I've been reading your posts and, without going into my details, I'll say I've had extremely similar circumstances and emotions over the past four months. I have no advice. I'm still struggling. I am reminded on a daily basis. Just as you mention, I don't want to let go, regardless of how it hurts.
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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You guys just have to try and meet new people. I'm pretty obsessive too, and it absolutely destroys me when I split with someone (even more if I really liked them).
I don't have many friends, well anyone really who I could immediately confide in, but now I just start talking to new people on things like dating sites.
I don't have many friends, well anyone really who I could immediately confide in, but now I just start talking to new people on things like dating sites.
User 479360
Banned
I've been trying online dating, and liking a lot of local women, but I only have one old black and white picture from about 7 years ago that I like and I'm not even smiling in it. To boot, I'm overweight and hairy and not the most attractive guy in the world.
I usually get brain zaps and a bit dizzy.
So yeah stuff like that can happen which is why you should never ever quit it cold turkey.
But to clarify its not "really" dangerous or something to get afraid its just a bit annoying and a reminder to quit in stages.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antidepressant_discontinuation_syndrome
It certainly can, yeah.
User 479360
Banned
Despite my efforts, I haven't been on a date in years. Maybe a decade.
Polydeuces
Member
Did some studying today I guess. Going over readings I havent done when assignments where due. surprisingly I caught up in one course in a few hours. Now for my other 2 classes, I do need to catch up as well. Im a bit worried about my statistics course; some topics where mostly conceptual; no numbers. That might take up more time. And I also got a exercise due on friday. Hopefully the readings wont kill me. Feeling a bit better now.
Efforts are something at least. I've hung out with some females, but I don't think I've had anything resembling a true date in my 24 years of life. And I know damn well I'm not putting forth the effort necessary. I find ways to convince myself that such efforts are futile, and simply give up before even trying nowadays. I find that much more pathetic. I wish I could at least say I'm trying, but that would be a lie. I need a lot of work on interpersonal relationships, a ton. Been avoiding and withdrawing socially practically my entire adult life.
That was my initial thread (2nd one got deleted a couple weeks ago), and I had linked her to a specific post. I don't know what I was thinking, but she ended up reading the whole thing. She got angrier at me for confiding in strangers as opposed to friends/family (which I was doing anyway). You're right, getting it off my chest is one thing, but continually talking about it is another. I just can't deny that it occupies a large portion of my thoughts now...
I have health insurance under my parents plan after I quit my job. I live in the U.S.
I suppose I forgot to mention, then... I also have $500 credit used up on my $1000 card. So technically I am in debt as well. Fuck.
That hits close to home. You're right, it's very difficult to let go of the person/memory of someone that was such a big part of your life. It has only been 2.5 months for me, but I'm afraid this problem will persist for many more months to come.
The woman I "lost" was with me for five years. It's been four months now and while I'm okay most of the time, when the feelings come back, they come back hard. Unexpectedly seeing a photo of her at the 2.5 month mark had me in the bathroom in tears.
Guess who then kept that photo in bedside drawer for the following month.
I wasn't with my ex for that long. We dated for 1.5 years, but the feelings were ever present. Plans for the future were talked about a lot. She did a lot to show how much she loved me, too. I have a lot of regrets. I really took her for granted.
The worst part is that she is with another guy, lives with him, and hates my guts (therefore no longer talks to me) because of stupid shit I said post-breakup. Whenever I see a picture of her or read anything she has written, my heart rate rises and I have to hold back the urge to cry.
I certainly took mine for granted. The fucked up thing is that I initiated the final breakup. By the time I realized my mistake, she had mentally accepted it and moved on. I tried everything. She won't even communicate with me now. It's as though she died.
Fortunately, she still claims (as of last month) that she wants to stay single and isn't looking. So thankfully I don't have to imagine her being with anyone else. I feel rather guilty that she was told that I have been dating. I'm sure it hurt her.
Fortunately, she still claims (as of last month) that she wants to stay single and isn't looking. So thankfully I don't have to imagine her being with anyone else. I feel rather guilty that she was told that I have been dating. I'm sure it hurt her.
You're right, it feels just like loss, but worse.
