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if Nature turned every animal against us would we survive?

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xelios said:
And a (relatively) big penis!
Someone needs to bring out that male duck picture.

I've been thinking about this and the more I think about it, the more Ithink I would just worry about the big stuff...and birds.

The entirety of bugs would actually be able to make it to their enemies. I would still worry about bees and wasps, but I'm pretty sure I could take on some ants as long as they were the Amazonian ones that were in Crystal Skull.
 
The sloths would lull us into a false sense of security, then overrun our already decimated population.

This is a really silly topic, since even if they were on a mission to kill us, they don't have the good sense to avoid each other.
 
I hope this scenario (average chimp vs greatest human fighter in the world) happens someday, because judging from these ridiculous responses, I'd become a millionaire in short order by putting all my money on the human.
 
ViperVisor said:
There are as much ants pound for pound as humans.

We would be screwed if you stopped there.
This is my poblem with the scenario.

If nature turned against us, would they still actually act like themselves? Ants are all about cooperation, so not all of them could attack at once.

Most insects would probably just gross us out in large quantities.
 
Insects wouldn't stand a chance. We have pesticides which can kill them by the trillions. We'd have armies of crop dusters in the air spraying day and night. We'd make insects our bitches before they knew what happened.
 
And those pesticides are absolutely harmless to humans, right? Especially spraying day and night. :lol
 
Tapiozona said:
Insects wouldn't stand a chance. We have pesticides which can kill them by the trillions. We'd have armies of crop dusters in the air spraying day and night. We'd make insects our bitches before they knew what happened.

What would happen right now if all the insects in the world wanted to kill you? Would you have seen it coming :lol
 
xelios said:
And those pesticides are absolutely harmless to humans, right? Especially spraying day and night. :lol
Plus I would assume this would be a surprise attack. But then I could just run away. I imagine if I fall though it's over...
xelios said:
Ew, yeah, but I was talking about primates.
Superiority regained.
 
Tapiozona said:
Your argument is completely one sided and doesn't take into account that humans are also everywhere already and would be just as ready to strike, only with weapons. Other than domesticated animals, there really aren't that many large mammal/reptile populations in the wild. So we'd be looking at an army of cats, dogs and cows. The cows who herd would be EASY targets since they're cows and stupid and carpet bombing would literally kill millions of them instantly.

Cats are too small to really do any damage unless they're in packs and even then a pack of humans > pack of cats. Sure a single kitty or two may scratch me up pretty bad, but the moment i grab hold of one, its instant kitty death.

I'd say dogs would be our biggest threat but even then, half of all dogs are little yipper dogs and they'd die quick. Not having opposable thumbs would be their downfall. Most dogs would be stuck in houses or yards and it'd simply be a matter of going house to house with guns to win that fight.

Ya, humans would win, and fairly easy.

Think about it..a car is literally a one man indestructible killing machine against pretty much any animal. Imagine a tank. A single tank could wipe out every animal in africa given enough time.

stupid_avatar.gif
 
Tapiozona said:
Insects wouldn't stand a chance. We have pesticides which can kill them by the trillions. We'd have armies of crop dusters in the air spraying day and night. We'd make insects our bitches before they knew what happened.
The amount of pesticides needed would kill off most humans too. Not to mention the insects immune to the pesticide would reproduce and come in even greater numbers in a few weeks.
 
Pesticides are already sprayed on just about every single thing you eat so I doubt it would make that much more of a difference if they sprayed areas outside of farm land.

They may not be great for you, but there are pesticides which aren't lethal to humans.
 
Tapiozona said:
Pesticides are already sprayed on just about every single thing you eat so I doubt it would make that much more of a difference if they sprayed areas outside of farm land.

They may not be great for you, but there are pesticides which aren't lethal to humans.

It's because insects tend to be smaller mammals than humans isn't it.
 
Speevy said:
If you just stayed in your home, you'd avoid almost all the animals. The rest could be gassed.

I'm picturing this being a situation like The Birds, where animals are actively seeking out and attacking humans with rage induced fury. I hope your home is a bunker! :lol
 
We'd be done for, quickly.

There is no declaration of war.

They'd first send waves of insects, to maul our food supplies. That's pretty much it.

Humanity would go into a panic, finishing the job for them.

We are still our worst enemy.
 
I'm more scared of the Dolphins. They could rise from the sea and become land-faring creatures, and enslave the human race!
 
This thing would have to be taped. Drop-kicking aardvarks out the window, pigs running into doors, jaguars stuck in the toilet, oh man. :lol
 
Spiders. I can deal with any other animal or horde of animals with relative terror but spiders out to kill is a whole new level of terrifying. You're safe nowhere from them, not even in your dreams. They are what it is to be Satan.
 
