I may give up on trying to get into acting...


There are millions of whiny 5-year olds on Earth, and I AM THEIR KING.
Mar 15, 2007
I cannot relate to the specific circumstances you have experienced, except this:

I've totally lost my confidence
I was at that point once in my life too. I won't go into details, but it felt like I had hit rock bottom. It took me a while to realize I was sabotaging myself by losing confidence on my success and that the only way I was going to lose was by giving up.

If you really want to be something in life, don't blame the factors surrounding you, the opportunities that were never there for you, the lucky breaks you never caught, the people who let you down or the ones conspiring against you.

Focus on the things you can control, and specifically on you. Be the best person you can be within the context in which you exist. Continue with that project of yours shot with your phone camera, ditch facebook and that network of losers who gateway your acting, and build a free website or blog (https://www.websitetooltester.com/en/blog/best-free-website-builders/) that links to your miniseries. Nobody can stop you from doing those, so work on them until exhaustion, and then wake up to work more.

Also, don't focus on "being an actor" focus on "acting".

And watch Rocky whenever you are feeling down:

Dec 6, 2017
It's always great to say that there's hope, that if you keep on pushing you'll get there but really sometimes you just don't have to skill set required to do something and getting that skill set is impossible. So you need to realize that you're wasting your time, cut your losses and move onto something else.
Aug 15, 2018
If acting is a passion you should do it, but you shouldn't expect fame and notoriety. Sometimes dreams don't work out completely the way we expect them to. Maybe one day you'll make it big and studios will call you in, but most likely that won't happen. Just do your best and enjoy the work you love.

So what exactly about acting is appealing to you? Maybe you can find something else involved in your passion that isn't necessarily acting.
Jan 9, 2018
Either cut your losses or go to drama school, kiss many asses and do something about the attitude. Don't just read books about acting - get books meant for directors, like Judith Weston's or whatever.
You should probably do stage and performance stuff for a couple of years. Stage acting destroys any anxiety issues. I worked with a school that made new students go nude right at the start (I guess that's not happening in the US lol).
May 17, 2018
You can do acting anywhere but if you're trying get into movies, you have to know somebody.

Either your agent can hook you up or you know somebody of importance in the business.

I'd say if at all possible to get to a convention or panel where you know a director or actor is going to be.

Apply for games shows, just getting on T.V. sometimes will get you in contact with a producer who can help.


Old Member
Aug 31, 2015
Uhh...I don't know you personally and I'm just going by what you've posted here, but I'm going to take a wild guess based on the things you've shared that you might be considered difficult to work with and/or you have so much baggage attached to you that hiring you could be a liability considering you've got a verfiable record of harassment, no contact orders, and the violation of said orders. You also seem to have an obsessive personality based on your Stallone post that may further complicate your efforts to get hired.

Best of luck to you in your pursuits, but based on what you've shared here acting may not be in the cards.


Old Member
Aug 31, 2015
I get it. My head is full of useless movie/TV trivia because that was my escape as a kid and my main area of interest. It's pretty much the only thing I can talk about with any authority because I was so immersed in it for so long. I could write a dissertation on Bill Murray, for example.
Jan 27, 2018
I also have a criminal record because I kept contacting women that used to be professional helpers for me, but we fell out after they overreacted to something. Basically, I am not allowed to message them, but I did, so I got put in jail a lot.
I’m trying not to be harsh here but maybe this is the reason?
Sep 7, 2015
Munich, Germany
Acting is tough to make a living off of just as every other form of art (e.g. music). A lot of it is not just skill and talent, but a large portion of luck. At least you've tried man, it was my dream ever since but i was too scared to actually pursue it. So be proud of yourself for that!
Jun 17, 2006
Well, Stallone is my favorite actor. He inspired me to get into films. But even he had a tough time for many a year, before he made Rocky.
That was back in the 70s man. Film making is a totally different business nowadays. There is a cool video on YT where a guys asks Robert Rodriguez if he thinks it's possible to get into film making the same way he did and he just laughs and casually mentions that "you have to do a lot more these days". And that was many years ago. Today it's probably a lot worse.

