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[Mike M]

Mike M: on the plus side, the results of the challenge seem to indicate that your style isn't bad.

Pht. For all my self-deprecation, that was never a consideration : P

Actually, out of curiosity I tabulated all the winners since I started doing this, and you're the only one who beats me. By a single victory

Thunderbirds are new thread is go!

 

[GRW810]

Thanks to Azih for my one, single, solitary vote. Glad someone enjoyed it.

I'll still try to post some individual critiques soon but here's a few general points:

* How writers interpret and incorporate the theme is the most important factor when I judge a story. Anyone can write any short story but the ability to be successfully prompted by a word and thrive within that restriction is impressive.

Too many stories here seemed to ignore the theme or shoehorn it as a second thought. Just short of a handful bore little relevance to the theme at all. For me, it doesn't matter how good an entry is, if the theme is addressed poorly I disqualify it from consideration.

* Second person narrative isn't my cup tea, and we had several here. I hate being told that I'm doing this or saying that. It rarely reads better than first- or third-party.

* I don't cope very well with a deluge of abstract, floaty, wordy stories. They are technically impressive and boat wide vocabularies and striking visual images but too often they come across as a literary flexing of muscles, especially when I leave the story with no lasting sense of a plot or character. Personal preference, perhaps.

* I'm starting to notice that the challenges are developing certain tropes which are making some stories feel samey. Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

* Congratulations Mike M!

 

[British Monsoon]

Congrats, Mike!

Anyone can write any short story but the ability to be successfully prompted by a word and thrive within that restriction is impressive.

I have a lot of admiration for people that can do this. Far too often in these challenges I spend the weeks racking my brain for something that could somehow be connected to the theme, then when I do get an idea it either falls apart in the writing or I just despise it.

Incidentally, I'm glad I didn't get a single vote for my story. Legitimately one of the worst things I've ever written.

Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

In some ways it's easier, but in others it's not - the word count, for instance. It's very difficult to cram in the necessary world building and still have space left for things like character and narrative. I wish I was more inspired by real life situations, as it seems the majority of what I write is set in some half-baked fantasy or sci-fi world that I have a lot of big ideas for, then fail to adequately explain, or get carried away and forget the story altogether.

 

[Ourobolus]

* I'm starting to notice that the challenges are developing certain tropes which are making some stories feel samey. Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

Yeah, I take the blame for this one. I normally try to shy away from that one, but it just seemed to help try to make it humorous. If you're going for silly humor, it helps to not be bound by un-silly rules.

 

[thelooseteeth]

I want to thank thelooseteeth for submitting my story.

any time *blows kiss*

 

[GRW810]

Yeah, I take the blame for this one. I normally try to shy away from that one, but it just seemed to help try to make it humorous. If you're going for silly humor, it helps to not be bound by un-silly rules.

I'm not for one second suggesting it's a terrible thing or people shouldn't this or that. Your story, which I did guess correctly, was one of my favourites.

But I think that, in the clamour to stand out and present pieces that are more professional and literary there are ideas being pandered to. The percentage set in the real world, with real characters and real rules, has been miniscule lately. Every story seems to be set in space or an ancient village and every character is already dead or can't remember how he got somewhere or needs to discover a purpose.

Every week, with most stories I feel like I'm reading 1500 words of world building and fancy synonyms and 500 words of "oh yeah, the theme. Erm..."

And now I've probably pissed everyone off with a sweeping criticism of their work I'll grab coat and find the exit.

 

[Mike M]

Thanks to Azih for my one, single, solitary vote. Glad someone enjoyed it.

I'll still try to post some individual critiques soon but here's a few general points:

* How writers interpret and incorporate the theme is the most important factor when I judge a story. Anyone can write any short story but the ability to be successfully prompted by a word and thrive within that restriction is impressive.

Too many stories here seemed to ignore the theme or shoehorn it as a second thought. Just short of a handful bore little relevance to the theme at all. For me, it doesn't matter how good an entry is, if the theme is addressed poorly I disqualify it from consideration.

* Second person narrative isn't my cup tea, and we had several here. I hate being told that I'm doing this or saying that. It rarely reads better than first- or third-party.

