NO in the case of men, the woman does not have to convert over.
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My girlfriend would not date a Muslim
- Thread starter lawlohwhat
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NO in the case of men, the woman does not have to convert over.
In the case of saying "black person", yeah that sounds racist, I don't disagree there with your sentiment because they are specifically using language that discusses their race.
I do disagree on saying it is prejudiced or racist to dismiss dating people based on skin color alone, because that is a visual aesthetic.
If you're talking about skin color alone, and nothing more, then that spans many races and ethnicities and can be due to just visual aesthetic. It CAN also be due to racism, I don't blame someone lifting an eyebrow, but I do not believe it is automatically so.
For instance, let's say someone is willing to date someone who is racially an african american because they are lighter skin vs. someone who is darker skin. Is that really inherently racist?
Yup. I've met girls that really liked me but weren't really attracted to my dark skin and features. That's perfectly fine, everyone has a preference. They were very nice people to me regardless so I had no issue with them. I'm an Indian male and I've always gravitated towards white and Asian women. I've barely dated Indian and black women. Indian females are very beautiful, but it's so safe and boring. I'm not attracted to dark skinned black females and black females hair (I love silky hair). Does that make me racist? It's just a preference, everyone has them.
My gf is white and she's incredibly turned on by my darker skin and features. I find her green eyes, pale skin and long silky blonde hair very attractive. Everyone likes different things. I think that poster expressed his preference poorly.
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
Well in this case, OP'S girlfriend is not arguing her opinion on what she finds attractive. She doesn't agree with the religion and perhaps finds Muslim practices frightening because of her personal religious beliefs and recent events.
I don't agree with her argument or opinions on the matter, but it's very easy to be afraid of something you don't understand.
Lucky_Se7enty
Member
Just checked with my brother and your right, if a man marries a pious Jew or Christian then Islam doesn't require them to convert.
GameAddict411
Member
no offense, but your GF seems a bit dumb(if she is serious). tell her also that she is contradicting herself by being with you.
Welp, where's a popcorn.gif when you need one.
methane47
Member
That is completely opposite from what a local Imam explained to me a couple months ago when my muslim friend married his hindu girlfriend.
In fact, the first step in the muslim wedding was for the girl to perform a conversion to Islam, where she got a new name and everything.
Imam explained in order to have a muslim wedding the two ppl must be muslim.
(BTW i'm not refuting what you said, just pointing out what i learned from an imam)
Edit: From Wiki:
makes sense now
GameAddict411
Member
dude, the Quran didn't come a few decades ago. "Dating" in general would be a very foreign concept to them. even to europeans at the time. and yes muslims are not allowed to sit alone with a woman outside the family.
PistolGrip
sex vacation in Guam
I would date any religious person... does that make me a bigot?
Any? No, quite the opposite.
speculawyer
Member
So? People's religious views are very core to them. And if your religious views are very different, it is just not going to work.
Someone having a gender preference does more than this. It literally negates any possibility of dating someone based off another type of immutable characteristic. The number of people you exempt yourself from jumps from millions to billions. Just think about that.
Would it necessarily make me sexist if I said "I wouldn't date a man"?
Similarly, does it necessarily make sext0n racist when he says "I wouldn't date a black female"?
Perhaps there is a very easy distinction between these two immutable traits but I honestly don't see it. The answers to both questions appear to be either "yes and yes" or "no and no". Right now I'm sitting on "no and no". I do not see "no and yes" as tenable. Points to anyone who can defend the "no and yes" position.
Winterfang
Banned
I wouldn't date a Muslim neither. I don't see what's the problem, if you have different ideologies is just asking for trouble when you start to make a family.
http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=17&verse=32
Basically the verse means don't get near a situation where you might have some unlawful sexual relations (go not nigh). Dating would fall under many common interpretations.
You could say we'd make sure we didn't or whatever, but you're not really supposed to put yourself into a situation where you're close to fucking up, which makes sense really. Wasn't too tricky to google with a host of interpretations.
I realize what I said is probably controversial, it's the truth though and is my personal preference based on the female aesthetics I find myself drawn to. Everyone has them, few people are willing to be honest with themselves about them. I have dated Indian and black females, so they aren't set in stone but I find myself drawn to certain females with specific physical features for the most part.
Spring-Loaded
Member
Ignoring whether it's dumb to have religious requirements for spouses, and how hypocritical it is to date someone who doesn't follow a religion yet be against dating someone of a different faith... the above is really, really dumb.
Muslims and Christians worship the same god though
OP's girlfriend is dating him, a possible agnostic
The genetic diversity of black people, namely african people would already make one unified hairtype for "black" people completely and utterly wrong. But the fact that a generally wrong statement is used as a qualitative tool for deciding who merits attraction is where the problem begins.