Growing up in the 90s with movies from Cameron and Spielberg it was my dream to get into this business all my youth but honestly.... seeing as what it has evolved into I'm glad I never had the balls to pursue that career. I imagine it being horrible to work in that environment. I mean, even well known actors/directors seem to be bound doing the same shit over and over again. See Vin Diesel who tried to do something else and now has probably accepted doing Fast & Furious until the end of days. Or Michael Bay with Transformers. Stallone himself is back to basically only doing Rocky and Rambo. Arnold doing Terminator and (supposedly) Conan again with 60+. What the fuck? And you could go on and on. I doubt that this is really something these guys truly want. There are maybe a handful of people still able to do something interesting and still being paid well enough for it but I'd say those are very rare.
Mar 9, 2014
I don't want to put you off but I shared a flat with a couple of professionally trained stage actors and they had a really hard time getting acting work. It's a highly competitive industry and as you know your criminal background almost guarantees that no major studio or production company will hire you. The most rewarding thing you could do is forget about trying to become a movie star and look for a local drama club or classes that you can join. That way you'll remove the pressures of trying to achieve these unrealistic goals. You'll learn and gain experience in a casual, friendlier environment, and it'll make you a much happier person.
May 23, 2016
You need a support worker to go to an acting class, and you want to be a movie star?
That's like being in a wheel chair and thinking you can win the 100m sprint.

You sound like a pretty messed up individual, with what seems like a history of harassing women (I don't know if you follow the news, but that's not particularly fashionable right now).
Rather than aiming for stardom, maybe just aim for a stable job and a few friends.

I put my vote in give up on acting, maybe keep it as a hobby if you love it.
Jan 27, 2018
People on social media don't request that information.
But it’d come up in a background check, right? When someone’s considering hiring you for a part.

I'm gonna tell you it to you straight: I don't see how you could possibly pursue acting when you say things like this --

And I hardly go out much any more, because of having anxious thoughts. Plus, I don't even like getting my shopping delivered to my door any more, as I get anxiety so intense when I see a stranger.
I'm sure most actors experience stage fright. But this sounds like a particularly debilitating anxiety that would make such a career almost impossible.

Also, you need to stop blaming social services for everything. Providing you with your dream career is not in their job description.

But then there's still the issue where social services are being awkward and no one is helping me....]I just wanted someone to go with me to a film set when I required support for that [irregular] activity. But since they fund the support, they think they have the say. Jesus Christ!
I suspect that to some extent, social workers do have the say. But regardless, don't expect assistance from that quarter. You need friends or family to rely on instead. And maybe ones that can direct you toward work more suited to your particular challenges and proclivities.
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Likes: dionysus
Jan 18, 2017
You don’t have to be the best actor to make it, you can see plenty of ok actors who do commercials, or tv shows or even Netflix/Hulu specials, it’s mainly about who you know and how good of a relationship you can have with that person of power. You might have to play nice an kiss up to get into position if you really want it. Also that messaging someone when you shouldn’t have could’ve messed up your chances. I say it’s either you have to look at all different type of roles that’s not extras or do something else as it might not be ment for you to act.
Sep 4, 2018
all i can say is don't give up. you never know when your break is going to come. lots of famous actors, painters, musicians, and artists didn't even start until they were old. Leonard Cohen released his first album at 33.
Jan 31, 2012
Ok, so most of these replies are from people not in the industry. The only good advice I saw was to get involved in local theatre. Become a stage hand, help construct sets. Do anything and everything you can if you’re actually serious. It sounds like you’re waiting around for other people to do the work for you. Has the industry changed? Absolutely! No longer do you need to move to LA, NYC, GA. Most of the casting is done via ‘uploads’. Get professional headshots, you should have 2 distinct looks. One ‘commercial’ the other ‘theatrical’. Don’t cheap out on them, they are an investment and you have to understand how you will book because you have to convey that through the headshot. Next is demo reels or clips, again you need these to be professionally done. Using your iPhone will get you passed over. CDs have 100s of auditions to go through, make a 30 second reel and make sure it stands out. Lastly let’s talk about agents. You get one, great. You have to do 80% of the work starting out. They don’t give a shit about you, to them you’re a commodity. If you happen to book a spot and you’re non-union, you’re not making a lot of money. Let’s say you make 2k for a day or 2 of filming. The agent only receives $200 for that job. Not much incentive. You keep grinding, self submit. Show the agent you’re serious. Book jobs yourself, they are more likely to keep you on because they don’t need to do a thing. Slowly you become better, you’ll book more, now you’ve got their attention. Good agents are amazing, but it’s a business relationship. Why would anyone put in effort for someone that just sits back and waits for the phone to ring? Join Actor’s Access and Backstage. Most D C and B level agents receive the same sides as those sites. Again, know how you will book, if your agent is submitting you for a role thats casting for a 6’5” tattooed wrestler type, they don’t have your best interests (unless that’s how you actually look). They are throwing shit against to wall to see what sticks. If you’re serious about it, you’ll have to invest a lot into yourself. If you’re making excuses, you’re not ready. To the person that said don’t read books, you’re giving terrible unsolicited advice.

