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I'm a lonely old gamer

Age has nothing to do with it, I'm almost 38 and here I am, with friends and girlfriend who game daily. You just need to meet more people with your interests. Depending on where you live that might be easier or harder. Try gaming clubs (check if your university has one), conventions, etc. If all else fails don't be ashamed to use online meeting sites, not just for women but friends as well.
 
You are not old, OP. Giddy up!
 
Wait a sec...since when is 32 old? I was expecting 50s or 60s before coming into the thread lol. Relax man. Also, quality over quantity when it comes to friends.
 
I feel kinda like the OP here. I am also in my early 30s and don't have any friends who play games, though I don't really want to play games with people because I am not into multiplayer games in general I would love to have someone to talk about games and game news with. Basically I am jealous of podcasters.
 
Lol man you need to put the game pad down and look at some local interest groups you could possibly go to if your feeling down man?

If you had to write this post then maybe time to head out there and go make yourself happy again?
 
Since when is 31 old? Old is 50+ and not a number below that. And that's for now, when we extend our lifespans then old will be more than that.

Well some avenues to meet new gamer friends would be gaf and gaming expos. Maybe find some gaming clubs as well. No way around one thing though, you have to be more extroverted.

I kind of know how you feel even though I'm only 19, but very few of my friends play games that I like to play or play games at all. Doesn't matter to me, I can play at home and chill with them doing other things later. Of course I'd prefer to do both, but it is what it is.
 
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time, but I believe a big factor is your own outlook. Now, I really hope you don't take offense from this, but it sounds like you are somewhat clingy, or at the very least expecting too much out of friendships. People can like you, and like spending time with you, but you can't expect that to mean they will go out of their way to do things for you, etc...This isn't to say that you can't forge meaningful connections with people that go above casual friendship, but it's not going to happen with everyone you start talking too.
 
Hear, hear!

IXqXPAe.jpg


But you're not old, game on!
 
Chin up OP.

I'm 29 and game as much as I can get away with (having 3 kids with my wife has put a dent into my gaming time)

I have friends my own age who I game with on the PS4 and we also have the occasional lan party where we'll go full retro on the original Xboxes or ps1 or ps2.

On the other hand I have a workmate who is 42 years old and we play adhoc on our vitas pretty much everyday on our lunch breaks.

My friends and my workmate also enjoy other games that don't really appeal to me as well so we just find the games that suit us as and when. Some of introverted individuals others not so much but gaming is gaming.

The introduction of console online gaming has bought both good and bad sides to gaming - I tend to avoid COD as there are a lot of idiots talking trash down the microphone, I tend to favour co-op based games where teamwork is key, earth defence force is a niche game but I've never come across a bad person online with that game. Left 4 dead used to be great too but I find that nowadays one mistake and you get kicked which is unfair for the more casual gamer.

Anyway don't give up gaming, you'll find a game you can enjoy and you'll also find like minded people who are similar to your personality who you can game with
 
Ah this made me sad. Before I read all the other replies, I'll just say, man, life is cruel and hard. I emigrated shortly after my 30th birthday, and my life is, on the outside, sooo much better. Old friends say I have a paradise now, but boy if I don't feel like that. You gotta learn to love yourself first but I don't mean be selfish, I mean be positive. My own paradise might get burnt down (metaphorically, mind) within a few years as I feel like I'm living a hell. Do your best and hope for change. I wish you luck.
 
Chris_C said:
I don't think 31 is classified as "old," though yes, you're getting older.

I just turned 33 myself and am in a similar boat. I went to art school, decided I wasn't good enough to do it professionally and sort of drifted for a bit. I ran a website called QJ.net for a bit, but when management decided upon a direction I didn't like, I left.

Found myself working in marketing ...
Click to expand...

Holy crap. You're me.
 
Man, since I was 25 I only play by myself. Never had a group nerdy enough, hence most of my accomplishments I share here on Gaf.

And my GF is a non-gamer, and that is such a bummer for me. I even bough a WiiU hoping we could play together, but she just does it for five minutes to make me happy and then let me play by myself... just like my sex life.
 
If you are lonely, I would say put the games down and try something else. It doesn't get easier to meet people and make friends the older you get. We are close in age, and I really wish I spent less of my life gaming. Christ, what a fucking waste.
 
