared for him - not the people who gave him up as a baby.

Dude that is noble but flawed advice. Back in the day a lot of women were forcibly made to give the child up if it was conceived out of wedlock. You have no way of knowing the circumstances of the adoption. Its just as likely there is some heart-broken old lady yearning for her lost son

 

[guidop]

So yeah, my poor Mom, just doesn't have the best luck with men. A crying shame really :/

It seems she got pretty lucky with you : )

 

[jim-jam bongs]

So, GAF, I have an update.

After sending a message earlier in the week, conveying my continued interest in contacting him, I finally got a reply and a friend request from him!



Kinda already knew the last bit from perusing his FB page. But hey, it's SOMETHING anyway. I've sent a reply, but he hasn't replied back. Again, I have no idea if it really is a matter of him losing my message or if it's just an excuse for his hesitation to respond.

But hey, progress

threads like this make me hate gaf...posts like his make me love gaf :_)

good luck man

 

[Christopher]

I think this is really the question that needs to be addressed.

Since you never actually knew him, your only connection is a genetic one. The only things that make him more likely to be a father figure for you at this stage is obligation and guilt, and I'm not sure that's exactly a good thing. Curiosity is powerful, but not necessarily fruitful. If I laid out a list of pros and cons the cons side would be way longer.

EXACTLY...like really who cares if I found someone who I never knew who was related I wouldn't care.

 

[Yoboman]

Marry his wife's mother and become your father's father

 

[KevinRo]

Good job on tracking down your father.

I didn't find my real dad until it was too late, he died when I was 21(now 22).

Wish I would've went to see him.

 

[Anasui Kishibe]

 

[Enco]

Don't let him steal your kidney

:lol

You win.

I support the poking idea

 

[Sanskrit]

I noticed that aswell, haha

 

[MidnightScott]

Poke him.

Seriously. Poke him on Facebook, and when he asks why you poked him, say something like 'I always wanted to poke my daddy.'

:lol :lol DUDE! LOL!

I have a half brother I never knew about. My mom gave him up when she was 15, he is 27 now (assuming he isn't dead or anything like that). Would love to meet him but she doesn't even know his name so unless he is looking for her, I'm SOL.

 

[Lard]

Free trips to Hawaii. Go for it.

Exactly what I thought.

 

[Mr. Sam]

Dude that is noble but flawed advice. Back in the day a lot of women were forcibly made to give the child up if it was conceived out of wedlock. You have no way of knowing the circumstances of the adoption.

Actually, he does know the circumstances. Oddly enough, she went on to have three more kids with the same guy and kept them.

But even if she was some sad old lady that regretted it, she still wouldn't be his mother.

 

[Christopher]

I just don't understand why mostly the children go looking for their real parents...wouldn't you think if they wanted to communicate with you in this day and age that THEY would iniate contact??

I'm just in the boat of if they haven't been around since before you could remember, besides the genetics why would you want to communicate with this person...can't wrap my mind around it.


Hey guess what you're my dad...oh ok.

 

[BlackGoku03]

So, GAF, I have an update.

After sending a message earlier in the week, conveying my continued interest in contacting him, I finally got a reply and a friend request from him!



Kinda already knew the last bit from perusing his FB page. But hey, it's SOMETHING anyway. I've sent a reply, but he hasn't replied back. Again, I have no idea if it really is a matter of him losing my message or if it's just an excuse for his hesitation to respond.

But hey, progress

That's great man!

Just recently my girlfriend found out she had a long lost brother. He contacter her through facebook. He's coming down to visit us in the next month or two. His dad (my gf's dad) has talked to him and helped him out with a few things financially too so it sounds like they are making progress.

I'm glad your dad responded. Don't think it's your responsibility to be "father and son" right away. Best thing to do is to get to know him. But without having a real father figure in your life, maybe it can't be helped?

 

[SolsticeZero]

Wow @ the kidney theft. Winner!

 

[Choppasmith]

I just don't understand why mostly the children go looking for their real parents...wouldn't you think if they wanted to communicate with you in this day and age that THEY would iniate contact??

I'm just in the boat of if they haven't been around since before you could remember, besides the genetics why would you want to communicate with this person...can't wrap my mind around it.


Hey guess what you're my dad...oh ok.

Ehhh it's always been a mystery in my life. I guess I'm just curious by nature. Like I said in that other recent thread, I never had a father. While, yes, he's not really a true "father" to me, it feels like a loose end I want to tie up before he or I die. As pathetic and sappy as it sounds, in my situation, if there's someone out there I can call father, I'd really like to make peace with things and make it happen. As some people said on the first page, it's possible that he feels the same way. Maybe he thought I grew up with a step father and didn't want to interfere with my life, much the same as I didn't want to just pop up in his life.

One thing I told him when I recently replied to him was that it was quite a surprising shock to hear he was a professional photographer, as I enjoy taking scenic pictures as a hobby and people have said I have a real knack for it. I told him I certainly like to know if there were other traits I might've picked up from him.

Again, I know he probably won't ever be the dad I never had, but I'm just hoping to make some good friends and maybe find out more about my mysterious genetic half.