Its like saying "I'm not attracted to white people noses or asain eyes". Thats fucked up man.
Maybe she mans that there would be a clash between religious ideologies, however that breaks down with being ok dating someone Jewish. With her dating the op who isn't religious, there's no worry that he'll try to convert her to another religion or there being tensions in the relationship due to different religions.
marimorimo
Member
Thank you for sharing your experience. That's the kind of feedback I wanted to hear. May I ask if you are from a family of immigrants and if yes, do you still have ties to the home country?
methane47
Member
Human sexuality is a completely reasonable and justified characteristic.
Human Sexuality but with exclusion of a specific skin tone is NOT a reasonable OR justifiable in anyway.
speculawyer
Member
Well, that may be your view but a LOT of people don't agree with that statement.
Lmao what the fuck is this
On topic, I'm not sure I'd date someone who was extremely religious, just cuz our beliefs might not jive and that's a bummer, but if they just had a light interest or weren't super strict about following every rule, that's cool. My GF is Muslim, I'm not, and things are working out just fine with us
Spring-Loaded
Member
Sure, that is all probably the case. If the OP was right though and that was where her problem rose from, then it doesn't make sense. Of course, she can just say whatever to justify this requirement.
Most black people have tough hair, unless they wear wigs or are mixed and even then their hair tends to be coarser than that of white, Asian and Indian people. I've got no issue with that overall, black women with big fros are pretty boss. I also think that that type of hair type is very attractive on black males. It's just not something I'm all that attracted to on females if I had to be honest. If someone said they weren't attracted to Asians due to their eyes, I wouldn't be offended. That may be their preference, that doesnt make them a racist.
Would it be justifiable if a bisexual/pansexual person said "I wouldn't date any person that has a ____ skin tone"?
So what you are telling me is that you haven't met most black people. Good to know.
And you realize that basing your attraction to people from caricatures on an entire group is fucked up right?
If not, you just might be racist.
I disagree. Human sexuality is so complex and odd to say one should be open to all skin tones. What someone finds personally attractive can at times even be completely arbitrary, so a major aspect of human aesthetic shouldn't be off limits in my opinion provided that its nothing more than look. Some people like girls only who are skinny and have a flat stomach. I mean, what is that. That's some weird shit. Sure, that's not limited to a single race, anyone can be really skinny, but there shouldn't be a surprise that hey, certain skin tones are not to someone's taste.
Deified Data
Banned
While I disagree with her reasoning (which is flawed - philosophically she likely has more in common with a devout Muslim than the agnostic OP), I see nothing wrong with someone with firm religious convictions preferring to date someone that shares their convictions. Instead of going headlong into such an arrangement perhaps it's best to nip those irreconcilable differences in the bud before feelings get involved - I'd say the same thing to someone who wants kids considering dating someone who doesn't. As I said earlier though, OP's girlfriend's reasoning is flawed. She might find she has more in common with Muslims than she thinks.
I suppose this is why specialty dating sites for specific religions exist - it'd probably be easier to find someone there than hope some random guy on the street has the same religious beliefs as you.
I suppose this is why specialty dating sites for specific religions exist - it'd probably be easier to find someone there than hope some random guy on the street has the same religious beliefs as you.
Well, irreligiousness can as easily create tensions with religion.
Well said.
You got these two mixed up champ.
MasterChef420
Banned
I wouldnt date a musim either, I'll pass on getting honor killed along with her.
Nealand Liquor
Member
Are black women who don't date white men racist?
Just curious since I've read many users here post that black women won't date white men.
On topic: I wouldn't date any christian, jew, muslim, ect that follows their religion to the word. I like premarital sex, drugs and alcohol, along with other hedonistic practices, too much to sacrifice. If someone believes in a religion that is cool with me, if that means I can't get a sloppy drunk BJ then I'm out.
Sexuality and attraction has a ton of weird factors. Even if an individual has some crazy prejudice against a certain group and that warps their entire perception of what is and isn't attractive... then so what? Who is to say they should be more willing to date outside their preference? Why should they have to? I mean it's terrible, but forcing people to date someone they find unattractive for whatever reason isn't any better just because of some moral stance. If love and sexuality were completely rational then I doubt so many people would have issues with it.
irfaanator
Banned
sorry, I was in a meeting but I do remember that they would spend easter/christmas with their mom side of the family. I also remembered of a 3rd family that I knew of, but I don't know how they did family stuff
AuthenticM
Member
I think any person who says they would never date a person of a certain ethnicity has to be racist. I don't see how they could justify it otherwise.