EDIT- I apologize, you said not to JUST read books on just acting. I agree, I apparently didn’t read your post correctly.

As a working actor, I’m developing my craft everyday. I find different books, see what methods work and which don’t. This is a professional industry like any other. If you’re not bettering yourself by reading, studying and failing then it’s just a hobby. There is nothing wrong with it being a hobby, in fact I think considering your situation, you should approach it like that. There is less pressure and you may accidentally by process become a better actor by surrounding yourself with them.

EDIT-Join Facebook, there are a lot of groups that focus on helping actors. Also, most colleges/universities have up and coming student directors that need actors for their films. You may not get paid, but you will get exposure. NEVER PAY ANYONE FOR REPRESENTATION OR TO HAVE A PART IN A FILM.
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Apr 13, 2018
You need a support worker to go to an acting class, and you want to be a movie star?
That's like being in a wheel chair and thinking you can win the 100m sprint.

You sound like a pretty messed up individual, with what seems like a history of harassing women (I don't know if you follow the news, but that's not particularly fashionable right now).
Rather than aiming for stardom, maybe just aim for a stable job and a few friends.

I put my vote in give up on acting, maybe keep it as a hobby if you love it.
That's not exactly true. Those women were told a pack of lies beforehand, so they bought into that and just changed, but I was scared to speak out. After that, their bosses said they were still supposed to support me, but they lied so I didn't get instantly mad. There was also a different worker unrelated to those two, who pretended to know my ex. She was out of my life for years and I waited up to 7 years to get to see her again. Anyway, she basically pressured me into getting her stuff like an iPod. The guy who kidded on he knew her sent me emails with a false name, but he admitted it was him and either departed willingly, or got sacked.

In general, none or very little support workers, have any qualifications and I think they just do it as a way of making fast money. But I'd imagine that in cases where someone is caught doing this type of abuse, they would get barred from all care work.

I've never heard of any actors in Edinburgh receiving payment for film work. Why do you think they fund their projects through Indiegogo and Kickstarter? They don't even have the available funding to begin with!

In one case, somebody attempted to scam me once. He made a short film after I pledged £100 to be an extra. That seems a lot for a short film, but it's true.