At least you don't have to worry about knowing she's with another guy. That feeling is something I wish on no one. Knowing your lost love is with someone else is debilitating. Everything you both ever did & shared... is now being shared with someone else like it never even mattered when you were in the picture. It's so fucked up.
I haven't been into work for 2 days. I feel like flat out quitting. I've been off my ADHD meds for 3 months now and my anti depressants for about a month now. It's hard getting out of bed in the morning a lot of the time. I honestly don't know what I want to do with my life anymore.
MissDeviling
Member
Hi GAF, I need help dealing with my dad's temper. I feel like he's been regressing these couple years in his eating habits. When my mom doesn't make anything he likes, he'll not eat anything and skip dinner, after which he'll find something in the fridge to satiate his appetite. He'll also act passive aggressive for at least a day afterwards to my mom, and not want to do anything and avoid talking to her. My mom doesn't help with the situation either, and tries to make him feel better by talking to him and making stuff he DOES like. I'm really frustrated with this situation, because my dad is a stubborn ass and won't eat stuff he should be eating, like fish and vegetables. It's also wrong that he treats my mom this way when she cooks for the family. What do I do? I've told him he has to eat stuff he doesn't like, since it's good for him, but he's so stubborn about it and won't.
Sometimes I don't eat and people give me shit all the time. I don't why but some days imagining food doesn't motivate me to eat. I'm not going to die by not eating and it feels like a chore so it doesn't seem to be worth it. You and your mom and are going to get tired if you guys keep insisting so much. If he doesn't have a condition where if he doesn't eat healthy he'll die, it's his problem. If he has a condition and he knows it and he's still eating like that, something weird is going on and I would get help for him.
Try your best to stay positive! Can you give your doctor or therapist a call? Maybe the meds would help again or maybe there is some other way to work it out.
MissDeviling
Member
It's not that he doesn't want to eat (because he'll just find something else in the fridge or go out of his way to buy take-out when dinner's not to his liking). He's just being extremely picky about what he takes in, and will become very childish when he doesn't get what he wants. The problem is that the doctor told him he needs to stop eating so much eat and take in more fish and vegetables, which he doesn't. As for his health, he has high blood pressure, which he takes meds for, and he's slightly overweight. I'm pretty sure he's depressed too (been out of a job for more than a decade, doesn't mingle with people, indulges himself with food and electronics shopping), but he won't see a psychologist and won't admit he has a problem. So I guess I'm saying I take issue with both his diet and his attitude towards people when he's not given the food he likes, which IMO is ridiculously childish. At his age, he can't be choosy about the stuff he needs to eat.
Since my Lithium dosage got adjusted in the hospital I have been having really bad side effects. Really severe nausea, just vomited at work and am about to leave early to work from home. No appetite, headache, just feel terrible. Mentally feel pretty decent honestly, but I just don't do well with Nausea at all, just feel awful, very hard to concentrate and focus. No clue how long I gotta deal with this side effects, figured I'd have reached therapeutic levels by now. I was in the hospital on the meds for a damn week already.
I can't, my mom was the one handling it for me and apparently he retired. She set up an appointment for me for another doctor that works with our insurance on the 23rd.
I don't think my meds would change my outlook on my job though. Management is horrible. I'm yelled at by "clients" all day for stupid shit that's not my fault. My cousin said he'd look into his job to see if he could get me a position there, but I just don't know anymore.
Gentle Rodriguez
Member
Social Anxiety is completely gone(for a while now), depression is 99% gone, I'm mostly fine. But general anxiety sometimes still takes over my body sometimes. With the help of my psychologist I've been able to keep it in check most of the time but sometimes everything gets a bit overwhelming and my rationality shuts down. Don't know how to counter it other than just practice.
Obviously my issues aren't as serious as some of yours(at least not anymore), but I just wanted a place to vent.
Obviously my issues aren't as serious as some of yours(at least not anymore), but I just wanted a place to vent.
User 479360
Banned
My Cymbalta was upped from 60mg/day to 90mg/day today.
I think one of the worst feelings in the world is to love someone, want to be close to them, want to help them and to be physical, yet they don't want to do the same with you. Instead, they are sweet to so many other people and have physical relations with them and they proceed to deflect all of your advances and romantic gestures. However, you are so much a part of their lives you cannot leave or imagine yourself with another person either romantically or physically and to also feel fulfilled and satisfied.
