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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me

T

Transhuman

Unconfirmed Member
I'm glad it's working out, but I have to say, was hoping for a little more spectacle.

I mean this thread had iPad dickpics, and high emotions and stuff
 
kittoo

kittoo

Cretinously credulous
Mammoth Jones said:
You know she's prolly smashing in those 1-2 weeks, right? No matter what you do get tested. Your health comes first.
Click to expand...

Haha. Well I did have a talk with her family too today (general talk, not about this whole thing). So until unless she is smashing someone in her hometown too, behind her family's backs, I can breathe easy for a while.
 
Z

ZangBa

Member
You telling us we gotta wait 2 weeks to get to the climax of this arc? This'll be like waiting for Dragon Ball Super to come back again.
 
E

Earthbound64

Banned
Transhuman said:
iPad dickpics
Click to expand...

image.php



kittoo said:
Haha. Well I did have a talk with her family too today. So until unless she is smashing someone in her hometown too, behind her family's backs, I can breathe easy for a while.
Click to expand...

Why are you talking with her family about it too, as if that matters or is going to change anything.

"unless she is smashing someone in her hometown too, behind her family's backs, I can breathe easy for a while"?
I mean, she's (*probably) smashing people behind your back, why wouldn't she do it behind their backs as well?
 
kittoo

kittoo

Cretinously credulous
Earthbound64 said:
image.php





Why are you talking with her family about it too, as if that matters or is going to change anything.

"unless she is smashing someone in her hometown too, behind her family's backs, I can breathe easy for a while"?
I mean, she's (*probably) smashing people behind your back, why wouldn't she do it behind their backs as well?
Click to expand...

I had a general chat with them. Festival greetings and all. Not about this thing. I am not going to talk to them about this, even if we breakup. That would be weird and wont help anyone.
As far as the smashing part goes. Well, if she is smashing- nothing I can do right now since I dont know this way or that way. Will have to wait till she is back to decide what to do.
 
Night.Ninja

Night.Ninja

Banned
Fuck are you still with her ?

So many more females out there, would she still be with you if the situation was reserved?

Your sister looking at you like

You_re%20acting%20like%20a%20little%20bitch%20right%20now.gif
 
Z

Zvonimir Boban

Banned
kittoo said:
Nice to see so many people looking after me/updates :p

I am here only guys just that there hasnt been much update since she went to her hometown for Diwali and we havent talked much since. She just said she understood that she was in the wrong to keep the app for so long after us being together. Still says she was only keeping it for friends.

Nevertheless, I put a detailed talk on hold since she is with her extended family at her hometown. Next substantial (and hopefully final) update will take 1 or 2 weeks. Till then, I will be playing The Evil Within 2 :p

Oh and thanks for the suggestion guys but I anyway do hit gym 4 times a week. Did the same today too. Feels good :)
Click to expand...

It doesn't matter what the two of you talk about when she comes back, the bottom line is she's using a dating app to meet other guys 18 months into your relationship.

So the question you have to ask yourself is this:

Am I OK with being viewed as a weak piece of shit who doesn't deserve any respect?


If you're happy with that just because you're getting your dick wet then whatever, it's your life.
 
M

mordecaii83

Member
kittoo said:
I had a general chat with them. Festival greetings and all. Not about this thing. I am not going to talk to them about this, even if we breakup. That would be weird and wont help anyone.
As far as the smashing part goes. Well, if she is smashing- nothing I can do right now since I dont know this way or that way. Will have to wait till she is back to decide what to do.
Click to expand...

OP, I'm going to go against almost everyone else and say there's still a small chance that the worst she did was meet a guy behind your back without really thinking about the implications of it and it wasn't malicious. That being said, you need to talk to her and if you decide to stay with her it should only be if she can 100% convince you there's nothing shady going on. If there's even an ounce of doubt then the relationship WILL NOT WORK.

Don't accuse her of anything, just be clear that you just want to feel certain you know the entire truth of the situation.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
mordecaii83 said:
OP, I'm going to go against almost everyone else and say there's still a small chance that the worst she did was meet a guy behind your back without really thinking about the implications of it and it wasn't malicious. That being said, you need to talk to her and if you decide to stay with her it should only be if she can 100% convince you there's nothing shady going on. If there's even an ounce of doubt then the relationship WILL NOT WORK.

