Feedback! I had a lot more written on each one last night, and of course I couldn't remember it all, so....half assed feedback is better than no feedback right?
toddhunter -- A mistake: A really interesting take on the same ole' story. Were you going for a 'betrayed by sense thing' here? If so, well done! It was very claustrophobic.
Mike M -- Eyes on the Prize: I honestly can't think of a single thing wrong with this, and I've read it twice now. It gave me chills; I adored it. Schrodingers extinction event indeed.
swecide -- Up, down and how it always is.: I tried to help you with the proofreading on this, so I've already said a lot about it. Well written, but show don't tell!
Fiction Crisis: I am giving myself feedback. Self, you have two weeks for these prompts, use them wisely. What I was going for here was several things that failed to coalesce; I wanted to hit each theme at least twice. The planet was in danger of extinction, but instead it was Unity Sanctum that died out. She was betrayed by Unity Sanctum, she betrayed them, and the reader was betrayed by the article. I failed to provide enough of a propaganda feeling to make the reader question what they were reading. Also, in order to give the reader a true ARGish feeling, I hid an email address in the document and in my post here on the forum.
GRW810 -- Those Last Words Spoken: This was beautiful, it was such a hard decision between yours and Mike M's. In the end I only went with his because I enjoy creepy stories so much. Again, I couldn't find a single thing wrong with it.
adj_noun -- Secret Origin: I really liked this one too. In my anger last night at losing all my feedback I'd written, I forgot to add you as the HM. I loved the way you had Champion kill the nameless guard. You didn't realize he was killing him until the end, and immediately made me go back and reread and realize...well done you.
Chainsawkitten -- The City: This was disturbing as all hell. Once I realized, I deliberately chose the worst options, and then it was too late and everything was horrible and ahhh. Well done, and the format was awesome.
Cameron122 -- The Chained Lady: A Science Fantasy story.: I am not a fan of mech stories usually, but this was very well written and engaging; it really pulled me in. The only thing I could think to change would be maybe a little more detail on the fight scene, as sometimes it was hard to keep track of who was who.
multivac Aurora: Aw, poor tigers.
Very well written and engaging, I didn't get bored or lose interest once. It all seemed a bit implausible, but I enjoyed it none the less.
irriadin -- The Wanderer: I would love to read more about this world. Another engaging and well written story. So many amazing entries!
FairyD Spotter: Interesting betrayal at the end there. The only things I could find to look out for are repeating information, a few formatting issues and bit more show, don't tell. Otherwise, very well done.
Ashes1396 -- attached to nothing: A difficult story to read. You really feel for Jack, even though he seems to almost be a background character in this. Dialogue without quotes is always weird to me, though I know it was a stylistic choice rather than a mistake.
Tangent -- Drinking Beer and Watching TV: And interesting problem in this one. I find myself questioning though why it needs to be a problem at all. Just leave out the beer part! Show them the netflix log!
But my idealistic view of the world isn't the way it really is. I want to believe that main character will do the right thing in the end.
Cyan -- Red Light Green Light: Another claustrophobic and creepy one, I like it. I was a tad confused about the air supply and how it worked; maybe a bit more subtle detail there would have served, but overall I took everything in faith and enjoyed it immensely.
