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My Brother's Last Wish: To Leave a $500 Tip...For Pizza
- Thread starter Seth C
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I can understand that. The anger one might feel could outweigh the sympathy one might feel for the person's situation.
First off, Seth C, I really hope your situation gets better. I don't have siblings but I have had a couple of close cousins commit suicide. One of them succeeded and the other is now a vegetable for the rest of her life, which will basically be as long as her parents are willing to keep paying the hospital.
I can understand what you're going through, to a degree, so I really hope it gets better for you. For what it's worth, you seem to be taking it as well as anyone could hope to.
Take care of your mother, your brother and, most importantly, yourself.
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For the rest of you back seat philosophers and soapbox speakers: take all your shit out of this thread, please. You can easily hit the wonderful "New Thread" button and have a discussion about how the OP should feel, how his brother may have felt and whether OP and/or his brother are bad/misunderstood people in another thread, preferably one where a guy who isn't going to be in and out of the hospital for a while has to deal with your theories.
I can understand what you're going through, to a degree, so I really hope it gets better for you. For what it's worth, you seem to be taking it as well as anyone could hope to.
Take care of your mother, your brother and, most importantly, yourself.
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For the rest of you back seat philosophers and soapbox speakers: take all your shit out of this thread, please. You can easily hit the wonderful "New Thread" button and have a discussion about how the OP should feel, how his brother may have felt and whether OP and/or his brother are bad/misunderstood people in another thread, preferably one where a guy who isn't going to be in and out of the hospital for a while has to deal with your theories.
Hope so too, don't take it personal didn't want to sound like a dick, it's just that I never get that suicide is selfish (or what's even more stupid: cowardly) argument and why people are mad at the people who did it instead of wondering how they could have prevented it.
It's my opinion and not 'know it all bs'
LaserBuddha
Member
A++ post, should be reported in every suicide thread. I was disgusted with GAF when the cliche torrent of "You're selfish for not respecting his right to end his life" garbage started hitting on page one.
stufte
Member
Indeed.
Your attitude is quite disgusting, no matter what your opinion is.
Relationship-related depression is possibly the best argument for abstinence I've ever seen.
You become chemically addicted to a person, and the withdrawal, or even the thought of it, can be unbearable. I know that I would have preferred death at many points in my life.
My best wishes for your brother, and I hope he finds a new-found lease on life when he recovers.
You become chemically addicted to a person, and the withdrawal, or even the thought of it, can be unbearable. I know that I would have preferred death at many points in my life.
My best wishes for your brother, and I hope he finds a new-found lease on life when he recovers.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
This is almost as bad, to me, as "suicide is selfish". I have a problem with anyone who says either one.
This is probably true, I'm not gonna be unreasonable. I'm not sure if he can see this but I'll apologize if I came off hard on you. You have my sympathies and understanding, what I really meant was that I hope you are not "judging" him for anything. For your own good, I don't want you to have to deal with feeling guilty for such things. I've been in situations like this and I have never personally had anything other than grief and guilt come from it.
Hope we can start over and I hope the best for your family, including your brother.
I don't want to shit up the thread but I think it depends how you frame 'selfish'. Rationalizing that your current and foreseeable pain is somehow greater than everyone around you's pain from your loss seems inherently selfish (mental illness or not). I'm not indicating that all suicide IS selfish, but this type of thought comes off that way. Note that I'm talking about mental grief, not physical debilitation.
Is it selfish for my mother to want me to seek help in light of mental illness? To live through the pain and grow as a person even in agony? She doesn't want me to live to be in pain, she wants me to live to see a better day. (not my actual situation although I do suffer from clinical depression)
Learn2read
Member
Jesus Christ people, it's possible to have more than one reaction to something like this at the same. It's not a binary thing.
The Lamonster
Member
"But if you put ketchup on your hot dog you are doing it wrong!"
My ex-gfs grandfather shot himself I'm the head 5 days ago. He had trouble breathing and it kept getting worse and worse. The doctors found a significant amount of asbestos in his lungs the week prior. He said his goodbyes to everyone and shot himself in his car a block away from his last goodbye.
I don't consider suicide selfish at all. Some people truly believe that it's for the best. Sometimes there really isn't anything to help them. Believe me when I say that as I've had quite a few friends press the shutdown button as one of them explained it.