* I don't cope very well with a deluge of abstract, floaty, wordy stories. They are technically impressive and boat wide vocabularies and striking visual images but too often they come across as a literary flexing of muscles, especially when I leave the story with no lasting sense of a plot or character. Personal preference, perhaps.

* I'm starting to notice that the challenges are developing certain tropes which are making some stories feel samey. Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

* Congratulations Mike M!

I'm not for one second suggesting it's a terrible thing or people shouldn't this or that. Your story, which I did guess correctly, was one of my favourites.

But I think that, in the clamour to stand out and present pieces that are more professional and literary there are ideas being pandered to. The percentage set in the real world, with real characters and real rules, has been miniscule lately. Every story seems to be set in space or an ancient village and every character is already dead or can't remember how he got somewhere or needs to discover a purpose.

Every week, with most stories I feel like I'm reading 1500 words of world building and fancy synonyms and 500 words of "oh yeah, the theme. Erm..."

And now I've probably pissed everyone off with a sweeping criticism of their work I'll grab coat and find the exit.

Post-mortem CWCGAF is best GAF

Anyway, I think I place a bit less emphasis on the incorporation of the theme in my evaluation criteria. Outright ignoring the theme entirely will probably cost you some standing, and a truly brilliant interpretation will score you some points with me, but mostly I'm looking for entertainment value, quality of writing, and technical proficiency. Of course in my view all of that is kind of inextricably tied together and highly subjective, so don't expect consistency in my voting patterns : P

That said, I'm hardpressed to name many stories lately that ignored the theme or interpreted it poorly. A poor intepretation isn't really something that can exist with me, as I view just about any interpretation as valid (i.e. I occasionally go with a second or third definition on a word). The only thing that matters to me is if you built a good yarn around it.

But I will agree with the second person thing. It's a difficult trick to pull off, and I haven't really seen it done yet. I gave it a go as an experiment once... Once. I do like to think that I don't do a lot of "abstract" or "floaty" stories, but yeah, yeah, yeah... I do get wordy and use terms that I think are perfectly cromulent (THIS IS HOW I TALK, PEOPLE), but I'm constantly getting feedback trying to steer me away from writing like that. And I'm making an honest go of trying.

But insofar as the number of stories set in the real world, I think that's just an artifact of the crowd of people that participate in this. I can't speak for anyone else, but I read and write speculative fiction almost exclusively. I live in the real world. The real world is boring. It is very very very hard for anyone to write a story set in the real world and maintain my interest, because I hate it here and want to spend as much time in escapism as I can : P

The exception to that would be comedy, but *writing* comedy is hard. So much of it is dependent on tone and delivery, more easily conveyed live or on film. Not so much in the written word. Indeed, I look back through my previous entries and I find I've had more set in the real world than I remembered, and all but one was a comedy.

 

[Ourobolus]

The exception to that would be comedy, but *writing* comedy is hard. So much of it is dependent on tone and delivery, more easily conveyed live or on film. Not so much in the written word.

I'm learning this, but not accepting it as fact yet. Gonna keep at it.

 

[Mike M]

I'm learning this, but not accepting it as fact yet. Gonna keep at it.

It's far from impossible, it just... Requires a different tool set than comedy featuring any sort of performance art visuals.

 

[Ourobolus]

It's far from impossible, it just... Requires a different tool set than comedy featuring any sort of performance art visuals.

I suppose I'll just keep working on channeling my inner Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett.

 

[GRW810]

I'm learning this, but not accepting it as fact yet. Gonna keep at it.

The humour - which was your giveaway - was better than in your previous stories. I remember the dead-kid-porn-mags story and found the humour very forced. I actually enjoyed the light-hearted nature of this one.

If humour is what you enjoy, stick with it. There will come a challenge and a theme where it wins out over the rest because it's so ideal.

 

[Ourobolus]

The humour - which was your giveaway - was better than in your previous stories. I remember the dead-kid-porn-mags story and found the humour very forced. I actually enjoyed the light-hearted nature of this one.

If humour is what you enjoy, stick with it. There will come a challenge and a theme where it wins out over the rest because it's so ideal.

Yeah, I wasn't especially proud of that one. I tried too hard at the ridiculous side-conversations that I didn't focus my attention on the main action as much as I should have. Oh well. Live and learn.

Divine Protection - Nice, fun story. The harp gag was a bit out of left field even if he threw it from the start of the story. I guess divine harps don't give a shit about adhering to linear time.

