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[Synth_floyd]

I just rented this movie. I saw the first one in the theaters. It was okay. Nice to see all the old action stars back together. Then I saw this one.

It was just...boring. It was like I was watching a videogame more than a movie. The guys go from scene to scene and shoot up everything like they have an invincibility code on. There was no drama at all in the movie. No tension.

The script was awful. If you took out all the self-referential dialogue and replaced all the famous actors with nobodies then this would be a straight to DVD movie at best.

There were no characters in the movie. Sylvester Stallone was playing...Sylvester Stallone. Same with Schwarzenegger. Same with basically everyone else. The dialogue was nothing but self-referential stuff. "I told you I'll be back." "I'm back!" There was the Chuck Norris fact about the snake. It's like in the Red Letter Media review of Phantom Menace where he asks people to describe characters without talking about their appearance and they can't do it. Same here.

Maybe they had too many people in the movie so that none of them had enough to do? It was more like a 90 minute infomercial for these actors than an actual film. The characters are in a predicament...so we'll give Chuck Norris a bit part to save the day. Then they're in another predicament...so we'll give Schwarzenegger and Willis bit parts to save the day. JCVD had what was basically a bit part. He kills that new character in the beginning and then has a 2 minute fight scene with Stallone at the end, which wasn't even that good.

What they should do for the sequel: Get rid of Crews, Couture, probably Jet Li and even Statham. I would say the same for Lundgren but he was the comic relief so he at least had a purpose.

Then give us at least a halfway decent reason to care why these people are shooting a bunch of random badguys. They introduced a new character, built him up for 5 minutes and then killed him. Zzz. Make it so the movie doesn't feel like watching someone play Call of Duty on easy mode.

The Terminator is a character. Rambo is a character. Jon McClain is a character. Even Schwarzenegger's character in Predator wasn't much of a character either but it had a cool story, good supporting cast and a great villain which made up for it.

This was just a bad movie with a horrible script whose only reason for existence was that they got all the big name actors to play the characters. At least put that talent for some good use.

 

[sfedai0]

Its a guilty pleasure type of movie. A lovesong to the action flicks from the '80s and '90s.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

After the first movie, I have no interest. I expected it to be daft, goofy fun. It just took itself to seriously, there was little in the way of lame cheesy jokes, and everyone sported a stern expression the whole way through.

I don't like sly as a director. His mantra seems to be, "make bodies explode like a bag of blood in the microwave." Rambo was comic book gore.

 

[fuenf]

It was the bad 80s movie I expected it to be and it was great. Expendables 1 was horrible and boring, but EX2 is far better. It's a fun movie that pays homage to it's heroes and everything that came before. A movie like Expendables doesnt need a good story or deep characters, they already tried that shit with EX1 and it went horribly wrong. Expendables 2 lives by the emotional attachment the viewer has to its stars, and that's exactly how a movie with that premise should play out.

 

[Fezan]

didn't liked the first one but 2nd one was enjoyable for me atleast

 

[daviyoung]

First one was boring too.

Rambo IV is still the benchmark.

 

[SlowRevolution]

First was horrible, haven't seen the sequel yet. Kind of annoying if it's actually a big improvement and does what we expected from the first. I think after seeing 1 a lot of people lost interest.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

I thought the second one was much better than the first.

 

[Wurst]

Got invited to watch it with a friend ... and I hated every second of it.
Everything about it is a mess. I kind of get the appeal. But urgh, the script was horrible, the performances stiff and Stallone looked like a lifted, soulless turkey.

It was like trying to wank on a rollercoaster. There's too much shit going down around you that you just can't get it hard.
This must be what elders see in video games. Mindless, action-orgies without heart.

Honestly, I've never felt so offended by a movie.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

I remember all my mates saying about the first one, "Oh man, you need to see it! It's just like an 80's action movie!"

It's not though. That's the problem.

 

[BattleMonkey]

First one was bad, the 2nd fixes much of the problems with it. They accepted what the movie was in 2 and went with tongue in cheek humor, they got rid of the awful modern blurry shaky cam garbage, and they upped the action. It's a bit bloated on the side of having too many characters so few get enough spotlight to develop, but whatever.