My condolences OP.
I don't consider suicide selfish at all. Some people truly believe that it's for the best. Sometimes there really isn't anything to help them. Believe me when I say that as I've had quite a few friends press the shutdown button as one of them explained it.
My condolences OP.
velvet_nitemare
Member
Wow, my condolences. Can't imagine what you must be going through.
PedroPanache
Member
That's a very cruel and thoughtless thing to say. It's a painful thing to witness and experience the after effects of a suicide attempt by someone close to you. Anger is a perfectly reasonable and human response in the aftermath of such an event.
Perhaps. I've never been on that end of it.
Even so, anyone who is making the argument that suicide is selfish is speaking from a position of ignorance. And they are lucky. If they had ever been that depressed, they would understand how he must have felt in those moments and the feelings that must have driven him to that point, and I would not wish that on anyone.
Forsaken82
Member
Not sure if this was answered, but out of curiosity, did you or your family see ANY signs what so ever that could have warned you that he may have been suicidal or is this something completely out of the blue?
JaseMath
Member
I'm not disagreeing with that but keep in mind that an immediate family member or close loved one is not going to feel empathy, its going to be terror and anger first and foremost. Seth C's reactions are understandable, especially seeing how his mother is taking it.
As I already said OP, please be strong and seek a therapist if need be.
Goddammit......
For all people:
http://dying.about.com/od/thedyingprocess/a/DABDA.htm
For men:
http://artofmanliness.com/2009/08/0...ery-man-should-know-about-losing-a-loved-one/
The tryingest times in people's lives and no one ever gets perspective anymore.... READ. LEARN. LIVES CAN BE AT STAKE..
Goddammit......
For all people:
http://dying.about.com/od/thedyingprocess/a/DABDA.htm
For men:
http://artofmanliness.com/2009/08/0...ery-man-should-know-about-losing-a-loved-one/
The tryingest times in people's lives and no one ever gets perspective anymore.... READ. LEARN. LIVES CAN BE AT STAKE..
I wasn't talking about the OP. As I said, I've never been on that end of it, and while I cannot imagine being angry about it, given that I can empathize with someone being in that state, I cannot say with certainty. I might well feel some sense of betrayal or bitterness. I think that's somewhat different, and while he might rationally know these things, grief makes you feel and say things you might otherwise not.
I was referring to people who were blithely making those judgments from the comfort of their computer screen. They speak out of ignorance.
It depends on how close you are. The closer you are and the more sensitive, for lack of a better term, a person is, the wider the range of emotions you can see. Sadness is easy, but anger is a little tough when you barely know a person or aren't that close. Suicidal thoughts and extreme rage are very easy when you are. These threads should really stop being about that though!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty solid on the fact that when a person tells you stuff like this a debate is absurd.
Seth C, best of luck to you, your brother and the rest of your family.
Anger is a perfectly normal emotion to have under the circumstances. I think people are reading way too much into it. My wife was angry with her mother when she died (which was not suicide, but she could have lived longer if she listened to doctors). Sometimes your emotions aren't entirely logical. You shouldn't need to justify your feelings anymore than your brother or your mother should. Hopefully when the time comes, you can all learn from this experience and move on without blame.
You can feel empathetic but still feel angry. Worse thing is then you start to feel guilty for feeling angry.
Anger is a perfectly normal emotion to have under the circumstances. I think people are reading way too much into it. My wife was angry with her mother when she died (which was not suicide, but she could have lived longer if she listened to doctors). Sometimes your emotions aren't entirely logical. You shouldn't need to justify your feelings anymore than your brother or your mother should. Hopefully when the time comes, you can all learn from this experience and move on without blame.
You can feel empathetic but still feel angry. Worse thing is then you start to feel guilty for feeling angry.
I'm sorry, but your avatar, I've played K7 too much not to recognize it.
I hope everything turns out okay! This all sounds terrible and I hope your brother makes it through.
I've had problems with depression but never thought about committing suicide. But now my brother is having those same problems and keeps telling my mom he is thinking about it. I'm not sure if he is serious or not because he still seems so young to me (15) but then again that's when I was depressed too. It sucks not knowing why be is having these feeling even when I ask him about it. I try to be nice and friendly with him but he mostly just pushes me away. Hopefully your brother makes it through so you can help him get to the root of the problem because I dont think breaking up with his girlfriend is the entire reason.