Exactly! Heaven's like...somewhere far, right?

 

[Sober]

Oh right, I promised comments:

Baby Shoes - Damn, that title primed me for the ending but it still got me.

The City You Once Loved - Got a very etheral, dreamlike quality out of that, which I liked.

Divine Protection - Nice, fun story. The harp gag was a bit out of left field even if he threw it from the start of the story. I guess divine harps don't give a shit about adhering to linear time.

Fakir and the Prince - Really liked the moments between him and Benov by the end. Would be curious where it might go from there, or if there are more moments of prince-as-commoner worth exploring.

For the Want of a Dream - There's a lot, perhaps too much detail and it's hard to tell because it's scattered between the author showing it and some that your character sees. The former is tricky because a lot of it seems extraneous at times and doesn't lend to what your character sees (in which case it's not really important to him) or the story to make it important enough to tell us about it.

God Forsaken - Rather like the prose, but it gets a little off. Got a hold of it on a re-read but a little cleaning up will fix flow and pacing, I think.

Hexenjäger - Very fun story, liked the setup and the little twist at the end. Having the hunter be such a gentlemen was a touch I liked.

Lonely Planet - Really cool story, liked the imagery of the forest twisting and reshaping itself as we delve into Mino's thoughts.

Nameless - Nice fairy tale and the vignettes of him overcoming different fears, but the ending was a bit out there and unexplained. Are the woman and child related to the M/C then? He needed to cross over to go home or something?

No One - Interesting poem. Wish I was a bit more knowledgeable about how to comment on a poem, but it was good.

Still Creek - Creepy and unsettling but not sure if you had more in mind you couldn't fit in. Guess the smuggler guy was real but why waste a shot on someone without a weapon? The girlfriend disappearing could use some explanation too.

Swashbuckled - Fun pirate story. Not too sure about the dialogue; it got what was needed but occasionally felt a bit inconsistent at times even when it was clear who was speaking, to me it felt like the characters switched tones throughout.

Things that make my heart beat faster but not in a horror kind of way. - Sweet story, although not too sure an 11-year old would know how to jerk off so soon.

Ties that Bind - Absurd is interesting, but I sadly didn't really enjoy it as much.

Where's the fun in that? - Interesting twist on the Groundhog Day formula. 20 years is a bit of a long time, I'm surprised to see where it could've gone or if the M/C had tried to change everything and how the universe course corrects anyway.

White Light - Lacks a bit of polish. Some sentences go on, or are unclear at times. Try another pass or reading it aloud to see where you can clean it up.

Yes, people knew it was me, even after I revised this thing daily for a week and a half to scrub it of every trace of five dollar words and purple prose--not in any attempt to disguise my entry, but just a genuine attempt to incorporate a 16 months of feedback and curb my bad writing habits to produce something more readable.

And what gave me away? "Bereft?" From the man who uses words like "depilated," "phrenetic," "thanomaturgist," and "bifurcated," fucking "bereft" is the tip off?

Are you kidding me?! This story is now a metaphor for my word choices stabbing you all through the heart!

Seriously though, it's an interesting thing to be so readily identifiable to some people, because if I have a particular "style," I'm not aware of it. Outside of maybe a penchant for writing condescending intellectual types... And picking obscure-ish words as my titles...

Personally, I am not a fan of purple prose or the overuse of 5$, 10$ words (though I'm guilty of catching myself using them occasionally). I don't mind if you are trying to write for us for the challenges, I just hope you aren't completely trying to stamp out that style; if you enjoy that style by all means keep writing like that.

Thanks to Azih for my one, single, solitary vote. Glad someone enjoyed it.

I'll still try to post some individual critiques soon but here's a few general points:

* How writers interpret and incorporate the theme is the most important factor when I judge a story. Anyone can write any short story but the ability to be successfully prompted by a word and thrive within that restriction is impressive.

Too many stories here seemed to ignore the theme or shoehorn it as a second thought. Just short of a handful bore little relevance to the theme at all. For me, it doesn't matter how good an entry is, if the theme is addressed poorly I disqualify it from consideration.

* Second person narrative isn't my cup tea, and we had several here. I hate being told that I'm doing this or saying that. It rarely reads better than first- or third-party.

