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Is Anyone Actually Single?

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I'm single and when I did online dating a few months back I didn't get many dates for many reasons, the main one being that I know what I'm looking for (cute geek) but geek in my current city tends to mean hipster and I look more like a regular guy who dresses well over a hipster (not to say that's the reason they didn't respond they might have simply other tastes)

I also stopped/put my profiles on hold because my city of residence might be changing soon and I'm going through a lot of changes in my life currently. Dating is always what I do when everything else in my life doesn't have issues. Probably not healthy but I feel I'm one of the people who doesn't need to be in a relationship to be happy.
 
Ignatz Mouse said:
I've never understood the importance for some people on physical attraction.
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How can you not understand the importance of physical/sexual attraction?
Taking someone to "poundtown" shouldn't make up 100% of the motivation to be with someone, but you need to be motivated to at least make the trip.

I don't get why someone would even bother with a relationship beyond friendship if they don't feel physical attraction.
 
On average I like single. There are a few people I run into that I like from time to time (always ends in tears, such is life) but over all I'm just not very attracted to other people in general. I tried online dating and after looking at what was available I usually go "Naw, I'm good."
 
Nealand Liquor said:
How can you not understand the importance of physical/sexual attraction?
Taking someone to "poundtown" shouldn't make up 100% of the motivation to be with someone, but you need to be motivated to at least make the trip.

I don't get why someone would even bother with a relationship beyond friendship if they don't feel physical attraction.
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I worded that poorly.

I never understood the importance on appearance for some people in attraction.

A smart, cynical, funny girl will turn me on more than a nice rack. A nice rack on such a person, I'm done for.
 
I am interested in plenty of people i dont find physically attractive, they are called friends.

As for deceptive photos online: The buck always stops if you eventually do meet each other, if you do not look similar to the person in your photo, regardless of how old it is, then you are not just less attractive in real life but also come across as disingenuous.

That is a rough start to a date, let alone a relationship. Its like starting a marathon by stepping on a nail after 9 seconds of running, good luck sport.
 
Mostly the same issue. I meet a nice girl, there's a ring or a boyfriend. I go online, it's a bunch of women who don't actually want to be in a relationship of any kind or can't hold a conversation. I go out to a bar, and it's all couples or it's lesbian night or there's literally 3 chicks there in a sea of 100 dudes hitting on them.

I haven't been on a date in years, I mostly gave up.
 
Assanova said:
The mental gymnastics to try to make stuff like this seem okay is astonishing. It is lying, pure and simple. It is very well known that men care about looks in the way that women care about income and status. Trying to distort the truth of either is lying and wrong.
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In a few posts this guy will ask if we've taken the red pill.
 
That's an interesting question OP.
I mean, can any of us really claim to be single in this interconnected, high data volume, coexistent society we live in?

Even if you leech yourself off human contact you are using products that have been designed and made from other people. You are consuming food produced by a vast agriculture network. Presumably you pay taxes and reap the benefits in the form of public services.

So I guess that in this day and age no one is on their own.
 
I'm surprised at the amount of people here who are just finding out how shallow online dating is for many. I try not to be shallow but the lady has to at least be cute. It can't be someone not physically attractive whatsoever that may happen to share my interests. If she shares my interests and is at least decently cute, then I'll give it a try.
 
Yeah I remember the poses when I did some online dating. Sticking your neck out to hide the double chin, angle slightly above and pointed down. Hand on hip. It's all there.

I have a cousin who's so into it. I've actually seen her alter her pictures because the straight lines in the background are curved. Then a candid picture of her from a friend comes up and she legit looks 70lbs heavier. It's really sad.
 
Being interested in just looks is pretty shallow. Wanting to be physically attracted to the person and sharing similar interested isn't. I'm not sure how someone can date someone they're not physically attracted to, seems weird to me. But to each their own, I guess.

Many of my friends are single, but from I've seen more guys are single than girls, shit sucks.
 
Ignatz Mouse said:
I worded that poorly.