He claimed he changed it from a donation to a perk, when it was never a donation, and somebody or something I said must have convinced him not to hire me. He said he didn't know who marked the film as completed on IMDb either, so he was probably not being honest. I'm sure he was lying to me, because he kept saying there was editing issues and 2 months had gone by where he never contacted me at all. He refunded my money and said he had a part written for me, but because I questioned the authenticity of this, he got mad. And this was just for to receive a part as an extra in a short film called Glitch. The director is from Edinburgh too.
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Jan 31, 2012
Ok, so I watched your clips. I don’t know if I’d say they were a series, more like a YouTube skit? It honestly wasn’t bad. I think you have a distinct look and who doesn’t love a Scotsman going off on a tirade or being loud. It’s funny! You have something, and that’s better than 95% of the people claiming they are actors. Find like minded individuals to help nurture your artistic sense. The biggest thing is accepting and showing vulnerability, without that, you’ll never be true to yourself and your acting will suffer. Fix your life along with improving your talent. I just finished a series. I thought I was terrible, I was in my head too much. When it aired, you realize that post has your back. You flub a line but kill the next one, they just cut them together. Once you start working on that aspect as well, you just have to take people’s word that you did a good job. There’s a huge divide about staying true to the script and playing around with it. Some writers get a hair across their ass if you aren’t true to the script (we aren’t talking about theatre, never go off script if you’re doing a known play). On the other hand, sometimes as an actor you run into awkward dialogue that doesn’t work because the writer didn’t write the line specifically for you. Most good writers will work with you if you approach it the right way. No matter what any actor says, there is a tiny part of themselves in the character they portray. Daniel Day Lewis May be the exception to this rule. This is the same concept as a painter signing their painting. It’s that piece of them they leave behind that is incorporated into their vision. Ok, you made some bad decisions, put it in the past. Don’t have regrets. You can do anything and fail, might as well fail at trying to do something you love.
Dec 18, 2010
washington d.c.
I’m no actor but I can relate to doing something creative and not seeing much return from it. However I’m driven to to do it on a personal level, and hope success will be an eventual byproduct of that.

I think any creative pursuit is kind of the same in that way. You have to have a personal drive and belief that you have something special. If it was all about getting paid I would have set down the art supplies a long time ago.
Nov 12, 2018
I'm going to be the asshole here. Here's the honest truth; at least mine. Even as a non professional amateur actor/filmmaker, your videos sucks.

Back in 2010, in the early Youtube days, young Youtubers like nigahiga were doing sketches, skits and small story videos with comedy and humor. He was using a cheap phone, filming his shots in his badly lit bedroom, yet he gained million of views and followers because he had one thing: CHARISMA.


This is how Youtubers, no matter what they talk about (games, movie reviews, beauty products review) get people following them and watching their stuff. Charisma isn't about being ''atrractive'' or having pretty face, it's about being INTERESTING. Interesting to look at, to hear, to see acting with interesting manners, quirks and etc.


This is how actors get spotted, refereed to and hired!

I've watched your stuff, you HAVE ZERO OF IT, mate.

I missed out on a lot of opportunities to be in local films, because of the following reasons. I could have been in probably 20 or so films by now, had I:

-I had someone to go with me, like a support worker.
-I didn't have anxiety issues.
If you have anxiety and social issues, you've fucked yourself over 60% in the film industry. You NEED to get acquainted to people in the industry, need to broaden your network, get used to talk and concinvce people you're the shit at what you're doing.

Also wtf at:

I'd even tried doing my own series (that I shot with an iPhone in my hand) and not one person really cared, because I am not a terrific actor and I don't have any knowledge of how to go about setting up fancy equipment either. ''
You don't have acting skills, never studied it seriously, never went online to get help from acting communities and you wonder why you suck?

I think the world has gotten so "mainstream" and everybody is so stuck up these days, that the very mention of you doing something fun, or productive like this, just gets them acting like you're not important. Yet they never see me as important anyway. It's like anybody can do that, so it's not interesting enough that you reveal you've did that. So when you say you've been in movies, it never gets people curious any longer.
I'm working in an artistic field that I really adore but people don't give a shit about that either. Truth be told, until you make it big and make millions out of what youre doing, people don't care about your job bro. That's life...

I've not even had support from social services in a long time to do a thing in general, because the social worker I had was jerking me off over the past 3 years and he ended my care package without notifying me about that, and I just wanted someone to go with me to a film set..
Did I read this wrong?