* I don't cope very well with a deluge of abstract, floaty, wordy stories. They are technically impressive and boat wide vocabularies and striking visual images but too often they come across as a literary flexing of muscles, especially when I leave the story with no lasting sense of a plot or character. Personal preference, perhaps.

* I'm starting to notice that the challenges are developing certain tropes which are making some stories feel samey. Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

* Congratulations Mike M!

I feel like even when we use the word 'theme', it feels more like a prompt rather than a theme (both in the way the 'rules' say we can interpret it how we wish, and because some challenges don't really have themes). Personally I look to see how they interpreted the prompt, but that's only a small factor even still.


I do have to ask, because I did write one of the second-person narrative stories. I'm fairly new at trying them. I did enjoy the other one that Branduil wrote, but - personal preference coming up - I think 2nd person really works better in the present tense. Detail is definitely tougher to come up with in 2nd person. I try to aim so it can accommodate male/female readers but I think that sometimes limits what I can do. Still not too sold even when I write in 2nd person and I refer to the reader's past. There's just something though about it, even if you don't feel like being told what you're doing, I'm going to make you do it anyway, and how you feel afterwards is all up the reader, I guess. But then it means I might have to be more broad about certain things to illicit a better response.

If anyone wants to jump in and defend 2nd person, go right ahead

 

[Ourobolus]

I do have to ask, because I did write one of the second-person narrative stories. I'm fairly new at trying them. I did enjoy the other one that Branduil wrote, but - personal preference coming up - I think 2nd person really works better in the present tense. Detail is definitely tougher to come up with in 2nd person. I try to aim so it can accommodate male/female readers but I think that sometimes limits what I can do. Still not too sold even when I write in 2nd person and I refer to the reader's past. There's just something though about it, even if you don't feel like being told what you're doing, I'm going to make you do it anyway, and how you feel afterwards is all up the reader, I guess. But then it means I might have to be more broad about certain things to illicit a better response.

If anyone wants to jump in and defend 2nd person, go right ahead

Why not first-person, then? You still get the sense that the reader is "part of the narrator" but without being directly told that "Hey, this is about you." (If that makes any sense).

People like to follow along rather be the subject of a story. First person kinda reconciles those two aspects and allows for both. Present tense works well there too, IMO.

 

[Mike M]

Personally, I am not a fan of purple prose or the overuse of 5$, 10$ words (though I'm guilty of catching myself using them occasionally). I don't mind if you are trying to write for us for the challenges, I just hope you aren't completely trying to stamp out that style; if you enjoy that style by all means keep writing like that.

It's not just you guys. I have a writing group that meets the Thursday before stories are due, and while the demographic and skill level differs greatly from this bunch, I get the same feedback.

And mostly, I think everyone's right. I think I'm at my best when I'm being breezy. The second I try and get literary, I end up flexing my vocabulary and lose all sense of cadence, pacing, and flow. It becomes a tryhard monstrosity.

I do have to ask, because I did write one of the second-person narrative stories. I'm fairly new at trying them. I did enjoy the other one that Branduil wrote, but - personal preference coming up - I think 2nd person really works better in the present tense. Detail is definitely tougher to come up with in 2nd person. I try to aim so it can accommodate male/female readers but I think that sometimes limits what I can do. Still not too sold even when I write in 2nd person and I refer to the reader's past. There's just something though about it, even if you don't feel like being told what you're doing, I'm going to make you do it anyway, and how you feel afterwards is all up the reader, I guess. But then it means I might have to be more broad about certain things to illicit a better response.

If anyone wants to jump in and defend 2nd person, go right ahead

My only attempt at second person. Beware failed attempts at lyricism about creamer in coffee...

I would agree that 2nd person works best in present tense, but present tense has its own attendant problems. So it's like a two-fer of difficulty to write well. It's just hard to write something where the reader is in the story and have enough detail to be engaging without having so much that you crowd out the reader by presuming to dictate their actions and put words in their mouth.

 

[Sober]

I just did some quick googling but since I don't really follow what people say about writing. I was somewhat surprised people apparently absolutely loathe second person to the point where they will stop reading the moment they notice it and that apparently the present tense is everything wrong with literature these days.