I never understood the importance on appearance for some people in attraction.

A smart, cynical, funny girl will turn me on more than a nice rack. A nice rack on such a person, I'm done for.
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But you have to still be physically attracted to the persons appearance to want to be intimate.

I've dated solely on personality before because I liked the persons personality that much; However in the end I found myself making excuses to get out of any sort of romantic intimacy. I can vividly remember one night hearing her sobbing and feeling the bed shaking after I yet again rejected her sexual advances. I just couldn't force myself to be sexual with her any longer. I still feel horrible over that, but I simply couldn't make myself do it again.
I was living a lie and lost a very good friend because I refused to accept what my body was telling me.
 
SeanR1221 said:
Yeah I remember the poses when I did some online dating. Sticking your neck out to hide the double chin, angle slightly above and pointed down. Hand on hip. It's all there.

I have a cousin who's so into it. I've actually seen her alter her pictures because the straight lines in the background are curved. Then a candid picture of her from a friend comes up and she legit looks 70lbs heavier. It's really sad.
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Well, to be fair, those are generally good tips for most people when taking photos. Anybody can be made to look like they have a double chin from the wrong angle or bad lighting.

The photoshopping though? Yeah, that's some mess.
 
Nealand Liquor said:
But you have to still be physically attracted to the persons appearance to want to be intimate.

I've dated solely on personality before because I liked the persons personality that much; However in the end I found myself making excuses to get out of any sort of romantic intimacy. I can vividly remember one night hearing her sobbing and feeling the bed shaking after I yet again rejected her sexual advances. I just couldn't force myself anymore to be sexual with her. I still feel horrible over that, but I simply couldn't make myself do it.
I was living a lie and lost a very good friend because I refused to accept what my body was telling me.
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I'm saying that my body is turned on more by personality than looks, although obviously both play a part. I've never understood people for whom looks are the dominant factor. I can see certain things being like a veto, I guess, but that would have to be something pretty extreme. That's why I asked what the line was for the OP in saying somebody is "fat." What's the line where looks overrules any other attraction?
 
I think statistically more people are single now relatively compared to the recent past.

Besides, especially with girls, many want to find someone else before breaking up.
 
The Artisan said:
OP I'm going to be 25 soon and I've been single all my life.
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image.php
 
kirby_fox said:
Mostly the same issue. I meet a nice girl, there's a ring or a boyfriend. I go online, it's a bunch of women who don't actually want to be in a relationship of any kind or can't hold a conversation. I go out to a bar, and it's all couples or it's lesbian night or there's literally 3 chicks there in a sea of 100 dudes hitting on them.

I haven't been on a date in years, I mostly gave up.
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This, it's even worse when all the cute female coworkers you have constantly wonder why you're single...and they're all taken. And like a moron I try not to screw up other people's relationships.

I consider myself to be average looking, the only real distinguishing feature about me is my red hair. I'm in shape but not ripped (I prefer to be lean and fit not huge), and the only views/messages I seem to get on dating apps are from overweight women. I'm polite enough, I will look at their profile first to see if we have anything in common, and will send back a polite message stating I'm not interested.

All the women I find attractive/have common interests in? They never respond. It's extremely frustrating. I'm not attracted to larger women because, for me personally, I believe people should take care of themselves. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't.
 
Greddleok said:
I work at a University. I can't date people I teach, that's kinda unethical. Even if I'm not teaching them directly, it jus feels kinda weird.
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Don't date people you teach, date others. The academic life, for some reason, makes you marry older, so even among post degree students there's usually a good pool of mature people.

Edit:
Assanova said:
The mental gymnastics to try to make stuff like this seem okay is astonishing. It is lying, pure and simple. It is very well known that men care about looks in the way that women care about income and status. Trying to distort the truth of either is lying and wrong.
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I don't think I've ever dated a woman that gave a shit about my income. Not saying they don't exist.
 
I'm wondering that too. I'm going out with my department for a Christmas meal soon and literally everybody is bringing their fiancee.