Don't accuse her of anything, just be clear that you just want to feel certain you know the entire truth of the situation.
Click to expand...

Yup! Just ask her to be truthful and decide then! Make sure she doesn't lie! Once you have a clear idea, decide! Mind you, you might be going by with only partial information, since she deleted the app so you couldn't check it, and there's only 20 days of txt history for some obscure reason, but that's why it's especially important that you ask her to tell you the truth. She may have lied or hidden stuff from you before, but if you confront her, you will unveil the secret reason behind her obfuscations. Maybe it's for a months-long preparation for a surprise party in your honor inviting people you don't know that she met on the dating app. You might even feel ashamed of your words and deeds once the truth comes out. Be strong!
 
D

daman824

Member
Knew it was going to turn out this way from the start. It always does. You really should leave her. But you won't. Hope it all turns out ok
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
kittoo said:
Still says she was only keeping it for friends.
Click to expand...

Friends, that's plural and means she's talking to more than one guy. Do you really honestly think there's all these girls hanging out on a dating app just being friends?

It's already been asked why she has not moved these friends to a more convenient chat app.
 
P

Ponn

Banned
I’m not sure if it was covered, I read all the updates and skimmed the rest. I gotta ask something that is nagging me through all this. You are thinking about marriage and have been together for over a year, is there a specific reason you aren’t living together yet and do you plan on trying to live together before getting married? What are her thoughts on that?
 
Z

Zetta

Member
OP it all comes down to this, if you trust her then stay with her since at the end of the day you're an adult and you can make your own decisions. If you can't trust her then end it and move on and don't forget to go to the gym.
 
I

ironmang

Member
always crazy bacon said:
Friends, that's plural and means she's talking to more than one guy. Do you really honestly think there's all these girls hanging out on a dating app just being friends?

It's already been asked why she has not moved these friends to a more convenient chat app.
Click to expand...

Even more why are these "friends" in her life at all? They swiped right or whatever equivalent on a dating app so there's at least some mutual attraction there.
 
Ristifer

Ristifer

Member
MrMatt555 said:
No girl seriously planning on marrying their boyfriend will even entertain the idea of having friends of the same sex/hanging with them after the 23rd or whatever... Something's off.
Click to expand...
Lol. This thread hasn't quite reached epic status, but it's still got some goodies.
 
A

apocalidiot

Banned
OP reading the thread and updates, it sounds like everything is chill and you should stop being so neurotic. Pretty much all of your questions you raise in your second update most likely have very mundane, normal answers. I hope everything works out for you

MrMatt555 said:
No girl seriously planning on marrying their boyfriend will even entertain the idea of having friends of the same sex/hanging with them after the 23rd or whatever... Something's off.
Click to expand...

I hope this is a parody. What planet do you people live on
 
E

eKongDiddy

Member
MrMatt555 said:
No girl seriously planning on marrying their boyfriend will even entertain the idea of having friends of the same sex/hanging with them after the 23rd or whatever... Something's off.
Click to expand...

Such an ignorant, and low self-esteem, way of view. I have two girls who are my best friends since childhood. We hang out all together sometimes, sometimes individually, or whatever combination. They both have boyfriends and we all get along just fine. When I find me a girl, she’s going to be fine with us hanging out too.

Are people that insecure that they can’t let their girlfriend/boyfriend have friend’s of the same, or opposite, sex?
 
J

jb1234

Member
MrMatt555 said:
No girl seriously planning on marrying their boyfriend will even entertain the idea of having friends of the same sex/hanging with them after the 23rd or whatever... Something's off.
Click to expand...

I suppose it was expecting too much for you to have grown up in the last two weeks.
 
V

VeeP

Member
kittoo said:
Nice to see so many people looking after me/updates :p

I am here only guys just that there hasnt been much update since she went to her hometown for Diwali and we havent talked much since. She just said she understood that she was in the wrong to keep the app for so long after us being together. Still says she was only keeping it for friends.

Nevertheless, I put a detailed talk on hold since she is with her extended family at her hometown. Next substantial (and hopefully final) update will take 1 or 2 weeks. Till then, I will be playing The Evil Within 2 :p

Oh and thanks for the suggestion guys but I anyway do hit gym 4 times a week. Did the same today too. Feels good :)
Click to expand...