 

[Carlisle]

I actually appreciated the 2nd-person narratives. I can understand some of the complaints about being told what to feel and think, but I think that adds a sense of being pulled into something whether you want to or not--kinda exhilarating for me. I dunno, I guess it felt more personal in a way? But more than anything I never get the chance to read 2nd person stories so it was really cool to freshen things up that way.

When I set out on a new challenge I usually think, "what's something I've never tried before?" And then I see if I can do it. I've never written this consistently in my life so I've been trying to take the opportunity to leave my
comfort zone more. My first challenge was a 1st person story, then I tried world building, and a letter format with zero dialogue, and now I tried comedy. 2nd person never occurred to me but now I'll probably obsess over the idea until I give it a try. Maybe this next challenge, maybe not.

Too many stories here seemed to ignore the theme or shoehorn it as a second thought. Just short of a handful bore little relevance to the theme at all. For me, it doesn't matter how good an entry is, if the theme is addressed poorly I disqualify it from consideration.

I'm glad you mentioned this as it was something I was worried about with my story. I actually thought of the nameless pirate island behind a wall of fog first and built the story around it. But as I kept building the characters and events I ran out room and could only briefly mention it at the very end. I felt like I was being cheap but it was the only way I could think to do it at 2 words below the limit and hours after the deadline. I gotta start planning better.

 

[Cyan]

I'm learning this, but not accepting it as fact yet. Gonna keep at it.

I really want to learn to write funny or humorous stuff. It's easy in real life: I've done some stand up, humorous speech contests in Toastmasters, etc. I have no problem making people laugh when I'm there in person. But in writing? Man, I dunno.

I'm going to join you in trying to learn to write funnies.

 

[Ourobolus]

I really want to learn to write funny or humorous stuff. It's easy in real life: I've done some stand up, humorous speech contests in Toastmasters, etc. I have no problem making people laugh when I'm there in person. But in writing? Man, I dunno.

I'm going to join you in trying to learn to write funnies.

I've written things that get a chuckle out of people before, so I feel like I'm not entirely hopeless when it comes down to it. It is different, though - you can't really write everything at face value - even serious situations have to be presented with or surrounded by some sort of levity.

One of my favorite written examples of comedy is Neil Gaiman's/Terry Pratchett's Good Omens. It's largely absurd, irreverent humor, but it never fails to make me laugh. I'd love to be able to write like that.

 

[Branduil]

Writing in 2nd person is definitely hard. And I made it even harder with the subject of my story, but it was still fun to try. I probably won't do it again for a while though, unless the story really demands it.

I'll also try to write my story before the deadline is 4 hours away.

 

[Cyan]

* How writers interpret and incorporate the theme is the most important factor when I judge a story. Anyone can write any short story but the ability to be successfully prompted by a word and thrive within that restriction is impressive.

Too many stories here seemed to ignore the theme or shoehorn it as a second thought. Just short of a handful bore little relevance to the theme at all. For me, it doesn't matter how good an entry is, if the theme is addressed poorly I disqualify it from consideration.

I generally view the theme as more like a prompt. If it catches your imagination and springboards you somewhere else, that's totally fine by me. Basically, I agree with Mike that it might get someone extra bonus points if they use the theme really well, but I'm not too worried about it otherwise.

Mostly I'm judging on how much I liked the story, on whether it reached me at all emotionally (this is why I vote for Ashes so often--his stories almost always succeed at this), on whether it did the things I want a story to do. Quality of writing is going to be part of that, as is originality and probably most of the criteria you can think of. It all comes together into: does this story succeed?

* I'm starting to notice that the challenges are developing certain tropes which are making some stories feel samey. Stories set in the afterlife or in a little fantasy village are ten a penny around here. I guess it's because it's easier to write those due the lack of real life boundaries.

Well, we're writers from a community that tends towards the nerdy, so it's not surprising that there's so much speculative fiction in here. I lean heavily towards that myself. Though I would say that people should be wary of some of the things we've seen a lot of around here: afterlife stories, generic post-apocalyptic settings, D&D-style adventurers adventuring. I mean, if you have a strong idea for one of those, go for it. But that ground has been so often tread that you're going to have a harder time making the reader feel anything about it.

I think ronito's old rule of thumb is a good one. He used to come up with at least three ideas for the writing prompt, and then toss them all and come up with something else. The point is to keep yourself from doing the obvious thing, as the first few things that come to mind are likely to be obvious.