Well, weaned down from 20mg to 10mg on Lexapro/Cipralex (my original prescription) and definitely feeling like I'm slipping back into old habits and thought patterns. Very little energy to do anything, and kind of feeling generally hopeless, spending most days sleeping with no drive to get things done. Even had a couple of episodes of suicidal ideation, which hasn't happened in months. Coming in on my third month of unsuccessful job hunting isn't doing my sense of self-worth any favours, either.
I guess Cipralex was working more than I thought, but the side effects still weren't worth it. Planning on booking an appointment with the doc in the next week.
I guess Cipralex was working more than I thought, but the side effects still weren't worth it. Planning on booking an appointment with the doc in the next week.
Saw my psychiatrist today. We bumped up my Zoloft dosage from 100mg to 150mg. I definitely felt more of a boost going from 25-50mg than from 50-100mg, and my anxiety seems to still a lot better than it used to be although I haven't really "tested it" much yet. I've been feeling a bit shitty off and on lately and I figured upping the dose might help a bit. She said I may have just plateaued and that it may not have any effect, but I really wasn't too keen on switching over to another medication like Effexor that has some scary sounding withdrawal symptoms.
It's been 3 hours and I've only managed to make two pages of notes from 10/38 pages for a single chapter of chemistry. Now I feel so overwhelmed and slow that it'll probably be morning by the time I finish the chapter. I don't have any more time to procrastinate either. I have a test next Thursday on 3 possibly 4 chapters. I have to make notes from every chapter and then attempt the problems in the book and I just feel I can't do it. My brain moves slower than a snail's pace. When did I become so stupid?
Wow I was kinda low, huh?
I did end up reaching out. Or rather, had reaching out forced on me because I opened up to the wrong person who proceeded to freak out and spread my business errrrrwhere. Lesson learned.
I am doing better though. Still not good, but better. Just trying to maintain until my insurance is worked out and I can go about finding a new therapist. Til then, I guess it's the usual of trying to distract myself and remain as numb as possible. Not a perfect solution - hell, not a solution at all - but it's all I got at this moment.
Evil Monkey DTT
Banned
I feel numb, just physically numb and I honestly think with clarity that suicide might be the answer. It's not going to get better it never does and I'm foolish thinking it ever will. Right now the only thing I'm holding out for are the meds, next week would be the start of me taking antidepressants and I'm hoping they help. But honestly pills or no pills I don't see the point, I'm a human failure with no future and I'm just waiting for everyone who says they care about me to leave me and admit I was a disappointment.
Social anxiety kicked in again today and I completely blew another job interview. I hate this so much considering I seriously need to get some sort of job for the summer.
I always fall apart if you put someone in power in front of me. I know I would do a lot better if they got the janitor to interview me.
*sigh*
I always fall apart if you put someone in power in front of me. I know I would do a lot better if they got the janitor to interview me.
*sigh*
Yep. Never trust a woman that leaves you 'to focus on herself and be single' because it's a fucking lie. They always find someone else.
Awesome. Drank again last night. Didn't get shitty or anything, and there's no hangover. But now I get to talk about it in my group therapy tonight and they'll recommend EVEN MORE therapy, which in turn makes me want to drink, because I'm pissed off the entire time I'm there. fuck yeah
SturokBGD
Member
Hey depression GAF.
So after something like 20 years of struggling mostly on my own I've finally taken the steps of seeking out professional help, opening up to my wife about it, and getting some close friends and co-workers in the loop.
Somehow this has made me feel so much worse. It's highly distressing.
It's like... I've fought so hard to try keeping this to myself for all these years (which has caused many other problems but that's another story), now that the cat is out of the bag I just want it GONE. I'm getting quite alarmed at how the opposite of what I thought would happen is happening. Best I can think of is that maybe because I've fought so damn hard all these years to keep myself together that now that I'm not trying so hard to hide it I'm somehow just not fighting anymore so the dog just stomps me.
I feel quite sorry for my wife right now.
So after something like 20 years of struggling mostly on my own I've finally taken the steps of seeking out professional help, opening up to my wife about it, and getting some close friends and co-workers in the loop.
Somehow this has made me feel so much worse. It's highly distressing.