Movie is what it is, bad 80's action movie which we don't get anymore. We got tons of shitty action movies now which are all about slick action, camera tricks, and nothing but bad attempts of style. It doesn't try to waste our time with trying to make drama in a paper thin action film, it just has short set ups to give excuses to blow shit up. They could do things better no doubt, but it fits an itch that we no longer get scratched. Found it more thrilling than the countless current action movies full of puny heroes, shaky cam, slow motion, and wub wub wub

 

[Triple Oceans]

I had a chance to watch earlier this week and felt I couldn't give it any thing higher than a D-. Besides the first scene being somewhat entertaining, the movie was a let down. They even managed to make the fight with Van Damme underwhelming (which really annoyed me). It really felt they were just going through the motions. You would think with a movie like this they would be having a good time doing what they do, but instead it seemed like they were disinterested. After watching it, I really regretted renting it.

 

[LosDaddie]

The movie was 15yrs too late.

But it was enjoyable. Lots of action and corny dialog. That is all one should expect from the movie

 

[Skellig Gra]

Horrible? Sure. Boring? No way man. It is what it is. Anyone with half a brain knows what they are getting in to beforehand.

 

[Little Old Man]

I definitely preferred the first one.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

First, Sly didn't direct EX2 - he handed over the reins and while I love Sly's directing, it benefited in this movie as it's a tighter and better movie.

Second you guys are crazy - how could any of you hate on the Van Damme fight?! That was great, man...

 

[SmashN'Grab]

It's just goes to show how skilled a writer and director need to actually be to pull off an enjoyable "no-brainer" 80's action film.

You might think it's a simple as getting all those guys together and blowing shit up, but there's clearly a lot more to it as these two films are fucking joyless and plodding and insufferably dull.

 

[DigitalRicket]

I don't like sly as a director.

I think that just depends on the type of movie he's filming. He produced, wrote, starred in, and directed Rocky Balboa and by god that movie was fantastic. Focused from beginning to end. Enjoyed the platonic relationship he had with the female lead and her family. And really gave a sense of closure to the character of Rocky.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

I think that just depends on the type of movie he's filming. He produced, wrote, starred in, and directed Rocky Balboa and by god that movie was fantastic. Focused from beginning to end. Enjoyed the platonic relationship he had with the female lead and her family. And really gave a sense of closure to the character of Rocky.

Rocky Balboa was a great, great movie with some of Sly's best monologues. Man. It was SO good.

 

[Kusagari]

The first one was horrible because it took itself too seriously. It also had a boring ass plot that sucked up too much time.

The second one is what people wanted from the get go. A tongue-in-cheek action movie with all the stars doing badass shit.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

The first one was horrible because it took itself too seriously. It also had a boring ass plot that sucked up too much time.

The second one is what people wanted from the get go. A tongue-in-cheek action movie with all the stars doing badass shit.

I will say the Expendables 1 Director's Cut is a far superior film - about 30 minutes longer and has TONS of character development that was axed from the theatrical run. A much more somber and dirty tone. Easily the best version.

 

[HammerOfThor]

I was shocked to find out Norris is in his 70's, but looks younger than the everyone else.

But I really enjoyed it, mindless fun.

 

[Triple Oceans]

First, Sly didn't direct EX2 - he handed over the reins and while I love Sly's directing, it benefited in this movie as it's a tighter and better movie.

Second you guys are crazy - how could any of you hate on the Van Damme fight?! That was great, man...

I felt the Van Damme fight was too short and Van Damme's character was a complete idiot in what he allowed Stallone's character to do to him with the chain. That last fight scene just felt really generic.

It's just goes to show how skilled a writer and director need to actually be to pull off an enjoyable "no-brainer" 80's action film.

You might think it's a simple as getting all those guys together and blowing shit up, but there's clearly a lot more to it as these two films are fucking joyless and plodding and insufferably dull.

Agreed.

 

[Fox Mulder]

It's not the best movie, but it was an enjoyable self aware summer action film, something the first should have been.