That's actually kind of what derailed my story this time. I often fall into the habit of doing what's expected, and wanted to end my story with something more surprising. So I skipped over the things that I had planned to do with the heart of the forest and made it something totally different. The reason it failed is that I didn't take the time to go back and layer hints into the story earlier, to make it not only surprising but also supported by the text. It's a tricky balance!

 

[Carlisle]

Incidentally, I'm glad I didn't get a single vote for my story. Legitimately one of the worst things I've ever written.

I liked yours quite a bit actually. Bah, this is what I get for skipping critiques this round. I thought it was a well-executed ghost story that kept me pretty riveted throughout. It would have benefitted a lot from more time/word limit though. If that mysterious shotgun guy and some other circumstances were fleshed out just a bit more it would have gone a long way with me. I had this story in the top 5 as I whittled down my score list.

 

[Azih]

Going through the critiques I think I'm realizing that I vote for stories that I liked the best not the ones that are the best written (there is overlap of course). Huh.

Baby Shoes:
Lovely characterisation for both husband and wife through dialogue alone. No criticism on the writing style but damn the ending was a downer. i don't think a technician would ever give out this kind of information and instead just report findings to a doctor to relay the bad news but that level of nitpicking would just harm the story. Would have been higher as one of my three picks if it wasn't sad. The strength of the characters is what forced me to give you the vote.

The City You Once Loved:
Great concept and idea to tie having a name with self awareness. The dialogue and some of the writing was oddly stilted and formal and I had to re-read a few sentences a few time to understand them but it contributed to the other-worldiness of the setting.

Divine Protection:
I really like your setting concept of heavenly angles as overworked and incompetent bureaucrats that feel under-appreciated. It honestly works and the (almost) successful struggle of the angel was just fun to read. The twist downer ending was expected ( though the way it happened wasn't so points for that) but I don't like downer endings really.

Fakir and the Prince:
Thanks for the critiques from those who gave them. Glad it got a few HM's and votes. Really like I've said before I don't expect to win any of these things anymore, and I'm just glad that people read and enjoy them. Mike M, I'd like to know why you thought the story wasn't layed out in a straight ahead chronological fashion. I wasn't trying to do any sort of tricky flashback or time skip stuff at all.

God Forsaken:
It's a great idea. Felt like the telling of an Arthurian Legend from the other side and the conceit of relating the tale via the ramblings of the defeated witch/priestess started out really strong. It really faltered though when the narrator had to relate step by step what happened to the reader and got it the way of her ranting and weakened the story.

Hexenjager
Great story, great characters, the dialogue was sharp and conveyed important information without being expository and the action when it burst forth was done well. The only reason I didn't vote for it was both characters ended up being pretty unlikeable. Probably the intent and it felt odd to me that the hunter wouldn't ransack the witch's place after killing her.

Lonely Planet
Conveying the emotional state of being a tormented and self-doubting writer via the mechanic of an empathic forest is actually really intriguing. I felt it was done well but being in the mind of a whiny depressed author what hates his job isn't all that fun.

Nameless
Read like a myth and read well. The sequences of the man putting himself through trials to overcome fear was just plain good storytelling. The ending seemed out of sync though and I think I would have preferred what was in the center of the forest to remain somewhat mysterious as what he actually found just made the orgin of the man and the Forest really confusing.

No One
Haha, nice poem but I'm not really equipped to critique it.

One Last Mission
Ah man, I really didn't like this one. The motivations of the MC were delved into but seemed really unbelievable to me. He had no real connection to the movement and wasn't driven by vengeance either. Why he wasn't just hunted down after his desertion and why he would go through with a complicated suicide bombing plot just weren't answered well enough for me based on how the rest of his character was depicted. And seeing how unbelievable I thought the guy was, the use of the second person did not sit well at all.

Still Creek
Really liked the start and the middle. At the end though it felt kind of rushed. The main character's descent into frustration seemed kind of fast and he left the deserted town after the reveal kind of quickly. The reveal was good though and like I said I liked the story up until he went back a second time.

Swashbuckled
I think the writing was a bit rough in places and I didn't like the name 'Neckbeard'. It injected a bit too much contemporary forum humour into the pirate story. The part where the sailors started killing themselves rather than continue the journey was actually pretty funny.