It's like... I've fought so hard to try keeping this to myself for all these years (which has caused many other problems but that's another story), now that the cat is out of the bag I just want it GONE. I'm getting quite alarmed at how the opposite of what I thought would happen is happening. Best I can think of is that maybe because I've fought so damn hard all these years to keep myself together that now that I'm not trying so hard to hide it I'm somehow just not fighting anymore so the dog just stomps me.
I feel quite sorry for my wife right now.
When I first started therapy, I felt like total dogshit. As it started to get better, so did I. I think most times it gets worse before it gets better.
For me now, I've somehow looped back to it being shitty again. So...yeah. But I'm happy to see you're taking steps. I imagine your wife will get there eventually - if she's supportive then she should be happy that you're getting the help you need.
I just don't get it.
There is nothing to get. Women like that are worth NO ONE's time.
SpaceShark
Member
It's often because people don't have the courage to be honest when ending a relationship. People change all the time, and fall out of love, or whatever, and while it would be great if they could be honest about their reasons, it takes a strength that a lot don't have.
I know it really hurts when you're on the receiving end, but it doesn't make them bad people. It makes them flawed, fallible people, just like everyone else.
Yeah I've been guilty of doing this a few times myself because I didn't want them asking what was wrong with them. Those were never serious relationships though, just flings where the girl would start to want more. More often than not it had something to do with their looks or weight, as shallow as that sounds.
There's nothing wrong with that. If you're not physically attracted to them, then don't bother. People seem to frown on such a thing, but it is undeniable that it is a part of overall attraction. It fades in time, yes, but initially it is important.
Very true post. Well said.
I've been disrespectful and not given good reasons in breakups... I deeply regret it with my ex.
It does help to be straightforward with the reason for the breakup so the person will know what to change about themselves for future relationships instead of making the same mistake.
Northeastmonk
Gold Member
My mother was like this at her last job. She was fired a year from now. She came home a couple days after I had been back from school. She was unemployed for a year or so. It's strange because I had this feeling like one of these days she was going to be let go. It was an awful experience. She blamed the people at work and I had no idea why they let her go either. She was a hard worker, but she worked there for years. She was working there when I was in high school. It pretty much supported everyone. I helped her out when she needed it and I believed she could do better. Now today she has had multiple calls from employers, but I think it still gets to her. I think she still feels like her previous employer was some sort of enemy. I think they treated her cruelly and let her go for no reason at all. She was making quite a lot too. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't give up. There's a whole other life ready to begin somewhere else. You can always work hard and fail, but keep trying. If that means putting in over 100 different resumes then that's what it takes. Just don't give in because one day an opening will appear for you. Life won't be the same either once you find it, so keep pushing.
My depression comes from many years ago. Probably after my parents divorced. I started having really bad anger issues. Anger issues to the point of counseling, mad at my parents, and going to get meds from a doctor. I was probably 17 when I stopped taking meds like Adderall, Lithium, Welburtrin, etc. I was being told I had this and I had that. I think they thought I had bipolar at a young age, but I ended up worse off on the medication. The last time they were all okay with me not taking meds and they didn't think I was bipolar at all. I just have problems with anger. I get depressed because I get discouraged and I'm not happy about life. I get lazy and I wait to try to fix my problems. I think I just caught up with people around me. I didn't feel like myself. I don't think I'm severely depressed at the moment, but I don't feel like I'm really happy either. I've been through the meat grinder with depression. I went through therapy and rehab for addictions I didn't even have. When you're a teenager you say anything and everything just to get attention. I sort of grew out of that and I'm just trying to find something I can be happy about. I don't talk to the people at school. Once that's all over it's over. One thing I need to keep working on is my anger. I'll say things sometimes that don't really help anyone. They're just meant to be mad about something. I'm not violent, but I just get mad and I want to argue.
It definitely does. A big part of that relationship's problems were my insecurities and I never told her that. Then too much time passed where it'd probably be more hurtful to contact her again... yea, regrets.
I'm glad to hear that you're now seeking help, and are no longer keeping your problems a secret. Once I got used to the idea of being open about it, and talking these things out properly, it felt like a big weight had been lifted from me
Looking back, I can comfortably say that there were no plus sides for me keeping all my problems to myself, and refusing to even properly accept and acknowledge them. I hope your own experience ends up being similar, and wish you the best of luck with professional help.
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