I think people do not understand the situation when they claim that because she chose to date an Agnostic her reasons for not dating a Muslim due to the VERY different ways of worship is somehow unjustifyable.
Let's be realistic here. The OP says he is agnostic. But what does that mean to her and their relationship.
What it means is that she can celebrate all of her Christian customs and celebrations and he will have no problem participating but also understand how it works. It means that if there is to be a dominant religious thought in the household it will be a Christian one because most likey the OP was raised or is very familiar with Chrisitianity. It basically means that when it comes to adapting culture from someones religion or passing on that religion to the kids she won't have to worry about him brining anything different to the table. It will be a Chistian houshold with most likely Christian kids.
Now if she married a devout Muslim what does this mean for her relationship.
She would have to compromise with her siginificant other a lot more religiously. She may have to participate in or witness religious practices that she might not agree with and definately have little familiarity with. She most likely will get into conflict about what religion the kids will be and have in laws that may not be happy with her religion and add strain to their marriage.
Basically she is playing it safe being with a most likely former Christian/Agnostic. At worst she just tones down her faith in the household and at best she gets a relationship where she doesn't have to compromise ANYTHING religiously because her spouse is indifferent. Significantly different then being with someone of a different faith.
I am speaking from experience. I have dated all kinds of women and am currently married to a Russian/German Jew. I am a Puerto Rican Catholic. One reason we work is because I am a very very bad Catholic and she isn't the best Jew. She isn't kosher and we don't focus on our subtle differences and more on our similiarities. It also helps that we aren't religious at all, especially me.
Let's be realistic here. The OP says he is agnostic. But what does that mean to her and their relationship.
What it means is that she can celebrate all of her Christian customs and celebrations and he will have no problem participating but also understand how it works. It means that if there is to be a dominant religious thought in the household it will be a Christian one because most likey the OP was raised or is very familiar with Chrisitianity. It basically means that when it comes to adapting culture from someones religion or passing on that religion to the kids she won't have to worry about him brining anything different to the table. It will be a Chistian houshold with most likely Christian kids.
Now if she married a devout Muslim what does this mean for her relationship.
She would have to compromise with her siginificant other a lot more religiously. She may have to participate in or witness religious practices that she might not agree with and definately have little familiarity with. She most likely will get into conflict about what religion the kids will be and have in laws that may not be happy with her religion and add strain to their marriage.
Basically she is playing it safe being with a most likely former Christian/Agnostic. At worst she just tones down her faith in the household and at best she gets a relationship where she doesn't have to compromise ANYTHING religiously because her spouse is indifferent. Significantly different then being with someone of a different faith.
I am speaking from experience. I have dated all kinds of women and am currently married to a Russian/German Jew. I am a Puerto Rican Catholic. One reason we work is because I am a very very bad Catholic and she isn't the best Jew. She isn't kosher and we don't focus on our subtle differences and more on our similiarities. It also helps that we aren't religious at all, especially me.
Metallix87
Member
Ummm... what?
eudaemonic
Member
Yeah, this is what I thought too. I don't find it too controversial. I'm pretty anti any deity so I'd never expect anyone who was hardcore into a religion to want to date me (and vice versa). It just wouldn't be ideal for a respectful relationship.
What about non-religious people?
I'm an atheist though, so the feeling would probably be mutual. They would either have to hide something they consider important to themselves which wouldn't be healthy for a relationship, or at minimum take a much less hard line on how real they think their mythology is. Some people aren't "true believers" but still keep some traditions and find some wisdom in whatever teachings has been passed down to them. I'm cool with that, as I keep some Christian traditions and more universally applicable philosophy/lessons from Christian stories (I'm a former evangelical Christian, though family comes primarily from Catholic, Methodist, and Mormon roots).
This is pretty true, currently dating a Jewish girl and we've had discussions over how we would end up getting married. I'm like... a Sunday Catholic at best. After the club Sunday Catholic, but I've never dealt with the Jewish faith or rabbis in general. She similarly hasn't done anything religious, temple or otherwise... in like years. Still, it became a question of compromises on each side.
I won't take a rabbi or be married in a temple because well, I don't know anything about them. She won't take a priest or church for similar reasons. Both of our families are pretty religious so they'd probably have issues too.
Compromise to a beach or garden setting with one of our friends who has the ability to marry people in our state, cool! Next up, kids... which is a whole other bag. etc etc etc.
gutter_trash
Banned
I'm a non-religious supposed to be Catholic and I would not date an devout Muslim either nor a devout Jew, nor a devout Baptist Evangelical.
I live a secular life. Religion plays no roll in my life. To me, Holidays are more ''cultural'' than anything else. Bu-bu-bu-but you celebrate Christmas?!!! I wouldn't consider Santa Claus, Reindeer and candy canes as religious, lol
If I am to have children, I want them to be able to enjoy bacon.