Things that make my heart beat faster but not in a horror kind of way
I really really liked it. It actually managed to be a bit of a nicely slow paced story of a kid's first experience with adult situations and the reveal of the kid's misunderstanding was just gently revealed in a pleasing manner. The final 'twist' of the guy always remembering the story when his little sister's birthday comes about actually made me laugh. Just great stuff.

Ties that Bind
A weird world with weird characters. The intro was intriguing and I liked how the job interview fell apart with the main character staying true to himself in an absurd way. I really don't understand where you were going with Tommy at the end though and the whole sequence in the Kebab place felt a bit off.

Where's the fun in that
I actually really liked this one and is a HM from me for sure. Calling out GroundHog Day by name was a good callback and the realtionship between Donald and Steve was just lovely. Just good friends having a chat and Donald getting to share his burden with someone just before he has to go back and do it all over again. Liked both the characters and that helped a lot in enjoying the story.

White Light
It's certainly an interesting story and the tale of someone... ascending I guess?... isn't down too much so that was good. I think setting it in a world going through or having gone through some sort of apocalypse was too much to process in such a short story though. I don't know if the setting was necessary for what is happening to the MC but I think something a bit more staid would have let me focus more on what was going on with the main character himself.

Again thanks all, getting critiques is really the most important of this for me. Mike, can you tell us how exactly your writing group compares to Gaf? I guess they're overall better writers? And congrats on the win.

 

[Mike M]

Thanks for the critiques from those who gave them. Glad it got a few HM's and votes. Really like I've said before I don't expect to win any of these things anymore, and I'm just glad that people read and enjoy them. Mike M, I'd like to know why you thought the story wasn't layed out in a straight ahead chronological fashion. I wasn't trying to do any sort of tricky flashback or time skip stuff at all.

I guess I completely misinterpreted? From my recollection, the Prince-as-Fakir left the warehouse/docks part of town, and then the next scene had him contemplating going to the warehouse/docks part of town? I may have conflated the part of town he left with the part of town he was looking to go incognito, but I didn't think he'd be making a return trip to some place he just left and took if to be a flashback.

Hexenjager
Great story, great characters, the dialogue was sharp and conveyed important information without being expository and the action when it burst forth was done well. The only reason I didn't vote for it was both characters ended up being pretty unlikeable. Probably the intent and it felt odd to me that the hunter wouldn't ransack the witch's place after killing her.

Well, she was a witch living in a cottage, I didn't imagine she would have much of value : ) I mean, I guess one could argue that the seer stone had some worth, but probably only for another witch wanting to stick their own eye out to use it. 'Sides, the Unnamed Man was a gentleman of means, he wouldn't need anything anyway. Or something.

I may revisit this character again some day.

Again thanks all, getting critiques is really the most important of this for me. Mike, can you tell us how exactly your writing group compares to Gaf? I guess they're overall better writers? And congrats on the win.

Oh god no, they're mostly pretty bad. Half our regulars are retirees writing awful memoir pieces. There are a few people in the mix that I would put on par with CWCGAF, though, but even the bad writers are capable of telling me what they like or don't like about my stuff.

 

[Carlisle]

Going through the critiques I think I'm realizing that I vote for stories that I liked the best not the ones that are the best written (there is overlap of course). Huh.

That's what I've started doing. I started out in my first couple challenges by voting for what I thought were the best-written. But with the last couple I've found most of the stories to be really well-written, so I'm now going more by what I enjoyed more.

 

[Cyan]

Interesting, Mike. I'm in two different writing groups. One of them has writers who are a bit better than I am, so that I always feel like I need to really polish up my stuff before I submit it for critique. It's also pretty slow-moving. The other has writers who are on my level or a few notches below. But most of the writers are pretty prolific.

I can't help feeling that the people from the second group are likely to get published sooner.

 

[Mike M]

Interesting, Mike. I'm in two different writing groups. One of them has writers who are a bit better than I am, so that I always feel like I need to really polish up my stuff before I submit it for critique. It's also pretty slow-moving. The other has writers who are on my level or a few notches below. But most of the writers are pretty prolific.

I can't help feeling that the people from the second group are likely to get published sooner.