Put more work in it or give up...
Passion and envy is never enough to reach our dreams.
This also applies to me. I can see a bit of myself in your post and realized I need to make drastic changes in myself, despite the work I put in reaching my goals.
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Jan 9, 2018
Listen to DeathKitten.

As for the videos, which I barely watched because I don't have much time:
- If you're the owner of the channel, you're probably going to play Stephen King one day
- stabilize and colorize. I'm pretty sure the free version of DaVinci can do the colours at least. Even a basic colorization pass helps a ton. The hard thing is to learn colour theory, not the actual software work. As for the shaky look - handheld camera shake blows, especially when it's a phone. Automatic cheap look! There are various phone stabilizers. Shooting in high resolution can help, won't get rid of the big motion artifacts but you can stabilize the shit out of a 4K shot if you bring it down to 2K - as long as you frame it so stabilization doesn't cut anything. The opposite is true: you can shake it like salt if it's stable and high-res. If you're watching something from the past five years they probably gave it the Authentic Handheld Look in post :)

Trust me, using cameras and editing software is not difficult. Lighting and colour theory are difficult. You can absolutely train yourself to do them all. The one thing film school offers that you can't do yourself is a network, but even that can be solved!

Start with the phone, progress to a decent DSLR, then film weddings or stuff like that when you're comfortable enough. Offer your services to colleges and universities - in my experience students will be forever happy and grateful for your help (either acting or technical) and you can build a network. Even theatres need people to film their play for festival submissions and reviews. Oh and sound work is a highly sought after thing - even a fucking boom operator is priceless. I know a guy who trained to be editor but makes a fuckton of money as boom operator and all he gotta do is be organized, keep that shit out of the frame and clean the audio up a bit.

When I first opened Premiere half a decade ago it was terrifying, like four Photoshops at the same time. However, the average MMO is significantly more difficult to wrap your head around...
Apr 13, 2018
OK. This is my last bump. What do you think of this person's correspondence with me?

Guy Evans Actor
Guy Evans Actor 2 March 14:36
hi peter.

really sorry to read about the hassle you've received. i can't really help much from this distance and i'm not a professional counsellor or expert on autism, or anti-trolling.

the online world is a nest of vipers as you no doubt are aware, full of sad people who enjoy wasting their time making other people miserable. stephen fry's exit from twitter is a good example of how even someone who is universally loved even gets abuse. trolls love nothing more than picking on vulnerable people. therefore can i suggest that you reduce your online activities to only essentials, such as emails and official contacts, temporarily at least? trolls will get bored of looking for you and move onto their next victim. new pseudonyms don't help as IP addresses etc can be cross-referenced and you real identity found out. regarding ex-support workers giving you hassle, report them to local authorities for whom they worked, if you can, though i understand if you feel this not a good idea.

just so you know, I also suffer from mental illness - anxiety and depression - though not autism, so agoraphobic tendencies have been part of it from time to time. so please seek professional help, not from social services but from the medical profession. counselling is a good start. there are many NHS based free to use mental health support services across the UK so im sure there's some in edinburgh. mental illness is treatable even if there is another different underlying issue, in you case autism, there too. too often social services treat people like 'problems to be managed' not people, and 'autism' is a catch-all term which can be used to dismiss a person's specific and sometime unrelated behaviour which need specific treatment. so, find a good counselling service. MIND is a good start as they'll know who can help.

re acting - it's a harsh world out there for people trying to make it and having an online profile on Star Now isn't the way to go about it if you are getting trolled already. Star Now isn't really very good tbh and attracts lots of shallow types both as actors and producers. instead if you'd like to do some acting try a local amateur dramatic society. Im sure there are several in edinburgh. try getting small roles, at first, so you can be a part of something without having to prove you're brilliant, then if you like it and do well you can audition for larger roles. or just ask to help with the production backstage. all hands are generally welcome as there's always lots to do.

