Hahahaha!!!
Why is Hulk punching a giant baby.
The Motherfucking Flash
Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.
Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he's the hottest shit to ever shit on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of fuck you batman. That's Batman.
But the fucking Flash, my god, my FUCKING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that fucking hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.
Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother fuck! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's fucking fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn't fucking enough!
I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!
The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into shit but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or FUCKING EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. IT's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the fucking Flash.
Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.
But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and shit he's going to lose and FUCK how is Superman THIS fucking strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.
How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! Fuck you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet fucking russia! RUSH-A! Bitch.
Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire.
there is no long fight, Supes has multiple ways of incapacitating hulk, while hulk only has his strength.
What? What other methods does supes have?
So what happened with the ghost rider ("...the safety's off") in that Dr. Strange strip?
Going back in time and kill baby Banner.
Lyra has the standard powers of a "hulk" with one major flaw: the more anger and rage consumes her, the weaker she gets. Noting that she was genetically created, this flaw could have been implemented on purpose by her superiors. However, her connection with gamma radiation seems to be incredibly deep. Since gamma radiation flows through everything, when she calms herself she can enter a trance-like state in which she perceives everything as a part of her, allowing her to flow easily in combat. In practical application this allows her to see attacks coming, detect weak points and battle more effectively with seemingly no effort.
After World War Hulks, Bruce Banner created a sort of antidote based on S.P.I.N.-tech for Lyra's anger-driven power drain. The concoction also allowed Lyra to change from Hulk to human form at will.
Anyone say the Sentry yet?
Anyone say the Sentry yet?
Anyone say the Sentry yet?
That's the watcher. And he watches...everything. a cosmic being, who was able to be punched the fuck out by red hulk.
CHEEZMO™;29047060 said:Also, Dr. Manhattan if you count him as one.
The guy is effectively God.
A gundam can defeat him. The metal cannot be destroyed.
A gundam can defeat him. The metal cannot be destroyed.
Early versions were defeated by hitting them so hard they annihilated the (non adamantium) internal circuitry- I imagine gundams would go out the same way.
Is it tougher than adamantium?
There's lots of metals like this in the marvel universe. True Adamantium is the most common, but enchanted Uru (Thor's hammer), whatever the destroyer is, and whatever Cap's shield is (Vibranium/steel/mystery alloy) also fit the bill. pure force can't damage them, usually has to be molecular manipulation, or magic.
Ultron is a robot made entirely of true adamantium, and requires an internal molecular manipulator to even move around (since adamantium can't bend, etc).
Early versions were defeated by hitting them so hard they annihilated the (non adamantium) internal circuitry- I imagine gundams would go out the same way.
Anyone say the Sentry yet?
that is if Hulk could even get a clean shot. Ultros is too slow. A gundam with a good pilot might take a few quick punches but the hard punch will never land.
You guys are taking him seriously? He's messing around.
is Ultros as big as this?
Hulk won that fight.
is Ultros as big as this
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If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing.
The Isolationist and Hope Summers, they both have power mimicry. Basically means that it's possble for them to have the all the powers of the entire mutant race.
The Isolationist and Hope Summers, they both have power mimicry. Basically means that it's possble for them to have the all the powers of the entire mutant race.
Holy shit, just had the weirdest thing happen. So earlier today I was reading and posting in this thread, and the Avengers thread, where we were going over his a bit, and later on tonight, I went out to my friends house, and let me just say he's not a fan of any type of stuff in-depth, like comics, but he has a general knowledge of stuff, but someone who would never talk about most of the stuff we talk about on here; anyways, he literally asked the question "I was just thinking today...don't you think the Hulk is kind of lame? You know, because he's basically indestructible? The angrier he gets, the stronger he gets, so what's the point?"
Thought it was crazy weird he brought that up, because it's definitely not stuff we talk about, but it was super-weird that I was talking about with all of you like hours earlier on the same day.
Question, can't you kill banner before he hulkifies?
So the transformation is instantaneous?
Hulk can be killed by any number of marvel characters, it's just that trying to punch him out with brute force isn't really all that effective.
there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more
That's what I figured, but I didn't want to get into it with someone that doesn't read comics, nor do I, and I think I understand where he was coming from when he said it.
Could you give me an example of a Marvel hero that is more powerful than him though?
That's what I figured, but I didn't want to get into it with someone that doesn't read comics, nor do I, and I think I understand where he was coming from when he said it.
Could you give me an example of a Marvel hero that is more powerful than him though?
That's what I figured, but I didn't want to get into it with someone that doesn't read comics, nor do I, and I think I understand where he was coming from when he said it.
Could you give me an example of a Marvel hero that is more powerful than him though?
Could you give me an example of a Marvel hero that is more powerful than him though?
Sorry for the (kind of) OT post, but do you know where I could find that kind of fan art you have on your avatar?
The Silver Surfer could probably take the Hulk pretty easily. During JMS' run on Spider-Man he had Peter Parker explain to Mary Jane a way to take down the Hulk if he ever had to, but I'm not sure if that is really taken into account by anyone else.
couldn't Molecule Man just tear him apart at the molecular level?
"While the Living Tribunal has stated that the Molecule Man's power is practically limitless, Reece himself has stated it to be below that of Eternity and the Tribunal."
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