I mean I can make conversation sure but Jesus. Online dating is ridiculous too, I agree.
 
Been single for 7 years now, and I don't feel bad about it.
But yeah, you are right OP, most people who are in their twenties are in relationship, but my flat mate who is older, said that you will find more singles who are in their 30s than 20s, apparently. Hope that helps!
 
I never put my height on a dating site, and I'm not a tall guy. Am I deceiving people?

Greddleok said:
There's never going to be "clicking" if I find someone's body unattractive. At best I might have made a new friend, but I didn't, none of them were a match in that respect either (but that's a flaw with dating sites, not fat girls).
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If someone only posts angled non-body shots and you're very particular about liking skinnier body types, maybe you can safely assume they don't fit your rigid criteria and decide to not go on a date instead of crying deception. Or if you're open-minded about that particular aspect and seem to have chemistry online, you can meet and see if it clicks or no.

I mean, if for you, overweight = unattractive AND you haven't established any sort of baseline chemistry to even consider a friendship with them, why did you go on a date if they haven't posted any "non-deceptive" body shots?

Greddleok said:
Actually I'm attracted to all my female friends.
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So is the truth that the overweight girls you met weren't attractive enough to even befriend? Did all your friends friendzone you?
 
Some people are fine when single, some people absolutely need to have a relationship or they're miserable. I did a double take recently when I realized I've been single less than half of my lived live now, not sure I could even function alone ever again.
 
OP,

There are single women everywhere. I was in Fresno a few weeks ago and went out with a 44 year old and a 24 year old friend of mine. Both single. Both DTF. Both beautiful.

All you have to do is talk to them.
 
Ignatz Mouse said:
I've never understood the importance for some people on physical attraction. It's a component, but for some people it seems like the main component. The only person I know who puts that much importance on it in real life is unhappily divorced and can't seem to maintain a long-term relationship (and perhaps has given up on the idea). He's wealthy though, so he can manage that.

Also curious as to how fat is "fat" for the OP. Is somebody 20 pounds overweight no longer attractive?
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Physical attraction is an absolutely essential aspect of sexual compatibility. Without it people's physical relationship will fizzle out rather quickly and I know I sure as hell don't want that, anyway.

You need both it and emotional/personality/etc compatibility for a relationship to be worth being in (imo). One can't make up for the other - both.
 
I feel like there's a lot of single women out there.

The problem that I see most of the time is that, at least where I live, they're all interested in the exact same type of guy; tall, jacked, makes outrageous money doing camp work up north, drives a big truck.

Nothing against those dudes, I'm sure for the most part they're good guys, but sometimes it does feel like if you don't fit that stereotype most girls just aren't interested.

Maybe I need to get out of this town.
 
ElephantShell said:
I feel like there's a lot of single women out there.

The problem that I see most of the time is that, at least where I live, they're all interested in the exact same type of guy; tall, jacked, makes outrageous money doing camp work up north, drives a big truck.

Nothing against those dudes, I'm sure for the most part they're good guys, but sometimes it does feel like if you don't fit that stereotype most girls just aren't interested.

Maybe I need to get out of this town.
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Or, maybe that's why they're single.
 
dity said:
But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.
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No, they're straight up wasting my time because they know that those shots make them look normal and healthy while in reality they're not. But I'm not like OP, I'd just straight up put my headphones in and leave. No point sugarcoating shit, I work out and am at a healthy weight, I expect my partner to be the same.

Ignatz Mouse said:
I've never understood the importance for some people on physical attraction. It's a component, but for some people it seems like the main component.

Also curious as to how fat is "fat" for the OP. Is somebody 20 pounds overweight no longer attractive?
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It's called standards, apart from no physical attraction, it'd be embarrassing for me to be out with someone who's clearly below my looks.

Depends on the pounds, if the 20 pounds end up in the ass and boobs then no complaints there.

maquiladora said:
Why not just enjoy being single instead of desperately trying to race to find another person?
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Evolution man, it's so deep in your brain that you can't just ignore it.
 
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