doing a play is far more fun tbh than doing short films and extra work and the social side of things might be a help to you; they are to me when i'm down. plays are language-based and even small roles tend to have lines to say and so for me they've helped me come out of myself when i'm depressed as i HAVE to speak out loud even if i don't want to! lol. in all theatre a much more friendly environment and full of people who want to act. most, if not all actors, are lonely, shy, somewhat unusual and have difficulty fitting into society. so you might find an amateur dramatic society has a more welcoming atmosphere than film, and certainly than online. am dram also tends to attract people who like you are feeling lonely, and have found other social avenues too problematic for whatever reason. it is a bit of a haven for misfits, and lots of older people who are usually more sympathetic to people with difficulties - lots of retired teachers for example - and are also not online as much. stage acting is different but can be hugely rewarding on all levels, artistically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. film is a lonely world even if you're doing well in it. very few short films have many actors in them so often you're on your own surrounded by technical crew

back to trolls and the internet... try and online life alone for a while and see if you can find 'real' things to do, rather than online things. go for a walk and have a cup of tea at a nice cafe, go to an art gallery, the cinema. doing things and activity is great balm for a troubled mind.

I hope that helps. I'm going to close down my actor page next week as my new agent says it's bit dodgy having a 'professional acting' facebook page for non-friends as i too might get unwanted attention from people.

Guy Evans

Re: Screw Joanna Sharp and Sara De Las Heras...
Sun, 16 Dec 2018 16:49
Guy Evans guyevans6@gmail.comHide
To pandersonactor pandersonactor@aol.co.uk
you have contacted me many times after i asked you to stop and after i blocked you. that means i do not want to be contacted by you. i gave you advice because you asked me for some. that advice still stands but i am not, repeat NOT, your friend, confident, advisor, counsellor or anything other than a person who you met ONCE that was it. ! i cant even remember talking to you as i was busy on set. yet you seem to think it okay to send me emails, facebook messages, videos. i do not want them. as you know i have blocked you many times on social media yet you still persist sending me messages. i do wish you well but i am not prepared to be contacted by you any more as it simply a waste of my time dealing with you. it is also, i suggest, a waste of your time too as i cannot and will not ever be able to help you. you do yourself no favours contacting people who have already told you not to. so please, kindly do not contact me again.

On Sun, 16 Dec 2018 at 15:21, pandersonactor <pandersonactor@aol.co.uk> wrote:

You gave me decent advice once, so I'll be decent with you. Quit being a huge asshole. I've never even caused you any grief, whatsoever.

-----Original Message-----
From: Guy Evans <guyevans6@gmail.com>
To: pandersonactor <pandersonactor@aol.co.uk>
Sent: Sun, 16 Dec 2018 10:26
Subject: Re: Screw Joanna Sharp and Sara De Las Heras...

do not EVER contact me again.

On Sun, 16 Dec 2018 at 04:35, pandersonactor <pandersonactor@aol.co.uk> wrote:

Apr 13, 2018
I have basically been on bunches of Resident Evil forums since 2003. And for over 15 years, it's just been shit talk after shit talk, via trolls...

In general, I have went off the series quite a bit. It's not just because I've wasted my time dealing with idiots for well over a decade...

If you've been a fan for years, and you've seen a franchise go to pot, then you can either stay, be harassed, or just no longer care...

Apr 13, 2018
Oh, that's Frank, who I met in college back in 2008.

I actually had an idea in mind for another short horror film.

It won't be linked to "The Dulvey Saga" though; I think that series has run its course, and it was okay, I suppose, but poorly executed!

Fuck Jane Armstrong, Connal Tolmie, Nicolette McKeown, Heather Brown, Graham Fitzpatrick, Tim-Fraser Granados and Brian Robinson.

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Jul 24, 2018
My ignorant picture of the acting industry is that, even if you're a dude, you basically have to start sucking some dicks if you want to get anywhere. I mean, how many names can you think of that ultimately didn't put their heels behind their head at some point?

It's either that or they had family already in the industry. Humans are actually all pretty much the same and predictable. They look out for their own and tribe up. The only way to bypass that is to bust out the cock suck.