I'm 31 next month, about to lose my current job next week (joys).

I'm the lonely old gamer.

Until I find gainful employment in the (hopefully) near future.

In the meantime I'll play as many games as I can. Until my friends get home from work that is.
 
43 here, still gaming and don't feel the slightest bit old. Been gaming since before a lot of you on here were born and have loved growing up and seeing the different generations come and go. Married a gamer, my kids love gaming, so I'm quite content with my lot :)
 
nothing wrong with being a solo gamer, heck there are still AAA solo games being made, but if it makes you feel bad playing alone then you should definitely do something about it. Pick a social game meet some people. It's pretty easy with games like FFXIV:RR or monster hunter.
 
You're certainly not old.

I'm 42 and don't feel old, married with two kids. I've essentially seen and played it all, feel privileged. Still going strong, bring it on, don't see myself ever stopping.
 
In my opinion, videogames do not build friendships at all...

I've never played games with other people and had a good experience, it always ended in us fighting over stupid stuff, and breaking off friendships for ridiculous reasons. I like to play games solo, and I've never been one to be into multiplayer...I always feel like one person will be more into the game than the rest, and it'll just end up being a situation where everyone else is bored and wanting to do something else. Whenever I see how multiplayer functions are implemented in newer games, I cringe and wonder if anyone actually can find friends who want to play the multiplayer mode long enough for it to be worthwhile.

I like talking about videogames with other people, but playing them? That's never really been fun for me. I know it's a weird hang-up, but I just don't think videogames are a good social activity. I'd rather just grab some drinks and watch television honestly, because that's a casual situation where everyone is at an equal level and no one's sort of "owning" the activity.
 
Stealth_Cobra said:
I think gaming alone can only take you so far in life...

At some point, even the most hardcore gamer must face the harsh fact that he needs to interact with people, have life goals and find some sort of meaning to be fulfilled in life ... And while I can't provide a solution that fits all, I think soul searching and finding exactly what ticks the right boxes for you is a must to feel like you're in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right moment. For me ,it was going into the game industry, but I can see how it's not for everyone and I think the most important is to take the time to question yourself and understand what truly motivates you and what you want to do with your life.
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Well put.
 
Elandyll said:
31? Old?

:laughs:

I'm 43 my friend, and it's game on! (Well, when the whole family thing with 2 young kids allow. Fortunately my wife is also a -responsible- gamer).

There is an ID exchange thread on Gaf I think?

Maybe try that, the kind of games you're into, and see where it goes.

More locally, maybe there are some internet/ gaming cafes around where you live?

Haven't seen one of these in a while though.
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Same here! I'm 43 and married with two sons 14 and 12. My wife actually bought me a PS4 bundle off QVC for father's day last year. :)

Grew up playing the Atari 2600, Vectrex, Colecovision, Intellivision....ah the memories!

Heck, my mom is 61 and plays multiplayer Halo on the Xbox 360(and she's freaking great at it!!!) (I'm going to surprise her with a PS4 this July)

So to the original poster, you're not old nor alone. Have fun!
 
I'm 32, and I'm beginning to think that I'm just becoming the curmudgeon that is 'the old man'. Instead of shouting 'get off my lawn', I'm here saying, "Give me the days back where games weren't pushed out prematurely just because they could be patched after the fact! Give me back the days where microtransactions and DLC weren't a common factor in most games!" I just want to game without having updates downloading nearly every time I turn on my consoles... to just be able to game without all the other technical strings attached.

Also, like the OP, I don't have a lot of friends who just LOVE to game... at least in my local area. I've always sort of gamed on my own as a result, meaning I never really got into the Smash Bros. scene back when it became a thing on the N64.

So, between not having many friends to actually game with and the divide I'm feeling between my age group and those coming up from the generation behind me - because they'll often tell me I'm a dinosaur and 'that's just the way things are, get used to them grandpa' - I feel like a lonely gamer at times, too.

But once in a while I get the reminder that nothing says I HAVE to always be gaming on the latest consoles ALL the time. Nope, I can always plug in the NES, SNES, N64, Gamecube, PS3, Xbox 360, or play on my Gameboy Advance SP. There's an entire life time - my life time, that is - of games at my disposal, and I don't have to feel pigeon holed. I know I enjoy single player more often than not. I know that sometimes I want to escape to retro gaming. So... I do.