 

[Discotheque]

Imagine if a film with this cast was made back in the 80s. With Shane Black and John Mctiernan behind it or something.

And Mel Gibson in the mix.

God damn I just got a boner. I love all these actors but these films could be sooo much more. I enjoy them but you did hit the nail right on the head.

 

[MjFrancis]

Why were the bad guys going to the village to kidnap more people to staff the mines when they were already done mining and planned to kill the miners they already had in the very next scene?

Why was JCVD a Satanist?

Are Satanists a big problem in Bulgaria?

When did Satanists become such a major player in international arms dealing and plutonium extraction?

...

None of these questions matter in the Expendables 2. There's enough explosions and hilarious camp to keep you entertained for an hour and a half. It's an intentionally bad movie that would rightfully be sent straight to video even in the early 1990's. It would be unbearable with even half of the all-star cast removed, which is after all the only reason anyone watched this film on purpose to begin with.

Since I watched it all the way through I suppose I have to give it two stars out of five. If it was worse I would have stopped watching.

 

[Verendus]

The Expendables movies are utter shit. There's more to making a good action movie than generic explosion and gun scenes. The actors end up looking pathetic coming out of these movies instead of it being a celebration of them. The end feeling is "how sad these guys are" because you see what crap they've been reduced to rather than "how awesome was this".

The references in dialogue come across as weak also instead of hell yeah moments.

Dialogue spoiler:

Spoiler

"I'll be back."
"You've been back enough. I'll be back."
"Yippee-ki-yay."

What the hell is that? There's no point in this exchange happening where it does or in the manner it does. Instead of being a "cool" moment, it just feels thrown in.

I also don't know why they're wasting time on Crews and Couture. I'm a fan of Terry Crews but it's bloody pointless having him in a movie like this where screentime is already messed up with all the characters feeling like cardboard. And Couture is Couture. He shouldn't even be in discussions for an action movie, regardless of his UFC past.

I'll give an example of another movie which has lots of characters: Predator.

Every character in that movie is unique and defined. They only get a few lines of dialogue to set them up, but it's done well and you instantly get a good feel for each character's personality. The core is, of course, focused on Arnold as he's the main character. All of it comes together to give you an amazing action movie. There's no wasted scenes. There's tension, and it's built to a great climax.

Expendables is just a bunch of dudes. That's it. They throw in some shitty jokes to try and give you these "character" moments but they fall flat. The action scenes are bloody shit too. They're as generic as they can be. There's a total of two or three memorable moments in both movies and they amount to about a minute combined. That's how bad it is. You can tell the amount of thought that went into this movie extended to "fans will love seeing us all together so let's just shoot things". That's it. Well, that's a good recipe for a shit movie which is what these two outings are.

This is a movie that has bloody Jet Li and they don't even make use of his physical prowess. It has Jason Statham and his action scenes in it have also been crap. In the Expendables 2, Statham's random fight with some dudes in a church was better than his final fight with Adkins. How does that even make sense? Jet Li had the best action scene in the first 10 minutes of the movie.

God I hate these fucking movies. They could be so much more in the hands of a competent director and writer.

 

[Liquidsnake]

Second movie way better than the first, so I disagree with most of what you said.

 

[massoluk]

It's a slightly better but still mediocre film, a guilty pleasure. They are better Transformers films with lots of love going into it if you will.

 

[Verendus]

Nope, even the Transformers movies, as bad as they are, are better than these.

 

[jorgeton]

I thought it was a fun popcorn movie. JCVD was the best thing in it.

Spoiler

too bad they cut his fucking head off at the end, so he can't be in Expendables 3.. or can he??

 

[Deleted member 47027]

I thought it was a fun popcorn movie. JCVD was the best thing in it.

Spoiler

too bad they cut his fucking head off at the end, so he can't be in Expendables 3.. or can he??

Spoiler

HIS MORE EVIL TWIN

 

[Chuckie]

Spoiler

HIS MORE EVIL TWIN

We know he has one!

 

[Vorg]

I think you missed the point of the movie OP.

 

[Imm0rt4l]

I thought the second one was much better than the first.

I'm sure it is, but it's not saying much. I haven't seen the second yet.