Cool. If you decide to stay in this relationship OP, have a good long talk with her about the whole thing. Maybe write some things down/your concerns so when you do talk to her you can stay focused and won't forget anything. Anyways good luck.

I expect a thread bump from you in 2 weeks :).
 
J

Jeels

Member
I don't understand this thread in regards to one and a half years being too early. It's too early if you are in a situation like this obviously where there are things to work out but plenty of people get engaged in much less time. Others take way more years. Every couple is different.
 
V

Vincent Alexander

Member
MrMatt555 said:
No girl seriously planning on marrying their boyfriend will even entertain the idea of having friends of the same sex/hanging with them after the 23rd or whatever... Something's off.
Click to expand...
You're getting jumped on a lot here...but I think you're right. At least, he or she wouldn't allow them to hang out alone with someone of opposite sex. Not always, but I can count plenty I've known of friends that are like this. There's a mile difference between how people should be, and how they are.
 
Y

Yaboosh

Super Sleuth
Jeels said:
I don't understand this thread in regards to one and a half years being too early. It's too early if you are in a situation like this obviously where there are things to work out but plenty of people get engaged in much less time. Others take way more years. Every couple is different.
Click to expand...


It's still generally a bad idea.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Jeels said:
I don't understand this thread in regards to one and a half years being too early. It's too early if you are in a situation like this obviously where there are things to work out but plenty of people get engaged in much less time. Others take way more years. Every couple is different.
Click to expand...

You do know the concept of success bias?
 
R

Random Painted HIghway

Member
Jeels said:
I don't understand this thread in regards to one and a half years being too early. It's too early if you are in a situation like this obviously where there are things to work out but plenty of people get engaged in much less time. Others take way more years. Every couple is different.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I don’t understand it either. 1.5 years of dating seems like a good time , if not late, to start talking marriage or long term plans/goals for the relationship. Surely you should have an idea where you want to go at that point, different folks get to that stage at different times, if at all, of course. 1.5 years dating, six months or a year of engagement, then you’re looking at two plus years of relationship time. Obviously this is heavily dependent on the ages involved, 2 years is not much time to wait for 20 year olds, but a really long time for 35 year of with bio clocks and established lives.
 
T

TaterTots

Banned
eKongDiddy said:
Such an ignorant, and low self-esteem, way of view. I have two girls who are my best friends since childhood. We hang out all together sometimes, sometimes individually, or whatever combination. They both have boyfriends and we all get along just fine. When I find me a girl, she's going to be fine with us hanging out too.

Are people that insecure that they can't let their girlfriend/boyfriend have friend's of the same, or opposite, sex?
Click to expand...

jb1234 said:
I suppose it was expecting too much for you to have grown up in the last two weeks.
Click to expand...

To be fair, I've been with women who frowned upon me having female friends and would ask me to stop talking to them. However, I was younger. teens/early twenties.
 
S

shaneo632

Member
If it's got to the point where you're going through your partner's phone, the relationship is already dead.

I suspected an ex was cheating on me. I went on her e-mail and confirmed it for myself. Broke off the relationship the next day and ghosted afterwards. Nicely clean and clinical, even if I hate that I invaded her privacy like that (terrible though she treated me).
 
Entroyp

Entroyp

Member
This is so confusing now, so the OP is still with this girl?

edit: Andwered above.

OP this is a life defining moment for you, make the right decision for you.

As a hint the right decision is not condoning cheaters.
 
andythinkpad

andythinkpad

Member
Jeels said:
I don't understand this thread in regards to one and a half years being too early. It's too early if you are in a situation like this obviously where there are things to work out but plenty of people get engaged in much less time. Others take way more years. Every couple is different.
Click to expand...

1 and a half year is perfectly long enough for marriage. I didn't comment on it because it was such a dumb drive by comment.
 
B

brawly

Member
shaneo632 said:
If it's got to the point where you're going through your partner's phone, the relationship is already dead.

I suspected an ex was cheating on me. I went on her e-mail and confirmed it for myself. Broke off the relationship the next day and ghosted afterwards. Nicely clean and clinical, even if I hate that I invaded her privacy like that (terrible though she treated me).
Click to expand...

You're lucky you found something.
 
R

rothgar

Member
I'm interested to know whether the OP's sister believes the girlfriend's story about maintaining friendships through dating apps. Does the sister also find it weird or is it not abnormal among young people in their circle of friends?
 
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