Ironically, one of the "bad memoir" types seems most likely to get published, simply because his story is ridiculously interesting (he's descended from Afghan royalty), and I'm reasonably certain any interested publisher would be able to edit it into better shape. Another girl closer to my age has a couple novels unpublished and got so far as to get a response from an agent wanting to look at her manuscript before getting turned down.

I'm probably the most prolific, but I only ever have time to write for these challenges : /

 

[Ourobolus]

How do you guys find writing groups?
How did you determine you like the group?
What do you like about them?

 

[Mike M]

How do you guys find writing groups?
How did you determine you like the group?
What do you like about them?

I went to Meetup.com one day and happened upon a local one that was having its first meeting that Friday, so I hopped on to check it out. I've been there since the beginning and have only missed like three meetings, so I kind of feel obligated to be there : )

I like it because the organizer is pretty devoted to it, and we maintain meetings like clockwork, come hell or high water. The people are generally nice and welcoming (We have one recent addition that I kind of wish hadn't bothered, but there's no cause to kick her out).

It'd be nice if the overall skill level were higher (I am really not comfortable saying that I'm the best one there, buuuuuuuuut...), and I wish we weren't so heavily tilted toward memoir stuff, but I get by. We have a shared Dropbox folder that no one ever seems to use but me : /

Kinda hoping that this InkIns site develops into something with a robust friends list so I can share with more people more my speed. But first their damned beta needs to launch

 

[Carlisle]

That's pretty cool. Doing these CWC has been immensely helpful and loads of fun. It might be good to expand and get into more opportunities to write like a meetup group. Ouro, we could probably start a small group around our parts. I know one other mutual friend who enjoys writing. I've talked these challenges up to her but I don't think she's too interested in a gaf account. There are probably a few others we could get to join too I'm sure.

 

[Cyan]

Got into both of my writing groups through meeting people in writing workshops or classes.

I think I talked a while back about going to the Writing Excuses retreat last year. Great event for a lot of reasons, but one of them was that I met a lot of cool writerly people. We stayed in touch through email and Facebook, and one of the more proactive people got a group together of about seven of us, and we started a crit group (there were enough people at the retreat that I'd be surprised if there weren't another one or two regularly-meeting groups of attendees). We meet every other week via Google Hangouts, do both novels and short stories, and have leniently-enforced rules about lengths of critiquing and the way they're done. We also all get along really well and have a great time just chatting about writing stuff before and after the official meeting. This is the second group I mentioned above, which is less skilled on average but more prolific.

The other group is fairly similar. I took an intensive short story workshop run by Mary Robinette Kowal over the course of a weekend (the one I linked is the most recent one I spotted on her site... not sure if she's doing them anymore). There were eight people total in the workshop, and at the end of it we decided to get together and form a writing group. Mary mentioned that this was a fairly common outcome for her workshop attendees. Two of the people eventually dropped out because of being unable to handle the commitment, but the rest of us are still going strong. We meet once a month on Google Hangouts, do only short stories, and are a bit stricter with the rules. We get along reasonably well and have recently started to thaw out a bit and have more fun. We're all planning to meet up in person at the World Fantasy Con this November, which should be a good time. This is the more skilled, less prolific group.

I value both of these groups for somewhat different reasons. The Writing Excuses group are just really fun people, are always willing to help work through any writing questions or issues any of us are having, and also help keep the pressure on me to produce. The workshop group is skilled enough that I feel pressured to keep improving, and tend to have incisive crits. I typically take a story through the WE group, revise with their suggestions, and then take it through the workshop group. And then start sending it out!

Neither group is looking for new members at the moment, but it's possible that will change at some point. You guys should feel free to let me know if you might be interested in checking either of them out in the future.

 

[Ourobolus]

That's pretty cool. Doing these CWC has been immensely helpful and loads of fun. It might be good to expand and get into more opportunities to write like a meetup group. Ouro, we could probably start a small group around our parts. I know one other mutual friend who enjoys writing. I've talked these challenges up to her but I don't think she's too interested in a gaf account. There are probably a few others we could get to join too I'm sure.

I'm on my phone so ignore my structure...

Yeah, I'd be totally down with that. I can check Meetup for that sort of thing, but I would be cool with starting something if you are (it's good to have a partner). Let's talk.

 

[Ashes]

Internet's gone round our part. :/ bummer.