It's pretty therapeutic to escape back to some of the classics on occasions.
 
For age, I think of age as a mindset. I think that is why OP feels old, even though he is only 40% through his life.

Do you have a list of all the things you want to do in life? How far are you in that list? You only live for so long, and those things are easier to do when you are younger.

Regarding loneliness, I think most people know this, but to repeat - the older you get, the more difficult it is to meet people. You are at a school with younger people. School is one of the best places to meet people. Take advantage of it! Talk and meet other people. Learn what they are passionate about or what they want to do.

All relationships take work. And anyone can stop a relationship at any time. You said others have mentioned you get under their skin. Why? I think every person can improve themselves at any time. It sounds like there is room for self improvement, and how you relate to other people. This is a life long process that is different with each person.

Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself.

If want things to be different, then you need to work to change that. Don't think that will be easy. You'll likely have to break your current patterns, try new things constantly and just keep searching. You may never find it, but working towards your goals is way more rewarding than sitting back and accepting it.
 
Mid-twenties guy here and thought I'd just drop by to share my thoughts on the matter.

I've been gaming since I was like five years old and I don't ever intend to stop as long as gaming continues to be entertaining. It's more than a hobby for me because it's been such a huge part of my life growing up.

I really don't think you can get "too old" for gaming because it isn't like sports where people actually must retire early because of their bodies not being able to take it. Oh, and try to always make time to go to the gym or out for a morning run because exercise is good for staying healthy.
 
OP I say this with absolutely no malice in my voice, but I don't think your age or your inability to find people to play video games with should be the focus of your concern.

After reading your posts in this thread I think it's pretty clear you are depressed and have some serious social interaction issues to tackle. You should seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist about how to overcome those problems. I know it sounds lame, but it can help man. Give it a try. Or if you already are, you should think about getting a different one.
 
The age doesn't matter at all. Don't let that deter you.


I'm 35. I've found a way (daily struggle) to juggle MMOs, single player games, a 10yo, and my wife. (As well as a job that pays well.)



Anyway. Just keep going at it.. there isn't a point where you reach old. The way I look at it, if you are in your early 30's., then you are not even at the halfway point yet.


Stand tall, make shit happen.
 
33 years old here and still love to play game. I mostly play single player game because the internet infrastructure here is not that good yet. So, cheer up OP. The world is big enough for you to explore.
 
TheFatMan said:
OP I say this with absolutely no malice in my voice, but I don't think your age or your inability to find people to play video games with should be the focus of your concern.

After reading your posts in this thread I think it's pretty clear you are depressed and have some serious social interaction issues to tackle. You should seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist about how to overcome those problems. I know it sounds lame, but it can help man. Give it a try. Or if you already are, you should think about getting a different one.
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I have to say I agree, but never outright said it. This really does sum it up perfectly though.
I will admit I am playing an armchair psychiatrist by saying this, but a few comments in particular stuck out.
OP you are in a funk. Do whatever you can to get yourself out of that funk.
 
39 years old, married with 3 kids, and a steady job - I still enjoy gaming as much as I did when I was younger. Don't worry man, just stick with what you love :)
 
I'm way younger than you and play completely alone. Granted me and my brother share the same interests and opinions but we rarely ever play together.
 
Elandyll said:
31? Old?

:laughs:

I'm 43 my friend, and it's game on! (Well, when the whole family thing with 2 young kids allow. Fortunately my wife is also a -responsible- gamer).

There is an ID exchange thread on Gaf I think?

Maybe try that, the kind of games you're into, and see where it goes.

More locally, maybe there are some internet/ gaming cafes around where you live?

Haven't seen one of these in a while though.
Click to expand...

My thoughts exactly! 40 here and gaming when I can!
 
saw this thread the other day and decided to make my first post in here. 38 year old nurse...working like a mofo, otherwise my downtime is spent between helldivers, evolve, cod:aw, gta5, fifa...

been gaming since care home days..pretty much kept me outta trouble. hope to game with some of you guys at some point. cya around fella's..
 
35, married, not a whole lot of friends (don't really need that many, same as you), play single player EXCLUSIVELY, and still gaming as hard as ever.
 
