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[Ashes]

Congrats Hey Monkey.

@Bagels: Call off the dogs now, will you? Second place is best place. It's winning without having to be the one to create the new thread.

 

[hey_monkey]

Congrats to hey_monkey. It was pretty neck and neck at the start, but her emotionally manipulative small town tale pulled away in the final stretch.

Yikes!

Thanks, guys. This one's got a bit of funny backstory: when we were driving through Illinois last year, we veered off our usual route and drove through a lot of small towns, where I saw what I thought was a sign proclaiming Shitty's Bait Shop. I scribbled it down on a piece of paper, which got left in the car until this week, when I started trying to write this story. I got stuck almost immediately. What could I say? I didn't have a conflict, just a place.

So I sent my husband out to dig through the car and find this thing that I'd written on, which also had the town. Muddy, Illinois (what a great name). Yay, thought I, surely I can now find this place and see some pictures and that would inspire me.

Except Google quickly informed me that I could not read, and the site was actually Smitty's Bait Shop. I was deflated for a bit, and then said to hell with it, let's make that part of the story. Why not. Once I did that, the ideas started rolling in.

I still think Shitty's would have been awesome, though. I'd have totally bought a t-shirt the next time I found myself in the area.

New thread coming in a bit!

 

[toddhunter]

Well done Hey_Monkey

 

[kehs]

Make me write something monkey, i need some catharism.

 

[hey_monkey]

Make me write something monkey, i need some catharism.

Let's do this thing.

 

[Tangent]

[Congrats, hey_monkey! You deserve it! Amazing piece!]



10. Tangent - First Hand Account of the Mysterious Events That Occurred on Rokeh Island

You did a excellent job with the creation myth - it’s tough to come up with something that feels authentic.

This made me think of a conversation I just had with some folks from the mental health thread - about how people use social media to display this carefully crafted best version of themselves. You see them whistling and skipping and you wonder why you don’t feel like that, why you can’t do it. But there’s a certain menace beneath the surface. It’s quite literal in your story, but there’s the same sense that if these people stopped and examined their lives, the whole thing would come crashing down.

But then the bat came along and I thought, “did I misread the whole thing?” I do not understand the ending.

Really well written, but it feels cramped in 1500 words. And what the crap is that bat doing there?!

Congrats hey_monkey!!!

Thanks Bagels. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! That's interesting about the MH forum. A long time back, I read that if you hold a pencil between your teeth for 30 sec, it puts your face in a smile position, and that releases serotonin so that you feel happier. So maybe there's some truth to "fake it til you make it."

I think social media is a whole other ballgame. I think "fake it til you make it" is a way of reframing your own thoughts, or catching your negative thinking. A neuroscientist once said is that the composition of our brains is the story we tell ourselves. But social media seems more about only depicting one narrow and sometimes "empty" side of oneself and displaying that for others -- and not for oneself. One time, I saw someone post something pretty serious, and it was refreshing, but also, it seemed to use the context of quick messages and pictures to talk about a serious topic that would require an in-depth discussion. It just was jarring to see something not fanatically happy! Anyway, maybe all this is not the right place to comment on what you said, and perhaps my response should be on the mental health forum too. If so, sorry!

Yeah idk about the bat. It just seemed like it had to happen in a volcanic jungle setting. But yeah, there must have been a lot of other things that would make the MC black out first!

In general, I need to work on figuring how to get what's in my mind out on paper. I think what I'm trying to convey doesn't always come across. Something to work on!

 

[hey_monkey]

Congrats hey_monkey!!!

Thanks Bagels. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! That's interesting about the MH forum. A long time back, I read that if you hold a pencil between your teeth for 30 sec, it puts your face in a smile position, and that releases serotonin so that you feel happier. So maybe there's some truth to "fake it til you make it."

WHOA. that's really interesting. Coolest thing I've read in a while.

also, thanks.

 

[Tangent]

WHOA. that's really interesting. Coolest thing I've read in a while.

also, thanks.

yay!
you're welcome!