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My best friend forgot my birthday

It's really not hard to recognize that a lot of people use the significance of an exact calendar year as an anchor through which to make a special note of it. Is there any particular problem with that?

I'll call my parents and wish them a happy birthday. I'll accept their well wishes the same, but I don't particularly care for it. But if you're the sort that thinks it's your special day and get all huffy about others perhaps not getting the memo, I do find that quite nauseous.
 
I'll call my parents and wish them a happy birthday. I'll accept their well wishes the same, but I don't particularly care for it. But if you're the sort that thinks it's your special day and get all huffy about others perhaps not getting the memo, I do find that quite nauseous.

The bolded is true, with others' lives being as busy as they are, unless there's any particular expectation to remember someone's birthday it should be assumed that any given person will not remember.

I was speaking more in general terms. The general sentiment in this thread is that the only "mature" thing to do is to not care how long you've lived, which in itself comes off as completely immature since people take significance of their birthday for more reasons beyond the significance that a child assigns to their birthday. I'm saying that there ARE perfectly healthy, mature reasons that adults give significance to their birthdays, and other mature adults at the very least can recognize that rather than making sweeping generalizations like "if you care about your birthday you're a child".
 
The other week there was the thread about the "friends" dead dad and how said "friend" wasn't grieving properly. Now this.

When did we become such a self obsessed and narcissistic society.

You give to give not to receive. You've proven the extent of your friendship by not being able to bring it up with your friend if indeed it means that much to you

I'm struggling to believe the validity of this post. I refuse to believe people like the OP exist in real life.

Feels like asshole GAF is in full force or it's just another American thing. I dont know, never heard of reactions like these. Here in Germany it's not taking on birthdays but also giving like serving some cake in the office and all and getting invited for dinner and drinks. Feels like many lonely people in here that never felt like somebody cared about them, but it's GAF and videogames I am not totally surprised. Some really hard Men in here that surely get all the women all the time with their attitude in here or that are working the dream /s
 
Feels like asshole GAF is in full force or it's just another American thing. I dont know, never heard of reactions like these. Here in Germany it's not taking on birthdays but also giving like serving some cake in the office and all and getting invited for dinner and drinks. Feels like many lonely people in here that never felt like somebody cared about them, but it's GAF and videogames I am not totally surprised. Some really hard Men in here that surely get all the women all the time with their attitude in here or that are working the dream /s

My thoughts exactly. Whenever I read 'social threads' on neogaf and see how people tackle these issues, I get a bit of cancer.
 
I don't give a fuck about a gift actually, if he congratulated me without a gift I wouldn't be bothered at all.

Then why did you need to add that info in the OP and why aren't you talking to your friend instead of us... 3 months later.


Feels like asshole GAF is in full force or it's just another American thing. I dont know, never heard of reactions like these. Here in Germany it's not taking on birthdays but also giving like serving some cake in the office and all and getting invited for dinner and drinks. Feels like many lonely people in here that never felt like somebody cared about them, but it's GAF and videogames I am not totally surprised. Some really hard Men in here that surely get all the women all the time with their attitude in here or that are working the dream /s

This is a thread about the OP being upset about their friend forgetting their birthday... 3 months ago... and this is thread about an OP that has not once brought it up with his friend.

I think it's funny you call this asshole GAF and then call those people loners who must not have anyone who loves them in their life...
 
Get used to it. Probably just didn't look at FB that day or the day before so he didn't realize.

No one has bdays memorized anymore for anyone outside of immediate family or SO.

People seriously do even forget their SOs bday.
 
No I'm just gonna congratulate him if he thinks of it then fine if not I'll let it go, I don't make a big deal out of the actual event, but I don't want best friends and family to forget I don't forget theirs either. I did not treat him any differently because of this it's not like I'm mad at him it just bothers me that he forgot. Maybe stuff like this is more important in my culture (I'm from Austria), but practically anyone I know would mind if their best friend forgot. You HOPE he cuts me out of his life? Wishing stuff like this based on the info in this thread makes me think you're a pretty shitty person and friend.