34 here and I don't have a lot of adult friends that game, but that's okay. I've corrupted my wife and son and as a result get to game often with family :)

I'm sure there are people in your area your age with your interests.. Just have to find them!
 
It has been pretty helpful to see I'm not completely alone, and that some of you at least know what it's like to be in my position. Thank you so much all of you, I still am overwhelmed by the response.

Some of you that have posted, do you have any friends that you can share your interest in games in? That's where I was starting to feel kinda lost completely when I made this. No one in my everyday life cares, so all I've had was this forum.

Seeing how nice everyone here has come out to be, if you have a steam account, please look me up and send me a friend request if you're interested:

http://steamcommunity.com/id/splendidcakes

I've had a few nice folks add me so far, but I wouldn't mind getting some more for those multiplayer games I never get to play.
 
Oh, this popped up again. I saw the thread on the weekend but did not have time to read or post, even if I felt I wanted to share my experience.

I am 31 years old, and I am a lonely gamer too. I don't have many close friends to begin with, and they do not play video games anymore. Most of them like to say they just don't have the time because they have kids. Sometimes it feels like they actually mean that they have reached the next level on "game of life" and don't care about video games anymore. Like when they say "I wish I had the time to play videogames like you do", I hear "Oh poor you still stuck in your youth, look at me I have moved on".

Me and my wife are still just the two of us (and a dog) and she works evening shifts quite a lot, so I have a lot of time on my hands. Between work, gym, household chores and taking care of the dog, I usually end up with at least two or three hours of free time every day. Also we moved into a different town to chase a job, and we left our friends behind in a geographical sense.

So I play games. Mostly alone, or with strangers or semi-strangers online. Here's the thing though. If I could, I would give away my huge amounts of free time to play video games, for not being so lonely and not having to live in an empty house for most nights.

edit:

Going to try to read most of the thread at some point. And OP, thanks for making this thread. I can relate to alot of what you are saying. Also, I realise that being married might not count as being really lonely. I am grateful of her, don't know what I would do if not for her. I quess we are a bit lonely together, me and her.
 
I'm 49 and enjoy playing games as much as I like watching movies, listening to music and reading books. And I don't plan to stop any of those things 'cause of «my age». Why would I? We like what we like and as far as I am concerned there are no age limit to enjoying one self.
Like you I don't have any gaming-friends at my age, but I do have a teenage son who shares my passion for all those things mentioned. And that is just wonderfull.
 
StaffyManasse said:
Oh, this popped up again. I saw the thread on the weekend but did not have time to read or post, even if I felt I wanted to share my experience.

I am 31 years old, and I am a lonely gamer too. I don't have many close friends to begin with, and they do not play video games anymore. Most of them like to say they just don't have the time because they have kids. Sometimes it feels like they actually mean that they have reached the next level on "game of life" and don't care about video games anymore. Like when they say "I wish I had the time to play videogames like you do", I hear "Oh poor you still stuck in your youth, look at me I have moved on".

Me and my wife are still just the two of us (and a dog) and she works evening shifts quite a lot, so I have a lot of time on my hands. Between work, gym, household chores and taking care of the dog, I usually end up with at least two or three hours of free time every day. Also we moved into a different town to chase a job, and we left our friends behind in a geographical sense.

So I play games. Mostly alone, or with strangers or semi-strangers online. Here's the thing though. If I could, I would give away my huge amounts of free time to play video games, for not being so lonely and not having to live in an empty house for most nights.
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It sounds to me that you would love to have a kid like all your close friends, and level up in your game of life.

You can use your time raising a kid and create a loving home atmosphere.
Maybe I am reading too much in it...

But hey, sometime kid settles people down and increases their happiness.

Edit: Shit, I just read your edit. You talk to her about this? If you are feeling lonely being together, it is time to examine why and how can both of yall improve it.
 
this is a great thread. makes me feel that i'm not the only introvert. lol.

edit: no way is this post in response to the gentleman above.

additional: to poster above..be aware sir, that lonliness can lead to depression. speak to the mrs and tell her.
 
I don't think it has much to do with age. I know plenty of older gamers, and if you want people to game with, you're on a forum where you literally just have to drop in the right thread and ask if someone wants to game with you to find them.
 
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