Thanks guys for all the supportive messages. If anything else major happens I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

 

[Broken Arrow]

Ehhh it's always been a mystery in my life. I guess I'm just curious by nature. Like I said in that other recent thread, I never had a father. While, yes, he's not really a true "father" to me, it feels like a loose end I want to tie up before he or I die. As pathetic and sappy as it sounds, in my situation, if there's someone out there I can call father, I'd really like to make peace with things and make it happen. As some people said on the first page, it's possible that he feels the same way. Maybe he thought I grew up with a step father and didn't want to interfere with my life, much the same as I didn't want to just pop up in his life.

One thing I told him when I recently replied to him was that it was quite a surprising shock to hear he was a professional photographer, as I enjoy taking scenic pictures as a hobby and people have said I have a real knack for it. I told him I certainly like to know if there were other traits I might've picked up from him.

Again, I know he probably won't ever be the dad I never had, but I'm just hoping to make some good friends and maybe find out more about my mysterious genetic half.

Thanks guys for all the supportive messages. If anything else major happens I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

Good luck dude!

 

[IsntChrisL]

I think your next step should be packing your bags and flying to Hawaii! If you're step-mom [in-law?] opens the door, swoop her up in a spinning hug and scream "Mommy!"

Congrats on the contact.

 

[chicko1983]

I noticed that aswell, haha

haha, I noticed as well.

I searched for adoption and birth and mother and father

but it didnt come up with something. purely co-incidental.

I am PM'ing the OP now...

 

[1GabUp]

Yeah I was going to post this. Funny coincidence!

 

[Devolution]

Actually, he does know the circumstances. Oddly enough, she went on to have three more kids with the same guy and kept them.

But even if she was some sad old lady that regretted it, she still wouldn't be his mother.

All I know is my own mother has lived 65 years not knowing the identity of her real parents. Her adoptive parents were great and treated her as one of their own but she's told me time and again there is still this missing piece when you don't know your own biological history. Just the agony she goes through when she talks about it tells me I'll never really know that particular feeling but I have some idea since that's still half of my line too.

 

[Choppasmith]

Thought I'd give this a bump with a significant update.

Things are going much better than I could have EVER hoped. This past Thursday being my birthday, I got a bunch of birthday wishes from his whole family. Even his wife (with no actual blood relation to me obviously) has been very friendly and eager to meet me, and after exchanging numbers, my father actually called me up on the phone today, sang me Happy Birthday, and we had a nice long conversation.

I mean, it's not like I got really emotional, but damn, hearing him talk to me for the first time is pretty something. He's really a laid back fellow and really nice. And they've invited me to their house in Kauai, we're shooting for sometime in the Summer.

So like I said, things are going extraordinarily well.

 

[DonMigs85]

That's great to hear. Did he give you presents to make up for lost time yet?

 

[qcf x2]

Being from a fatherless home myself, I find this very creepy for some reason. Probably because I wouldn't trust anyone who gave up on you for 20+ yrs. Personally I'd be more open to meeting siblings but not a deserter. A grown man could have made contact with his son if he wanted to, don't kid yourself.

That said, you seem intent on liking the guy and having a mushy Hollywood family esque relationship with him so hey, I hope it works out for ya. And I also hope you haven't hurt the parent that stuck around in the process.

 

[Ivan A Nguyen]

Spend the money and run a real background check on the man before you meet him. It's been a very long time and no one is going to volunteer the bad stuff. Do it for your own safety.

 

[JGS]

I'm always torn on this. I usually would have no interest in meeting long lost family except for medical reasons.

However, it seems like the mother was partially responsible for him not being in the OP's life. If it's something he wants to do, I say go for it.

 

[Boozeroony]

Really, really awesome to hear. Good luck!

 

[bengraven]

Your dad sounds like a totally amazing guy. It makes me wonder, from what you've said about her choice in men later in life, if she was scared that his laid back, playful attitude made me scared he'd be immature when it came to raising children. So she went for someone who she felt was more, maybe manly?, and he ended up an abusive asshole.

I'm not trying to play psychologist, I'm just thinking this is very similar to my life situation, though my father was still there.

 

[ChocolateCupcakes]

Glad everything went well.

 

[Cyan]

Thought I'd give this a bump with a significant update.

Things are going much better than I could have EVER hoped. This past Thursday being my birthday, I got a bunch of birthday wishes from his whole family. Even his wife (with no actual blood relation to me obviously) has been very friendly and eager to meet me, and after exchanging numbers, my father actually called me up on the phone today, sang me Happy Birthday, and we had a nice long conversation.

I mean, it's not like I got really emotional, but damn, hearing him talk to me for the first time is pretty something. He's really a laid back fellow and really nice. And they've invited me to their house in Kauai, we're shooting for sometime in the Summer.

So like I said, things are going extraordinarily well.

Glad to hear it, my man!

 

[Bisnic]

That's good to hear, seems like a really nice guy. Kinda sucks that he wasn't there for all these years, but at least he cares about you and wants to see you, which is pretty cool!

 

[totowhoa]

Damn, awesome update man. Glad things went great!