I live a secular life. Religion plays no roll in my life. To me, Holidays are more ''cultural'' than anything else. Bu-bu-bu-but you celebrate Christmas?!!! I wouldn't consider Santa Claus, Reindeer and candy canes as religious, lol
If I am to have children, I want them to be able to enjoy bacon.
excellent question! we are mostly way too SP for the scientoligists
TheRealTalker
Banned
I can't judge or say who is a muslim and who is not
That is something Allah handles alone and no one else... Not even Prophets
I am just surprised that it is so common
Yeah Surah Nisah
methane47
Member
See but the key thing that you guys are missing is that Human Sexuality is about Attractiveness. So you are stating what you would NORMALLY like under perfect circumstances.
Normally i'm attracted to thin girls... but that doesn't mean i actively DISLIKE fat ones.
Normally straight men are attracted to women, but put them in a jail cell surrounded by men for 10 years and who knows, things might change.
When you are saying you would never date a black person this is actively EXCLUDING someone.
And Excluding someone, or judging someone based on that kind of characteristic is messed up.
So then you need to also consider being black isn't all about skin tone, And in some instances White folk can have a darker complexion than "Black" folk because of tans.
And in other cases "black" woman can have features so similar to white women that you can't even tell the difference
like with Meagan Markle, or Mariah Carey
So if black women can have complexions equal to or lighter than white women in some instances.
AND black women can also have features similar to stereotypical anglo features.
What EXACTLY is it about Black women as a whole group of hundreds of millions of women that you actively Dislike?
Do you truly Dislike
And her
And everything In between? Really?
Edit: Not saying "you" as in the quoted just saying "you" as the theoretical person who would "not" date a black girl
Miles Quaritch
Member
http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=17&verse=32
Basically the verse means don't get near a situation where you might have some unlawful sexual relations (go not nigh). Dating would fall under many common interpretations.
You could say we'd make sure we didn't or whatever, but you're not really supposed to put yourself into a situation where you're close to fucking up, which makes sense really. Wasn't too tricky to google with a host of interpretations.
See, a lot of that seems open to interpretation. The gazing could be interpreted as don't stare and you don't always have to have sex when you're dating. I have lots of experience in this department, let me tell you....
Still, seems the Qu'ran might be in need of some modernising, similar to that the Bible went through. I understand that people see it as a literal word of God that might not be possible, but it also seems there might be enough modern progressive in Islam would could start to push for something like this.
A preference that sees her specifically single out Muslims but prefer Jews? They do share a lot of similarities, pretty sure they share more similarities than Christianity and Judaism.
That's fair enough, but then she goes on to say she'd date Jews. Seems strange to me is all...
But many people do dislike the look of fat women. I personally have a cut off point, depending on height, of about 220ish pounds (which is already rather plump, but I like plump women). Anything above that is not attractive to me. But that is personal. I do not tell other people whether they are objectively attractive or not, as there is no formula for that.
I did not say I would never date a black person. Personally I would not date someone who is particularly dark, due to a lack of personal attraction. I will not say they are not attractive, they are simply not attractive to me. Again, there is a big distinction there.
I don't find heavily tanned girls attractive, regardless of race. If a Caucasian young lady naturally had very dark skin, I would not personally find that appealing to my particular taste.
Yes, which is a point I brought up earlier. There are plenty of racially black people who have skins tones I find attractive. So is that automatically racist? I do not believe so.
As I stated earlier, I never said I didn't find black women attractive specifically. I do not find women with dark complexions attractive personally. Many are very beautiful. If a person of a particular race suddenly had lighter skin, I would find them more attractive, regardless of their actual race.
Do you truly Dislike
Gorgeous. I would take lots of photos of her if I knew her especially to draw and paint since she is an incredible beauty. I wouldn't date her though. She sure as hell wouldn't date me though probably for a multitude or reasons. So, its not like I feel there is a natural trait that light skinned peoples have that is superior to dark skinned people, just a personal preference. Again, nothing to do with actual race, though sadly the trait is shared often by people of certain races more often than others.
And her
And everything In between? Really?
I would find her attractive, regardless of actual race. See, that's the part that I disagree with it being naturally racist, as I would date people of that race if their skin tone was one I found attractive. Let's say they were both sisters from the same household, I would date the latter over the former if I made a judgment solely on looks. This does not mean I believe one is objectively more beautiful than the other. The top image would be considered more beautiful by a lot of people.
I still feel it was necessary to specify I did not state I would not date a black woman seeing as how you specifically quoted me and then are asking these kinds of questions.
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