According to estimates, the total mass of termites on this earth is ten times the total mass of the human population.

Termites alone could crush us.
 
Puddles said:
I hope this scenario (average chimp vs greatest human fighter in the world) happens someday, because judging from these ridiculous responses, I'd become a millionaire in short order by putting all my money on the human.

Well, now someone needs to get a chimp really, really angry at Brock Lesnar.

(A chimp familiar with MMA regulations, that is.)
 
Speevy said:
We could develop high frequency sirens that could deafen all the animals with sensitive hearing.

Develop? In where? All the facilities and plants are overrun in 5 minutes from the moment the war begins. All machinery clogged, all highways useless.
 
zoukka said:
Develop? In where? All the facilities and plants are overrun in 5 minutes from the moment the war begins. All machinery clogged, all highways useless.


Well I didn't think this comment was so controversial that it warranted your banning.
 
We wouldn't last very long... or we'd blow ourselves up in the process of trying to survive.

If you include things like Fungi (which are actually more related to animals than plants) and bacteria, we would stand absolutely no chance.
 
MrHicks said:
insects cannot be fully destroyed
over several generations (couple of weeks in insect terms lol) they evolve resistances to every pesticide you use on them

example
1) pesticide "antkill" is used

2) 99% out of a billion ants are killed by it 1 % is somehow immune

3) the offspring of that 1% get the immune trait from their parents and in no time you have another billion ants who don't give a fuck about "antkill"

4) develop something else-----------------------> and back to step 2 until infinity

I'll enjoy tangling with the ant that is immune to fire.
 
Why does everyone assume the animals will cooperate with each other?

These super-destructive insects also kill each other, right? Imagine if they were out in the open. They'd do the work for us.
 
House pets would destroy a bunch of us as we slept...

where is that thread on the guy who wanted to buy the deadly scorpion? :lol
 
Speevy said:
Why does everyone assume the animals will cooperate with each other?

These super-destructive insects also kill each other, right? Imagine if they were out in the open. They'd do the work for us.
The original scenario was "animals attacking people".

You're trying to change it to "animals attacking people or maybe not since they're attacking each other" which is actually a more boring topic.
 
Lance Bone Path said:
The original scenario was "animals attacking people".

You're trying to change it to "animals attacking people or maybe not since they're attacking each other" which is actually a more boring topic.


You may think it's boring, but when the bears are waving the rhinos on as battering rams, you're going to wish there was some internal conflict.
 
This chimp vs mma fighter debate is hilarious. Its like the plane on a treadmill debate.

my money is on the chimp...who would then proceed to fly off into the sunset on said plane
 
Speevy said:
You may think it's boring, but when the bears are waving the rhinos on as battering rams, you're going to wish there was some internal conflict.

Then I one-shot the rhino with a high powered rifle to the head.

Mammals are really the least of human's worry. If anything they're the easiest things to kill off. Birds may be a problem until humanity gets organized. Insects, sure, but again, pesticides and almost every home owner, at least in the US, has some sort of pesticide in their garage.

Even with insects, its only the flying ones that you'd have to worry about if theres a 'surprise attack'. Walking insects are too slow to really do all that much. If ants started swarming I could jog for 30 seconds and it would take them 2 days to catch up.
 
I think what it boils down to ultimately is we "control" fire so we would win the war, sure there may be casualties but if it came down to it anyone fucking with us could be taken down.

I think using pesticides etc is cheating and if you say "we'll just poison all the fuckers" you could also say "they'll infect us all with an incurable contagious disease overnight"

All animals could do at this stage was stealth attacks, snakes spiders, insects creeping up on us etc would be bad. But bee's and hornets? Although badass they're eaisly avoidable and their hives are generally extremely vulnerable to devastation. Also ineffective in water.

If they were to become organised and be able to lay siege to a sealed room or ambush you and so on then they'd stand a chance. But honestly humans are too many for bee's/hornets alone to take down. They couldnt even manage a village imo.

I cant imagine any animal/insect being able to wipe out an entire city with milions of people.
 
sarcastor said:
starshiptroopers13153.jpg


now replace every insect here with a hippo, elephant, tiger, bear, woodchuck, etc. and imagine how fast you would die.

I see your attack and I counter with...



Looks like human kind will be eating well tonight.
 
Speevy said:
You may think it's boring, but when the bears are waving the rhinos on as battering rams, you're going to wish there was some internal conflict.
That right there is a blockbuster.
 
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