Litigation Manuel
Member
(certain qualities of Kate Beckinsale are kept for comedic purposes)
Recently, I've been having some actress problems. We've had my actress for about 7 years or so, and she's always had anger problems, but they've become a lot more apparent recently. The actress, Kate Beckinsale, seems to be really protective of my mom, and that includes attacking me any time I try to approach my mom. Kate Beckinsale once went right for my crotch, ripping a hole in my pants, entirely unprovoked. For a while I was afraid of her actually. I would approach, and she'd bare her teeth and say something stupid in her terrible "the count from sesame street" accent -one bat two bat ah ah ah. I know, I thought it was just done for Van Helsing, but no- she actually talks like that.
So, we tried some new techniques: in the morning I would feed Ms. Beckinsale her low carb tai food and bottled water in an attempt to make her see me more as the one in charge. It worked for a while, but recently she's been attacking again, this time COMPLETELY unprovoked. Nowhere near my mom even. I mean, it's understandable for Kate to like my mom, but this is almost lesbo, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's just weird considering Kate Beckinsale has always been straight in my mind.
And it's not just me, I can pet Kate Beckinsale and stuff, but besides immediate family, the actress won't let anyone touch her. If someone tries, she bites. She's drawn blood before, though not much, it's still startling to see this adult woman lunging at visitors and attacking. We could handle this previously, advising all who come to our house not to touch Kate Beckinsale, but since it's moved to family members, it's gotten a bit too much. And sometimes, she can be fine, even friendly. But it's just too unpredictable when she'll turn violent.
We're gonna try an electric shock collar, in an attempt to curb this, but I'm afraid it may come to putting Kate down. I'm not entirely against this, but I'd hate to use it if there were any other options. She's made some good movies, hell, some people even enjoyed Van Helsing. Any advice?
Recently, I've been having some actress problems. We've had my actress for about 7 years or so, and she's always had anger problems, but they've become a lot more apparent recently. The actress, Kate Beckinsale, seems to be really protective of my mom, and that includes attacking me any time I try to approach my mom. Kate Beckinsale once went right for my crotch, ripping a hole in my pants, entirely unprovoked. For a while I was afraid of her actually. I would approach, and she'd bare her teeth and say something stupid in her terrible "the count from sesame street" accent -one bat two bat ah ah ah. I know, I thought it was just done for Van Helsing, but no- she actually talks like that.
So, we tried some new techniques: in the morning I would feed Ms. Beckinsale her low carb tai food and bottled water in an attempt to make her see me more as the one in charge. It worked for a while, but recently she's been attacking again, this time COMPLETELY unprovoked. Nowhere near my mom even. I mean, it's understandable for Kate to like my mom, but this is almost lesbo, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's just weird considering Kate Beckinsale has always been straight in my mind.
And it's not just me, I can pet Kate Beckinsale and stuff, but besides immediate family, the actress won't let anyone touch her. If someone tries, she bites. She's drawn blood before, though not much, it's still startling to see this adult woman lunging at visitors and attacking. We could handle this previously, advising all who come to our house not to touch Kate Beckinsale, but since it's moved to family members, it's gotten a bit too much. And sometimes, she can be fine, even friendly. But it's just too unpredictable when she'll turn violent.
We're gonna try an electric shock collar, in an attempt to curb this, but I'm afraid it may come to putting Kate down. I'm not entirely against this, but I'd hate to use it if there were any other options. She's made some good movies, hell, some people even enjoyed Van Helsing. Any advice?