I've had problems with depression but never thought about committing suicide. But now my brother is having those same problems and keeps telling my mom he is thinking about it. I'm not sure if he is serious or not because he still seems so young to me (15) but then again that's when I was depressed too. It sucks not knowing why be is having these feeling even when I ask him about it. I try to be nice and friendly with him but he mostly just pushes me away. Hopefully your brother makes it through so you can help him get to the root of the problem because I dont think breaking up with his girlfriend is the entire reason.
Canis lupus
Member
I hope everythings all right, stay strong mate.
Anger is normal at this stage. My mother in law did the same whilst my partner was 6 months pregnant earlier this year but she succeeded. I was so angry, angry for putting my GF through the pain, angry at being selfish enough to go through with it.
But then you wonder how low they must have felt to go through with it with everything else going on in life. With all of the family still around you.
Eventually I think you come to accept it and think that they must have been in such a bad place and it's almost better that it's happened. I mean how bad must it have been to deprive yourself from seeing your first grand daughter.
But still. I think all you can do right now is support the rest of your family, realise that the anger is temporary and hope he pulls through.
But then you wonder how low they must have felt to go through with it with everything else going on in life. With all of the family still around you.
Eventually I think you come to accept it and think that they must have been in such a bad place and it's almost better that it's happened. I mean how bad must it have been to deprive yourself from seeing your first grand daughter.
But still. I think all you can do right now is support the rest of your family, realise that the anger is temporary and hope he pulls through.
CoffeeJanitor
Member
Sorry, man. Really hope he pulls through.
Truly an incredible piece of art. One of the best games I've ever played.
Seth, don't let any of the negative comments here get to you. With what you've gone through these past weeks you're stronger and less selfish than probably most of us here. You have my respect.
I wish you all the best of luck. Your brother is in the doctors' hands, so please be there to help your mom through this.
I wish you all the best of luck. Your brother is in the doctors' hands, so please be there to help your mom through this.
Nappuccino
Member
Here's hoping the best for your brother, you, and your family.
Don't concern yourself with the people taking a negative outlook on your actions/thoughts. Maybe they're right, maybe they're not (i would personally say not) but right now you're sorting through tons of feelings and emotions while trying to help keep your family's together. Vent as much as you need to because god know that isn't easy to keep inside.
Don't concern yourself with the people taking a negative outlook on your actions/thoughts. Maybe they're right, maybe they're not (i would personally say not) but right now you're sorting through tons of feelings and emotions while trying to help keep your family's together. Vent as much as you need to because god know that isn't easy to keep inside.
Oh, sorry. Mom just had an anxiety attack. She has been released from the ER. I think getting all that emotion out helped her, at least for now. She and my dad are visiting my brother right now. They aren't supposed to touch or really talk to him though, during this chilling treatment.
I can't cope with seeing him like that. I nearly collapsed when I went in there earlier. So I'm watching their things in the waiting area. Visiting time is almost over until 9pm.
You better not. I want to hear more of those intrumentals you posted a while back.
So sorry to hear that Seth. My brother battled depression for many years and in the back of my head I always worried about him taking his life. He never did thank god. I wouldn't know what I would do if he did. Get better, and be there for you brother when he gets better.
Please don't Sadsic. Your life is not meant to end this early. Keep making music, share it with us! Share it with the world!
Exactly. I've been there, and in that moment there are so many crazy emotions going through you that logical thinking goes right out the window. In certain ways, suicide is selfish, yes. But you can not blame someone for it. They're in a very VERY depressed or painful state and cannot think clearly about what their actions would lead to beyond their death. I didn't realize this until I was in a padded room with my entire immediate family, who hadn't been in the same room together for at least 8 years. Only then did I realize how much I would have lost.
So to the OP I say this: You may be upset, but don't think that your brother only cares about himself. He will realize how important his family is to him, and you need to be there for him to show him that he has a family that will always love and support him. My family was there for me every step of the way, and now I'm happier than I've ever been. Good luck bro. <3 I hope your brother makes a speedy recovery.
And to the people who are belittling the OP or his brother: you know what? Screw you. The OP and his family are going through a terrible situation and here you are being an asshole. You know who you are, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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