If NeoGAF user Bagels, a very close friend of mine whom I consider family, forgot to wish me a happy birthday it would absolutely upset me. I wouldn't sit on that feeling for three goddamn months, fire up my personal computer or smartphone device, and make a post on NeoGAF.com where the very first thing I mention is 'I got him an amazing brass pen imported from a small studio in Amsterdam for his birthday, fuck this shit.' I'd instead tell my good friend Bagels, lover of moxie, that he had hurt my feelings by neglecting my special day and we'd work it out. Like friends. Like adults.

After fifteen years of friendship.
After 5,475 estimated days of being the best of buds.

You cannot move past the fact that he forgot once to say Happy Birthday? You won't and haven't talked to him about it after THREE MONTHS? Imagine if he saw this thread and knew it was you? You have let it sit in the back of your mind and had the emotion build all this time until you fired off your frustrations into the infinite void that is the internet. It is silly.

If this is how you handle your close relationships, I do hope he moves beyond your friendship. God forbid what other grudges you're holding on to. Perhaps he once bumped shoulders with you and didn't say excuse me. Maybe he made you use the third party PlayStation controller and that still haunts your every waking thought.
 
Then why did you need to add that info in the OP and why aren't you talking to your friend instead of us... 3 months later.




This is a thread about the OP being upset about their friend forgetting their birthday... 3 months ago... and this is thread about an OP that has not once brought it up with his friend.

I think it's funny you call this asshole GAF and then call those people loners who must not have anyone who loves them in their life...

It was a General comment about people saying "dont give a shit about birthdays lol I am so mature" which had nothing to do with the OP complaining 3 months later. It still stands because people tried to ridicule that part. It was never about the 3 months which is of course stupid on his part that he hasnt mentioned that to his best friend. Thanks. Feel loved. And yeah I am calling out assholes that tell me to grow up. See that "my friends dad died and is enjoying vacation I hate that!!" thread which was also ridiculous.
 
Has he forgotten it before? Some people are just bad with remembering birthdays.

Only reason I'm able to remember my old best friend's birthday is that his is exactly 6 months from mine. If I don't have something like that to "hold" onto, so to speak, its hard for me to remember for most of them.

Family's an exception though.
 
Getting to live to an old age isn't something to be taken for granted. Or at least, it shouldn't. If you do take it for granted, don't pretend that it's "maturity".
I don't really give a fuck about living to an old age. A birthday is a birthday. Nothing more, nothing less.
 
Has he forgotten it before? Some people are just bad with remembering birthdays.

Only reason I'm able to remember my old best friend's birthday is that his is exactly 6 months from mine. If I don't have something like that to "hold" onto, so to speak, its hard for me to remember for most of them.

Family's an exception though.
Dude I remember family and only four of my good friends one cause his is 31st December other is 14th February . The other two are literally one week after and one week before my own . And I sometimes forget to call my own family and call,a day late . Op is being silly as hell.
 
Being reminded of your ex every year sounds like a nightmare if it didn't work out amicably. But I'm guessing in your case it did.
Yeah we were together for 7 years, had plenty of ups and downs but things ended on decent terms. We're still great friends.
 
Maybe it has something to do with you doing assholish things like that?

"I told people the wrong birthday and they wished me happy birthday on that day the absolute madmen hahahaha"

I don't really give a fuck about living to an old age. A birthday is a birthday. Nothing more, nothing less.

Congrats for you, thankfully not everyone's as edgy as you are. It has nothing to do with an absolute measurement of maturity.
 
One of my best friends got so addicted to weed that he treated me like complete trash when I stopped selling to him and now we don't really talk anymore. Sorry dude.
 
Lol, I don't know the birthdays of any of my friends until Facebook reminds me and even then I don't use Facebook that often so I still might forget... Birthdays are such a non-issue once you are an adult unless it is a big one like 50....
 
Only birthday I remember is my moms cuz its 1-1. I'd be fucked without Facebook reminders and I have long stretches without checking Facebook so...
 
I've forgotten my own birthday before, it ain't important to some people. Or rather, I just didn't pay attention to what day of the month it was, I don't really sit in anticipation for it when it gets near.
 
If I don't have an electronic reminder, I will forget any birthday. Remembering small facts does not make a friendship.
 