 

[Clevinger]

A lovesong to the action flicks from the '80s and '90s.

A lovesong to the shitty ones.

 

[SonicMegaDrive]

Nope, even the Transformers movies, as bad as they are, are better than these.

impossible

 

[massoluk]

Nope, even the Transformers movies, as bad as they are, are better than these.

Opposite Day was last month, sorry.

 

[Enco]

I enjoy dumb action movies as much as the next guy but Expendables 2 kinda sucked.

Just wasn't fun. No Jet Li, crappy jokes and a boring story.

 

[Verendus]

Opposite Day was last month, sorry.

No such thing as Opposite Day so HAH!

 

[Criminal Upper]

Are you serious? Expendables 1 was horrible and boring. Absolutely nothing happens for 70% of the film, just talking. There's one okay battle at the start, then 20 mins of fighting at the end. I don't even remember what the plot was.

Expendables 2, while not perfect, was infinitely entertaining, and had lots more going on. Better than the original in every way possible.

 

[Liquidsnake]

Are you serious? Expendables 1 was horrible and boring. Absolutely nothing happens for 70% of the film, just talking. There's one okay battle at the start, then 20 mins of fighting at the end. I don't even remember what the plot was.

Expendables 2, while not perfect, was infinitely entertaining, and had lots more going on. Better than the original in every way possible.

Thanks. I just don't have the energy anymore to defend movies from those who think they are cool by putting down movies like this and the Dark Knight Rises. EX 2 made 300 million worldwide, so I guess those that didn't like it are the vocal minority.

 

[BattleMonkey]

Nope, even the Transformers movies, as bad as they are, are better than these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlSbgZCw61g

 

[Verendus]

Thanks. I just don't have the energy anymore to defend movies from those who think they are cool by putting down movies like this and the Dark Knight Rises. EX 2 made 300 million worldwide, so I guess those that didn't like it are the vocal minority.

Expendables 2 doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as TDKR. TDKR was actually good, even if disappointing. Expendables 2 is shit. There's a clear, distinct difference between the two.

 

[electroshockwave]

Its a guilty pleasure type of movie. A lovesong to the action flicks from the '80s and '90s.

If you want something like the action flicks of the 80s then watch Dredd. The OP's right. The characters were completely forgettable and I can only remember them by the actor's name and the action was boring because I didn't feel that there was any danger to the group.

Thanks. I just don't have the energy anymore to defend movies from those who think they are cool by putting down movies like this and the Dark Knight Rises. EX 2 made 300 million worldwide, so I guess those that didn't like it are the vocal minority.

Are you trying to argue that popularity is an indicator of quality? The only reason the movie did so well is because it has so many big names in it.

 

[krameriffic]

I definitely preferred the first one.

I actually quite enjoyed the first one. Something about the action in it seemed much more visceral than the sequel and most action movies in general. The second one was just boring, played out and stupid.

 

[AlexBasch]

It was just...boring. It was like I was watching a videogame more than a movie. The guys go from scene to scene and shoot up everything like they have an invincibility code on. There was no drama at all in the movie. No tension.

Sounds like 80-90's action flicks to me!

I miss those badly.

 

[Liquidsnake]

If you want something like the action flicks of the 80s then watch Dredd. The OP's right. The characters were completely forgettable and I can only remember them by the actor's name and the action was boring because I didn't feel that there was any danger to the group.


Are you trying to argue that popularity is an indicator of quality? The only reason the movie did so well is because it has so many big names in it.

When a movie is shit word spreads, and people stop seeing it. That didn't happen with EX2 it had incredible legs. It over performed internationally. I am not saying its the greatest action movie of all time, but clearly what is stated in the OP is not true.

 

[massoluk]

Sounds like 80-90's action flicks to me!

I miss those badly.

Yeah. Nostalgia glasses on people who think those action flicks of yesteryear is any better than the Expendables films.

 

[Liquidsnake]

Yeah. Nostalgia glasses on people who think those action flicks of yesteryear is any better than the Expendables films.

Commando
Rambo II
Bloodsport

They are all in line with with EX 1 and 2.