Revenge guy honestly sounds a little more revenge fantasy than revenge that's actually being carried out (or maybe that's just wishful thinking?) but I'm going to treat it as true.
The other part thinks you ought to back off the ledge because maybe if you do, and you have an open convo with her, the two of you might be able to heal together.
He has spent two years cheating on her and actively planning to ruin her life - Would you want to "heal" with someone who did that to you?
And to everyone recommending talking about the old video now - WHY?
What are the possible outcomes of that?
"I only cheated the once! I didn't mean it! Oh god, I'm so sorry"
"GOOD you skank, I've been cheating on you too, I hope you feel like SHIT!"
*Crying*
"Well I cheated on you. I guess I regretted it afterwards. Can we let bygones be bygones?"
"Let me tell you about all the shit I've done to you, I'm sure that won't change that regret at all!"
"Yeah I cheated on you. I thought you were an asshole. I was obviously wrong, because I mean, it's not like you ever did anything to make me feel like that"
"Well, now you mention it..."
"That's not even me, it's Kelly! How could you even think I'd do that?"
"If you think that was dumb wait until you hear about the things I thought would make me feel better about it!"
"That was from, like, two years earlier. It was before I even got together with you"
"... Oops. Oh well, can we overlook all those women I filmed myself with while I was cheating on you?"
"I have no recollection of that"
"Well I saw it. And I've been planning to ruin your life!"
"Well, sure, I can see how you'd feel justified in doing that"
"Oh my God, I was drunk and I had no idea that had happened! I'm mortified!"
"Well if it makes you feel better it made me hate you so much I've been plotting my revenge for years. You must attract assholes"
"Oh, thank god you were honest with me! Let's make out!"
... I mean, I might not be taking those potential conversations
entirely seriously, but you get the idea.
He's been an obsessive, vengeful asshole. I wouldn't even bother talking about the old video now because there's no coming back from what he's already done in his pursuit of revenge. If she's innocent it changes nothing about what he's done, and even if she
did cheat I can't imagine a world where it warrants that degree of "retaliation"
The idea that can be fixed or healed
now...
No. Fuck that shit.
As horrific as it sounds even him fulfilling his plan would be better than that, because at least then she'll know what utter scum he is. I dread to think what that could do to a person but personally I'd prefer that to spending a moment longer with someone who would even
think of treating me like that.