I got him Bloodborne for his last bd fuck this shit, most people who congratulate me I couldn't care less about, but when your best friend (and I'm talking best friends since I can think back) forgets it kinda stings. It was back in February and just now I thought of it again and am pissed off again.

thanks lol it was in February though

well yeah as soon as I posted the inital text I realized I'm gonna get birthday wishes so I added it what's the big deal?

well I gave him time to think of it himself, his bd is coming up he's gotta think of it when I congratulate him.

I really don't make a big deal out of my birthday no party nothing, but for the last 15 years my best friend and I always thought of it and there were always proper gifts so this year for the first time he forgot is it so weird that it bothers me?

nah I actually forgot about it for a while until now.

No I'm just gonna congratulate him if he thinks of it then fine if not I'll let it go, I don't make a big deal out of the actual event, but I don't want best friends and family to forget I don't forget theirs either. I did not treat him any differently because of this it's not like I'm mad at him it just bothers me that he forgot. Maybe stuff like this is more important in my culture (I'm from Austria), but practically anyone I know would mind if their best friend forgot. You HOPE he cuts me out of his life? Wishing stuff like this based on the info in this thread makes me think you're a pretty shitty person and friend.

I don't give a fuck about a gift actually, if he congratulated me without a gift I wouldn't be bothered at all.

Well it's good that you didn't let it get to you.
 
Why are you so mad about this?

Do you have a crush on your friend? Are there any lingering feelings?

Because the last time I felt like you did was over a crush and I was 14.
 
I've forgotten many birthdays because I'm horrible with dates, my relatives have also forgotten a lot of mine and I don't make a big deal out of it. Also as you grow older, get a job, have your own family etc. it's much easier to forget. :)
 
Forgot my mom's birthday once.

NEVER AGAIN

I forgot my mum's birthday last year. This year I was determined to remember it, I wrote down the day in my calendar. On the morning of I messaged my mum with a happy birthday message (she lives in another country and I don't have time in the morning to make a call).

My mum messaged me back thanking me and letting me know her birthday was two days from then.

I misread the message and sent her a new message the next day wishing her a happy birthday.

(I did get it right in the end)
 
This is turning out to be one of those threads where the OP hasn't actually said or done anything egregious but there are just enough assholes responding on the first page, it leads to a dogpile because that's what's people do for fun here.

OP, I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 14, I am turning 25 this year, but I understand where you're coming from. It's not about the gifts or the obligatory congratulations, it's about knowing people you care about also care about you, and while I don't want to assume anything about your best friend, I know it must suck to feel forgotten like that and maybe subconsciously have to question the dynamics of your friendship. That can be a scary thing because you obviously are close to this person, so you might not want to confront them because of that and so many other reasons that you think might seem petty, but it's nothing to be ashamed about, no matter how much some here are obviously trying to shame you, it's okay to be bothered by people acting inconsiderately as your best friend did. You have every right to be bothered by something that hurts your feelings and if you want to walk to your best friend about it, I suggest you do.

My two cents.

Also, belated happy birthday.
 
Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.

But in all seriousness, that sucks OP. I mean, I don't really care about my birthday that much, but it would sting if all the really close people in my life forgot about it.
 
I don't give a fuck about a gift actually, if he congratulated me without a gift I wouldn't be bothered at all.

What stage of life are you guys at? Young (18_21ish), living with parents? Mid 20's working etc? Partnered up living with SO? Kids?

I dont really know my closest friends birthdays to well. Infact i sometimes forget my own age. But im 35 married with kid. My friends are in similar situations. If we remember we send a message and sometimes my closest friend and i might by each other a book or super cheap game but we dont care if the miss it. The only person i like to remember is my wife because we just let each other basically have a day off doing moat the parenting lol.

The importance of birthdays changes to most people as you get older. Maybe he simply cares less about them now than you do? Try not to be angry about it and maybe just respond in kind. Not in a passive aggressive​ way though. Jusy accept maybe it's not ad big a deal as it once was so you should try not to worry about it.
 
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, and they don't do birthdays, so I never even pay attention to them, I just don't see the big deal. Hopefully nobody hates me for it.
 
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